Second Chances
by anqelkissezox
Summary: upon graduating highschool Bella Swan thinks she's never going to see her highschoolcrush again. a vacation abroad  however may prove otherwise. will sparks fly...and what happens when they get back home? All human. Story is better. please read and review
1. The ceremony

Chapter 1.

BPV

I was watching my crush give the valedictorian speech. He was the class hottie, he was the quaterback, he was smart, and he had a deep side that only I knew about. He was as talented as Beethoven at playing the piano. The whole auditorium laughed as he said something funny.

"pst Bella your drooling!" My sister Alice said. After I was born my parents wanted to give me another sibling. My mother got pregnant again but miscarried. Since she didn't want to go through that again they went out and adopted Alice. I was only five years old but I still vaguely remember the French orphanage that we rescued Alice from. My parents took it as a sign from god that we were exactly the same age down to the day. Alice cried about not going to Gucci as we boarded the plane to take her home. Ever since then Alice and I were best friends as well as sisters. It was like Alice chose us. The first day we met…at the orphanage Alice walked right over to us and introduced herself and we started to play.

_Flashback._

_I was scared out of my mind. How could something so horrible exist I thought as I stared at the dirty cribs. I never thought my father was right…he always said to thank god I was born an American. I never understood what he meant till now. I saw a black haired little girl with bright green eyes stare at me. She walked over, smiled warmly, and held out her hand._

"_Hi my name's Mary but everyone calls me Alice!" the girl said taking my hand_

"_Why?" I asked._

"_Cuz I like the name better…I feel it's more me!" the girl said_

"_It's a pleasure to meet you Alice!" My mother said. _

" _how are you speaking English so well?" Charlie asked._

"_Oh I've been here for ages…and they speak both here…I speak French too!" Alice said._

"_Bilingual!" Charlie said. If he adopted her he would have someone to translate the French on his shampoo._

" _Ooh your into Barbie too!" Alice said staring at my Barbie backpack. She took out a princess Repunsle Barbie doll._

"_wanna play…I'm the only girl that like's Barbie dolls here…it's so weird!" Alice said._

"_We'll take that one!" Charlie said as if Alice was a lawnmower. A couple of months later we were in the American Embassy filling out the final forms and changing Alice's name. _

"_Thank you…thank you…I always wanted to get rid of Mary…it is so blah…why couldn't my birthparents name me at least Marie…like your middle name Bella…even that's better than Mary!" Alice said._

"_Do you want Marie to be your middle name?" My mother asked._

"_Yes!" Alice squealed. _

"_Bella we're sharing a middle name now…and a last name!" Alice said excitedly. Two days later we boarded the plane…Alice crying about Gucci._

End of flashback.

" Bella…you got National honor roll and your going to NYU for a degree in English…Alice your also going to NYU for a degree in fashion and merchandising…congratulations girls Daddies proud!" Charlie said holding us in a vice grip.

"Crushing. Me!" Alice gasped from Charlie's arms.

"My baby girls growing up…I never thought I'd have two daughters graduating on the same day!" Charlie blubbered.

"Well what are you going to do about it Chief Swan …growing up's not a crime you know!" Alice said. It was then that my crush gave me a fleeting look. My heart almost stopped. Snap out of it Bella…you barely even know him…you partied with him once and that didn't go to well.

_Flashback_

_My head was in his toilet. Alice was rubbing my back and holding my hair up. It was a party that him and his twin brother Jasper were hosting. It was also the first night I got trashed. _

"_Shush…shush…its okay…its okay…ugh Dad is totally going to kill me for taking her here…but what should he expect…he knows that I drink. He caught me at that party that he busted a few months back!" Alice said. _

"_I feel so sick…I'm never drinking ever clear again!" I moaned._

"_I told you to be careful with it…I don't even drink that stuff…and I love drinking!" Alice said. I had my head in the bowl again when I heard HIM coming._

"_I gotta take a whiz…UGHHH!" He said running out of the room. _

"_I now see why you said you think he doesn't like you!" Alice said._

"_Thanks Alice!" I said_

_End of Flashback_

Needless to say I didn't show my face at any other parties. I was so embarrassed by the incident. I cried for two weeks. I mean I just killed my chances of getting with him!

" So Eric's having a banger tonight…Bella the love of your life is going to be there tonight!" Alice said as we went into the cruiser.

"I DIDN'T JUST HEAR THAT…LALALALA!" Charlie said

"ALICE!" I hissed.

"What?" Alice asked.

"firstly you know not to talk about parties in front of Charlie…secondly you know I don't go to those things!" I whispered.

"Oh Bella just because you had one bad experience…it happens even to the best of us…how would you like to be me…I woke up in the back seat of Mike Newton's suburban once…on the Indian reservation with Billy Black's son staring at me hungrily…those people are creepy …that's way worse then throwing up in front of your crush…and I still party!" Alice said loudly.

"LALALALALA I CANT HEAR YOU!" Charlie said. We then pulled into the driveway of the house. Alice and my twin trucks sitting in the driveway.

" Lets go upstairs and get ready!" Alice said dragging me up the stairs. She wasn't going to take no for an answer. When we entered our room there was a white envelope on each of our beds. I opened mine up to reveal a note and plane tickets.

" _to celebrate this momentous occasion I decided to play fairy godfather and grant Alice her one wish. Your hotel reservations are already set…your leaving in a few weeks for two weeks…and your passports are still good ( from when we took the family trip to Canada) I'm going to miss my babies…be careful and don't trust anybody!…Love your daddy Chief Swan!"_

"EEE! WE'RE GOING TO MILAN…I CAN DIE AND GO TO HEAVEN!" Alice shrieked.

"Thank god I didn't _buy_ lunch over the past two years ( Alice had a deal with the lunch ladies…she gave them free makeovers in exchange for free lunch) …we have enough to go on a big shopping spree there…and I have credit cards!" Alice chirped excitedly.

"And you Miss frugal…how much do you have in that piggy bank from shopping sprees that we didn't go on…was it last count $10,000!" Alice said.

"It wasn't that…that's the money I have saved up for college!" I said.

"College smollage…we got full scholarships…you don't need that money…you can spend a little of it!" Alice said. Alice had messed up priorities.

"I'll think about it Alice!" I said.

"ooh look it the time…we have to get ready…and like now…Charlie's going to disconnect our batteries in a half hour!" Alice said shoveling clothes at me like there was no tomorrow.

" HURRY!" Alice said after she applied my make up. She jumped out the window. We tipped toed around the side of the house. Alice craned her head up towards the living room window.

"good he's sound a sleep on the couch…and it looks like mom went to bed…we're free! RUN BELLA RUN TO YOUR TRUCK LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW!" Alice was shouting. Jesus Alice was acting like it was the end of the world! We bolted to the truck together.

"GO GO GO!" Alice shouted as I pealed out of the drive way. Alice peered over her shoulder looking for flashing lights.

"See Bella isn't this fun!" Alice said.

"um!" was all I could say. A few minutes later we pulled in front of Eric's house. The entire senior class was there. My heart sped up when I saw the silver Volvo sitting in the driveway. I mentally slapped myself. Get over it Bella…he doesn't even know you exist!. As we pulled up we saw a blonde head run towards my car.

"ALICE YOU MADE IT! YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY TEXT…I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE COMING!" Jasper bounced excitedly to the car. It was dead obvious he had a huge crush on Alice but she was too stupid to see it. I didn't get how …I could sniff that from twenty miles away. Kinda ironic that _his_ twin brother had a crush on _my_ sister. The only reason Alice never told him about my crush on his brother was because I made her take a blood oath…let's just say I'm a lot stronger then Alice.

"I WOULD HAVE…I WAS TOO BUSY FORCING THE HERMIT OUT OF THE HOUSE!" Alice said. Jasper rubbed his eyes theatrically.

" am I seeing things…Bella Swan at a party!" Jasper joked.

"Haha very funny!" I said. We entered the house together.

"the toilet's the first door on the left!" Jasper laughed.

"Shut up!" I smacked him playfully. Jasper was very easy going….very easy to get along with. I was never going to live that down though. At our thirty year reunion they were going to be like here comes toilet girl when I walked in.

"I'll get you girls some drinks!" Jasper said eagerly running to the kitchen.

"Hey Shakespeare's lover!" _His_ best friend Emmett came walking out obviously trashed out of his mind and carrying a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels. He wasn't as easy to get along with. Every time he opened his mouth I wanted to punch him in the face. What didn't help was the fact that before _he_ and_ his_ family moved here Emmett was the class bully.

"Hey steroid addict…did you forget to take your shot today…your muscles look less big!" I said.

"WHAT!" Emmett said running to the nearest mirror.

"Ha! Good one!" Alice snickered. It was then that Jasper returned with two margaritas.

"I think you'll find this more mild then ever clear!" Jasper said handing one to me. He handed the other to Alice.

"You know me so well!" Alice laughed taking a sip.

"Jazzy…went a little overboard on the tequila…I like it!" Alice smiled. Four drinks later we were pretty lit.

"OH NO CLEAR THE BATHROOM…BELLA THE LIGHTWEIGHT'S DRUNK!" Emmett bellowed.

"Look who's talking…your not sober yourself!" I said pissed.

"Go shove it up your ass Em…this is the first time I got her out of the fricken house to drink in like a year and your opening up your big trap…besides I seem to remember that at the last party you had alcohol poisoning and you spent some time with the toilet bowl your self…not to mention that we had to call an ambulance and YOU HAD TO SPEND THE NIGHT IN THE HOSPITAL!" Alice snarled. Emmett rolled his eyes and walked away. Heading into the living room I saw _him_. The blonde bimbo formally known as Tanya was standing next to him but I could see her eye wandering to different parts of the room. The look on his face said that _he_ wasn't happy. They were an on again off again couple. Tonight they were definitely off…their faces spoke volumes. I didn't have the nerve to talk to _him_ though so I just sat there and quietly watched _him_ for the rest of the evening. I so wished I had either Jasper or Alice's personality. Jasper wasn't afraid to talk to Alice though he was enamored with her…hell he bowed cow and turned into her faithful servant! WHY couldn't I do that!

"Good…he dumped the blonde hoe…hopefully its forever…I couldn't stand her…she was too domineering…hell she even tried to control when he went to sleep!" Jasper said from behind me.

"Well whatever makes him happy." I said I grabbed a chip from the bowl next to me and pretended to read 17 magazine as _he_ walked over. Jasper and _him_ walked to another corner of the room and proceeded to talk. Alice sat down right next to me.

"Way to go…you just blew what was probably your one and only chance to talk to the school's most eligible bachelor …he walked right next to you and you said _nothing!_" Alice said pissed.

"Don't remind me!" I moaned.

"if I were you…make a move and do it like this summer. You and I are leaving…your probably like never going to see him again once fall comes and I don't want to hear you kick yourself for like the rest of your measly life about the one that could have been." Alice hissed. Alice had a point there. If I didn't make a move soon I would probably loose my chance forever. I started to make my way over there but was pushed out of the way and down the stairs into the basement by Emmett who was about to upchuck in the bathroom. I wasn't hurt but somehow I became trapped under a work bench by Eric's toppled over snowmobile. I was discovered by Alice and Jasper a few hours later.

"Someone's going to have to talk to Emmett about how much is too much and pushing people around…he could of really hurt someone this time." Jasper said. He then whipped out his phone and sent a text message to someone. The door opened and a more sober but still lit Emmett bounced down the stairs

"Your brother said that you need my services?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah…move that over there and stand it back up!" Jasper said pointing to the jet ski.

"Man how did that happen?" Emmett asked staring at what he could see of me.

"You…Emmett you really need to control the drinking…you almost killed Bella!" Jasper said.

" Shakespeare's lover…we'll have you out in just a sec!" Emmett said. He lifted the snow mobile and dragged it away from me.

"ugh please don't tell dad about this!" Alice begged.

"I wont if you wont!" I said. Alice beamed.

"well I'm off…Bella you have some black shit on your pants…sorry about the shove!" Emmett said running up the stairs. Alice tried to get the dirt off.

"We're going to have to shout that out…and if it doesn't come off I'll get Emmett to repay the $40 that I spent on those jeans…thank god I have a backup pair in your truck!" Alice said after a few minutes of trying to clean me off.

"Why do you have a back up pair in there?" I asked.

"in the off chance we get busted by dad…do you really want to explain why you have a huge stain there?" Alice asked.

"Good thinking!" I said.

We cleared out soon after. Alice bugged me the whole way home about blowing my chances. I was just about to tell her to put a sock in it when we pulled up into the driveway. Charlie was still deeply asleep on the couch as we passed the living room window.

"Yes!" Alice whispered as we scaled the side of the house. Alice jumped in the window in two seconds flat. she had skills that most thief's would be envious of. Me it took a little while longer as I almost lost my footing a few times.

"Geez Bella you really do need your inner ears checked or something!" Alice said as we both tossed Pj's on at lightning speed

"Hey it's not my fault you didn't use the perfectly good ladder that was laying on the ground outside the window." We could hear the sounds of Charlie snoring like a truck driver downstairs. Mom was talking in her sleep in her bedroom. From what we could hear she was having a dream about my father.

"like mother like daughter ay…try to keep the dreams about _him _at bay tonight…if I have to hear "'I'll always love you for ever and ever and ever" once more I think I'll kill myself…last night you woke me from a sound sleep!" Alice said as she turned out the light. Two minutes later Charlie woke up and checked on us. I always wondered how Alice knew he was going to do that.


	2. The city of shopping

**i dont own twilight S/M does. this disclaimer goes for the first chapter as well. please read and review!**

Chapter 2

BPV.

Alice grew more excited about the trip each and every day. We eventually learned that our father afforded the trip because he went to and got everything on a deal. Well that explained how he could afford an international trip for two weeks.

"So cant wait…shopping…shopping …shopping!" Alice chirped the night before we left. It was then that my father entered the room.

"Now girls your going to be in a different country with a lot of strangers now I'm not trying to say not to make new friends while your out there but remember to please be careful. Things happen…hormones start raging and you wake up in a strange hotel in the middle of Germany with some girl named Helga dressed as a playboy bunny whipping you in the but…damn I knew I should of watched how much I drank." Charlie said zoning out at the last part. Ew I didn't need to hear my dad just say that.

"ew dad that's nasty…and that's not going to happen to us!" Alice said.

"Damn right that's not going to happen to you…I got you some presents!" Charlie said tossing small bottle's of pepper spray at me and Alice. Just underneath the amount to get on a plane.

" and here's a list of places that carry defensive weapons once you get there. Bells I took the liberty of ordering you a stun gun from a store there…(he pointed to the only one starred off on the list) since your definitely going to need it. You guys take good care of each other while your out there…you got that!" Charlie said handing us a list.

"Dad…you have nothing to worry about. We're going to be fine!" I said.

"Yeah dad take a chill pill!" Alice said.

"Now I expect a call when you touch down and every night!" Charlie said.

"Okay!" Alice said. An evil grin grew on her face. A phone call wouldn't stop Alice from going out. When Charlie left the room Alice went on her face book.

"Leaving for two weeks…SO CANT WAIT J J J J J J J J !" Alice posted. Almost instantaneously it said " one new notification". Alice clicked and it said " Jasper Cullen commented on your status."

"What a coincidence…we're leaving tomorrow too…be safe don't do anything I wouldn't do! ;)" Love slave…I feel your pain Jasper.

"We will…love ya Jazz!" Alice sent. Jasper probably just had a heart attack right now. I pictured the image of_ him_ helping Jasper out and smiled.

"I wonder where _they're_ going. Knowing them they're probably going to a secret island that their family owns privately…they're so loaded." Alice sighed dreamily. I was suddenly overwhelmed by images of _him_ running on a crystal clear beach looking like a modern day Adonis. Bronze hair glissning in the sun-"BELLA YOUR NOT LISTENING TO ME…THIS IS WHERE WE'RE GOING!" I opened my eyes to see Alice standing in front of a map of Milan. Gucci was circled in hot pink highlighter.

"Now…battle plans!" Alice said.

"Day one…Gucci, Versace, and Christian Dior…Day two…Prada, Fendi and Chanel…Day three…" Alice was going on as if she was going to heaven or something.

"Alice just control the spending before you sink yourself into financial ruin…your not a gizzionare you know!" I said.

"Are you kidding me…that would never happen!" Alice said.

" Ooh I can already taste the shopping!" Alice said excited. Just then Alice's phone went off. It was the love slave saying good night to her and again wishing her a good trip.

"Aww Jazzy's so cute!" Alice exclaimed reading the text. I really felt for the poor man. He had it bad for my sister and she didn't even know it.

"Now packing…I took the liberty of packing both our stuff that way you wont look horrible in the fashion Mecca…don't be shocked if you have a few new things in there as well…you cant just wear anything to Milan!" Alice said tossing me two suit cases. If she could she would of packed me four. Alice then took out her wheel around and carryon and placed them near the door.

"All that's left is the makeup!" Alice said dashing to a bureau and tossing every piece of makeup she was allowed to take in her makeup case.

" I'm soo excited that I just cant hide it…I'm about to loose control and I think I like it!" Alice sang. Oh god this was Alice's favorite song.

"We gotta go to bed now…we're leaving for the airport at two am!" Alice said.

"Two am?" I asked.

"That international wait thing!" Alice said. Two am came really fast. I was awaken from a sound sleep by a bouncing Alice. Charlie drove us to the airport crying.

"My baby girls…all grown up and going to Italy!" Charlie cried.

"Charlie it's not like we're moving…we'll be back…unfortunately!" Alice grumbled the last part. We grabbed breakfast and waited for our flight. The flight before us boarded and swore I saw bronze hair enter the gate. Wow it truly was disgusting how obsessed I was with him. I started to drool as I pictured _him_ on an Italian beach-"BELLA SNAP OUT OF IT…THEY CALLED OUR FLIGHT FIVE TIMES ALREADY…ARE YOU COMING OR DO YOU WANT TO STAY WITH CHARLIE!" Alice shouted shoving my shoulder.

"Oh right!" I said as we boarded the aircraft. About half way through the flight a movie stated to play. It was "Romeo and Juliet" the 1960's version…my favorite movie. I heard gagging sounds from Alice. I glared at her.

"What my life is a Shakespearian play about YOUR UNREQUITED LOVE..SORRY IF I CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH OF THAT!" Alice shouted. Everyone shushed her.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WORSE…THE DREAMS…OR THE DAY DREAMS…IT'S LIKE ONE HINT OF HIM AND YOUR OUT FOR AN HOUR!" Alice roared.

" Alice SHUT UP!" I screamed. Half the plane cheered.

"Wonder what Jasper's doing right now… where do you think he is?" Alice asked.

"Alice they have enough money to do an around the world trip…at all the most expensive resorts…they honestly could be anywhere!"

" damn it Jasper couldn't get me a ticket to go along…I would of loved a mud bath and a massage!" Alice said. She would have…no one else would of liked to foot the bill.

"Ooh look it…I think I can see big Ben!" Alice said looking out the window.

"We're going to have to go to London some time…shopping!" Alice said. It was then that her phone rang.

"Oh hey Jazzy!" Alice greeted. I really felt bad for that man. He couldn't go a day with out talking to her. He even ignored safety rules.

"I'm on a plane right now…oh you are too…that's cool…yeah once we get back we're gonna have to have a banger…I know…obviously at your house…do you think we could ever host a party at mine with dad being the chief of police…its going to be great…we'll talk details when we get back...bye!" Alice said hanging up the phone. I had a feeling I would not be able to escape this party either.

" looks like we have another party to go to….you have another chance with _him_!" Alice said excited. Yep definitely not escaping this one. We landed a little while later. Alice shrieked when we went to pick up the rental car. We needed it to get to and from the hotel and to the actual city. From there we were going to walk everywhere.

"Porsche 911 turbo bright yellow…dad definitely didn't get us this…oh well not telling them of the mistake…this is like a dream…a dream come true!" Alice said as we jumped into the car. We pealed out. Our hotel was located like in the middle of nowhere. The only neighbors were a mansion that was like a mile down the road.

"Wouldn't you like to live _there_…its amazing!" Alice said staring at the mansion as we drove by it. A fountain bubbled in the front lawn.

"Alice you know that wouldn't happen …stuff like that doesn't happen to people like us!" I moaned. Alice stopped the car.

"Bella how many times do I have to tell you…there is no classification between people…that's just an excuse to hide behind!" Alice said.

"Whatever Alice just drive the car before anyone see's anything!" I said. Alice then started to drive.

"What I'm just trying to say is that you doubt yourself too much…you do have great potential you know!" Alice said as we pulled into the hotel parking lot. We checked in and ran up to our rooms.

"ooh I don't know about you but the sauna downstairs is calling my name!" Alice said whipping out a bikini and heading to the bathroom. I quickly followed suit when she was done.

" ah this is the life!" Alice exclaimed stretching out on the bench in the sauna.

"remind us to thank dad for this later!" I said.

"yep!" Alice agreed. I then must of fell asleep in the sauna for Alice was shaking my shoulder.

"Bella get up…lets get something to eat!" Alice exclaimed. We went to the hotel restaurant and got a quick bite.

"Tomorrow…shopping…shopping!" Alice said psyching her self up. When we went upstairs Alice called room service and ordered a bottle of Champaign.

"I love Italy…I love the drinking age here!" Alice said popping the top off.

"To shopping and Italy…may we have the best time of our lives!" Alice toasted. We clinked our glasses and drank. I only had one glass because I didn't want to wake up sick the next morning. Alice however polished off the rest of the bottle.

"Oh Bells I don't get why you have to be so…prude…drinking's not bad!" Alice said trashed.

"Well unlike you Alice I do get hangovers!" I said. The very limited times that I was drunk in my life taught me that I do get them.

"Hangover smangover!" Alice said. She drunk dialed Jasper.

"Oh Jazz Jazz guess who?" Alice slurred into the phone.

"Al-Al I was just going to call you Allie bear!" Jasper slurred…he was trashed as well. I could hear _his _voice in the background saying "EMMETT PUT DOWN THE BOTTLE OF GIN" and there was a lot of smashing noises.

"Oh Shit!" Jasper said.

"Where are you Allie?" Jasper asked. He probably wanted to know where to stalk her.

"Un disclosed lo cation!" Alice answered.

"Ooh sounds fun!" Jasper said.

"JASPER YOU DRUNKEN FOOL…GET OFF THE PHONE YOU SOUND LIKE A MORON!" _he_ said to Jasper.

"Oh chill out…crack a bottle of jack open !" Jasper said.

"You tell him Jazz!" Alice said. We could hear a scuffle and a click.

"Wow that was a total buzz kill!" Alice said staring at her phone.

"Well I guess it's off to bed…lots of places to go, things to do, things to see!" Alice said unzipping her suitcase. When I opened mine I saw at least three new sets of PJ's. only Alice!

"Good night Bella!" Alice said turning the light off. The only sound in the room after that was the sound of her phone going off. Man Jasper really did have it bad. Alice went to check her Facebook the next morning. The minute she put her new status up "Off for girls vacation with Bella…cant wait to see all the sights and sounds of the nearest mall!" five comments came up…all from Jasper.

"Al-Al have fun" Was the first one.

"I forgot to ask you…where are you?" Read the second

"Sorry I hung up last night…my brother and Emmett are assholes…and a bottle of southern comfort made it easy for them to over power me…I miss you Al-Al" the third comment read. Jasper was obviously drunk when he wrote the last two…they were unreadable…you couldn't even read what he wrote.

"Aww Jazzy I'll text you where I am later…I don't want any creepers to come stalk me…love you!" Alice commented on her own status. A little while later Alice checked her face book again and there was one notification…from _him._ she opened it up but there was nothing there.

"Huh he must of accidentally wrote something but deleted it!" Alice said. We then headed to the mall. Entering Gucci Alice seemed overwhelmed. Her eyes twinkled and she ran over and sniffed the pocket books.

"The smell of fresh leather!" Alice said passing out into a pile of pocket books. I took a picture and set it to her face book profile picture. Alice would be honored to have that up there. A lot of people started to comment on that picture. Some girls said "I wish that was me!" and others said "typical Alice". Jasper of course was numero uno…as usual.

"Oh man I wish I were those pocket books …jk lol" Jasper sent. A crowd was forming around Alice's unconscious body. Just then my phone started to buzz. Oh no Charlie.

"What's going on…I saw a picture of Alice passed out on Spacebook…what happened?" Charlie asked.

"It's called Facebook dad and how'd you get on it?" I asked.

"Nevermind that…what's happening?" Charlie asked

"Nothing dad…gotta go…talk to ya later…bye!" I said hanging up the phone as fast as I could. In all my years I've only seen Alice pass out in a mall once…the first time she stepped foot in an American mall. Alice came to and I showed her the picture.

"Thank you Bella!" Alice said happily. Of course she would want a picture of her passed out body on face book.


	3. Cupid drives a Bentley

**i dont own twilight S/M does. this disclaimer goes for the first chapter as well. please read and review!**

Chapter 3

BPV

Alice and I returned to the hotel after a day of shopping…she wanted to continue after that episode in Gucci. She found a Dior bag that she absolutely had to have and bought it. It seemed as if she was in love with the bag . She seemed as if she was on cloud nine or something like that.

"ooh I totally love this bag…I cant wait to show it off when I get home!" Alice said excitedly. And that was only after one day of shopping. Alice went back on her face book and saw 23 new comments on her profile pic. Jasper left a few more comments mostly about trying to figure out where Alice was and there was more "typical Alice's" and stuff like that.

"Look at me…I looks so happy!" Alice exclaimed looking at the picture of herself

"Alice…dad saw." I said.

"Oh shit…how?" Alice asked.

"He found out about face book!" I said.

"How did he find out about face book?" Alice asked as I attempted to go on mine. It was taken down. I basically had to reconstruct my face book from my phone.

" how'd he find your face book…that's creepy!" Alice exclaimed

" Dad knows all." I said.

"well that's really weird…guess I'm going to have to watch what I write now…if he knows you have one then he probably will find out about me…I'm gonna have to talk to Jasper about this situation." Alice said as we headed back to the restaurant to eat.

"So what do you say we hit up the Jacuzzi after we're finished here!"

"Okay!" I said.

" two bowls of spaghetti and two glasses of white zinfandel!" Alice ordered. After we finished we went upstairs and changed. Alice took off like a lightning bolt towards the Jacuzzi and almost cannon balled into it.

"Totally getting one of these when I'm older…Bella your invited to use it whenever you want…I love hotels!" Alice moaned. We stayed there for like a half hour…Alice talking about what a big day we had tomorrow. She snapped a picture of us together in the Jacuzzi on her phone and posted it on Facebook. Guess who was the first to comment.

"Looks like your having fun…but you cant beat the fact that I'm in my own hot tub!" Jasper sent. Under that comment Jasper posted a picture of himself and _him_ in a hot tub wearing glasses.

"Oh great…here we go…I'm not gonna hear the end of this tonight!" Alice.

"Just do me one favor…please duck tape your mouth shut before you go to bed…please…if you love me!" Alice begged. I was happy to oblige that whim of Alice's. I didn't want Alice listening to my private thoughts…I was getting dangerously paranoid about Alice spilling everything in a drunken conversation with Jasper. I fell asleep listening to Alice say Dior and Prada in between snores. I was awoken in the middle of the night by Alice screaming in her sleep.

"NOOO GUCCI'S CLOSED…WHAT DO I DO…I NEED TO GET IN THERE!" she was sobbing in her sleep. The sad part was that was Alice's worst nightmare. She wanted to talk about duck taping people's mouths.

"JASPER BREAK THE LOCK…CUT THE SECURITY!" Alice cried out. I was never going to get any sleep.

"POCKETBOOKS…I MISSED YOU…COME TO ALICE!" Alice said. I swore I heard sniffing sounds.

" DON'T WORRY LITTLE LEATHER GUCCI POCKETBOOK…I'LL BUY YOU!" Alice said. I went out on the balcony and stared out into the Italian sky. I looked over at that huge mansion that I could see off in the distance. It was beautiful. It really was beautiful. From what I could see there was a figure on the balcony of the mansion. I wonder if that person had a bumbling idiot that was keeping them from sleeping too. I day dreamed about Romeo and Juliet at this point…_him_ walking up to my balcony. Get a grip on yourself Bella…he doesn't even know you exist never mind where you are right now. I looked up and saw his face in the sky…was I going to see him everywhere? Ugh this is going to be a long trip.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Alice screamed waking up.

"I always have this nightmare all the time…well its not really a nightmare… that someone's watching me sleep all the time…its really weird!" Alice said shaking.

"Alice it's just a dream!" I said

"I know but most of the time it feels real!" Alice said still shaking.

"Now I'm not going to go back a sleep!" Alice said. Wonderful well now maybe I can sleep.

"Bella will you stay up with me?" Alice asked afraid. Why god…why? Why me?

" as long as I can!" I said. That didn't mean much…I was just about to crash.

"Okay…now that we're both up…you mind if I give you a manicure…it will help me feel better!" Alice asked.

"Whatever Alice." I said.

"EEEEEE! This is going to be so much fun!" Alice said whipping out pink nail polish. I wasn't going to go back to sleep for at least three hours

"So…I saw you on the balcony Bella…you were thinking about _him_ again weren't you. That's not healthy you know…why don't you just text him. I have his number!" Alice said.

"Absolutely not Alice!" I said.

"Some times Bella you have to be the one that takes the initiative.!" Alice said

"Alice I'm not like you!" I said.

"That's because you don't want to be…I swear to god Bella if you talked some times…" Alice said.

"Alice shut up!" I said.

"Whatever!" Alice said.

"so rhinestones?" Alice asked with her eyebrows wiggling.

" alright Alice." I groaned.

"EEEEEEEEE! Your nails are going to look great!" Alice said whipping out the rhinestone package. I conked out almost three hours later while Alice filed my last nail. I was awoken by the sun entering the room.

"Rise and shine sissy…it's a big day today…the mall awaits!" Alice called opening the curtains.

"ALICE!" I groaned.

" What…the early bird catches the worm… its time to get up!" Alice said.

"Hurry up…I need to put your makeup on !" Alice ordered. She shooed me into the shower. When I came out she was sitting at the makeup stand …everything all set. Just like yesterday. After she was finished we grabbed our clothes and went out the door. The minute we hit the city Alice threw the car in park and sprinted down the side walk. I started to chase her. We came up to a corner when Alice darted into the street.

"PRADA PRADA PRADA PRADA PRADA!" Alice chanted as she ran into the road.

"ALICE WAIT!" I called running after her. I barely saw the grill of the Bentley before blackness hit. A face came swimming into view . A very very familiar face. Oh please god no…let it be some hallucination…a very hot hallucination.

"EDWARD?" Alice called shocked. Oh no! Edward was _him_. _he_ was Edward. I had a sick obsession with Edward for the past two years…ever since he and Jasper moved to town. Everyone liked Edward for his status and money and looks but I saw his other side. No one but me knew that he snuck off to the band room every Thursday night to play the piano. He could play the piano like nothing that I ever heard before. After Alice showed me the peep hole that connected the girl's locker room to the band room I sat there every week watching and listening with a bag of chips . I know I had it bad.

"Are you okay…Bella isn't it?" he asked. When he spoke it was like the pearly gates opened up and all the angels in heaven sang. He knew my name…he knew MY name! it was then that I heard Jasper's voice.

"ALICE!"

"JAZZY!"

"Why didn't you tell me you were here…we could of hung out?" Jasper asked.

"ME! What about you…you never said anything either!" Alice said.

"Oh man Edward…did you hit something?" Emmett's voice asked. Oh crap that's all I needed. I looked to see Emmett walking with his bimbo girlfriend up to us. It was Tanya's cousin Kate. She was the female version of Emmett…the Regina George of Forks High School.

""Psst Bella …what are the chances you'd get run over by your crush on vacation…Its fate!" Alice whispered.

"ALICE SHUT UP!" I groaned. It was then that the paramedics showed up. Alice jumped in next to me. She started speaking fluent Italian to the paramedics.

"Alice when did you learn Italian?" I asked.

"Oh now I speak two more languages other then French and English. Italian and Japanese…thank you Rosetta stone!" Alice said.

"Japanese?" I asked.

"Tokyo…huge shopping district…duh!" Alice said as we sped off to the nearest hospital. My arm , ribs and head were killing me. It figured I had to get run over by my crush during my vacation.

"you know he doesn't have to follow us to the hospital and he is!" Alice said staring at the Bentley following the ambulance. Jasper was probably making him follow Alice. I should know…I was a fellow stalker.

"He's probably just concerned about us suing him or something…Alice he doesn't like me like that…I mean look at me!" I said. I was average…chest nut colored hair that was neither straight or wavy and brown eyed. He was the green eyed, tall and muscular but lean, unkempt haired version of Adonis. People like him didn't even look at people like me!

"You don't give yourself enough credit…your actually very pretty…you'd have a lot more boyfriends if you just opened up a bit more!" Alice said. It was then that one of the Italian paramedics spoke. I had no clue what he was saying. Alice smiled and leaned in.

"He's hitting on you…see Bella you are very pretty…why on god's earth you think your ugly I have no clue (actually she did.)…all you need to do is open you jaw and speak!" Alice said.. I wasn't sure whether to trust Alice or not in this situation…she could be lying.

"You know if your not sure whether or not he's going to be mean to you…he's not like his other friends a.k.a Emmett…he's more like Jasper…I should know I've been over their house when there's not a party!" Alice said.. We flashed a look at the Bentley.

EPV.

We were getting into the car to follow the ambulance. I couldn't believe I ran over a girl I liked…in another country. Smooth Edward…she's really going to like you now! Jasper held my hand…he was in a similar situation with her sister. Emmett and Kate jumped in the back seat.

"I cant believe you ran over Bella The Lightweight!" Emmett said.

"Emmett stop…I already feel like a dick!" I moaned.

"I don't get why we're following the Ambulance…she shouldn't of ran out like that…she should of looked where she was going!" Kate said.

"ENOUGH ONE MORE WORD OUT OF YOU TWO AND YOU FIND YOUR OWN PLACE TO STAY TONIGHT!" I snarled.

"Yeah that's my friend your talking about…and Alice's sister!" Jasper agreed.

"So what's Tanya up to?" Emmett asked slightly changing the subject.

"She's in Miami." Kate and I said together.

"With her boyfriend Ricardo…he's apparently on the Porto Rican version of Jersey shores…I don't really like him…I'm hoping that she get's back with you Edward!" Kate said. Ha! Fat chance of that happening! Besides the fact that I liked Bella , Tanya screwed me over good this time with Ricardo. I never really talked to Bella but I was getting around to that. She didn't really like the people I was friends with…especially Emmett. That brings me back to the day that I first realized I liked her.

_Flashback._

_I was at my locker grabbing my books when I heard this loud commotion. A few feet away a chest nut haired girl that I'd never seen before was picking up her books in the middle of the hall. Huh I thought I knew all the girls in school. Unfortunately the person who made her drop the books was Emmett. He was holding her copy of Romeo and Juliet in the air._

_"Shakespeare's so boring…why the hell would you want to read this shit?" Emmett was laughing. I shoved my copy farther in._

_"LOOK JUST BECAUSE IT'S NOT SPORTS STATISTICS DOESN'T MEAN IT'S NOT BORING. IT MIGHT BE A LITTLE MORE INTRESTING TO YOU IF YOU WERE ACTUALLY INTELLEGENT ENOUGH TO READ WHAT IT SAYS! OR IF YOU VENTURED OUT OF YOUR WORLD OF SPORTS AND STERIODS!" The girl snarled._

_"Hey just because your jealous of me and my friends…or the fact that I actually have friends doesn't give you the right to speak to me like that!" Emmett said actually offended. I never saw Emmett offended before._

_"Whatever…give me back my copy you pompous ass…I promise you'll never have to see or hear from me again!" She grabbed the book out of a shocked Emmett's hand and stomped away angrily. Wow I was impressed. I had never in my life heard anyone talk to Emmett like that. I think I was in love._

_"did you just hear that?" Emmett asked walking over to me._

_"yeah who was that?" I asked._

_"Bella Swan…Police Chief's daughter…she's like a weirdo…never goes to parties…always reads Shakespeare and stuff…her sister Alice is a lot more cooler though I love to torment her as well!" Emmett said. When Emmett walked away I snuck to the office. Mrs. Cope gave me her class schedule…I could get anything out of her…she had a cougar crush on me. I stalked out her every class to see what she was like. I noticed her stuffing a paper in her desk in English so when it ended I went in and found it. This was an excerpt. _

_-"He's the sun to my earth. With out him I would not exist."-_

_Great she was in love with someone. I would have to find out who this dushebag was. When I was done with the paper I could not believe that a high school girl wrote this. She was so talented…well beyond high school level. No wonder why she was irritated with Emmett. She was right…Emmett didn't take any interest in anything non sports related._

_End of flashback_

"damn she's lucky you didn't turn her into a pancake!" Emmett was saying. I tuned back to the conversation.

" geez I thought you hit a dog or something!" Emmett said .

"Pretty close!" Kate laughed haughtily.

"Geez Kate she's a nice person shut up!" Jasper said.

"Not to me!" Emmett countered.

"That's because you call her Shakespeare's lover and shoved her down the stairs…not to mention the other nick name you gave her!" Jasper said.

"I also recall you telling her that what she read was boring and that she was jealous of you because she has no friends." I said.

"No friends…what am I chopped liver…I'm her friend!" Jasper said turning around highly offended. Note to self…talk to Jasper.

" Oh please Jasper we all know that you're her friend because you want to get in her sister's pants" Kate said. I noticed Jasper take his phone out.

"Good one Babe!" Emmett said giving Kate a high five.

"for your information Kate I'm interested in being Bella's friend. She's sweet and she's quite attractive…so you can count another friend for Bella." I said.

'Are you kidding me…we all know that Tanya's ten time's hotter then Bella!" Kate snorted.

"well you know what they say …beauty is in the eyes of the beholder…I think that Bella is very unique looking which makes her beautiful to me!" I said.

"Don't tell me you want to tap that?" Emmett asked shocked.

"Emmett some girls are worth more than a piece of ass!" I said.

"You don't even know her…she's anti social and she love's Shakespeare…how could that be worth more than a piece of ass?" Emmett said.

"Don't bother explaining it to him…he doesn't get it…he'll never get it but I understand exactly where your coming from!" Jasper said. We then got out of the car and met Alice in the waiting room. Emmett left to go to the cafeteria.

"and I understand where she comes from too…I HATE HIM…why oh why did you have to become friends with him out of all the people in the school?" Jasper whispered in my ear before Alice saw us.

"Ugh I don't know what we're going to do about this…I don't want my dad to find out but he's going to get the hospital bill!" Alice said scared.

"Don't worry we'll pay for everything!" I said. Jasper started to rub Alice's back. He looked like he was in all his glory.

"It's okay Alice…don't worry about a thing!" Jasper said soothing her.

"FAMILY OF BELLA SWAN!" They called in broken English. Alice rampaged over and spoke fluent Italian with them.

"That's my Alice…so well rounded!" Jasper said. She then walked back.

"Good news they didn't get in touch with Charlie or Rene and since family is here they wont try to get in touch with them anymore…she's got a concussion, broken arm, and a bruised rib …they want her to stay a few days for observation…"

"We'll stay here…no problem!" Jasper said. I was going to have to thank my brother later. Who knew his obsession with Alice had benefits. Alice then went visit Bella. Jasper turned to me.

"Dude now's your chance…make a move!" Jasper said.

"I haven't even talked to her before…I want to take things slow…do things right…you know…unlike Tanya." I said

" Sleek…I like it…your more like me then you know!" Jasper said.

"I don't know how well this is going to go over…she's always giving me dirty looks." I said unsure.

"That's because your always with dumbass who made it his life's mission to pick on her…god no wonder why she hates him. My suggestion is to show her that your not Emmett. Show her the side that only I know because a chick like Bella isn't into the superficial things." Jasper said. I went to the gift shop and got her sun flowers and a card. I wrote "Sorry for running you over on your vacation…please let me make it up to you in any way possible…E"

BPV

I was sitting in my room alone watching the Titanic in English subtitles. It was the middle part where Rose is trying to find Jack in the water.

"Keep going!" I was crying. I heard Alice clear her throat and Edward stumble into the room. Wow Alice had more strength then I gave her credit for if she could knock a 6 ft tall quarterback almost off his feet. The door slammed shut. He looked nervously around the room. I was going to kill Alice if she had put him up to this. He took the chair next to me and handed me a bouquet of flowers. A little card was sticking out.

"you really don't have to do that you know. How much did Alice bribe you to do it?" I asked.

" what makes you thing Alice bribed me?" he snickered. Oh wait I forgot he was rich…Alice didn't have to bribe him but it didn't mean that Alice didn't make a few suggestions. Like how did he know that sunflowers were my favorite flower…only Alice knew that!

" I'm not an idiot you know…you don't have to play the sympathy game just because I got run over by your car." I said

"That's what you think I'm trying to do…real great opinion you have of me huh!" Edward said. Well what else could it be? I mean people of his social class usually didn't associate with me! Besides you have no idea how great my opinion is of you!

"Well that's your breed isn't it…I mean your friends with Emmett McCarthy…the most pompous ass in school…you and all your friends were probably making fun of me in the waiting room." I said. An image of Emmett laughing came to mind.

"you can ask Alice…no one was laughing at you…Emmett wasn't even in the room!" Edward said. Well there's a shock…Emmett missing an opportunity to laugh at my expense.

"Well there's a shock!" I said.

"Were not all the arrogant people you think we are…well except Emmett." Edward said. Got that right…Emmett's arrogant…well arrogant isn't a strong enough word.

"Hey look it…it's pancake!" Emmett said…his head popping in the door. Kate snickered next to him. Oh god not another nick name!

"EMMETT SHUT UP!" Edward growled

"Whatever I don't need this…I was happy to graduate high school to get away from you people…I don't need to deal with this again…you can all be on your way now!" I said.

"Burn!" Emmett said.

"JUST GET OUT!" I roared to all of them.

"Fine then…just know that I really do want to get to know you…but I'll give you your space if you want it!" Edward said putting his hands up and leaving the room. Alice darted in right after.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT…YOU BLEW YOUR CHANCE!" Alice roared.

"What are you talking about Alice?" I asked.

"I'm talking about the fact a little birdie named Jasper told me that he actually felt bad, that he wanted to hang out with just me, you, and Jasper (had a feeling Jasper made up that part)…no Emmett and that he thought you were really sweet and interesting!" Alice said. Oh shit!

"He really said that?" I asked

"would Jasper lie?" Alice answered. He wouldn't but you would!

"Jasper also told me that Emmett and his stupid bitch girlfriend Kate were making comments about you on the way here and that Edward got really mad and stuck up for you!" Alice said

"Really?"

"Really and I can attest to that because Jasper secretly had his phone on speaker phone and I heard the whole thing!" Alice said.

"Bella you need to stop living in your cloud of denial! I'm not saying that Edward is head over heels in love with you and stalks you like you do to him but he does think you're a pretty nice person from what he knows of you. So if I were you I would take advantage of that and get to know him better! Who knows what might happen! We are in Milan the city of Romance!" Alice said.

"that's Paris Alice." I said.

"Well pretty close…and Rome's just right down the street!" Alice said there was a soft tapping on the door and Jasper walked in. who would of known.

"hey guys sorry that Emmett has to be such a pain in the ass Bella…we tried hide the trip every way we could from him…he found out…tried to get him kicked off the plane…planted drugs on him…still didn't work unfortunately and to boot he had to bring the wicked bitch of the west with him…I'm still watching to see if she jumps on her broom in the middle of the night …actually I had two spare tickets and I was going to invite you Alice and whoever you want to bring…like Bella or something like that…but dumbass found the tickets first!" Jasper said.

_Flashback_

_JPV_

_We had invited Emmett to play some football on a Sunday afternoon the week before we graduated. _

_"yo guys do you have some beer around here…I could definitely use a nice cold brew right now!" Emmett asked._

_"In the fridge in my room…don't forget about me!" I said. A few minutes later Emmett burst through the door with the plane tickets that I bought for Alice + one. _

_"ITALY HELL FUCKING YEAH…YOU GUYS SHOULDN'T HAVE!" Emmett bellowed. Edward and I looked at each other and mouthed "Oh fuck!". Well since I didn't have the heart to tell Emmett that they weren't for him and I hadn't gotten up the courage to ask Alice yet might as well just give it to him. _

_End of flashback_

BPV

"Friggen Emmett so annoying…like seriously I probably would of said yes!" Alice said.

"Yeah he annoyed the shit out of me the whole plane trip…him and Kate played tonsil hockey the whole way there. I think they broke the record for longest kiss on an airplane! It was disgusting…Edward and I had to hide our faces the whole time…hey Alice need a ride to your hotel…get a change of clothes...maybe a bite to eat!" Jasper said sounding like the over zealous lap dog.

"Sure you know me so well Jazzy!" Alice said.


	4. Inside the  Mansion

**i dont own twilight S/M does. this disclaimer goes for the first chapter as well. please read and review!**

Chapter 4

JPV

I was on the road with Alice…in her rental Porsche…Emmett dropped us off from the Bentley…probably so he could go back to the empty mansion with Kate and play house. When we started to get into a more rural area I started to notice that everything was really familiar.

"Alright after that mansion over there take a left!" Alice said pointing to my house. Alice was staying at the hotel near us…SCORE! I couldn't believe she was that close when she was so far away. We then pulled into the parking lot of the hotel. Alice's room had a perfect view of the mansion. I looked to see a tree 30 ft across from her window…DOUBLE SCORE! Perfect spot to watch my angel sleep!

" Alice see that house over there!" I said pointing to my house.

"The multimillion dollar one?" Alice asked.

"Yeah that one…that's my parent's summer house. Feel free to stay whenever you want." I said. Then I wouldn't have to sit in a tree hehehe!

" OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS…DO YOU LIKE HAVE A MALL IN THERE…THE BAR MUST BE _HUGE!" _Alice gasped. As she ranted on about raiding my mother's closet I slipped back into the room. Sitting on her nightstand was her plane tickets. Looked like they were leaving the flight after us…well that's going to change. Hoped Emmett didn't mind taking a later flight…I know Edward wouldn't. Well if he didn't he and Kate could just fly home by themselves. I was going to have to call my travel agent.

"So Alice…you never told me…where are you going to school?" I asked. Truth was I already knew where. I may of accidentally stumbled upon it when I dug through her trash looking for college acceptance letters a little while back. Needless to say the dean was really easy to bribe when they already accepted your twin brother and you're the son of Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

"NYU…Bella's going there too…And you?" Alice asked.

"Same…looks like the four of us are all going!" I said.

"The four of us? Who else is going?" Alice asked.

"Oh Edward's going…I have no clue where Emmett's going…if he's going to college." I said. Alice looked like she was taking notes in her head. Alice gave us the name of the dorm they were staying at and asked if we were staying there too.

"Oh us too!" not yet but we will be!

"This is going to be like one big co-ed sleepover!" Alice exclaimed happily. I call dibs next to you! Once again I wont need a tree to watch my little baby sleep.

"JASPER? EARTH TO JASPER? GEEZ WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE ZONING OUT…BELLA DOES THE SAME THING!" Alice said grabbing all of her stuff.

"Sorry Allie!" I said as we walked out the door.

BPV

I woke up the next morning to find Edward sleeping with a breakfast tray in hand. Sitting on it was two bagels with steam still coming out. He looked like an angel when he slept. My heart monitor started to beep rapidly which stirred him. Damn you heart monitor…BETRAYER! Edward jumped up.

"Oh Bella your awake now…I know that you don't think that highly of me…" oh dear Edward you don't know how highly I think of you! Why do you think my heart rate sped up.

"I brought you breakfast…the hospital breakfasts aren't really that great!" Edward said.

" Thank you…I guess I owe you an apology for yesterday." I said.

"It's okay…I ran you over with my car…we're even." Edward said

"HEY EDWARD YOU HAVE A HUGE DENT IN YOUR BENTLEY FROM WHEN YOU RAN OVER PANCAKE YESTERDAY…YOUR GOING TO HAVE TO BANG THAT OUT …OH PANCAKE YOUR AWAKE!" Emmett said walking into the room. Emmett's such a jerk.

" You find it funny that I almost killed somebody…is there something wrong with you?" Edward asked. I've asked myself that about Emmett multiple times. Jasper and Alice walked in at that moment.

"Do you really have to ask that Edward?" Jasper asked.

"Your twin thing really freaks me out sometimes!" Emmett said.

"Emmett it's not a twin thing…we could hear everything down the hall." Jasper said.

"Not one for subtly are you Emmett!" Alice said.

"What's subtly?" Emmett asked.

"Never mind." Alice said. Definitely felt bad for the college he's going to. Emmett was lucky that his dad practically owned all of Forks and could bribe colleges to accept Emmett. Hell Emmett was the richest kid in school until Jasper and Edward came along. Being the only child of the very rich made Emmett the pompous ass that he is.

"So I'm going to go get some pancakes…want some pancake?" Emmett said laughing like it was the most funniest thing ever.

"What are you going to down them with…a bucket full of HGH…oh wait a minute you already shot yourself up this morning…too bad…I wanted to see you turn into the incredible hulk!" Alice laughed.

"Shut up…you could use some HGH…maybe you wouldn't look like your five years old!" Emmett said .

"HEY!" Jasper said. Emmett then left the room.

"see…see why I hate him now…no morals whatsoever…don't feel bad Allie…I love the fact your small…its so cute!" Jasper said whipped. Edward and I looked at each other and shook our heads. I couldn't imagine living with that. Alice on the other hand seemed to love the constant complements. She also seemed to love giving them.

"Oh Jazzy I know he's an airhead…I've been in school with him longer then you…you think he's bad now…you should of seen him before you guys came here. Lets just say that Emmett used to steal people's money even though he has a shit load of it, beat people up ( her eyes reverted to me…I did come home very battered a couple of times…subsequently Emmett now has a couple of charges of simple assault on his record now thanks to Charlie…I loved the fact that my dad was police chief.) put people's books on the highest possible shelf so that she couldn't reach them every day!" Alice gritted the last part. Jasper patted her back sympathetically.

"And that's not the worst of it…let's just say the reason Bella never talks to anyone…is because of EMMETT!" Alice said.

_Flashback_

_Eighth grade play. _

_I was playing Annie in the Forks Middle School adaptation of "Annie". Alice was playing the greedy head mistress. Emmett was bitter because he used to have the part of Daddy War bucks but he forgot his lines too many times during rehearsal so they made him play one of the orphans. During the intermission Alice was touching up my makeup…or what she could of my makeup. Suddenly we heard the crowd starting to roar. We poked our heads through to see what was going on. Emmett had the microphone in his hand and a big brown frizzy haired wig on his head. He started speaking in a high pitch voice like he was trying to mimic a girl._

__

"Hey everybody…look at me…I'm Bella plain Jane Swan. No wonder why I got the part of Annie. Oh Shakespeare I love you …oh Shakespeare I love you…you'll be the only man I get!" Emmett sang holding up a copy of Macbeth.

" BELLA WAIT…DON'T LISTEN TO HIM HE'S AN ASSHOLE!" Alice called running after me as I bolted through the side exit. Alice got back at Emmett though. She snuck into wardrobe and found Emmett's costume and ripped the seam out of the rear of the pants. He was in the middle of doing a dance routine when they split exposing his butt cheeks to the whole audience . Needless to say I never lived that one down.

That was the icing on the cake after a year of being called "Ugly Duckling" and "Plain Jane Bella" by Emmett. My confidence was totally destroyed.

End of flashback.

" He was such a jackass back then. I think his reality check came when you guys came along…see he was used to being the richest person in school and I guess when people came along with more money then him and were actually nice to people he felt kind of threatened. But I guess you cant take the jack out of the ass." Alice said. Edward looked shocked.

"I cant believe that he actually said that to you…like why would he be so mean to you?" Edward asked…the lock of shock still on his face.

"Ooh maybe he had a crush on you!" Jasper said.

"Trust me…Emmett didn't have a crush on me." I said.

"I think Emmett was just mad that Bella went her own way and didn't fawn over him…she wasn't a mindless pawn unlike the rest of his groupies." Alice said.

"Yeah well that's not a reason to hate someone. If anything that's more of a reason to respect them." Edward said.

"Oh common you love it when girls are all over you!" I joked.

"its actually very annoying. Honestly you and Alice are like a breath of fresh air. You don't dress the same and you know about a lot more about other things besides 17 magazine." Edward said. Alice looked honored.

"Why thank you…I always said that my fashion sense is better than everybody else's !" Alice said flipping her hair. I swore Jasper almost passed out. Edward snickered.

"Alright Bella I think you stayed here long enough in this dingy little hospital room…it's time we get you out of here!" Edward said walking out of the room.

"Agreed!" Alice said.

"I cant stand another minute in here…I swear I'm going to go crazy!" she said.

"Need something to calm you?" Jasper said taking out a bottle of southern comfort.

"But Jasper it's like 9 am!" Alice said.

"It's 5 o clock somewhere!" Jasper said.

"Okay…you convinced me!" Alice said taking the bottle. I looked out a window to see Edward slipping a nurse Italian money. Alice was already starting to get giggly.

"Bella…take a sip…trust me!" Alice said forcing the bottle in my face.

"Maybe later Alice…I'm hooked up to a machine right now!" I said shoving the bottle away.

" alright I've sprung you…their coming to let you out now!" Edward said. Alice put her head on Jasper's shoulder.

"This is so fun…why don't we all buy a place here…I want to stay in Italy for the rest of my life!" Alice slurred. Edward shot me a quizzical look. I pointed to the bottle of Alcohol sticking out of Jasper's pocket.

"Oh no…guess that means we're taking the Bentley then." Edward said.

"Where?" I asked.

"Back to my house. You don't think that I'll even let you step foot in a car with her like that…we'll just wind up back here!" Edward said.

"I want to take my Porsche and go really fast…vroom vroom!" Alice said still trashed.

"Vroom Vroom!" Jasper copied.

"No Porsche for you!" Edward said.

"Jazzy can drive!" Alice said.

"No he cant." Edward said as Jasper fell over my hospital bed. If I wasn't on pain killers I would of screamed out in pain.

"We'll text Emmett when we're half way to the house…tell him to take the Porsche…when we get back we should make them something to eat…I have a feeling they drank on an empty stomach." Edward said as the two ravenously eyed my half eaten bagel. It was then that the nurses came and unhooked me from everything. They wheeled me out to where the Bentley was waiting. The Bentley was so comfortable I felt like I was sitting on a lazy boy recliner. As we were driving along we heard a loud popping noise coming from the back.

"What is going on back there?" Edward asked. I turned to see Alice and Jasper had popped open a bottle of Champaign from the mini bar in the back.

" To Italy…our health…and NYU next year … May all four of us…the Swans…Cullens… continue the adventures at NYU BABY!" Alice toasted. She and Jasper clinked glasses.

" Your going to NYU?" Edward and I asked at the same time looking at each other.

"Jasper…your going…I thought you were going to Stanford?" Edward asked Jasper…his eyes narrowing at Alice.

"Oopsie…guess I blew that secret!" Alice said.

"I changed my mind…no big deal!" Jasper said.

"Dad already paid your tuition Jasper." Edward stated.

"Dad wont care…he'll want us closer together!" Jasper said. The look on Edward's face said otherwise.

"Dad wont care that he spent thousands of dollars in tuition money just so you could throw it away …well at least you'll be on the east coast…smart thinking putting a continent between you and dad!" Edward said.

"And we'll be in the same dorm so we can all protect each other." Alice went on. Edward turned towards Jasper.

" gee I wonder how that happened?" Edward asked giving eye contact with Jasper.

" must be one hell of a coincidence!" Jasper said looking off. It was then that we got a text message from Emmett.

"Dude where are you…I went all over the hospital looking for you. I even asked a nurse where you guys went just to find out pancake was discharged…like WTF man!" Emmett sent.

"Emmett learned how to text…oh god the apocalypse is at hand!" Jasper joked. Edward sent back " get Alice's car…you'll know it when you see it…girls are going to stay with us tonight…be on best behavior or find another place to sleep…there's a motel 8 down the road…we don't need fighting tonight…same goes for your little girlfriend Kate" I couldn't believe that he was actually willing to send Emmett to a motel over me. Was I dreaming? Edward drove to the nearest drug store and filled my prescription and then we were off. When we pulled into the mansion down the street from the hotel I wasn't shocked. This would be his house.

"nice place!" I commented.

"Thanks…its been in the family for years." Edward said. When we walked in I was taken a back. The floors were made out of the prettiest marble that I had ever seen…the banisters were made out of dark cherry wood. A grand stair case met in the middle…and there was actually an elevator off to the side.

"Since we ruined you vacation…what do you say we at least put you up for the remainder of your stay?" Edward asked me.

"Obviously she says yes…Jasper where's the bar?…I need a celebratory drink!" Alice cut me off and winked. I knew Alice had a plan in the works. She then disappeared with Jasper.

" I guess Alice just answered that question." I smiled. Edward smiled back.

" good now lets go stop those two before they drink themselves to death…or they drink themselves stupid." Edward said as we turned towards the bar. When we walked in Jasper and Alice were taking shots of Jack Daniels.

"Bella…Edward…hey want sooome?" Alice asked gesturing to the bottle.

"Alice I'm on pain meds…I cant drink!" I said

"excuses , excuses…Bella relax…take a shot!" Alice said poring Jasper a shot.

"Chug Jazzy…chug chug chug!" Alice chanted as Jasper downed the glass.

"Guys that's enough…I've already had to replace a bunch of glasses and liquor due to Emmett…I am not doing that again…put the Jack back!" Edward said annoyed.

"aww no fun!" Alice said as Jasper put everything away.

"ALRIGHT EMMETT'S ARRIVED LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED!" Emmett shouted entering the house. I cringed internally…just because Edward told him to be on his best behavior doesn't mean he'd listen.

"Ut oh Bella The Lightweight's near a bar…better clear out the toilets!" Emmett said.

"Emmett you tard…if you haven't noticed Bella doesn't have a drinkk in her handdd…and shess not trashed." Alice slurred. Edward narrowed his eyes.

"man you were serious about that?" Emmett asked.

"Alice sweet rental car!" Emmett whistled as he talked about the yellow Porsche .

"Allie…Al-Al…what do you way we blow this joint and get out of here?" Jasper slurred. Emmett tossed Edward the keys to the Porsche and he hid them and two other sets. Looked like they weren't going to be able to do that.

"Okay…Jasper I seem to have lost my keys hehe" Alice laughed falling off the bar.

"I cant find mine either…oh well looks like we're staying in tonight." Jasper slurred. They left the room soon after.

"Man when'd that party start…they reek!" Emmett said.

"in the hospital…someone slipped Jasper southern comfort…funny as how you were the only one here last night!" Edward said.

" what…he said that it was for Alice…I didn't know he'd drink it too!" Emmett said.

" Emmett…southern comfort is one of Jasper's favorites…and you know that!" Edward said.

" oops!" Emmett said. There was a loud thud upstairs.

"You think they dropped something?" Emmett gulped.

"JAZZY?…WAKE UP JAZZY! GUESS WE SHOULD HAVE HAD THAT LAST SHOT HUH!" Alice said from upstairs. Edward and I left Emmett and his girlfriend in the bar. Emmett may be on his best behavior tonight but the both of us didn't trust Kate and Emmett alone with me. As we were walking up the stairs we heard a second thud. Alice was passed out…slumped on an unconscious Jasper.

"There's a spare bedroom right next to Jasper's room…you can put Alice in there. Edward said pointing to a room down the hall as we picked our siblings up. The room was bright and airy. The furniture matched the banister and the walls matched the white on the floor…if only Alice was conscious…she would of loved this room. I tended to Alice best I could for a half hour. Edward sat in the doorway as Alice was starting to come to again , he gestured to me and we left for a second.

"Edward I'm so sorry for Alice…she knows better than that." I said.

"Its okay…Jasper wasn't too innocent either." Edward said.

"So now that we're up here…how about I give you the grand tour…obviously you already saw one of the spare bedrooms." Edward said.

"Jasper's room…don't think you want to go in there right now…he's still pretty bad…bathroom number 4, and my room…hope you don't mind sharing a room…I'll take the pull out couch in there it's just that the other spear rooms ( Emmett took the other one in the hall with Kate) are way on the other side of the house…and I don't think you want to sleep in Alice's room with her being that polluted ." Edward said. He was right about that…usually when Alice got that trashed she slept out. This was becoming a dream come true…get a hold of yourself Bella he's just trying to be nice.

" no you don't have to…I'll take the pull out…I want to." I volunteered

"no…you got bruised ribs and your going to fee it in the middle of the night…and I really don't mind." Edward said. I knew I wasn't going to win this fight. It was then that something dawned on me…my stuff was back at the hotel.

"Edward…what about my clothes?" I asked.

"You and my mom are about the same size…your welcome to her closet for tomorrow and then we can get your stuff when we drop Alice off." Edward said. The mention of clothes seemed to sober Alice up a little. She stumbled out saying "Closet?" pretty lit. we gently pushed her door shut…thank god it locked from both sides.

"God she even thinks about clothes when she's trashed." I laughed as we walked back down the hall way. It was then that we heard groaning from the bar. Oh no…not again! Edward looked at me pleadingly.

"lets go!" I said. Emmett may be a pompous ass but I was going to be the better person. We walked back into the bar to see Emmett just as bad as Jasper and Alice were. Since Edward could barely lift him we both half dragged him to the couch. We placed Kate into the chair next to him. Thank god for pain meds. We headed up into Edward's room. Next to the bed was the pull out couch some how miraculously already made. Sitting in the corner was a baby grand piano. On the opposite shelf there were like thousands of cd's and an ipod. In the stack was mostly the stuff that everyone listens to you know like Lincoln park, jay zee, Lady Gaga ( I kinda giggled at that one)…but I did catch a couple of cd's by Debussy. I looked at Edward.

"You listen to Debussy too?" I asked. It shouldn't of shocked me. This was part of the side that no one but me knew. Edward looked at me quizzically.

"and I thought I was the only one that liked classical music!" Edward laughed. Edward showed me around a little more of his house. We whipped up a dinner together and ended the night with watching "Superbad". I had to say a lot of the scenes looked vaguely familiar as I looked at an unconscious Emmett. when the movie ended Edward offered me a drink in case I wanted one but I said no. In any other case I would of taken it but tonight I wanted to say sober…mainly because 2/3 of the house were unconscious. We then climbed up into bed and had a little argument about the sleeping arrangements.

"I swear it's fine…I'll take the pull out!" I said.

"absolutely not…you're a guest in this house…you'll be taking the bed!" he said laid out in the couch/ bed in protest.

"how about a compromise…we even things out…I get the pull out every other day." I said.

"I don't know about that!" Edward said.

"Deal?" I said holding out my hand stubbornly.

"Deal." Edward gave in. I climbed into bed ready to go to sleep reminiscing about my vacation so far. I couldn't believe I was at Edward's house…my dream guy. I deeply inhaled his sent from the pillows. It smelt so sweet.

"Bella do you have allergies? I got Claritin in the medicine cabinet?" Edward asked.

"I'm fine!" I said. Sleep came really fast.

We awoke early the next morning to the sounds of groaning from Jasper's room, the guest bedroom Alice was in, and the downstairs. Edward and I groggily looked as Alice opened the door.

"Ugh what did I do last night…where the hell am I…Bella?" Alice asked confused

"Last night…try yesterday afternoon…Alice you passed out around 12 pm yesterday…got up and passed out again a couple of minutes later." I said.

"your at my house…you and Jasper chugged like an entire bottle of Jack Daniels at my bar downstairs…not to mention the southern comfort and the Champaign you drank before hand." Edward said.

"Guess I over did it a little…where's the asprin?" Alice asked. Edward pointed her to the nearest bathroom.

"Alice don't even bother putting the bottle back… Jasper, Emmett, and Kate are going to need it when your done." Edward said as Alice went into the bathroom. Alice carried the pill bottle with her downstairs as we went into the kitchen. Usually I cooked everything by my self or just with my mother…she had to teach me how to cook since Alice and my dad couldn't cook to save their lives…but I let Edward help me out. I learned last night another secret…he was a phenomenal chef…the chicken parm he whipped up last night was one of the best that I ever tasted. Alice looked shocked. When Edward left the room for a couple of minutes Alice pulled me aside.

"girl what happened last night…I want dets!" Alice demanded.

"Nothing happened Alice we just hung out…that's all!" I said.

"oh wait a minute there is one thing!" I said. Alice's eyes lit up.

"he asked me to stay here for the rest of the vacation." I said.

"What did you say…PLEASE GOD TELL ME YOU SAID YES!" Alice demanded.

"You answered." I said.

"THEN PLEASE GOD TELL ME I SAID YOU WOULD!" Alice gasped.

"we're picking up my stuff when we drop you off." I said.

"EEEE! Even when I'm trashed I still got your back!" Alice said.

"So wait a minute…what are you going to do in the mean time…for clothes?" Alice asked.

"Edward offered up his mother's closet." I said. Alice's face dropped in awe.

"take me with you…please take me with you…I cant show up at the hotel in the same out fit that I wore yesterday what will the neighbors…well in our case receptionist think!" Alice pleaded. I had a feeling that if I took her in there the Gucci incident will happen all over again.

Two hours later we were in the closet looking for clothes. Edward was sitting in the bedroom waiting for us. He okayed Alice to take a top as long as she returned it. Fat chance of that happening. She looked like she was in heaven…this was a dream of hers…being in mama Cullen's closet . Alice was going on about how she felt like she was in a designer store.

"Oh the smells designer clothes…its making me weak at the knees!" Alice said.

"Your so weird Alice!" I said. Alice then passed out into the section holding the black tie dresses…taking a couple down with her. Guess she really was weak at the knees.

"Bella?" Edward asked oddly worried. He poked his head through the door. He looked relieved when he saw Alice on the floor.

"She spends more time on the floor then she does standing up!" Edward said.

"I think Italy's overwhelmed her…well yesterday it was the bottle of Jack Daniels." I said.

"Uh you think Italy's overwhelmed her?" Edward snickered.

"Scratch that I know Italy's overwhelmed her." I said handing over my digital camera after I pulled up the shot of her bowing worshipingly in front of Dior.

"hold on…I'm gonna go get Jasper…it's been his…I mean he needs to see this." Edward said disappearing. He came back a minute later with Jasper in tow.

"What's all this…ALICE…OMG IS SHE OKAY?" Jasper gasped running for Alice.

"Allie?…Allie?…Al-Al…wake up my sleeping angel…common don't do this…Allie please wake up!" Jasper said placing her on the bed in the bedroom. He looked like she died or something.

"Al-Al please don't do this to me!" Jasper was begging. Edward and I hung in the hallway to give Jasper a little privacy. We then went to check our face books. Mine said "One new notification." I clicked on it. There was a picture of my father holding his .38 special with a message saying "Charlie "Chief" Swan has requested you as his friend…accept or ignore?" I had to accept because he would of killed me if I didn't. There was only two friends in his friends list….me and Alice. On the wall there was a wall post saying "BELLS IF YOU SEE THIS CALL HOME…I'VE BEEN TRYING THE HOTEL ALL NIGHT WITH NO ANSWER!" I couldn't believe my father made a face book with the sole purpose of tracking me down. Obviously he must of went on Alice's to accept his own friend request, she would definitely told me that dad had a face book, which meant he knew about hers as well.

"don't be embarrassed…a lot of people's parents have face book…it cant be as bad as Emmett's mom!" Edward said pulling up Emmett's mother's page. She was in a bikini tanning in her back yard…on a cloudy day. This is where Emmett's genius came from.

"Hey how'd you find that?" Emmett asked walking by us.

"It's on her face book!" Edward said annoyed.

"My mom has a face book?" Emmett asked.

"Emmett we're all friends with her…including you…you left her a wall post a half hour ago! See right there!" Edward said pointing to a wall post by Emmett…his profile pic was him kissing his muscle.

"Mommy I miss you! Tell daddy when I get back we're going to kick some ass in the gym…I miss your PB&J sandwiches…no restaurant in Milan could match your famous PB&J sandwiches! I'm going to have to eat like 20 when I get home…love Em!" Emmett's mom responded with a picture of her holding a platter full of heart shaped PB&J sandwiches with the crust cut off. "They'll be waiting for you Emmy Bear!" his mom was over tanned…beach blonde hair and too much makeup on. Emmett had one of those moms. She looked like an older version of his girlfriend…she had an apron on that said "Milf!" on it with a belly shirt underneath . Edward was right…at least Charlie wasn't that bad.

" Thanks mommy bear …I can already taste them from here…hugs and kisses!" Emmett typed over Edward's shoulders. It was then that Alice came out.

"Oh hey guys your on face book…mind if I check mine?" Alice asked.

"Alice there's something that I have to ask first…..did you know dad made a face book?" I asked.

"WHAT?" Alice gasped with genuine shock on her face. Proved my theory.

"Alice's there's something you need to know…I think dad hacked your face book last night…see I got a friend request from him this morning, I accepted it, and there was a picture of your face under "Friends"." I said.

"HE HACKED MY FACEBOOK? NO BODY HACKS ALICE SWANS FACEBOOK!" Alice said whipping out her phone.

"CHIEF SWAN…HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME…YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU DID…HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I HACKED INTO YOUR WORLD OF WAR CRAFT ACCOUNT!" Alice shouted.

" I don't play that game!" Charlie said.

"FPD 911...please I've played against you under Jasper's account… I know it's you, you left it up on the computer at home one time!" Alice said. We heard Rene in the background saying "YOU DO WHAT IN YOUR SPARE TIME CHARLIE…I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU THAT GAME WAS FOR KIDS!"

"You just had to bring world of war craft up Alice…you just had to…now that I got you on the phone though…what's going on…you guys weren't picking up any of your phones last night!" Charlie demanded.

"That's because we were IGNORING YOU BECAUSE YOU HACKED OUR FACEBOOKS!" Alice snorted and lied. I wonder how she kept him from finding out that I got hit by the car.

"Gotta go dad…I'm eating continental breakfast right now…omelet with Italian ham in it…god why do you always think I'm out some where…I do have restraint you know!" Alice said hanging up the phone.

"Alice that's genius!" I said.

"You think that's genius…you should of heard the lie I came up with for your arm…I had to call him and tell him about your arm…I mean who could miss that thing ( she pointed to my dark blue cast) …anyways…if he asks…you fell down two flights of stairs…so me being the shopping genius that I am bought a book on how to set bones and I used the tips from that to set your arm. The staff congratulated me at the hospital…offered me a position…but I declined…said I'd miss dad too much. He wanted to fly out…I had to talk him down. If he found out the truth he'd be over here in a heart beat and you know it. As far as he knows…we're staying in the hotel…well Bella he's going to know so I'm going to stay at the hotel for the rest of the trip…I don't have a problem with lying to him!" Alice said.

" okay." I said. Alice gave a knowing smile. I had a feeling that she was staying away for more then one reason.

" this place is huge…I love the color scheme …when I become rich I'm making my mansion just like this!" We could hear Alice saying a few hours later as Jasper gave her a tour. Typical Alice.

" I can actually hear an echo!" Alice said as her voice echoed down the hall.

"I think Alice wants to move in!" I joked to Edward.

"I think so too." Edward said as Alice chirped at the living room downstairs.

"I TOTALLY WANT THAT CHANDILER !" Alice was going on


	5. Emotional Blindness

**i dont own twilight S/M does. this disclaimer goes for the first chapter as well. please read and review!**

Chapter 5

BPV.

We dropped Alice off right before dinner. Alice and I went in the Porsche and Edward followed in the Bentley. We went in and I grabbed my stuff. I could see him looking out at his house from the balcony and smiling.

"Yeah so we'll meet bright and early…I want to hit up all the shops that I can…since my shopping trip got cut short by a Bentley hitting my best friend…that's okay Edward I forgive you!" Alice said. Alice was planning a huge shopping spree tomorrow…the minute Jasper heard he volunteered him and Edward to go. I was going to have to repay that man some how.

" so the guest bedroom's open." Edward said as we got into the car.

"Edward we had a deal!" I warned.

"I know…but a bed's free!" Edward said.

" Edward I don't go back on my word…we had a deal!" I said.

"Your so stubborn!" Edward gave in. a small smile appeared on his face. The minute we got back Emmett besieged Edward.

"Good your back…I'm starved…in or out tonight…Jasper and Kate are fighting about that in the living room." Emmett said. Edward told Emmett that I would be staying for the next few weeks so his warning was extended. I knew Emmett couldn't hold out that long…it'd be a few days before he slipped.

"DUDE THIS IS MY HOUSE AND I WANT TO STAY IN TONIGHT!" Jasper roared.

"YOU HAVE TO SHOW GOOD HOSPITALITY JASPER…I'M THE GUEST…WE DO WHAT I WANT TO DO!" Kate roared back.

"UGH I CANT STAND YOU!" Jasper shouted.

"FEELINGS MUTRAL!" Kate said in a bitch tone. Edward and I looked at each other.

"In" We both said at the same time.

"alright guys…Edward and Bella want to stay in tonight…so it looks like four to one…sorry Kate!" Emmett said walking into the room. I saw Kate shoot death glares…I give her only a few hours before she bursts. When we went into the kitchen I helped make the dinner. Edward protested at first but he eventually relented.

" oh look it…little miss Betty Crocker …thinks she can cook...this salad is bland!" Kate said in a bitch tone when Edward left the room for a second. Did I say few hours…I meant few minutes. I shoved her spegetti a little too hard. A meatball rolled off and fell on her white pants. Kate looked like she was about to say something but Emmett cut her off.

"Shush babe…I don't want to sleep in a motel 8...do you?…we'll talk later!" Emmett whispered. It was then that Edward walked back in which effectively silenced Kate for the rest of the dinner. When Emmett and the Regina George wanabe walked away Jasper started up.

"Ugh thank god she left. She's like bitch-zilla…"Jasper I'm the guest you have to do what I say…Jasper I want a cappochino…Jasper shine my shoes…Jasper paint my toe nails" the only person who's feet I would even touch is Alice's (he swooned when he said her name)…I'm sorry that's Emmett's job. Then she has the nerve to open her mouth to Bella tonight…I was glad that meatball fell on her pants…frankly I would of did worse…fuck her!" Jasper was ranting on.

"She said something to you?" Edward asked annoyed.

"yeah but it was nothing…I've heard worse…especially out of Emmett's mouth." I said blowing it off.

"Bella I promise…she will be spoken to…you have as much a right to be here as she does." Edward said in a final tone.

" and I will be speaking to Alice about this!" Jasper said. Knowing Alice I should expect some revenge against Kate probably in the area of her wardrobe. We could hear them whispering outside the door.

"Relax pancake's going to go down…why don't you try calling Tanya…we'll show her she doesn't belong with people like us…the only reason Edward has her here is because he feels bad he ran her over…do you really think he'd talk to her if he didn't have to make up ruining her vacation!" Emmett said. Edward and Jasper stood up at the same time.

"That's it!" They roared running out the door.

"UNTIL YOU TWO CAN RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE YOU CANT STAY HERE…I DON'T NEED YOU TWO TELLING ME WHO I CAN HAVE AND WHO I CANT IN MY HOUSE…EMMETT IS IT YOUR LAST NAME ON THE BILLS…I DON'T THINK SO…IT'S MINE AND JASPERS!" Edward roared.

" YEAH EMMETT THIS ISN'T YOUR HOUSE…WE'VE ASKED YOU REPEATEDLY NOT TO BE RUDE BUT I GUESS THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU…YOU SAY YOU WONDER WHY SHE HATES YOU…HOW ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU SAY " PANCAKE'S GOING DOWN" AND YOU CALL HER ALL THESE NAMES!" Jasper said.

"and you have the nerve to say that your going to call my ex-girlfriend just to get her out of the house…what is wrong with you?…what is your problem with her? I want to know what she did to you to make you act this way…like a crazy freak" Edward hissed.

"She's a weirdo…she's not normal Edward…she's not like me and you…she's not like Kate either!" Emmett said.

"Oh so your saying that she's not normal because she's not rich…and she's not a bitch?" Edward snarled.

"You know that's not what I mean Edward." Emmett said

"Then what do you mean Emmett…is it because she can actually have an intelligent conversation with someone that doesn't end with something like "Your so hot" ? or is it because your too stupid to understand what she says?" Edward said.

" I think it's the second part but I could be wrong!" Jasper said.

" What about the thing's she's done to me?" Emmett asked.

"She doesn't do anything to you…she fight's back AFTER you say something stupid…a normal response…I know…I witnessed a bunch of the events!" Jasper said.

"No I havent!" Emmett said.

"You want me to call Alice to testify…Emmett at that last party you were bragging about how you shoved "Bella The Lightweight" down the stairs for no apparent reason…how do you think Alice and I found her… and the day before the last day of school…you tepeed her house…I was in the tree that you threw toilet paper at watcing Alice sleep…I saw you running away…not to mention you WROTE YOUR NAME IN CHALK IN THE CHIEF'S DRIVE WAY WITH A MESSAGE SAYING " SHAKESPEARS LOVER LIVE'S HERE!" …IT TOOK ME AND THE CHIEF THREE HOURS TO CLEAN UP…I HAD TO TELL HIM I WAS IN THE AREA AND SAW WHAT HAPPENED…YOU ALMOST GOT ME BUSTED FOR WATCHING ALICE…WHY DO YOU THINK SHE ALMOST HIT YOU IN THE FACE AT SCHOOL THAT DAY!" Jasper said. I had to say I wasn't shocked. I knew for a while that Jasper stalked Alice.

"You know what Jasper …your just as much a freak as she is…sitting in people's trees!" Emmett said.

"YEAH FREAK AND DAMN PROUD OF IT…BUT AT LEAST I DON'T FEEL THE URGE TO SHOOT MYSELF UP WITH STEROIDS…I'M NOT GOING TO LOOK LIKE A MONSTER WHEN I'M OLDER!" Jasper roared

"You know what Jasper…you know who the true freak is?…Emmett…he like's his girls plastic…he likes them dumb…hell if he could he'd get with a Barbie doll…he likes to feel like the cats meow…if someone doesn't bow cow to him he gets all out of wack…I don't know Jasper that kind of sounds like a freak to me!" Edward said. Next thing I knew I heard the sound of luggage hitting the floor.

"Bye…don't let the bed bugs bite…I hear they have a lot of them in that motel!" Jasper said. They both walked in beaming…not odd for Jasper but very odd for Edward. I mean he just kicked his best friend out.

"Well I'm off to stalk Alice now…sweet dreams!" Jasper said grabbing a cappichino and an army back pack before he headed out the door.

" there goes the love slave!" Edward said looking as Jasper passed the window of the kitchen.

"Hey that's what I call him too!" I joked. Edward looked at me.

"Well when you catch Jasper looking in through the windows of your house…you put two and two togther very easily…he's actually said good night to me a couple of times though the window when Alice wasn't around." I said. Edward laughed.

"There's something you need to see then." Edward said bringing me upstairs. He opened the door to Jasper's room. There was a map…Alice's face in the background of the continents. I noticed pegs sticking out of New York, Japan, and France. Italy was circled in bright red marker…with a gold star over Milan. He really did know Alice well. His computer had Alice's phone locked to Munic Germany…I only knew because Alice told me the night I was run over that she scrambled the signal because of that dream she had.

"Can you please explain how Alice doesn't know Jasper's feelings towards her?" Edward asked me.

"Alice thinks their just friendly acts…and she doesn't know he stalks her…though I agree with you …she seems really blind to it." I said.

" well do you think the feelings are mutual…or is my brother going to get his heartbroken?" Edward asked.

"Well Alice is kind of hard to read because she does have abandonment issues…after all she was adopted…but if she does go out with anyone it would probably be Jasper." I said. Edward had a small smile on his face. We stared up at the Alice map together.

"So where in the world have you been?" Edward asked gesturing to the map.

"Oh this is only the third country I've been in." I said.

"Third?" Edward asked.

"Family trip to Canada for Christmas couple years back…right before you guys moved here…Alice was pissed about missing a kegger that one of her classmates in textiles was having…and France to adopt Alice." I said.

"Alice is French?" Edward asked. I wasn't shocked that Alice didn't tell Edward directly. I was shocked that Alice didn't tell Jasper because if Jasper had known then he would of told Edward…especially when he was salivating over her.

"We got Alice from a French orphanage when we were both very young…apparently some one found her wandering the streets outside Gucci Paris when she was two. It was suspected that her parents let her go because they were in so much debt…they were shoppaholics…apparently it's a gene in her biological family…they were charged with child neglect…and released on parole last year. After that we don't know anything." I said.

"Why didn't Alice say anything?" Edward asked.

"Alice desn't really like to talk about that part of her life…she says that her parent's are the people that raised her…not the people who left her on the streets." I said. Edward gave an understanding look.

"you?" I asked.

"swiss alps last winter…but you already know about that, here a couple of weeks every summer and that's it...unless you count moving from Seattle (That's where they originally were from)." Edward answered truthfully.

"Swiss alps sounds nice!" I said.

"Yeah the skiing was awesome…Jasper missed his Al-Al though he skied to keep his mind off of her a lot…which meant he did a lot of night sking." Edward said.

"Yeah …Alice racked up an $500 dollar cellphone bill because he texted her from a couple of peaks…my parents grounded her for a week and took her phone away for a month." I said.

"Yeah I heard about that…Jasper was never so glad for face book in his entire life." Edward said. It was then that we decided to go to bed. After getting ready in the bathroom I beat Edward to the pull out before he could protest again . He eyed me out wearily and then collapsed into the bed.

"I truly am sorry about that thing with Emmett you know." Edward said as he turned off the light.

"Don't be…its not your fault." I responded. He couldn't help that Emmett was an obnoxious ass. I thought I heard a light sniffing sound but I guessed I imagined it.

"you want to know the truth of why I chose to stay in here?" I asked. Well at least one of the reasons why?

"Sure." Edward said.

"I cant sleep alone…I don't like it I'm terrified of the dark." I said.

"I understand." Edward responded. I could hear the warmth in his voice. I soon went into dreamland. I was dreaming about walking in the forests of home while holding Edward's hand. Dream Edward was a really skilled hiker…though I wouldn't doubt it if the real one was too. We waived on as Dream Jasper climbed his faithful tree to stalk Alice (we were in the forests of my back yard) We walked off into the lush green forest holding hands as the sun set. His eyes smoldered in the dusk. He turned to me as if we were about to make out…and then said "Bella wake up." in his soft velvet voice. I opened my eyes to see the real Edward flashing my favorite crooked smile at me

"What?" I asked. I thought I drooled on myself or something.

"I did you know you talk in your sleep?" Edward responded. OH FUCK…WHAT DID I SAY LAST NIGHT?

"Um I've been told I did by Alice a couple of time…what did I say?" I asked.

"Mostly about missing home…something about the lush greeness of Forks…stuff like that." Edward answered.

EPV

I couldn't tell her that she talked about me. I didn't have the heart to. She was really interesting when she talked in her sleep…it kept me up for hours listening to her. She really did miss home and her parents…she talked about them too. Some of my other girlfriends had dreams about me… but theirs was only about sex…as they made it blatently obvious…I don't know maybe they weren't sleeping. From the way she talked I could tell she had feelings for me…but they were genuine. She said my name with happiness and I swore she smiled when she said it. She seemed content to talk to dream me…like she had been doing it for a while. I'm going to have to talk to tree boy…he lied…he said Alice was the only one that talks!

We made our way down the stairs to find Alice already at the front door…the credit cards already out in her hand. She had her MasterCard, discover, and visa already in her hand with a big smile on her face.

"Where's Jasper?" Alice asked. Bella and I looked at each other like "Oh shit what do we say?". Just then Jasper sprung down the stairs wearing the exact same clothes he did yesterday…this was not going to go well.

"Jazz didn't you wear that yesterday?" Alice asked. Alice would notice.

"yeah but I just love yo-it so much!" Jasper said.

"Edward!" Bella whispered.

"What?" I asked.

"The back of his head!" Bella grunted pointing to the back of his head. There was practicallt a branch caught in his hair. I grabbed it and hid it behind my back. He was my brother. I was surprised that Bella didn't tell her dear sister…but then again she probably wanted Alice to have one surprise in her life. I knew Alice was in love with Jasper…the weird part was she just didn't know it yet. Otherwise how could she be so blind to Jasper's attempts…I mean Bella even had the same nick name for him I did! Jasper held the back seat door of the Bentley open for her.

"want to get in first Allie?" Jasper asked. I kind of felt uncomfortable. I mean I wasn't going to do that for Bella because she seemed like the kind of person that didn't like that stuff but I guess I'll do it anyways to show that I tried. I reached for the door but she beat me to it and opened it wide.

"Wanna get in Eddie?" She said jokingly winking at Jasper. I snickered. This girl was too smart for her own good…she must of known I felt awkward. Thankfully Alice didn't hear…she was too busy stareing at the Chanel catalog.

"Ooh I want to get this purse…but is it really worth paying it off for the rest of my life…I mean its like $1,000." Alice was saying staring at the catalog.

"I'll get it for you Al-Al!" Jasper said. Bella rolled her eyes. Love slave…would go into debt to please his Al-Al.

"The wet bar is off limits until we're safely on our way home!" I said as we got into the car.


	6. Alice's mom

**i dont own twilight S/M does. this disclaimer goes for the first chapter as well. please read and review!**

Chapter 6

BPV

As we were walking the streets of Milan we saw Emmett and Kate. They were buying a boat load of Bug repelent. Alice looked confused.

"I thought they were staying with you guys?" Alice asked.

"Not quite." Edward said. Jasper smiled with the memories of last night.

"Lets just say that Emmett and his kiniving bitch girlfriend conspired to kick Bella out of the house…after Kate dissed her cooking…but don't worry we took care of business." Edward said looking at me and smiling.

"oh my god Bella's like the best cook ever…where are they staying?" Alice asked pissed.

"Motel 8" Edward responded.

"I'll find out what room." Alice said. I could only imagine what she would do when she did.

" Bella get pictures!" Alice said once we reached Chanel. I snapped the first one of Alice alone…that would be the one we show our parents. The second one I got was of her and Jasper…I had a funny feeling that one would wind up on his face book.

"LAST ONE IN THERE'S A ROTTEN EGG!" Alice said as she and Jasper ran into Channel. Edward and I just looked at each other and walked in behind them. Alice took off as if she was in a candy store and Jasper dutify followed her.

"And that's why I got hit by your car!" I said as Alice bounced around the store screaming "Channel!"

" how could you deal with that alone?' Edward asked.

"I didn't…see Jasper over there…that was me." I said as we saw Jasper following her with 25 pocket books in his hand. The only difference was Jasper was smiling…I probably had a frown on my face.

"Most people dream about getting massages on a Hawiian beach…this is Alice's dream vacation." I said. It was then that we heard "MARY?" I turned to see the older version of Alice looking at Alice.

"Used to be…who wants to know?" Alice asked.

"Its your mama sweetheart!" the woman said. I froze…I thought Alice's biological parents only spoke French?

" I know you anywhere…you have my eye…I see it everyday when I put mascara on in the mirror!" the woman said

"Sorry…I don't remember you." Alice said.

"Oh that's understandable…we haven't seen each other in years!" The woman said.

"Firstly I thought you only spoke French…secondly how can you call yourself my mom when you left me cold on the streets with no clothes, no money to shop for clothes, and a note saying "sorry in too much debt to take care of this child…cant deal with her anymore." when I was only two years old!" Alice said.

"Oh I learned English in Prison…I was eventually going to come back for you …I got in contact with your little sister last year…she wants to meet you so bad!" the woman said

"SISTER!" Jasper and Alice both chocked.

"When were you going to come back…I spent three god damn years in an orphanage…and then then I was adopted out. You didn't even know…or care…where I was!" Alice said offended.

" honey we couldn't afford it…we spent every last cent in Chanel buying clothes. We couldn't give you a good life!" The woman pleaded.

" you know damn well you could of declared bankrupsy…and what were you doing in Channel…you had a child…like really…your that selfish!" Alice said.

"Some of those clothes were for you!" The woman pleaded.

"Please we all know that Chanel does not sell baby clothes!" Alice snorted.

" They were for when you were older!" The woman said.

"They'd be so out of style then...please…tell it to the judge…oh wait…you already did…he didn't believe that crock of shit either!" Alice said

"So unless you want to bring my "little sister" to America…don't talk to me anymore…I'm happy…I have a new family…a real family and I'm doing well!" Alice said turning her back.

Common guys…I'm not seeing anything!" Alice said walking out the door. Jasper put everything down and followed her. Edward and I hightailed it out of there.

"of all the nerve…walking up to me while shopping…I don't feel bad at all…they need to deal with the reprocussions of their decision to abandon their baby daughter!" Alice snorted

" you said it little lady…frankly I think you handled yourself well…that woman doesn't deserve niceness!" Jasper said.

"I just cant believe they had another one…like really…they couldn't afford me but they had a second child!" Alice said disgusted.

"I feel so sorry for that kid though…who knows what happened to her because of their actions…it's disgusting!" Alice was ranting on.

"You know…I'm in desperate need for a gelato…who's with me?" Alice asked. Of course Jasper agreed.

"Me! I want some!" Jasper said

"Um Alice…I think Bella and I are going to sit this out…you might run into your father in the gelato line or something…don't worry…we wont buy anything…or at least we'll send you a picture of it." Edward said grabbing my hand. A pulse of electricity went through us.

"oh go right ahead…I have Jazzy here…he'll protect me!" Alice said. Jasper saluted and they ran down the street together. Edward and I turned and walked in the other direction. We passed a bunch of small stores

" Not a big fan of shopping?" Edward asked.

"No that's Alice's thing…I tag along to control her spending…so I know how Jasper feels being her slave…well to an extent anyways." I said.

"you know your very unusual there…most girls I know love shopping…it's actually a relief not to say " I like the blue one!" all day long." Edward said.

"Really I thought you like girls like that? That's who you always hung around with at school!" I said

"Well when I first moved that was the group of people that accepted me and wanted to become my friend so that's why I hung out with them…I went with the flow and stayed friends with them. I started to distance myself at the end of this year because I really didn't like who they were but I stayed friends with them because no one likes to be a loner." Edward said.

"You know there's plenty of people that would want to be friends with you." I said.

" I know but once you become friends with people like Emmett…they're hard to gravitate away from no matter how hard you try. I tired putting two continents between me and Emmett and that didn't even work!" Edward snickered on the last part. I looked at him and smiled.

"so I wonder what he's going to do next year….you being like 3,000 miles away…this should be interesting!" I said.

"yes it will." Edward said. I held Edward's hand as we walked down the street into the sunshine.

"so tell me about the real you." I said.

"the real me?" Edward asked.

" you know…hopes, desires, dreams, talents ect." I said.

"Oh well you already know I got into NYU. I was hoping to get into the premed program and then go to medical school from there. Desire well there's a lot of things I desire…" Edward blushed. OMG…am I seeing things right…Edward blushed. I'm going to have to get it out of him another time.

"my dream I know it will sound old fashion but…it's really the American dream…the white picket fence, the 2.5 kids, and the dog named Spot. For the talents…well you saw the piano in my room so I guess you can figure out what that talent is." Edward asked.

" now it's your turn to answer the questions." Edward continued on.

" Well my dream is to become author which is also my hope. My talent is my writing." and my desire is you! I thought the last part.

"author…any particular genre?" Edward asked.

" well I always held an intrest towards fantasy. Non fiction's so blah…and fiction delves into so many different genres. I also like to write about romance…poetry can be fun too." I said.

"So your pretty well rounded." Edward smiled.

" you could say that." I responded.

" you know you really arent like most girls…when they find out I play piano they immediately ask me to write a song about them. Some even go as far as to request that I write 9 pages about how their beautiful bleach blonde hair glissens in the sunlight. The first few times is kind of cute but after a while it gets annoying." Edward said.

"People really do that…do girls know what the meaning of pathetic is anymore?" I asked.. Edward flashed his crooked smile…my favorite.

" I guess not…well the concept does get through to some at least." Edward said looking at me. I could see that Alice was right. He was a lot like his brother. It was then that we went into a little café. We got two cappichinos and sat down. We spent the next hour talking about our pasts and such. Some of the stories about his exploits in Seattle sounded really interesting.

"so why did you guys move to Forks then…Seattle sounds really interesting?" I asked.

"Mom wanted a quieter life…cant say I blame her…the constant police sirens made it hard to sleep at night." Edward said.

"aw really!" I said. We then finished the cappichinos. I noticed Edward stareing at me weirdly.

"What?" I asked.

"You got a little foam…" Edward said pointing to my upper lip. Ugh how embarrassing! I wiped it off immediately. Oh well it could be worse. I laughed a little as I took it off. Edward developed a small smile. I felt like I was in one of my day dreams…a never ending one. It was then that Jasper and Alice entered the café looking for us.

"Oh there you guys were…we've been like all over the city looking for you two!" Alice stormed right on over. Curiosity glinted in her eye. Next time I was alone at her she was going to shoot like 1,000,000 questions at me.

"having fun?" Alice asked. She couldn't resist.

" lots!" I said . Edward looked down at me and beamed.

"Good…now lets go…there's a sale at Fendi and I'm not going to miss out on this. I have my eye on a little blue bag that would go great with the outfit that I want to wear on my first day of school!" Alice said charging out of the café . The love slave ran out after her. Edward and I looked at each other and followed.

"What do you say we hang back a minute…give those two a headstart." I said. We dropped back a couple of people. Edward grabbed my hand…luckily the one next to him was the non broken one. Electricity pulsated through us.

Jasper and Alice attacked the wet bar on the way home. They got pretty lit but luckily they weren't as bad as the last time and we were able to stop them from hitting up the other bar once we got back. Edward and I made dinner for the four of us which sobered the other two up a little.

"Yum…Quesidias!" Alice said launching herself at the food.

"That's my Al-Al such a vivacious person!" Jasper said lining up behind her.

"Jasper…on the way home can we make a little stop first…there's something that I need to do?" Alice asked as she was getting ready to leave. Jasper had volunteered to drive with her back to the hotel…his excuse was to make sure she got in okay. He probably just wanted to get there faster to spy on her.

"sure…where?" Jasper asked.

"I'll explain on the way!" Alice said heading out the door. It was then that Edward and I went upstairs to bed. There was little arguing about the sleeping arangements this time. We both seemed to accept the terms of the deal. Walking back into the room I could hear the sounds of a familiar tune. It was the same song Edward had played the last night I watched him through the peep hole . I sat in the doorway and watched him play until he realized that I was there. He really did have great talent.

"Your so lucky to have that talent you know." I sighed as I climbed into bed. Edward just looked at me.

"How much of that did you hear?" he asked me quizzically.

"oh just the end." this time I thought.

"did you write that yourself?" I asked though I already knew the answer.

" yeah…it's my work in progress." Edward answered. So there was going to be more!

"Sounds pretty!" I said.

"Thanks!" Edward said.

"goodnight!" We said to each other as the lights went out. That night I dreamed of him again. His smoldering green eyes as we walked the streets of Milan…if didn't know any better I would of swore that this was real. We stopped at a little Italian resturant and had dinner…then it switched to the same dream that I had the night before…the forests of home enveloped us that song playing in the distance. I didn't know which dream I liked better.

I awoke early the next morning to find an omelet and orange juice sitting in the night stand next to me. Edward was sitting on the pullout already eating his own. I took a bite. It tasted divine…was there anything this kid couldn't do?

" This is amazing…you didn't have to do this you know!" I said digging in.

"I wanted to." Edward said.

"ANYONE HOME?" Alice called from down stairs. There was a thud from Jasper's bedroom…guessing he got in late last night. Edward and I took out plates and went downstairs. Jasper dragged himself down after us. He probably wasn't going to spy on Alice tonight.

"Alice why do you smell like a bon fire?" I asked.

"Turn the news on!" was all Alice answered. When we did images of a burned down motel 8 appeared on the screen. Emmett and Kate…apparently the only occupants stood looking on in shock. Black soot was all over them.

"Don't ya love blowtorches!" Alice said.

"You did that?" Edward and I turned towards her.

"Alice you said that you were going to do a harmless prank…I thought you were gonna burn their clothes!" Jasper gasped.

"I did burn their clothes!" Alice countered.

"And the entire hotel…you put their lives in danger! Alice you know you shouldn't of done that." I said. Edward nodded in agreement.

" or you should of at least done it out side!" Jasper said

"All I did was try to burn their clothes…I didn't anticipate the entire motel to burn down…I thought that they would be smart enough to wake up and put it out…serves them right anyways…they tried to kick Bella out!" Alice said

" Alice you thought that EMMETT AND KATE would actually be smart enough to put a fire out?" Edward asked.

"well I thought that the motel would at least have sprinklers!" Alice said. Just then the doorbell rang. Emmett stood with Kate actually shaken.

"Man I don't know what happened…we just woke up and the entire place was in flames…we have no clothes, no place to stay…not even water for a shower…I don't know what we're gonna do!" Emmett was actually crying. Wanting to be the better person I whispered in Edward's ear to let them stay. After all that's what I would want if it happened to me.

"You can stay but with conditions…If I catch you mocking anybody in this house you'll be out…touching anybody and your dead…got it." Edward gripped my hand as he said this. Emmett and Kate walked in. Alice pretended to gag from behind Emmett's back …pointed at him and made a scissor gesture. Guess if anything happened to me Emmett could kiss his wardrobe goodbye again as well as his life.

"Your sure about this?' Edward whispered when Emmett and Kate went into the shower.

"yes…they have no place or anything right now. Would we be any better then them if we abandoned them in their time of need." I whispered back.

"And they just keep coming back!" Jasper groaned.

"Bathroom's free!" Emmett said walking down the stairs in Edward's dad's clothes. Emmett had to cut the sleeves off to get the shirt to fit and he looked like he was going to bust out of the pants. Kate followed wearing his mothers.

"Alright who's up for some shopping?" Kate asked. For the first time in her life Alice looked like she'd volunteer to stay home.

"Alice we all know you like shopping!" She said glaring at Alice.

"Actually Kate…I think you should just take Emmett…Alice and I were going to go on a nature walk today and I know my brother and Bella were planning hang out together today…so sorry!" Jasper said. I gave Jasper a thankful glare.

"Nature walk?" Edward asked when they left.

"what I had to come up with something….honestly do you want Bella in a dressing room with bitch-zilla…please we all see that she doesn't have any confidence in herself as it is…Kate will sniff that out…you know she gets her jollies off of pointing out other peoples insecurities!" Jasper exclaimed.

"THANKYOU…SOMEONE ELSE FINALLY NOTICED …SEE BELLA YOU ONLY SEE YOURSELF AS UGLY WHEN IN ALL ACTUALITY YOUR REALLY HOT!" Alice exclaimed. Edward nodded in agreement. Alice really needed to shut up right now…wait a minute did Edward just agree to that statement…hallelujah my life is complete!


	7. The fairy godparents

**i dont own twilight S/M does. this disclaimer goes for the first chapter as well. please read and review!**

Chapter 7

BPV

Jasper and Alice decided to make their lie a truth a little while later so they left for the hotel. When they came back they were both wearing cameo …Jasper in green and Alice in pink. Alice must of picked out both outfits. Jasper looked like he was on cloud nine as he left. Wouldn't doubt if he framed that outfit. We looked on as they walked into the woods together.

"So Emmett and Kate are going to be gone till late, Jasper's off on his little hike with Alice…what do you want to do?" I asked Edward.

" well I kind of don't want to go into the city today because I don't want to risk running into Emmett and Kate…why don't we just stay here and go swimming in my pool?" Edward asked.

"Okay!" I said. We walked upstairs and changed into our bathing suits. Alice being Alice packed all bikinis. I chose a dark blue polka dotted one and went into the bathroom to change. When I walked back I was awestruck. I love reality. In this case it was better then my dreams. Edward was sitting on his bed in his bathing suit…his washboard abs exposed to the world. I added the last tape bondage to my bagged arm before making my presence known. I didn't want to disturb him…he looked so…happy? I was probably just reading too much into it.

"Ready?" he asked tossing a towel at me. We then headed downstairs together. His pool wasn't a pool…it was practically a man made lake with waterfalls coming out of it. Behind one of the waterfalls was a huge cave with a Jacuzzi in it. a doorframe marked the change from indoors to outside. I stared shocked.

"This is your pool?" I gasped.

"I know it's not much…the one at home's more impressive." Edward said. More impressive…how could it be more impressive then that?…that made a Olympic sized swimming pool look like a baby pool! It was then that we jumped in. We swam around for like a half hour. We got out for a little bit, laid out and got some sun. The way his wet hair went made him if possible look even more amazing.

"Bella can I ask you something?" Edward asked.

"sure anything!" I said. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Alice shouting in the distance.

"OMG IS THAT YOUR POOL…ITS AMAZING!" we looked on as two figures darted up the back lawn. Even from a distance I saw Alice's eyes dart in our direction.

After a little while Edward and I decided to head back into the water. Watching his hair glisten in the light was like one of my day dreams…only better. Alright there must be a god if he allowed someone like this into my life…even through running me over. We looked on as the other two scowered the rocks to get into the Jacuzzi. Had to hand it to him…Jasper's obsession with Alice made him have really great climbing skills…between the two of them they looked like they could be a two person mountain hiking team. Edward then splashed me in the face which started a half hour splashing fight.

"Alright alright you win!" I laughed as a fresh wave of water hit me in the face. Edward cleared a piece of my hair from my face.

"We'll call it a draw!" he said.

"are you hungry?" Edward asked as my stomach growled. How embarrassing!

"Guess that answer's my question!" Edward said as we were getting out of the pool . I saw two sets of eyes stare following us.

JPV

" Alice I know you've been lying to me…tell the truth…I'm not stupid you know!" I said.

"Whatever are you talking about Jazzy!" Alice said too innocently.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about Alice!" I said.

"no I don't I swear!" Alice lied some more.

" Whatever I'll get it out of Bella then!" I said.

"Good luck with that…you have a better chance of hell freezing over before she'd ever admit something like that!" Alice countered.

"We'll see I have a way of persuading people to open up about their deepest darkest secret…Miss. I still have a secret stash of Barbie dolls under my bed that I play with every night!" I said getting out of the tub.

"Wait…please don't tell anybody about that!" Alice called after me. I sat outside the kitchen and watched them interact. Yes they definitely like each other…they're giving each other the look. I know the look…I always give Alice that look when she's not looking at me. I envied my brother right now…maybe I could run Alice over at some point…have to be unexpected though. I could see why Alice didn't say anything…my Allie is so loyal to her friends and family! I smiled to myself.

"HEY JASPER!" Alice called boisterously walking over to me.

"ALICE SHUT UP!" I gasped. Bella and Edward turned and looked in our direction…but not before we could hide. I placed my hand over her mouth.

"you just blew my spot…it's called espionage for a reason Alice!" I whispered.

"Ooh we're spying…I could totally use some popcorn right now!" Alice said.

"So your telling me that she doesn't like him like that!" I said pointing to Bella who was ogling Edward with a dream like gaze in her eyes.

"Uh um…she only thinks of him as a friend?" Alice tried to lie. It didn't work.

"Alice do you look at your friends like that…do you look at me like that?" I asked the second part hopeful.

"No!" Alice said. Damn it! How can she not see that we're meant to be!

"Alice admit it…you know something…spill the beans little pixie!" I demanded. She needed to talk and now.

"Bella will kill me if she knew I let the cat out of the bag!" Alice whined.

"Alice…I think the cat's been roaming free for a long time…now talk…tell me what you know!" I said.

"alright alright…you cant say anything to anyone you know…I've known for a while…Bella's in love with Edward…she has been ever since she first saw him…it's actually been quite sickening hearing her talk about it day in and day out. But I swear to god Jasper if you say anything to either one of them about this I'll kill you! I don't need my sister hating me!" Alice said.

"why didn't you guys say anything?" I asked slightly shocked that it was this deep ,but I knew there was something there all along with her.

"Uh your forgetting about dumbass…you know that if he had this information he'd run with it!" Alice said pointing at the room he was staying in with Kate. Friggen Emmett…ruins everything!

" well this means one thing Alice…we have to get them together!" I said.

"ooh a man after my own heart…you like to play matchmaker too!" Alice squealed. Not really but if this gets me closer to Alice!

"I'll talk to her, you talk to him and then we switch later on for the night?" I said.

"Good luck…I've tried…she think's Edward's way too good for her…she said that Edward would never look at her in her wildest dreams." Alice said.

"I don't know why she thinks that way…Edward hasn't said too much about her but I can definitely tell there's something there. He's never took this much time having an in depth conversation with a girl…they spent every second together on this vacation. There's definitely a connection there. In all honesty I think that Edward thinks that she wouldn't look at him…cuz she stereotyped him with his friends…Emmett, Kate, Tanya and all them." I said.

"well you cant blame her…they're not the nicest people." Alice said.

"True…completely understandable!" I said. In all honesty if I wasn't Edward's brother and I saw him hanging around with jackass all day long I'd probably think the same thing.

"and it didn't help when the toilet bowl thing happened." Alice said.

"Hey that was all Emmett…Edward didn't even say anything…Emmett was actually behind Edward and he's the one who was yelling all that stuff about Bella puking in the toilet…not to mention he's the one who gave her everclear and told her it was regular vodka." I said.

"HE TOLD HER WHAT? HE TOLD HER THAT? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!" Alice snarled.

"If I had known…if I had any clue…I would of got him back so good…asshole!" Alice continued her rant.

"Well that changes a lot…I'm gonna have to talk to Bella about that!" Alice said.

"Ooh this is so exciting….you know he's her dream boy right….my sister landing her dream guy…on MY dream vacation…this is so perfect…it was like that Bentley was cupid's arrow only a little bigger and more painful!" Alice giggled.

"Sounds like god has good taste in arrows!" I laughed.

" definitely…sending a girl a 911 turbo Porsche on her vacation…gods got excellent taste in cars!" Alice said

"now back to business…what's the cover story for tonight?" Alice asked.

"You spotted an Italian restaurant down the road that you really wanted to try and then we're going shopping…something about you seeing a Fendi bag that you really wanted. On the side of the house there's a lattice that you can climb very easily…I used to do it when I was younger…and then I'll give you instructions from there!" Jasper said

"Ooh I love it…I always wanted to be a fairy godmother. I used to be that every year for Halloween only I added a little more pizzazz to the costume!" Alice said. I could only imagine what she did.

"What time?" Alice asked.

"We'll leave at six…we'll break back in at 6:05 …I already know where I'm gonna hide the car!" I said.

"Ooh love it!" Alice said.

"look they're separating now…divide and conquer!" I said as Edward went into his bedroom and Bella still sat in the kitchen. Alice took off like a rocket. I swore she actually flew.

"EDWARD WAIT UP I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT COLLEGE!" Alice called. Edward looked quizzically.

"I don't think you can paint the dorm rooms Alice!" Edward said.

"Its not about that…just come with me…I'll explain while we walk!" Alice said dragging Edward out of the house.

BPV.

I was sitting in the kitchen eating the mushroom ravioli that Edward cooked me when Jasper came walking in. He sat down in front of me , grabbed an apple, took a bite out of it, and said "I know you like him!" like he was talking about the weather

"How did you…?" I started to ask. I could only picture Alice slipping while sipping on her frappachino or something like that.

"Bella I am the founder, president, and CEO of the Alice Swan fan club …I think I can recognize certain things …like I know the look you give him…I do the same thing!" Jasper said.

"Yeah but I don't think he's into me like that." I sighed.

"Bella there are some things you need to know. A. you're the first person he's cooked for outside family, Emmett and Kate…and you're the first person even out of that list that he's let even near kitchen appliances, B. he's spent the most time with you then any other girl I know…including his girlfriends, C. I'm his twin brother and I just know these things. You've definitely got that messed up. You shouldn't put yourself down…your actually the prettiest out of all his love interests I think…especially on the inside …but on the outside too!" Jasper said. Was Jasper saying there was hope?

" Bella…I know what it's like. I'm in a similar situation with Alice and frankly if I knew how Alice felt about me…I would make a move." Jasper said.

EPV

"Edward cut the shit…I know Bella likes you, I know YOU know Bella likes you…so the big question is do you like Bella?" Alice demanded. Geez talk about being blatant. This little pixie was crazy!

"Sounds familiar…like a situation that two people that I know very well are going through right now!" I said.

"I don't know what your talking about!" Alice deflected.

"Sure…sure you don't Alice!" I said.

"Whatever…back to you and Bella!" Alice said

"What about me and Bella?" I asked.

"are we going to start this all over again…DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT HAVE FEELINGS FOR MY SISTER? I THINK I HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW IF I'M GOING TO BE COUNSULING MY SISTER THROUGH A BROKEN HEART!" Alice snarled

"Me what about you…you think Jasper wants to be around you for your fashion sense?" I said.

"Yes he does…Jazzy loves my fashion sense!" Alice said.

"Alice your honestly telling me you believe that?" I countered.

"Yes!" Alice said. This girl was really in denial.

"stop diverting…your not answering MY questions!" Alice said.

"Why would I tell you…you're her sister!" I said.

"exactly I'm her sister…I could help…I have insights even you don't have!" Alice said

"What if I told you that I'm gonna make my move soon… I'm trying to be careful though because I never been with a girl like Bella before." I said.

"Ooh…well let me give you some pieces of advice Edward!" Alice exclaimed.

"don't worry I'm not gonna say a thing! First of as you said Bella is not the type of girl you usually go out with…bragging about your money…I.e. how many cars you have….houses you own will make Bella run away…screaming. Secondly she's very clumsy so always be ready to catch her…by the way she's very accident prone too…which is why Charlie believed she fell down the stairs. Thirdly don't bring up Emmett…at all. Fourthly she's a real romantic at heart so if you really want to take her breath away be very old fashioned." Alice said. I could do all that with ease.

"and finally don't break her heart because I'll break your face…you can ask Emmett…my father enrolled me in many self defense classes as a kid…he taught me how to kick ass…Bella felt more bad about hitting people…me I felt it a great stress release." Alice said. Oh so that's what happened to Emmett…I knew he was lying about that bar fight.

"got it!" I said looking at Alice wearily.

"Good!" Alice said nodding her head.

"Now I gotta go find Jazzy…he promised to take me shopping tonight!" Alice said making for the door. I burst out laughing.

"shut up!" Alice said.

"Jazz Jazz I saw this bag in Fendi…brown patterned design…absolutely stunning…I want it!" Alice called running away. Alice was nuts! It was then that I went to the task that I had formulated in my mind. I grabbed my keys and headed out the door.

APV.

What to do what to do. If this was going to happen tonight I was going to need a shit load of makeup and like now. Too bad my makeup was at the hotel. I mean I already packed Bella the perfect cocktail dress for the occasion but like an idiot I didn't think to bring my kit over today. It was then that the door to the master bedroom opened up…a light shining on a vanity. It was like god smiling. Hello momma Cullen's makeup stand! An evil grin grew on my face. I immediately started my preparations.

"BELLA GET OVER HERE!" I called. Bella trudged up the stairs followed by Jasper. He locked the door behind him. I love that man! I then started the attack.

"Alice have you lost your mind?" Bella asked me.

"No…I have good reason to do this…you are gonna be alone tonight with one of the most eligible bachelors in Forks…hell the Olympic peninsula…and I think something's gonna happen tonight." I said.

"ALICE!" Bella groaned

"WHAT IS SO HARD TO BELIEVE…THE FACT THAT HE LIKES YOU…OR THE FACT THAT YOUR BETTER LOOKING THEN YOU THINK!" I spat.

"Its like beating your head against a wall…god!" I complained.

" alright alright I get it !" Bella said. What did Jasper say to her? I was gonna have to have him give more pep talks! I looked at Jasper through the mirror, held up a curling iron and smiled. Cinderella's fairy god mother had nothing on me…and I didn't even have the icky silver hair! I let her hair down in loose curls. God I'd kill to have my hair curl like that! When she was finished I smiled. I really did do an amazing job with makeovers. I whipped out the dark blue dress and matching high heels and went back into the room. It was just like my imagination.

" ooh perfect!" I said staring at her in the mirror.

" you know…this totally makes up for you missing prom…but I would of missed it too if I could get my dream boy on vacation a few months later." I said.

"huh prom…wasn't it so much fun Jazzy!" I said looking at Jasper. Jasper asked me the first day possible.

"would have been a lot funner if somebody else had come along!" Jasper said glaring at Bella.

"I didn't have a date…god knows what Emmett would of said." Bella said.

"You could of gone alone!" Jasper said.

"but that would have been so embarrassing!" Bella countered.

"If that was your only reason for not going you should of just told me…I could of easily aligned a date…I'm related to Mr. popularity over there!" Jasper said pointing to a picture of Edward on his parents nightstand .

" he was dating Tanya at the rime." Bella said.

"still we had connections…whatever I possibly couldn't get he could." Jasper said

"Whatever…Emmett would of ruined it for me anyways!" Bella said.

"True…Emmett's idea of fun is ruining other people's fun." Jasper agreed.

It was then that Bella went down the stairs. Jasper and I went down the stairs to put on the performance.


	8. The sun to my earth

**i dont own twilight or its characters S/M does. Thanks for the reviews...keep them up!**

Chapter 8

BPV.

We were alone in the house. Emmett and Kate hadn't come home yet and Jasper and Alice just left. I walked into the living room to find the kitchen table moved into the living room , the lights dimmed and candles lit. Edward was standing next to one of the chairs with a bouquet of sunflowers that were mixed with vibrant red roses. He held out the chair for me and got our dinners. Classical music played in the air. Edward looked extremely well dressed…kind of like Alice picked his outfit out for him. I loved the way his eyes smoldered in the light.

" I think we need to talk about some things." Edward said.

"like what?" I asked.

" listen Bella really I like you and these past few days were the best time of my life. I feel closer to you then any other girl in my life. I don't have to hide behind my persona with you…I'm free to be me and I was wondering if you felt the same thing about me?" Edward asked. Did he just say what I think he said?

"Edward I'm speechless!" I said.

"If this is going too fast for you…" Edward said. I cut him off before he could finish that sentence..

"No no no…it's just that I thought this would never happen." I gasped. I was in shock. I had daydreamed about this moment for a long time…I had to say it was a lot better then I imagined. I couldn't believe this…I felt like I was in a movie or something. I've never felt so happy before.

"I do feel the same way and I have for a long time." I said. I started to blush.

"did you think that this would never happen because you wouldn't like someone like me?" he asked.

"no…it was the opposite actually." I said. Edward's worried glaze lightened up at my words.

"Are you serious?" he laughed.

"your fantastic Bella…everything I ever wanted in a girl and I thought you saw me as just some pompous arrogant jerk like Emmett." Edward said.

"Actually Edward…I always knew you were different…I used to watch you every night in the band room." I said. Oh did I just say that last part out loud?

"What?" Edward asked. My blush deepened. I did…shit.

"well you see…I walked by and heard the beautiful music once and I couldn't stop coming back…it was absolutely gorgeous." I said. He had a look of mild shock on his face.

"You used to listen to me play?" Edward asked in a strange voice.

"Yeah I'm sorry if that offends you." I said.

"No it's not that…I'm just flattered that you'd take the time to listen to me play!" Edward said.

"Besides I always had a feeling someone was watching…I mean I thought I saw an eye a few times and I heard crunching sounds…why didn't you ever come over and say hi?" Edward asked.

"well I didn't want to interrupt you…you looked like you were in your own world…why didn't you show anybody you could play? There was tons of things for that kind of stuff in our school?" I asked.

"Well all that kind of stuff interfered with my football and my other sports teams." Edward said.

"But Edward do you know how talented you are?" I asked.

"Well Emmett said that that shouldn't come before sports…that my music should take a back seat to my NFL career…that I wasn't even talented…in fact this was his exact wording " I don't get it…that didn't even sound like a song" while staring at the piano and I said " Emmett that's Claire de lune." Emmett looked confused and said "Claire de what?…got any Jay zee on this thing? " I just shook my head at Emmett's ignorance." Edward said.

" do I even have to comment on that?" I asked trying not to laugh. Yeah he's a real idiot. Emmett would tell the world's next Beethoven that he sucks…and then ask if his piano can play Jay zee.

"well your not the only person who had Jasper like tendencies!" Edward said handing a couple of pieces of paper. Two of my class schedules and a paper that I wrote about Edward from my junior year. No wonder why he was always in the class next door to mine. I was elated…what are the chances that your high school crush had an obsession with you too…this was a dream come true!

"I wondered where that paper went!" I smiled.

"I always wanted to know who that paper was about…I always swore that when I found out I would punch that person in the face?" Edward chuckled asking me

"well it's kind of hard to punch yourself in the face." I said. He looked mildly surprised.

"now I'm speechless…I'm honored I'm the sun to your earth…okay since we clearly established the fact that we share the same feelings for each other Isabella Marie Swan will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend? " Edward asked kissing my hand. It sent shivers down my spine. He actually bent down on one knee.

"do you know how long I've been waiting for this!" I exclaimed jumping into his arms. Then with out warning Edward leaned in and stopped really close to my face. He pushed some stray locks behind my ears. He ran his thumb over my cheek which sent electrical pulses through out my body.

"Bella" was all he said and the distance between our lips closed. This was the best kiss I've ever received. This kiss was more then I ever imagined, hands down this was the best night of my life. He was so sweet, soft and gentle with me…the way everyone dreams their first kiss with somebody should be…perfection! Just then a stray popcorn fell in my hair…what the hell?

APV

Jasper had already picked out the perfect spot where we could see and hear everything. When we arrived at the banister there was a bag of popcorn and a bottle of red wine sitting there waiting for us. He poured our glasses and we watched as the events unfolded. I couldn't believe that my sister landed the school hottie…not that she wasn't hot it's just that she's never opened up before. I looked at Jasper and beamed…my sister and his brother…I couldn't be happier! Jasper brushed a tear from my eye.

"This is like a romance movie!" I said eating a piece of popcorn and looking down.

"yes it is!" Jasper said looking at me.

"Jazzy look it…we helped organize that!" I said smiling.

"She did not just say that…please god tell me I didn't hear that!" I spat when Bella slipped about the band room. I heard a slight chuckle slip from Jasper's lips before it immediately stopped.

"I am gonna have to talk to retard about those comments he made…what the hell is he talking about not talented…Emmett wishes he could play like that!" Jasper hissed. He had the same glower in his eye that Bella did at this point. Judging from both their reactions Edward must be one heck of a musician! I took a sip of the wine. It wasn't really my taste but it was perfect for the occasion.

"We should go into a matchmaking business together Jazzy we're really good at it…you can design a website right?" I asked.

" Shut up Alice…we're missing out!" Jasper hushed me. The next thing I saw floored me. He was handing white papers over to her…having the keen eye for detail I saw what they were. I KNEW TANYA WAS A COVER! Honestly though I didn't see that coming…frankly I would of told Bella everything if I knew! Jasper covered my ears for a second…I didn't know why he was trying to censor me.

"What'd they say Jasper!" I demanded.

"Nothing!" Jasper said.

"Jasper what did they say!" I demanded.

"Honestly nothing!" Jasper said looking off. I'd get it out of one of them later! I watched as Edward leaned in. Could this night get any better? I looked as Jasper had his hand over his mouth in shock. When their lips met I threw the pop corn bag in the air.

"Hallelujah…Hallelujah!" I sang. Pop corn scattered everywhere. My sister's gonna be happy I sobbed in my head.

"I wish it were that easy!" Jasper whispered to himself

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing!" Jasper said. I looked as both sets of eyes looked up at us. I ran down the stairs singing "PRAISE JESUS!" I was just so happy! Finally my advice is listened to around here!

" So you two are finally together!" I sang.

"Alice shut up…your not even supposed to be here right now!" Bella said. I was about to speak when I heard Kate from the kitchen.

"Ew talk about a downgrade!" Kate said.

"Don't worry…I'll take care of this!" I said pulling out my newly filed nails as if they were sharpened knives. Jasper and I looked at each other and headed into the kitchen.

A half hour later I was cleaning the blood off my nails and kissing them. I may of chipped one but it was worth it…seeing that look on her face! Ha! She's gonna need plastic surgery now…wanna call my sister a downgrade…what could be lower then you!

"Damn you fucked Emmett up…I never thought anyone could make Emmett fall …remind me not to piss you off!" Jasper said as Emmett flailed around on the floor…his nose bent sideways.

"That's nothing…did you get a load of Kate in the bathroom clotting her face!" I said.

"MY FACE…I THINK I NEED STITCHES!" Kate cried.

"That's my Al-Al…Grandpa Cullen would love you…you know he was in the army. He killed mad people and beat up a lot of people that messed with him. He's a badass. He once took his cane to Emmett's head…Emmett stole money from me when Grandpa was there for our last family birthday party…Emmett being best friend got an invite. Called him a little bastard. Knocked him senseless. I love Grandpa Cullen. Ugh no one could beat Emmett like he did." Jasper sighed.

" Cant wait to meet him!" Alice said.

" Cant wait…the minute I'm out of college…I'm going to fight…I'm enlisting the minute we get back…I want to follow in his footsteps!" Jasper said happily.

"Aww so cute Jazzy!" I said. This really didn't shock me. Jazzy was so patriotic!

"I can make you camouflage t-shirts!" I said. A couple images came to mind. He was gonna be the most fashionable solider on the battle field. I started to list what shirts I would put in his care package.

"Please don't tell anyone yet though…I want to be the one that breaks that news!" Jasper begged me.

"My lips are sealed." I said. Jasper looked and smiled.

"What do you say we get out of here…do some actual shopping…and drop those two off at a hospital?" Jasper asked. Wanting to give the two love birds some space I quickly agreed. We loaded the injured in the back seat and took off. Luckily Emmett had too much pride to tell the hospital that _I _did those damages. He told them that him and Kate were mugged before Kate could open her mouth.

" yeah that's what happened!" Kate said glaring at my nails afraid. Hehe don't fuck with Alice Swan's family! Jasper took my hand and we headed out the door. They could call a taxi.

We then entered heaven on earth!

BPV.

As we heard the car pull out I knew that we were finally alone. We sat on the couch and Edward popped in Macbeth and we watched that. I rested my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around me. I almost fell asleep in his arms half way through the movie. Once the movie ended he carried me up the stairs. Our lips locked then the heat of passion overwhelmed the both of us.

I awoke early the next morning to find Edward next to me and staring. My favorite smile was on his face. I couldn't believe he was interested in me. I felt like this was a dream…only better. I knew that last night was even beyond my wildest imaginations. It truly was the best night of my life.

"Morning!" Edward greeted happily.

"Morning!" I smiled back. We snuggled. I looked into his flaming emerald green eyes. He held me close to him. We stayed like that for a while until we got hungry and ventured down stairs. Edward was cooking scrambled eggs when Emmett walked in…a huge brace was on his nose. I already knew that was my sister's handy work from the rhinestone that was engraved in his face.

"What happened to you?" Edward asked though from the look on his face I could tell he already knew.

" It was awful man…Kate and I were mugged last night…you should see the other guy though!" Emmett said.

"really…what were you mugged by a girl….those look like fingernail scratches on Kate's face…and you got a diamond sticking out right there!" Edward said pointing to the rhinestone.

"well his girlfriend was there!" Emmett said. Just then Alice walked into the kitchen.

"Oh there's where my rhinestone went…I was looking for that!" Alice said.

"alright alright I'll admit it…Alice kicked my ass. I didn't know she knew Kong fu…its not a fair fight anyways cuz I couldn't hit her back!" Emmett said.

"No it wasn't a fair fight because she didn't let you hit her back. She blocked you every step of the way. Edward you had to see it…Mr. I'm a tenth degree black belt fell right on the floor. Al-Al would make Grandpa Cullen happy as a granddaughter! She broke Emmett's nose with ease!" Jasper said.

"Well put it this way…my hands are registered as lethal weapons." Alice said. Edward raised an eyebrow.

"So what happened last night…Jasper said he didn't hear anything but Emmett said that it was so loud that it kept him awake!" Alice demanded when we were alone. Oh Jasper did hear something but not us…Prada…Gucci…Fendi…or anything Alice said in her sleep last night.

"Well after you left we watched a movie." I said.

"And?" Alice asked.

"And well then you know." I said.

"No Bella I don't know…what happened?" Alice asked. Why did Alice have to make everything so difficult for me.

"do I have to spell it out for you!" I said.

"So is he good in bed?" Alice asked.

"ALICE!" I groaned.

"What? I heard all these rumors…I have to ask!" Alice said.

"Well having only one other partner I cant really compare much…and considering it was the creeper Jacob the night I puked my brains out…I cant really compare it with that. I mean last night was amazing…and that was just nasty." I said. Bad memories of the night in question flashed through my head.

"I agree with you there but I don't know if that counts…my first time was with Jacob too…just ugh…bad memories…come to think of it I was pretty lit myself that night…guess we shouldn't invite him to any more parties…he has a problem with steeling people's virginity…even Mike was better then him…and Mike was pretty bad. Cant believe dad's friends with his dad…talk about awkward!" Alice said. As you can tell Alice was more experienced then I was.

" you said _amazing_…sounds hot!" Alice said. Just then Edward came in. My savior!

"You may of gotten away with it this time Bella!" Alice said. Edward caught it.

"Gotten away with what Alice?" Edward asked…his eyes narrowing.

"looking for information so you can weave the truth into a lie again?" Edward asked.

"I never lie!" Alice said offended.

"Really…Angela's party last year. You said you walked in on me getting a blow job from Jessica Stanley. Okay first of all I would not let that mouth anywhere near any part of my body. Secondly I seem to recall that it was I who walked in on _you_ and Eric. Thirdly you weren't giving him a blow job…you and him were out right doing it." Edward said.

"So I may of blemished the facts a little." Alice said.

"A little?" Edward asked.

"okay a lot…but I had to…Eric was threatening to spread rumors!" Alice said.

"You could at least given me a heads up…I was fricken ambushed for crying out loud…someone actually tried to pay me for my services!" Edward said annoyed.

"alright I'm sorry… I wont do that anymore…I swear!" Alice said

"Its alright Alice I forgive you…you just need to know the consequences of you lies on other people." Edward said.

" that's what I've been trying to tell her for the longest time. You know how many time's I've been grounded cuz Alice lied. Like the time she got in trouble with the police for shoplifting clothes at the local mall and she gave my name and my id that she conveniently stole out of my purse. Not to mention she was wearing a brown wig and contacts. I had charges brought up against me…thank god Charlie's the chief of police and could get everything cleared." I said.

"God I do that once and you don't let me live it down!" Alice said.

"Alice I was almost put in Jail because of you. And all because you had to have a t-shirt. If you waited the week Charlie would of given you the twenty dollars extra for it. But you just _had _to steal it and pretend to be me!" I said.

"I couldn't get another charge…Charlie already cleared the other ones but said I couldn't have another freebee. I…I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't wait another week…the party was that weekend!" Alice said.

"Yeah well the cost of my/ your bail was way more then your t-shirt Alice!" I said.

"I figured that you had a clean slate…wouldn't be a big deal." Alice said.

"Clean slate…what about the time we both got incarcerated because you picked me up from a friends house drunk…with open bottles of tequila around, hit a car, drove away and got chased by the cops. Not to mention you hit a god damn tree! Your lucky Charlie reduced the charges to only driving with open alcohol…it was wonderful to find out from the cops…not even you…that Jasper was blacked out with Alcohol poisoning in the back seat. That made us look real great Alice…I still have the accomplice charge on my record…AND I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!" I said.

"You were sober that night…friends don't let friends drive drunk Bella…you could of driven!" Alice said.

"I tired…you scratched my face like Kate's only not as deep…not to mention the air bag hit me in the face and you kept driving like that!" I said.

"Oh so that's what happened the night I woke up in Forks community hospital…wait I was in a car accident that night…no wonder why dad was so pissed!" Jasper said. We launched into the full story.

__

Flashback

Six months ago.

I was waiting for Alice to come pick me up from my friend Angela's house. Alice had dropped me off in her truck on her way to a house party so she was going to be my ride home. When I saw the truck swerve into the driveway I knew something was wrong. I opened the door and Alice fell out of the car…trashed out of her mind.

"Alice why don't I drive?" I asked attempting to shove Alice into the passenger seat. Alice's nails clawed me in the face. Normally I wouldn't of gotten in at this point but Angela didn't have her license and if I called Charlie he'd know something was up so I jumped into the passenger seat .

"Want some?" Alice slurred holding up a half empty bottle of tequila.

"Alice you brought that in here?" I gasped.

"Bella it will relax you…loosen up…have some fun!" Alice said swerving into oncoming traffic.

"Alice you know it's against the law to have open Alcohol in your car!" I said

"Oh how are they gonna find out!" Alice said waiving it in the air.

"Alice watch the road!" I said as we swerved again. I thought I heard something slam against the side of the truck bed.

"do you have something in the back?" I asked.

"Noo!" Alice said. I turned around to try to look because there was definitely something back there. It looked pretty big too. Then I heard a loud horn. I turned to see a mini van in front of us. We hit a minivan in the opposite lane of what we were supposed to be in that was stopped at a red light. The airbag deployed and hit me in the face…OWWW!

"Oops …hopefully they didn't see us!" Alice said driving away.

"Alice pull over!" I said . Just then sirens blared behind us.

"OH SHIT!" Alice said hitting the gas.

"Hold on Bella…we're taking back roads!" Alice said driving into a field. I looked to see police ATV'S pop out behind us.

"NOT GONNA CATCH ME!" Alice roared driving into the woods. I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die!

"Alice your gonna hit a tree…you need to get on to the road!" I said scared.

"What tree?" Alice asked as a huge evergreen tree appeared out of no where.

"BREAK ALICE BREAK!" I screamed. Alice hit the break hard but we still hit the tree…Just not hard enough for us to get hurt though. The thing that was in the back of the truck slammed against the window. I could of sworn I seen blonde hair.

"Is that a person?" I asked.

"Its just a scare crow that I stole someone's yard…no big deal!" Alice said.

"Why would you do that?" I asked as Alice tried to get the truck started again.

"Oh shit…oh shit we're screwed!" Alice said when the truck wouldn't turn on. She picked up the bottle of tequila and chugged more.

"What do you mean we're screwed? YOUR SCREWED…I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!" I roared the last part. Moaning came from the truck bed. Lights surrounded us. This isn't happening …this isn't happening! The cop wrapped on my door.

"Step out of the vehicle miss!" the cop said. As I stepped out they pulled out a purple Jasper from the truck bed. Jasper?

"I swear to god officer I didn't know he was back there!" I said.

"A likely story miss…we've heard it all before!" the officer said. Alice fell out of the cab and started puking.

"Alright we don't need to breathalyze that one…miss breath out!" the officer said sticking the breathalyzer in my mouth.

"I think we need an ambulance for this one!" they said pointing at Jasper who had foam coming out of his mouth.

"Want some tequila?" Alice asked shoving the bottle in an officer's face

"Miss your under arrest!" an officer said to me while slapping on handcuffs as they maranderized me

"For what?" I asked.

"Accomplice to what ever charges she faces!" the officer said pointing at Alice. Great so I was getting in trouble because Alice decided to party before she picked me up!

"I hope Jazz Jazz is okay?" Alice said as we drove away in the back of a police car. Charlie got me an down to an accomplice to OA charge…a very minor thing. But he kept that because he said it was punishment for not calling him. He also made Alice and I spend the night in lock up.

" where am I …Bella what happened to your face?" Alice asked waking up the next morning.

"We're in jail…you clawed my face because I tried to drive, hit a mini van…airbag hit me in the face…went on an off road chase….and hit a tree. Not to mention you had a half dead Jasper in the back seat and told me it was someone's scare crow that you stole!" I said.

"Omg is Jasper okay?" Alice asked scared.

"Hospital called this morning…said that he was going to be okay…after he got his stomach pumped. Alice they said one more drink would of killed him. You need to chill with the drinking Alice…I know you like to and everything but when your endangering people's lives you need to slow down!" I said. It was then that we saw Emmett's lawyer spring him from prison…apparently he was in the minivan with a bunch of his friends… not including Edward…with a shit load of beer and pot. It was Tyler Crowley's van. He was definitely more screwed then I was….maybe on the level of Alice.

"I swear it wasn't mine…I was holding it for someone else…does it matter if the joint was lit?" Emmett asked. Yep he's definitely screwed.

"if it wasn't for that fucking truck that rammed into us…I would have been fine!" Emmett growled.

"Actually that truck probably saved your life…the driver of the van was way over the legal limit plus stoned out of his mind!" the clerk said.

"They're right over there if you want to thank them!" the clerk said pointing at us.

"IT WAS YOU!" Emmett said pissed.

"IT WAS YOU!" Alice copied

End of flashback

"ooh so that's why when I woke up I had a black eye!" Jasper exclaimed.

"Not gonna do that any more are we ALICE!" Edward said holding me close

"Funny that was Charlie's wording when he let us out of the jail cell!" Alice said

" that's why Jazzy drives now when I get that trashed!" Alice continued on. Lush and lusher driving home…bad image!

"Even better…Bella next time we're out and those two are that trashed I'm driving!" Edward said. I didn't even argue with that.

" Oh Eddie I'm not that bad…well some times I am…like that time I am but usually no." Alice said.

"Alice this vacation's the first time I've seen you sober outside of school and usually your pretty god damn lit. I seem to recall a couple of times when I questioned calling the paramedics on you." Edward said.

"Oh you and Bella make a really good pair…your both really bad exaggerators…I know my limits!" Alice said. Everyone in the room rolled their eyes. I seemed to recall a few times when I had to stay up all night to make sure Alice lived…while stuffing bread and water down her throat. I had to lie and tell mom and dad that she had the stomach flu those times.

"who's exaggerating…we don't need to exaggerate with you!" Edward said pulling out a polorid of Alice passed out in Edward's bathroom floor.

"Why do you have that picture on you?" Alice gasped.

" For this moment…you were walking around that whole night saying "I'm fine…I know my limits, I don't get drunk! I don't get that drunk!" all the while Jasper was following you with a bottle of Captain Morgan. And that's not the night you crashed." Edward said.

"What is this…rag on Alice night…you guys aren't all angels…especially you Edward…I can find some things in my phone about you!" Alice said

"Hey the only really bad things I've done were the things _he_ ( he pointed to Emmett who was walking by with a protein drink) forced me to do. Other then that you'll find my nose is very clean!" Edward said.

"Alright what about the time you passed out over the banister at your house!" Alice said.

"That was Emmett…that wasn't even me!" Edward said.

"Alright but I got one…Mr. I'm Clean…what about the time you and Jasper decided to have a Mexican Christmas party!" Alice said pulling out a video of Edward with a sombrero on singing "Feliz navidad" Edward turned beet red

"Forgot about that…but hey I'm not the one who woke up on the Indian reservation with a creepy Indian staring at me as I lay on top of Mike Newton with my pants down the next day!" Edward said.

"No you just passed out in the bathroom…and did god knows what with Victoria Leach…you really must of rocked that broads world since she went on a big slut spree after you!" Alice said. All these revelations weren't new. When Alice is your sister you hear everything about everyone. She whipped out a photo of Edward passed out on the floor.

"What about you then Bella…I seem to recall some times…not including Everclear…like the time we snuck into dads liquor bar!" Alice said.

"Alice you're the one who snuck into dads liquor bar…I just played lookout…you're the one who made me drink…I said no but you said "Oh common Bella…don't be such a wose!" I wound up in the hospital because you drunkenly decided it'd be fun to run over my foot!" I said.

"Bella it was just a sprain!" Alice said.

"Alice I had to have surgery on my foot…you signed the cast!" I said.

"potato potato whatever…I am just as innocent as any of you and you all know it!" Alice said


	9. Dreams and the lightning bolt

**i dont own twilight or its characters S/M does. Thanks for the reviews...keep them up!**

Chapter 9

BPV.

Later on that day Edward and I went out to eat. We found a local restaurant that served good food and talked. After that we got some ice cream together. We held hands and watched the sun set from the country side. I looked as the purple clouds whisped

across the sky. I couldn't believe I was here…with Edward. I couldn't believe that he chose me…that my high school crush was standing next to me, that our feelings were reciprocal. I looked into his eyes…his Smokey emerald eyes and was lost in them. I rested my head against his shoulder and we sat silent for the next few minutes.

" isn't the sun set beautiful!" I sighed. Not as beautiful as you but still beautiful.

"Yes it is." Edward said looking at me. I brushed my fingers against his bronze hair. His hand rested around my shoulder. I nestled in closer to him. I couldn't believe my luck. I finally got my dream…albeit through being hit by a car. I was here in his arms…actually touching him. It still had me amazed. We looked on as a gentle breeze moved the grass ever so slightly. As the flowers gently swayed in the wind. Everything felt so perfect…natural…right. I then felt the gentle brush of his lips against mine. Again it was gentle, soft and sweet…the perfect combination. The electricity that was felt every time we touched intensified into a huge flame that we were both consumed in. A few hours later we were snuggling when my phone went off. It was Alice.

"Alice?" I asked.

"oh shit I interrupted something didn't I?…sorry…I was just wondering if you could swing by the hotel tonight…you can bring Edward…it's just that I had that nightmare again and I'm really creeped out…I think I can go back to sleep if someone stays with me!" Alice said. I looked at Edward and held my hand over the phone.

"its Alice…she wants the both of us to stay with her tonight." I said. Edward nodded in understanding.

"Okay…we'll stop at the house and get our stuff." Edward said.

"alright Alice…we'll be there in a few." I said.

"Thank you thank you thank you…I'm so sorry…Jasper wouldn't pick up his phone…I didn't want to disturb you but the only prospect that was left was Emmett…and I wasn't gonna go down that ally!" Alice said apologetically.

"Alice don't apologize!" I said.

"Well I gotta go Alice we'll be there soon!" I said as Edward started the car.

"bye!" Alice said hanging up the phone.

"What's going on?" Edward asked.

" Alice has been having this nightmare that someone's stalking her." I said. Edward and I looked at each other.

"Guess Jasper hasn't been as invisible as he thought!" Edward said.

" he probably is invisible…Alice has a weird sixth sense…she just knows things sometimes when she has no way of knowing how." I said

"I know how that is…it's kind of creepy when Jasper knows your feeling down before you even say anything and I don't think it's a twin thing because it's not just me he does it to." Edward said. It was then that we pulled into the house. Emmett was sitting there with the Queen Bitch who threw disgusted looks at me as I walked in. I grabbed Edward's hand and kissed his cheek to piss her off more. Edward snickered as we walked away.

"That will get them talking for a little bit!" Edward said smiling.

"Good what are they gonna do about it…I don't even know why they care so much!" I said.

"They believe that they're better then everybody else…that the rich should only date the rich. I don't buy into that….everybody's rich in their own way. Just because you have money doesn't mean your better then everyone else…money cant buy you a good personality…which they obviously lack." Edward said.

"well your right there." We stared back at Emmett and Kate who were still glaring.

" I kinda feel sorry for them…in the end they're gonna wind up alone with all their millions not even having each other for support. You know that with their personalities they wont last. Mock my words they'll be over by next year." Edward said. As if on cue they started fighting with each other….something about her wanting him to give her a pedicure and he wouldn't do it.

"I want a pedicure!" she ordered.

"Hell no!" Emmett said.

"But I want a pedicure!" Kate grunted.

"Hell no!" Emmett repeated.

"EMMETT MCCARTHY YOU WILL GIVE ME MY GODDAMN PEDICURE RIGHT NOW!" Kate roared like the spoiled princess she was.

"I think we better get out of here before they start killing each other…trust me I've heard that tone with her before and it's gonna get bad!" Edward said as we ran out the door with our stuff. I swore I heard a glass break as we pulled out of the driveway. Edward groaned.

" looks like I'm gonna have a mess to clean up tomorrow…you'd think they'd clean up after themselves in someone else's house…but no…they hide under the umbrella that they're the guests!" Edward said annoyed. We then drove over to the hotel. When we got into the room Alice was sitting in bed with a black sleep mask over her hair that read "Allie S" in hot pink letters.

"Why are you staring at me like that Edward?" Alice asked. I knew why…Alice was actually plain faced for once.

" I think this is the first time I've ever seen you with out makeup." Edward said.

"Hence the mask!" Alice said pulling the mask back down but not before Edward could get a picture on his cellphone.

"Delete that!" Alice said offended.

"NEVER!" Edward said sounding a lot like Emmett.

"If you don't delete it then please please don't show anybody!" Alice begged.

"I'm not that much of an asshole!" Edward said.

"Good because if you did…well lets just say there's more videos then you in the sombrero!" Alice said.

"Well then I guess we're even…you don't show those videos and I don't show your picture?" Edward said.

"Deal!" Alice said. They shook hands. After that we got changed and settled into the bed next to her. I laid in Edward's arms as Alice turned out the light.

"Dior…Prada…Chanel…Gucci!" Alice said between snores.

"Jasper likes to listen to this!" Edward said shaking his head

"Might want to go to sleep now…trust me it's only going to get worse!" I warned. Blackness soon enveloped.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO! ITS THE LAST CHANEL SCARF…. LET ME IN I SWEAR I'LL BE QUICK!" Alice screamed waking both Edward and I out of a sound sleep.

"Alice wake up your having a bad dream!" I said shaking her. It didn't work. Edward tried pouring water…didn't work either.

"ALICE I'M THROWING YOUR MAKEUP OFF THE BALCONY!" I threatened.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" Alice shouted…her eyes popping open. If I thought she was awake my hopes were killed with what came out of her mouth next.

"SCARF!" Alice said sniffing the bed sheets. I took Edward's hand and we went out to the balcony. As we walked out the leaves on the nearest tree rustled though there was no wind.

"Good night Jasper!" Edward and I said at the same time. The leaves rustled and a hand poked out waiving.

"Gu-cci , gu-cci, gu-cci!" Alice was saying calmly as we walked back in. one of her blankets was wrapped around her neck like a scarf.

"your sister has some serious issues if all she dreams about is shopping!" Edward said as we settled back in.

"Jazzy I want the blue one…I love you Jazzy!" Alice said. There was a loud thud outside…Jasper must of fallen. I hoped he was okay!

"Discover card why are you leaving me? I thought we had so much fun together!" Alice said. Edward looked like he wanted to staple her mouth shut but out of respect for Jasper he didn't.

"There is a hammock outside…and it looks comfortable …and I think that glass is sound proof…what do you say we make Jasper's night?" Edward asked.

"alright!" I said. Edward grabbed her head and I grabbed her feet. Letting one foot hit the floor I opened the door. As we put her in the hammock we saw binoculars stick out of the tree…it was really easy because she was so light.

"You can thank us later Jasper" we said as we walked inside. A thumbs up came out of the tree. We shut the curtains and locked the sliding glass door. I fell asleep on Edward's chest a little while later.

We woke up the next morning to Alice pounding on the door in the rain. Judging by the fact that her hair was still dry it must of just started. It was down pouring and thundering out.

"LET ME IN!" Alice was shouting. Edward opened the door and Alice stumbled in.

"Ugh I'm gonna die of pneumonia now!" Alice said running into the shower.

"Alice I wouldn't go into the shower…its lightning out!" I said. Just then there was a very loud boom…it sounded like the bathroom exploded. Alice started screaming "IT GOT ME IT GOT ME!" we ran to the bathroom to see Alice standing perfectly normal. There was a small flame going up the side of her head. She was gonna be so glad she didn't put hairspray in yet.

"I cant feel my hand …what's that burning smell?" Alice asked. We looked to see two small burn marks on the hand that was on the same side her hair was burning.

"Alice…your hair!" I said pointing to the flame. Alice turned to the mirror.

"OH MY GOD MY HAIR!" Alice screamed putting it out with a towel. Since we didn't have ice we wrapped her arm in cool cloths.

"Look at me I look hideous…I look like my hair got caught in the dryer!" Alice sobbed as we went about giving her a hair cut.

"You would have to try and out due me Alice!" I laughed as we did the finishing touches to her head

"Looks like we're gonna have to stop at the pharmacy!" Edward said staring at Alice's hand

"have this hand wrapped up…hell no!…I don't want my hand looking like that!" Alice said pointing to my cast.

"Alice if you want to have an arm to carry all your Gucci merchandise with then I suggest you treat that!" Edward said.

"I don't wanna loose my arm…I wont be able to do a manicure!" Alice cried.

"Alright I'll treat it… but your not wrapping up my arm that much!" Alice said pointing at the cast again. When we went to the local pharmacy we grabbed a home burn treatment. Alice picked up some pink food dye so that she could color the gauze that was going to be placed on her arm…or at least have some pink splotches on it. We placed everything on her in the car on the way over to the mansion…Alice was going to go shopping with Jasper. The minute we stepped out of the car Jasper rampaged out of the house. He shoved me into Edward's arms in the attempt to get at Alice. He must be whipped if he could spot her arm from behind my back.

"ALICE…WHAT HAPPENED?" Jasper shouted over dramatically.

"Jazzy it was awful…I was turning the shower head on and I got struck by lightning…my hair caught fire!" Alice sobbed.

"Oh Alice!" Jasper said worriedly. Alice must really be blind not to see that. From the look on his face I could see Edward was thinking the same thing. Jasper was still shaken when they went into the house together.

"you know I tried to tell her about him. I left a face book message on her status the day before ( he looked away from my arm with a pained look on his face) saying that Jasper was her main creeper but he found out and deleted it right after I put it up." Edward said.

"oh so that's what happened with that…I was wondering what that was about." I said. Edward snickered.

" Jasper was so worried that she saw that…I knew she didn't …he deleted it with in seconds!" Edward said still snickering.

"maybe it would of done her some good to have seen it." I said.

"I know it would of definitely of done him so good….even if he wont admit it!" Edward said.

"I have a feeling that he's not going to hide it from her that much longer…I mean look it he's barely hiding it anyways." I said.

"I know." Edward said. We then walked into the house together. Alice was laying on a couch with ten pillows behind her and a blanket over her. A bell was in her hand.

"Jazzy I need more juice!" Alice said. Jasper ran out with a bottle of apple juice in hand. He was taking the love slave thing to a whole new level.

"and can you give me a manicure please…I still cant feel my hand and this nail polish is so yesterday!" Alice said.

"I'll be right back with the nail polish bottle…what color do you want…mom has over two hundred?" Jasper called running up the stairs.

"Just bring them all down I'll make a decision then." Alice said.

"Okay!" Jasper called.

"Whipped!" Edward whispered. I nodded in agreement. Edward took my hand and we walked upstairs. We passed Jasper on the stairway with two huge bags in his hand and panting as he ran down the stairs. A huge smile was on his face.

"I'm coming Al-Al!" Jasper called. We went into Edward's room and Edward started to play that song again. It lulled me into a blissful sleepy state

"That really it's such a pretty song…I forgot to ask you…what was your inspiration for it?" I asked when Edward finished.

"please don't laugh." Edward said.

"I swear I wont." I said.

"well its about a girl I met when I moved to Forks. Her poem I read was so beautiful I couldn't get it off my mind and it just inspired this song." Edward said kissing my cheek. I blushed a little.

"It's so beautiful." I said.

"Your so beautiful." Edward responded.

"YOU WROTE A SONG ABOUT BELLA…THAT'S SO CUTE!" Alice said running into the room. Jasper was painting the last nail

"I can write songs too you know!" Jasper said running to the piano. A blues piece filled the air.

"MY UNREQUITED LOVE…HER NAME STARTS WITH AN A AND ENDS WITH AND E!" Jasper sang very off pitch and off key. His voice actually squeaked.

"I always knew you had a thing for Alyse in English class!" Alice said completely oblivious that the song was about her. Edward and I just looked at each other and shook our heads. Poor Jasper!

"He sings that every night before he leaves to go stalking!" Edward said. I heard him humming it a few times myself

" thank god he didn't sing the chorus…"Oh Alice Alice…my one and only…Alice oh Alice…there for when I'm feeling lonely…Alice oh Alice …watching you sleep at night!"" Edward whispered in a mock Jasper voice.

"Not much of a song writer is he?" I said.

"He tries." Edward said.

"I think I'll go down stairs and make myself a banana split." Alice said.

"You don't move an inch…I'll be right back with that…vanilla, strawberry, or chocolate?" Jasper asked.

"One of each…Jazzy your such a good friend…I don't know what I'd do with out you!" Alice said. He might as well tattoo "Alice's love slave" on his ass. I mean he was using every play in the book. Jasper came back upstairs with Alice's banana split. He handed her a napkin which I caught the writing on it before she did.

" I 3 Alice!" it read.

"What's this?" Alice asked not comprehending that it was in Jasper's handwriting. Jasper went pale white.

"I wrote it…uh last night before we left. I was just doodling and it came out!" I said grabbing the napkin and handing it to Jasper behind my back. He had a relieved look on his face.

"thank you!" he mouthed. God Alice really was clueless. I mean she really should of known his writing…he was the one she went to for all of her forgeries….absence notes for when she skipped, lab reports, and whatever else she needed.

"Common Jazzy… the mall awaits!" Alice said running out of the room. Edward made a whipping sound as Jasper ran out.

"You really didn't have to do that you know…Jasper owes you big time." Edward said.

"Yes I did…Alice has every right to hear how Jasper feels about her from his mouth and not some napkin and Jasper should tell her in person." I said.

"Your right there." Edward said.

"Now enough about them…lets talk about us!" Edward said.

"why do we have to talk." I said leaning in and kissing him. Two hours later we were laying in bed alone in the house. I was in Edwards arms and looking up at his crooked smile. I couldn't believe I was in this god like creature's arms. I was thanking god we got into the same college…what were the chances of that happening. I snuggled closer to him. It was then that Emmett accidently walked in.

"EWWW PANCAKES NAKED…OH MY GOD I THINK I'M GONNA PUKE!" Emmett bellowed slamming the door shut. Edward looked like he wanted to hit him

" Don't worry…Emmett's just jealous because Kate looks like an underweight, adolecent male…trust me I should know…back home one night I was going to go to bed and they were in there. He wants to talk about puking…I'm surprised he doesn't do it every time they go at it." Edward said.

" EW YOU SAW WHAT EMMETT…EW WAIT TILL I TALK TO TANYA!" Kate said from down stairs.

"And Kate's just jealous because she'd have to get a total body reconstruction…ass implants included…to have a body like yours." Edward said. I knew those looked fake…I caught a tissue slipping out of her chest once in gym.

"aww it cant be that bad!" I said.

"No trust me it's bad." Edward said. I fell asleep in Edwards arms after we threw pj's on. I had a dream that that Tanya appeared while we were shopping in Milan.

__

"Edward I want you back…come here with me!" Dream Tanya said. Edward took a step towards her and away from me.

"I'm sorry Bella…I love Tanya…she's beautiful and better in every way." Edward said.

"Come here Edward!" Tanya said seductively. I stood there shocked as him and Tanya ran off into the sun set together.

"NO EDWARD WAIT!" I screamed. Kates face then appeared and said "SorryBella, Tanya's so much better then you…BELLA BELLA BELLA BELLA…!"

"BELLA BELLA " her voice switched to Edwards.

"BELLA WAKE UP!"

EPV

I was watching Bella sleep…a peaceful look on her face. She must have been having a good dream. She said my name a few times before the smile on her face changed to a frown…her face fearful. My heart stopped. What had changed in her dream?

"Tanya?" she gasped really loud. What the hell was my ex girlfriend doing in her dreams? Tears slid down her face.

"NOOOOOO!" she started screaming really loud. Jasper came running in with a bat and Alice was wielding her purse.

"Bella wake up!" I said shaking her. Please god let her wake up. She looked like she was in pain.

"Edward I know Tanya's more beautiful but I love you…I know why you think she's better!" Bella was sobbing. I could not believe that was coming out of her mouth…I would never…ever say something like that. Fucking Tanya…always loving to torment people even when she's not here!

"Bella please its just a nightmare!" I begged shaking her some more.

"UGH I really hate your ex…look at the damage she's inflicted on that poor girl…even I have nightmares about her coming back!" Jasper said disgusted.

"KATE!" Bella screamed fearfully.

"Ugh and don't get me started on princess Kate!" Jasper said.

"GET AWAY FROM ME KATE…STOP LAUGHING!" Bella said frantically tossing and turning. I was sick at this point. Her eyes shot wide open . She shot up and screamed bloody murder.

"WHY KATE…I NEVER DID ANYTHING TO YOU!" She screamed. She tried to get out of bed but Jasper and I held her down.

"Oh my god my sister is possessed!" Alice said afraid.

"No she's not Alice…she's having one hell of a night terror." Jasper said.

"BELLA WAKE UP!" I shouted again.

"Edward we may have to call an ambulance if she doesn't wake up!" Jasper said.

"Stand a side…let the professional in! this used to work all the time!" Alice said smacking Bella across the face. All it did was make her scream more about Kate.

"Damn she must be really out of out…the second time I'm sure will work!" Alice said doing it again to no avail.

"Three times the charm!" Alice said putting her non burned hand up but I stopped her.

"Alice don't…your gonna break her face if you do it hard enough!" I warned. Alice threw her hand down immediately. This went on for the next few hours. I was beside myself…everything I tried wasn't working. What was worse was that it seemed to be repeating itself over and over and over again. She looked like she was in hell or something and I couldn't do anything about it.

" That's it! I'm calling an ambulance!" Jasper said grabbing his cellphone. I shook her one more time.

BPV

Just then I snapped awake. Edward had his hand on my shoulder and a worried look in his eye. Jasper and Alice stood by looking over the bed concerned. Edward then enveloped me in a big hug.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Three o clock in the morning. You've been screaming since 9 pm…Jazzy was about to call an ambulance because you wouldn't wake up. We tried everything…I thought you were having a psychotic break or something." Alice said.

"You were having a severe night terror…you even woke up at some points screaming about Kate's face…which I don't blame you for having a night terror about….all my nightmares involve her…I'm surprised all the screaming didn't wake dumbo up." Jasper said. Just then Emmett came in with a navy blue sleep mask on. It had a silver E on it. He must of got it at the same place Alice did.

"What's all the screaming about…some of us are trying to get their beauty rest!" Emmett said.

"Nothing Emmett…go back to your boy- I mean girlfriend!" Jasper said. Emmett ran back to his room.

"Common Allie I'll take you back to your car!" Jasper said as he and Alice left the room. Edward held me close.

"I'll never leave you like that!" Edward whispered in my ear. Damn do I blab everything in my sleep!

"I know you say that now…but what if she tries to come back in your life." I said.

"trust me I never want to put myself in _that_ hell ever again. Or you for that matter." Edward said looking me right in the eye. I rested my head against him. I reminded myself that it was just a dream.

As we were falling back asleep we heard the door open. Jasper came in singing "MY UNREQUITED LOVE…HER NAME STARTS WITH AN A AND ENDS WITH AN E! Oh Alice Alice…my one and only…Alice oh Alice…there for when I'm feeling lonely…Alice oh Alice …watching you sleep at night…Alice oh Alice your smile is so bright…Alice oh Alice you are such a delight!" Edward and I tossed pillows over our heads and fell asleep.


	10. Connections

**i dont own twilight or its characters S/M does. Thanks for the reviews...keep them up!**

Chapter 10

BPV.

I woke up the next morning in Edwards arms. He still had a glint of worry that vanished the minute he saw my eyes open up. He was still worried about last night. As we went to go down stairs Kate passed us by in a bikini. Edward was right….she was like a board…flat on both sides. Edward actually gagged.

"Guess you were right." I said. Edward grabbed my hand supportively

We then went into the kitchen. Alice was already sitting there sipping a strawberry smoothie that Jasper had made in the blender. Jasper was cleaning up the mess that he made in the attempt to make Alice's smoothie. Edward made us all eggs…he beat me to the skillet or else I would of done it myself .

"sunny side up?" Edward asked cracking the first egg.

"Yes please!" I said.

"I'll have scrambled thank you every much!" Alice said from right next to me. After Edward finished with our breakfasts he went to do his own and was delving into his cheese omelet when we heard this splashing sound out side. We looked out the window and Edward chocked on his food…milk actually shot out of his nose. Jasper pushed his food away.

" Ew who's that boy in a girls bikini with Emmett in the pool?" Alice asked. Her face went into utter shock when Kate turned around.

"OH MY GOD LIKE DID SHE EVEN GO THROUGH PUBERTY!" Alice gasped. A giggle excaped all of our lips before we could stop it.

"I always knew she was a fake…I heard her crinkle sometimes when she walked by me but like holy shit there's nothing there…on either side!" Alice said as Kate's flat ass graced our window. Edward shielded his eyes and Jasper looked green around the gills.

"I think Jasper has a rounder ass then that!" Alice said.

"My hump my hump my lovely male hump!" Jasper sang jokingly.

"I think we've seen enough of that…forever!" Alice said closing the blinds with a disgusted look on her face.

" that was just…nasty I think would be the best word to describe it." Jasper said.

" you pegged that right!" Alice said.

"I'm gonna go on your face book Edward…check things out!" Jasper said walking over to the computer that was in the kitchen.

"Ugh we're missing a bon fire…that's okay we're in italy and their not… I probably wouldn't want to be there anyways…I would be worried that my outfit would get destroyed !" Alice said reading over Jasper's shoulder.

"Oh Edward you have a message!" Jasper said clicking on the notifications. A video of Tanya's face appeared.

"EDDIE…GUESS WHAT BABY I'M SINGLE AGAIN! I HEAR THAT YOUR DATING OCCASIONALLY BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO…TANYA'S COMING BACK…WE CAN GET BACK TOGETHER! THINK ABOUT IT…THE HOTTEST COUPLE IN SCHOOL REUNITED!" Tanya said kissing the camera.

"DELETE!" Jasper gagged.

"Ugh I knew there was something I forgot to do!" Edward said changing his status to "In a relationship with Bella Swan"

"ugh how could you date another version of that!" Alice said pointing to the sounds of Kate frolicking in the water.

"Well she was physically more attractive then Kate…but her personality made her grotesque." Edward said pulling up her profile. Her picture was one of her at a wet t-shirt contest…with what looked like a latino porn star behind her. Probably her at the time boyfriend…Ricardo I think it was.

"Yeah I know what you mean…looks like Kate got all the bad genes there…but the poor t-shirt!" Alice said staring at the photo.

" yeah so glad that's over…she was definitely one floor over the cooko's nest!" Edward said.

"yeah I know…having to deal with just Kate is awful in itself…the two of them was just horrible…they feed off of each other "this caviar sucks…this couch is too hard, this sucks, that sucks, Ew Jasper why do you have to be so mean to us!"" Jasper said in a mock girl voice.

"yeah the dynamic dueo was always like that!" I said. Alice nodded in agreement.

"Yeah first day of high school they threatened to sue the school because they didn't serve their chicken salads the way they liked it…caused a massive disruption in the cafeteria…my pizza was cold by the time Bella and I went to the check out line…that was when I made the deal to start giving the lunch ladies makeovers and I think I gave them heavy duty ones that day." Alice said with a pang of rememberance in her voice.

"I could see that happening." Edward laughed.

"The poor lunch ladies…serving the two queens every day." Jasper said. I then went on and changed my status to "in a relationship." I prayed Charlie didn't see it but I kept Edward's name out in the instance he did and freaked out. After I told Charlie I was going to add his name. Edward kissed my cheek playfully. We then headed upstairs to get ready. Edward helped me tape and untape my arm when I got in and out of the shower. As I got out I passed Alice who grabbed me by the hand and dragged me into the master bedroom.

"I think I've let you get away with going plain faced long enough…your coming with me!" Alice said sitting me in the vanity. I would of fought back if she hadn't used Dr. Cullens ties to restrain me into the chair. I heard banging from the locked door behind me.

"ALICE SWAN YOU OPEN THIS DOOR THIS INSTANT…I WANT MY GIRLFRIEND BACK!" Edward was shouting.

"YOU NEED TO HOLD ON A SECOND MISTER…I'M GIVING _MY SISTER_ A MAKEOVER…YOU'LL GET HER BACK IN A LITTLE BIT!" Alice called through the door as she finished blow drying my hair

"You are so lucky we're all in italy right now!" Alice said.

"Why?" I asked.

"because when dad sees your status change he's gonna blow a gasket…if we…and by we I specifically mean Edward…were in Forks at this moment you know Charlie would try something very irrational." Alice said. Just then we heard a clicking sound. Edward picked the lock. I looked as my hero broke into the room. Unfortunately it was already too late. Once Alice starts with makeup shes a force to be reckoned with. She actually threw her body over the back of the chair.

"over my dead body will you get past that point!" Alice sneered. She twisted the chair around and went about plucking my eyebrows. Anytime Edward made an advancement towards me she stopped and glared. Right as she was adding the finishing touches Edward made his move. He reached behind the chair and pushed it forward…luckily it was a wheel around. Alice jumped out of the way and Edward pushed me out of the room. Alice jumped him though before he could grab a hold of my chair and I ran smack dab into Emmett.

"Bye bye Shakespeare's lover!" Emmett said sending the chair down the staircase.

Fortunately it landed on it's very large back and I hadn't gotten hurt. Unfortunately since Alice bound my feet I couldn't get up. Emmett walked away laughing so he wasn't going to be much help. What was it with him and stair cases?

"BELLA?" Edward shouted from what sounded like a little ways away.

"DOWN HERE!" I called. I saw his bronze tufts slowly look over the banister.

"BELLA!" Edward shouted shocked.

"I'M OKAY…JUST STUCK!" I said. Edward looked somewhat relieved as he ran down to help me out.

"Geez…what did Alice put army style knots in here!…how did you get down here?" Edward asked as he untied me

"Emmett." was all I said.

" I should of known." Edward said. It was then that we could hear a commotion upstairs.

"EMMETT YOU WHAT…YOU COULD OF KILLED MY SISTER!" was followed by a smacking sound and Emmett crying.

"I am so sorry…this is all my fault!" Edward said scooping me up and dusting me off.

" don't be…hows it your fault…you were trying to help me out!" I said. Next time we saw Emmett he had a huge red mark in the shape of Alice's hand across his right cheek. It looked like it was going to bruise at some point. Edward shot him a disgusted look. Emmett ran before Edward could do anything else.

"YOU BETTER RUN!" Edward shouted at his retreating form. We then ran into the next person on his hit list for today. Alice was more apologizing and willing to take the punishment for her role…which was surprising when she usually tried to shift the blame on everyone else. We both forgave her but she had to promise not to bind me to any more chairs. It was then that my cellphone went off. I looked down to see my father was calling. Why was he calling my cell…he never did that unless it was something big.

"Hey dad!" I greeted

"Hey Bells." Charlie said kind of angrily. Ut oh I was in for it.

"So what's going on?" I asked a little nervous.

"I saw your status change on Spacebook…please tell me it's a joke?" Charlie said.

"Sorry Charlie its not." I said.

"I should of known you'd follow your mother's footsteps!" Charlie said.

"What?" I asked. What was he talking about…he and mom met at the diner in Forks!

"Uh never mind…but Bells I warned you not to hook up with people that you don't know!" Charlie said.

"Dad I know him…YOU KNOW HIM …he's from Forks!" I said.

" did I arrest him before?" Charlie asked. I held the phone down.

"Were you ever arrested by my father before Edward?" I asked laughing

"No…the only time I ever met the man in uniform was take your son to work day. Alice was doing a makeover but she drank too much coffee and she poked you in the eye with the eyeliner by accident or something like that." Edward said.

"oh I remember that!" I said. I should…I was blind in one eye for two weeks afterwards and Emmett was cracking pirate jokes.

"I don't!…I would never be so horrible as to do something like that…even on massive amounts of coffee." Alice said

"Alice you asked if I could have a pink eye patch with glitter on it!" I said.

"ohh!" Alice said finally remembering. I then grabbed the phone again.

"No dad you never arrested him." I said.

"is it Emmett?" he asked afraid.

"Ew that's disgusting…why would you even ask that." I said.

"alright enough of this horse shit…give me the phone!" Alice said grabbing the phone out of my hand.

"Dad…what if I told you your daughter was dating one of the two richest kids on the Olympic pennusila!" Alice said.

"She's dating a Cullen?" Charlie asked thoughtfully. I could already tell what he was thinking…free medical, early retirement, a villa in Napa Vally.

"But I thought Jasper liked-?" Charlie was cut off by Jasper coughing very loudly.

"OHH!" Charlie said finally realizing who I was talking about. Mom then grabbed the phone.

"She wants to speak to you!" Alice said handing me the phone.

"Bella are you sure its not one of your day dreams?" she asked. I could see where she was coming from there. To give her proof I handed the phone to Edward.

"Hi Mrs. Swan!" Edward said. We then heard a loud thud on the other line…Charlie was in the background singing "YES YES YES YES…I'm inn the moneyy! I'm inn the moneyy!" Alice was snickering.

"excuse him…he's wanted to be rich for a long time…he's not usually like this about money!" Alice said.

"I know I see him balancing his check book every day." Jasper said.

"What?" Alice asked.

"Nothing!" Jasper said.

"Ugh this is so embarrassing." I said blushing and hanging up the phone.

"Don't worry…whatever it takes to make him like me more!" Edward said.

"I guess your right…maybe it will make him a little easier on you!" I said.

" so what do you say we get out of here now…before we run into Emmett again and he comes up with a name for shoving me down the stair case." I said.

"I need a new purse anyways!" Alice said. Was all she thought about shopping.

"Alice you have the three new ones I brought you yesterday…and the two new ones from the day before!" Jasper said.

"I know but I need one to match my red peep toes!" Alice said. A few minutes later we launched Alice into the nearest mall. She laughed psychotically bouncing from purse to purse.

"Ooh Bella I found the perfect one for you!" Alice said from under the pile of black purses. Jasper actually had to dig her out of the pile.

"At least she didn't faint this time!" I joked. I must of spoken too soon for Alice passed out in Jasper's arms. Jasper actually passed out himself and they both landed in a pile of purses.

" oh no I think Jasper actually died!" Edward laughed looking at unconscious Jasper.

"I always wondered what he'd do if Alice ever did that!" I said. Edward snapped a picture on his cell phone.

"Jasper would want this documented." Edward said.

" he's gonna want to see this later…when he's awake." Edward said.

"I wouldn't be shocked if he sets that as his profile pic." I said

"I would…he gets all weird when you say he likes Alice…you think he would want pictures of them together everywhere!" Edward laughed. Right as he said this a loud moan came from Jasper.

"ow what happened?" Jasper asked coming to. He looked at unconscious Alice and passed out again.

"I know how to solve this!" I said shoving a purse under Alice's face. She jumped up immediately. Jasper feeling the movement jumped up too.

" a two for one shot there!" I said. Edward snickered. A embarrassed blush crossed Jasper' s face but Alice didn't catch anything. We then walked off to another part of the store . we sat and broadly watched as Alice took off like a rocket and Jasper followed her.

"What do you say we get out of here?" Edward asked.

"you read my mind!" I said grabbing his hand as we walked out of the store together. Alice would be too focused to notice we were gone. We must of walked the streets for like an hour just talking and sight seeing. We took some pictures of the sights and sounds. Of course there was the occasional goofy shots but over all they came out nice I thought. A few hours later we found ourselves sitting on a park bench somewhere watching the throngs of people walking by. Edward stroked my hair as I rested my head against his shoulder. We played the cloud game laughing at all the shapes.

"That one looks like a motor cycle!' I laughed.

"That one looks like a stick figure !" Edward said.

" hey look that one looks like a heart!" Edward said kissing my head.


	11. psycho

**i dont own twilight or its characters S/M does. Thanks for the reviews...keep them up!**

Chapter 11

BPV

Alice and Jasper found us a little while later. Jasper pulled up in the Bentley just as I was about to fall asleep in Edwards arms. Edward carried me to the car. The next thing I knew we were pulling into the mansion. He was going to undress me himself but Alice kicked him out and put my PJ's on me herself. Edward kicked her out before she could start to do a manicure on me. The last thing I remembered was the feeling of a strong set of arms wrapped around me. The bad dream didn't return. When I awoke the next morning there he was still sleeping. He looked like an angel…my own sleeping angel. The crooked smile was still on his face. I couldn't help but marvel at the perfection sleeping next to me. What had I done in life to deserve this? To deserve him? Just then his eyes popped open.

"good morning!" I smiled.

"Morning!" Edward beamed back. He pushed a lock of my hair back. After a small kiss we got up. We grabbed a set of bathrobes and walked down the stairs. As we were walking down we saw Jasper in the living room with a pink apron and a maids hat on. Gloves were on his hands and he was vacuuming a couch. The apron read "A wife's work is never done!" with a wedding band wrapped around the words.

"Allie's sleeping over tonight…Allie's sleeping over tonight…oh how I love my Al-Al!" he was singing.

"Alright I think Jasper's gone insane!" I said.

"You _think?"_ Edward laughed.

"I think that's my mother's cooking apron." Edward said looking closer.

"Hey Jasper…I though it was my day to clean?" Edward asked when Jasper spotted us.

"I know…I …um…figured what the hell. I was awake and the vacuum was there!" Jasper said too fast. Edward and I just looked at him.

"Oh Alice Alice…my one and only…Alice oh Alice…there for when I'm feeling lonely…Alice oh Alice …watching you sleep at night…Alice oh Alice your smile is so bright…Alice oh Alice you are such a delight!" Jasper sang as we entered the kitchen. I blocked Edward from the skillet.

"You made me breakfast yesterday…its only fair!" I warned as I started to make French toast. A small battle insured which I won.

"Your so stubborn!" Edward laughed digging in when I gave him his food.

"look who's talking!" I laughed.

"Stubborn can be good though!" I said.

"yes it can." Edward smiled. He kissed my hand playfully. The electricity sent a chill up my spine. We then started to make out. Jasper then came walking in.

"Better watch it Edward…she looks a little dizzy…you might actually cause her to faint!" Jasper joked.

"Coming from the one who passed out just because his crush fell on him!" Edward laughed.

"hey that was an accident!" Jasper blushed.

"he who cast stones!" I laughed. Jasper walked to the toaster and popped some bread in.

"so what are you and my sister up to for today?" I asked Jasper.

"Buying suitcases…Alice bought me so much stuff that I need to buy a third and so does she for all the new merchandise she got herself. You are so lucky Bella's not a shopaholic Edward!"Jasper said.

" that sounds…fun." Edward said

"Jasper remember keep Alice towards the normal bags for me…I know she got me stuff too…not the heavily Gucci, Prada, Fendi, Chanel or any other big designer printed bags." I said.

"Normal bags? Got it!" Jasper said. The front door then flew open.

"Hey guys Jazzy hurry up I want to hit up the shops chop chop!" Alice said walking into the kitchen. She dropped off her two suit cases on the kitchen table.

"Alice I thought your only staying one night?" I asked.

"Its called choices…oh and our makeup's in a plastic bag in one of those suitcases. When I get back you better not have a plain face on!" Alice said dragging Jasper out the front door.

"Where do we put these?" I asked gesturing to the two bags. Obviously Alice was leaving us to get her settled.

"Good question…I don't know if Jasper wants her in the guest room or in his room." Edward said as we grabbed her suitcases and headed up the stairs. We just threw everything in the guest room. We figured Jasper could move it if he didn't want her there. We then found the monstrous makeup bag that Alice packed. Edward pulled out the instructions she left.

"She's really thorough isn't she?" Edward asked as the end of the instructions hit the floor.

"That's Alice for you!" I said

"Massage coverup into skin for 15 seconds…apply lipstick at 45 degree angle…geez your sisters nuts!" Edward said reading off the list.

"Let me see that list!" I said taking the list from his hand.

"Your going to have to help me out." I said staring at the list.

" me? Why?" Edward asked.

" Because besides the fact that under the title it says "for two people" number one reads "get Edward to help you out."" I said.

"But I don't know how to do that!" Edward said.

"I think that's why she went into such detail." I said.

"You don't have to help if you don't want to…I can handle this." I said. Just then my phone went off. Alice's voice was on the other end.

"Is he chickening out?" Alice asked not even pausing to greet me.

"How do you do that?" I asked.

"it's a gift…but never mind that…you tell him he better help you out or I'll kill him…you cant be trusted with your face by yourself…and if you think I'm gonna let that bitch touch your face your wrong!" Alice sneered. We could hear Jasper on the other line.

"Alice…who are you on the phone with?" Jasper asked.

"No one!" Alice lied.

"Gotta go guys Jasper's looking at a hideous plaid suitcase…like it looks like its from the 70's! Before I go though…Edward your going to help her out or else I'm going to dress you up like a girl!" Alice said hanging up the phone. Edward looked shocked.

"Okay then…which one of these things is councilor?" Edward asked holding up a bottle of lipstick.

"I'll pass…you apply!" I said pointing to the makeup bag.

"Okay!" Edward said. As Edward was applying my eyeliner we saw a flash like someone had taken a picture of us. Emmett was running away from the room. A few minutes later Edward's phone went off. He put it on speakerphone and went off.

"Your putting her eyeliner on wrong…on her it looks good under the eye not over it." Alice said again not pausing to do a normal greeting.

"How did you know?" Edward asked.

"like I said it's a gift…just kidding…this time its on Facebook!" Alice said.

"Its on where Alice?" Edward asked shocked. Ugh how embarrassing…I especially felt bad for Edward.

"Yeah its on face book…specifically Emmett's Facebook." Alice said.

"you better finish up with Bella before you check it out though!" Alice continued. Jasper then grabbed the phone.

"Edward scratch that last thing Alice said…are you near a computer?" Jasper asked pissed. This could not be good.

"I'm in the guest room next to your bedroom." Edward said.

"Go to my room…go to my computer." Jasper said. Edward and I did what Jasper said. After we got onto face book we clicked on Emmett's profile. The newest update was a picture of Edward applying my eyeliner. The caption read_ " Ladies and Gentlemen…Edward officially came out of the closet!". _Edward wrote underneath it "_Ladies and Gentlemen…Emmett's an asshole and he's just jealous that my girlfriend actually looks like a woman unlike some other people…not gonna say names!" _a second later a comment from Kate popped up.

"wanna make fun of my femininity Edward when your girlfriend doesn't even know how to use an eye pencil or any makeup for that matter!" it read. Edward was in the middle of typing "Did I say your name?" when Alice's comment popped up.

"Kate I wouldn't suggest you make fun of my sister or her friends…I have a picture of you that you wouldn't want on face book…and Emmett….you post one more thing about my sister or anyone she cares for and I'll go to any college you get accepted to and tell them you shoot up HGH…you'll be kicked off the football team before you can say linebacker!" Alice wrote.

"Yeah right you don't have a picture of me…you don't scare me little midge…dwarf…you look like your five years old…no wonder why your parents abandoned you…NO ONE WANTS YOU!" Kate wrote back.

"FUCK YOU!" Jasper wrote back. Just then we got a text message saying to go to Alice's page. The newest picture was a sideways shot of Kate…tissue coming out of her bra and her stuffing tissue in the rear of her underwear. The caption was " THIS COMING FROM THE GIRL WHO CALLED ME A FIVE YEAR OLD…LAST TIME I CHECKED I DIDN'T HAVE TO STUFF MY BOOBS AND MY ASS TO HAVE A FIGURE!" tons of people started liking the picture and the caption. I noticed Jasper was number one and Alice was number two on a list of like 30 people that liked the picture. We heard Kate scream in anger and a crashing noise. She then rampaged upstairs.

"WHERE IS THAT LITTLE ALCOHOLIC WEIRDO…IM GONNA KICK HER ASS!" Kate roared. She then kicked the door down.

"YOU…YOU'RE THE CAUSE OF ALL THIS!" Kate snarled at me.

"Actually your boyfriend is!" I said.

"MAYBE IF YOU HAD WATCHED WHERE YOU WERE GOING THAT DAY IN THE STREET WE WOULDN'T BE HERE RIGHT NOW…OR BETTER YET I WISH YOU_ DIED_ WHEN HE HIT YOU!" Kate roared . It was then that something really strange happened. Emmett got mad…really mad.

"You know you really are a bitch! Everyone told me that you were a bitch but I didn't know what they were talking about! I see now. I know I've done some fucked up shit but I've never wished death on someone to their face…your one fucked up bitch!" Emmett said pissed. Edward and I looked at each other shocked.

"it's a miracle…Emmett saw the light!" Edward gasped. Kate looked at a loss for word.

"What did you say to me Emmett?" Kate said giving Emmett a death glare.

"you heard me…your one sick bitch!" Emmett said. That then started a half hour fight between Emmett and Kate. Edward and I snuck out and went downstairs where Edward cleaned up the smashed lap top. Luckily it was Kate's own laptop that she smashed up.

"I am so sorry about that!' Edward said…his eyes smoldering.

Don't be…its not your fault!" I said. Just then the front door opened up. Jasper and Alice's face changed from happy to serious as they entered the house.

"boy is there a chill in here…someone obviously isn't happy!" Jasper said.

"Isn't it kind of hypocritical for Emmett to be mad at Kate when he's done all that stuff to me?" I asked Edward.

"Listen I cant read minds but I could however read Emmett's face today and I think that everything in the past Emmett's done to you…he really didn't mean to actually hurt you…he just has a fucked up sense of humor…not to mention he has super bitch talking shit about you all day long in his ear so he's gonna do dumb things to impress her…but he saw today Kate's true colors and how malicious she really is and he must of realized how he came off doing all that stuff to you. My guess from now on is that Emmett and Kate's relationship is going to fall apart and he's steadily going to be nice to you…also he was probably extremely embarrassed by that picture because Emmett's image is extremely important to him. So since Kate looks like a joke now…"

"Ooh…glad to know I played a roll in the end of Emmett and Kate!" Alice said happily.

"Honestly though how many of us thought that the most pompous couple in school would last?" Alice asked. Just then we saw Kate coming down the stairs with luggage. She threw her carryon at me and Alice . Jasper ran in front of Alice and blocked it.

"BITCH!" Jasper snorted.

"Don't let the door hit ya in the ass…oh wait you don't have one!" Jasper laughed as she left.

"Jazzy want to do me a favor tonight…I think I could go for some yogurt!" Alice said winking.

"of course…blow torch, scissors, dye, or grape juice?" Jasper asked happily.

" surprise me!" Alice said. I had a funny feeling not to turn the news on tomorrow.

"Alright little lady…got the ski masks?" Jasper asked.

"And the cameo outfits!" Alice said.

" Lets do this shit…no one throws luggage at my Allie!" Jasper said running up the stairs.

"Wait a minute I'm missing a part of the story here…Emmett flipped out on _Kate?_" Alice asked turning towards Edward and I.

"Yeah…called her a bitch and said he finally saw through her!" I said.

"Yeah I basically got that part…but why?" Alice asked.

"She said she wished I died when Edward ran me over." I said. Alice's eyes blazed with anger.

"JASPER GOT ANY NUMB CHUCKS…THIS CALLS FOR DRASTIC MEASURES!" Alice snarled running after Jasper. When we next saw them Alice was wearing inconspicuous brass knuckles. "Gucci" was written across them. If I hadn't known any better I would of thought they were rings.

"NO ONE WISHES DEATH ON MY BEST FRIEND…SHES GOING TO _WISH _SHE NEVER SAID THAT!" Alice said running out the door. We shrugged and followed her to make sure she didn't kill anybody.

"ALICE SLOW DOWN!" Jasper shouted as Alice drove down the road in the Bentley at like 200 mph.

"We don't even know where she's staying!" Jasper said.

"I know exactly where she's staying…I pinged her cellphone to my GPS!" Alice said swerving into town. Alice whipped the car into the Holliday inn just as Kate was unloading her stuff. Alice skidded into the spot next to hers and jumped out.

"WISH DEATH ON MY SISTER…WHAT DID SHE EVER DO TO YOU….YOURSELF!" Alice said punching Kate in the face. Gucci was now imprinted across her left cheek.

" AND THEN THROWING STUFF AT ME AND MY SISTER…ASSHOLE!" Alice roared continuing the attack. Alice was out for blood. Id never seen her so pissed before.

"That's my Al-Al!" Jasper beamed with pride as Alice attempted to pull Kate's hair out. Kate threw Alice to the ground and attempted to punch and kick her…which was when Alice pulled out the pepper spray. It hit Kate directly in the eye.

"OWW MY EYES!" Kate screamed stumbling and falling on her car. It was then that the cops showed up. Apparently the manager saw Alice and called the cops. One cop knew English fluently so Alice didn't need to speak Italian.

"Officer I swear I'll never do it again. Its just that she said she wished my sister died!" Alice said as they lead her into the squad car. Ugh I was gonna have to call my father!

Alice spent the night in jail before Kate called and dropped the charges. Apparently after I called my father…he called her and threatened to charge her with assault for an incident involving me and her a couple of months ago. He had let her go because of some lie she concocted. Alice skipped out of the jail cell.

" I love the fact that Charlie's the head cop in Forks…prison orange isn't exactly my color!" Alice said bouncing to the car once we recounted the story that my father told us.

"Dad said though this is absolutely your last freebee…inside or out side the united states." I said.

"I will do anything to avoid that dingy Jail cell…scouts honor!" Alice said

"you have to admit though the Gucci thing was awesome…now every time she looks in the mirror or takes a picture of herself she'll have something to remember me by!" Alice laughed.

"only you Alice would get arrested in another country and still use Charlie's clout to get off!" I said.

"I know…I guess we're lucky Kate was from Forks…so what's the scoop speaking of Kate!" Alice said.

"Spent the night at the Holliday inn…by herself. Tried to insight rage against you on Facebook…all that did was set up a "Free Alice Swan" web page that's had at least 1 million hits at last count…some people pledged to send money for your defense…you would have had $250,000 to play with if Charlie hadn't stepped in and told everyone what he did." I said.

"Damn I could of gotten my Porsche!" Alice groaned.

"well you win some you lose some…I cant believe that she actually tried to do that though!" Alice carried on.

"yeah well she's a psycho…I've always said it!" Jasper said. It was then we left for the mansion. When we got in we stood there shocked. Emmett and Kate were fighting again…and from the words Emmett was using he was actually happy about what Alice did to Kate's face. They both left the house at that point…taking separate cars. The four of us then went into the kitchen. Alice was looking at the webcam near the computer in there.

"Can anyone show me how to use skype…I've always been curious?" Alice asked.

"Sure!" Jasper said walking over to her. Just then a box popped up. Tanya's face was looking through.

"HI EDDIEKINS…ITS TANYA…YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHERE I AM…IM ON MY WAY TO YOUR HOUSE…I GRABBED A TAXI!" Tanya said. She shifted the camera to reveal very…very familiar terrain. Alice's rental Porsche…the only car in the driveway…came into view!

" YOUR MANSIONS SO BEAUTIFUL…I CANT WAIT TO PLAY MRS. EDWARD CULLEN…LOVE YA BABY!" Tanya said as the screen went black. We could hear tire tracks start down the driveway.

"OH NO IT'S THE OTHER BITCH…QUICK…THE WINDOW…IF WE CAN MAKE IT TO THE WOODS WE'LL BE ALL SET UNTILL SHE LEAVES!" Jasper said pointing to the window…geez we're not home five minutes and we already have to leave! Edward grabbed me and we were the first out the window. The four of us took off to the woods…hearing Tanya's voice in the distance. This was my dream allover again. While I knew Edward would never go back to her…she actually showed up in Italy with the intent of getting Edward back. Jaspers skills in hiding came into good use here. We were able to see the house with out being seen.

"Ouch I think I'm laying on a stick!" Alice said as we watched Tanya start to look outside.

"Always remain quiet when the Enemy is a foot!" Jasper said placing his hand over Alice's mouth. Jasper looked like he was at war or something. Edward looked at him.

"What? Some of us were actually listening to Grandpa Cullen's survival tips!" Jasper said

"Ooh she's getting back into the taxi…we can get our stuff and run now! Alice can we use your room at the hotel tonight?" Jasper asked.

"Sure no problem…but should we get another room?" Alice asked looking pointedly at me and Edward.

"No we don't mind sharing!" Edward and I said together. Alice nodded and the minute the taxi pulled out we ran. The boys packed at lightning speed while Alice closed our suitcases. We threw everything in Alice's Porsche and crammed in. Jasper was going to follow us the minute Emmett returned…he called him as we left.

"Thank god we still have the room!" Alice said as we pulled into the hotel parking lot.

"I know!" I said. My father was a lifesaver even if he didn't mean it sometimes! Edward and I threw our hoods up and walked inside as Alice went to hide/park the car in the next parking lot. We ran into the hotel room and locked the door. A few minutes later there was a knock. I went to the peep hole…I know it seems ridiculous but we couldn't take chances. Alice waived and we let her in.

"So what are we going to do for sleeping arrangements…I mean would Jasper mind sleeping next to Alice or what?" I asked. Just then there was another knock…it was Jasper. We let him in.

" so sleeping agangements?' I repeated myself.

"I call dibs next to Alice!" Jasper said. He looked like Christmas had come early. That answered that question. Edward and I looked at each other and smiled. Jasper laid out on Alice's bed. Alice looked confused but brushed it off…after all this time she still didn't know that Jasper stalked her.

"So Jasper you didn't give Emmett our room number did you?" Edward asked.

"Oh no…Emmett thinks we're staying in those condos right down the street…I walked here!" Jasper said.

"Jasper you walked a half a mile here with that?" I asked pointing to his army style backpack…there wasn't enough room for it in Alice's trunk.

"yep…it wasn't that bad though…and if it keeps my Al-Al out of prison again!" Jasper said.

"Aww Jazzy's always thinking!" Alice said. Jasper smiled. We turned on the television and watched "Confessions of a shopaholic". Alice seemed raptured by the movie though it was in English subtitles and Jasper seemed just as interested in Alice. In a poor attempt to hide it he tried to look at the screen but Edward and I caught him staring when he thought Alice was too into the movie to notice. Also it was dead obvious when Alice was the only one laughing at certain points. After that we headed down to the restaurant and grabbed dinner. We all grabbed spagetti and meatballs with glasses of wine. We then made our way to the hotel swimming pool. Edward and I went off into the sauna while Alice and Jasper went into the Jaccuzi. I rested my head against his shoulder and was lost in the depths of his striking green eyes. We then kissed and we were both lost in the flames of passion. 15 minutes later Jasper opened the door.

"Are you guys gonna get out or am I gonna have to call some-oh damn…sorry!" Jasper said covering his eyes as Edward and I threw our bathing suits back on. Alice's head popped in.

"DAMN I MISS EVERYTHING!…we're gonna talk later Bella!" Alice said looking at me. Great I was in for it!

"Alice I would really appreciate it if you didn't interrogate my girlfriend about things that are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Edward said. Alice pouted at him.

"She is my sister Edward…I have a right to know!" Alice said.

"Alice even you know that's just an excuse to justify your actions!" Edward said. Alice looked like she was regretting saying that!


	12. Dreams vs Reality

__

**i dont own twilight or its characters S/M does. Thanks for the reviews...keep them up!**

Chapter 12

BPV

That night we went back to our rooms and I fell asleep in Edwards arms. We were awakened in the middle of the night by Alice and Jasper talking to each other in their sleep. If it wasn't about shopping it would have been kind of cute. Edward and I had to cover our mouths to keep from laughing.

"Jazzy I want the blue one!" Alice said.

"Then buy it!" Jasper said.

"but I ran out of money and my credit cards are missing!" Alice whined.

"I'll buy it for you then!" Jasper said. We should of reconsidered getting the second room. Slowly but surely their conversation died out. I rested my head on Edwards chest and drifted back off to sleep. I awoke to Edwards angelic face smiling at me. The room was quiet which meant the other two already headed down to breakfast.

"morning!" Edward smiled my favorite smile.

"Good morning!" I smiled kissing Edwards cheek. Edward lightly stroked his finger against my face. He eyed my cast out for a second with a painful expression . I refocused his attention on my face.

"I'm soo-" I cut Edward off.

"shush don't speak!" I said kissing him. I could of spent the rest of my life not moving from this spot and I wouldn't of regretted anything. Edward held me close as I nestled under his chin. It was then that Jasper walked in beaming.

"aren't we so lucky that Tanya and my numbers are one digit off from each other…the hotel that she's staying at made a mistake and gave me her wakeup call…SHES NOT STAYING AT THE MANSION…WE CAN GO HOME…ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS CHANGE THE LOCKS!" Jasper beamed happily.

" I don't know…that sounds like a trap!" I said.

"Jasper she dated your brother…don't you think she knew your number…knew how close it was to HERS!" I said.

"Actually I never gave her my number…and I don't think Edward did either…I made him swear not to incase of a circumstance like this." Jasper said.

"Still I don't like this…she was in your house and she's one tapped bitch." I said.

"your right…I'll inspect everything when we get back in." Jasper said.

"I'll help you!" Edward volunteered looking at me. Jasper nodded in understanding.

"So now that we're all holed up here for at least the next few minutes…outta my way!" Alice said grabbing me and running towards the bathroom. She shoved me in the shower and attacked me with makeup and a blow dryer once I got out. She already had a little blue sun dress the color of my cast sitting on the door hook. Behind it was Alice's outfit…a Chanel leather jacket that she picked up on the vacation, a white blousy tank top and black jeans. Alice pulled out the works…it took her two and a half hours to finish me up.

"ALICE!" Edward said knocking on the door.

"Hold your horses…your not helping!" Alice said adding glitter to my hair.

"So about last night…how was it?" Alice asked. I turned beet red. The door knob jingled.

"Edward…you'll have your girlfriend back in a minute!" Alice said. The jingling stopped.

"I saw the blush…I want details!" Alice said.

"Alice lets not start that again!" I groaned. The minute Alice unlocked the door Edward came in and walked out with me.

"No ties to hold her down this time!" Edward laughed. Alice playfully stuck her tongue out at him. We sat and waited for Alice to get herself ready. Edward and I started to feel hungry so we found a little café and got breakfast. Little did we know Emmett was sitting at the next table with the Regina George wannabe. It looked like they were trying to reconcile…well Kate was anyways. The minute I walked in she shot a death glare at me…Gucci still visible on her cheek through the like twenty pounds of councilor that she used to try and hide it. Alice really did inflict a lot of damage with that punch. She jumped a little and turned back towards Emmett. Edward and I took seats as far away as possible. Kate got up to leave a half hour later. I could see her glaring as she stopped in front of our table.

"See ya around Eddie…once Tanya's back in the picture we're gonna have to hang out. Ugh bye little soon to be ex girlfriend!" Kate said rolling her eyes and turning towards the exit. Edward threw her a death glare.

"Wouldn't doubt if _she's _been speaking to Tanya!" Edward said disgusted.

"actually that was my doing…trust me I wish I hadn't…I'm sorry." Emmett said from behind us.

"Emmett why would you do such a thing?" Edward asked mad.

"it was in the beginning of the trip…the night you kicked us out…I didn't know what else to do…and then the fire happened and I tried to get her to cancel the trip because you guys took us back in and she already got herself booked on a flight and everything. I'm really sorry for everything!" Emmett said. For once in my life I could actually see sincerity in his face and hear it in his voice. Emmett was actually apologizing for something he did? I wondered if he was visited by three ghosts sometime this week. Edward and I stared at each other for a second.

"Oh Emmett!" Edward said shaking his head.

"Edward its alright…we'll just have to deal with the repercussions…Emmett you really do need to think before you act sometimes!" I said.

"I know I know!" Emmett said.

"Well I'll be back at the house!" Emmett said getting up to leave.

"We're going to be out for the day with Alice and Jasper…we'll see you later?" Edward said.

"Alice has you in her cross hairs…good luck!" Emmett laughed walking away.

"Well that was weird!" Edward said.

"Yeah Emmett never…" I started up. Edward finished my sentence.

"apologizes?" Edward said.

"You think the HGH finally made him insane?" I asked.

"I don't think so…I think its what I said the other day…a genuine attempt to be nice." Edward said. It was then that we got up and headed back to get Alice and Jasper.

"Emmett WHAT?" Jasper gasped when we told them what happened

"Emmett never apologizes for anything!" Alice said running to the window.

"Alice what are you doing?" I asked.

"Looking for fire and brimstone…it has to be the end of the world if Emmett actually felt guilty for something!" Alice said.

"Alice!" We all laughed.

"So we're all together…lets head out shopping now!" Alice said bouncing towards the door.

"Hold your horses Alice…your Porsche can fit three people max and there are four of us!" I said.

"No problemo…I'll take a taxi back to the house and grab the Bentley…you said that Emmett's going to be home all day…I'll just get the keys from him." Jasper said. He was gone in the blink of an eye. A half hour later the Bentley pulled into the hotel parking lot. Jasper threw it in park, got out, and jumped into the Porsche with Alice. They followed behind us. Edward placed his hand over mine after throwing the car into drive.

We were walking down the street holding hands when Tanya appeared out of nowhere. Edward grabbed my hand and we tried to keep walking but Tanya blocked our way. The place looked oddly familiar. I looked around but there was no sign of Alice or Jasper…damn it they still didn't leave Prada yet?

"Edward I want you back…come here with me!" Tanya said. Oh no…it was the dream all over again. I could feel my jaw slightly drop. Edward took a step forward. I knew it…Tanya was a lot better and prettier then I was.

"I'm sorry Tanya but like hell will I ever get back with you…I'm with Bella…I moved on…and I'm happier now then I ever was with you…shove off!" Edward said annoyed. He stepped back and held my hand. Tanya looked at us disgusted.

"Whatever Edward…you know you want this…you'll be crawling back in a month or so!" Tanya said pulling her shirt down and her miniskirt up. Edward shivered.

"look you psychotic freak…I. Will. Never. Come. Back. To . You. I would rather drink arsenic then get back together with you. We could be the last two people on earth and I wouldn't even think about touching you. You're the one who decided to hook up with the Latino porn star…you're the one who decided to move to fricken Florida…and you expect me to forget everything and just take you back? We are over and done with…case closed!" Edward growled.

"Oh Eddie you know you miss Tan Tan…and I mean Bella Swan…look at her…she's so plain!" Tanya said pointing to my face. Just then I got a text from Alice.

"HOLD ON BELLA WE'RE COMING…WE HAVE A PLAN!" Alice sent.

"How did you know?" I sent back.

"it's a gift…jk we saw from the window in Prada!" Alice sent.

"Just because someone's not like you doesn't mean their plain…Bella has a lot more to offer then you ever would!" Edward said looking at Tanya disgusted.

"Like what?" Tanya said snobbish.

"Bella's writing talent will make her famous one day…mock my words…you…your talents will get you a cosmetics job at Wal-Mart!" Edward snarled. Tanya looked really insulted.

"EW ITS YOU!" Jasper shouted and gagged at the same time. Alice and Jasper then appeared out of nowhere…Alice wearing her brass knuckles.

"EW ITS _YOU!_" Tanya said back.

"Ugh that's an insult to t-shirts everywhere…I mean that V-neck almost reaches your belly button!" Alice said grossed out.

"shut up you little elf…like you would have the strength to take me down!" Tanya said.

"At least I'm not the jolly green giant…and by the way your cousin said the same thing before I punched her lights out." Alice said.

"id love to see you try!" Tanya snarled.

"Alright….this little elf is gonna kick your ass!" Alice said pissed. Next thing we knew Alice's new purse swung through the air and hit her in the face.

"I've been waiting for this day for four years!" Alice said decking Tanya in the face.

"THIS IS FOR THE TIME YOU THREW MILK ON MY SISTER…THIS IS FOR THE TIME YOU TRIED TO KILL MY SISTER, AND THIS IS FOR THE TIME YOU CUT MY HAIR OFF…IT STILL HASN'T BEEN THE SAME!" Alice roared punching Tanya repeatedly.

"Tried to kill you?" Edward asked. I then told the story.

_Flashback._

_It was right before Edward and Jasper moved to Forks. Emmett and Kate had just started dating and Emmett was out to impress her…which meant this was the worst period of my life. I was heading to school with Alice in her truck behind me . The light had just turned green and I was in the middle of the intersection when Emmett's Jeep plowed into me. Seeing Alice in the car behind me the Jeep went to take off. Alice hit the gas and t-boned the Jeep._

_"Oops sorry!" Alice said fakely while walking to the driver side window. Emmett looked scared._

_"What's this?" Alice said reaching in and grabbing a paper._

_"A plot to kill Bella Swan…YOU PLANNED TO KILL MY SISTER!" Alice roared disgusted._

_"It was Tanya's plan!" Emmett whined. Two sets of hands whacked him at this point._

_"Step one…Crash into truck. Step two…have Emmett take into Jeep. Step three…ditch truck. Step four…take HGH shot for super human strength…geez wonder who wrote the plans out Emmett…your grammar sucks!" Alice said disgusted. I started to slip unconscious at this point. When I woke up I learned that they couldn't be charged because they were arguing that the accident…was just that…an accident. They also claimed that they didn't know how the list got into their possession which meant that Charlie couldn't press charges. Charlie was considering hunting them down himself._

_"Baby I promise Daddy will get those sons a bitches for this!" Charlie warned. Next time Emmett was arrested for drunken disorderly conduct Charlie went full throttle._

_APV_

_I was in the car planning Bella's outfit for tomorrow. She would look great in that dark blue blouse that I had just picked up for her over the weekend…thank god they didn't catch me shoplifting that time! I had been able to remove the security tag with ease since I waited until someone left the check out counter and quickly left the store. I made a mental note to remember to do that for next time. I was driving right behind Bella when Emmett's Jeep…which I knew from anywhere since his license plate was "Sports 4 Eva" …plowed right into her. I saw Emmett's eyes dart to me and a look of fear crossed his face. Tan-hoe was in the back seat staring at me too. The Jeep took off but didn't even get 10 feet before I smashed into him. The look on Emmett's face was priceless as my bumper was rammed up his ass…he looked like he was going to shit himself. I quickly got out and walked to his window_

_"Oops…sorry!" I said. To tell the truth I wasn't sorry. I had a feeling that Emmett hitting Bella's car was no accident. This by far was one of the best things I've done to defend my sister…who cares if my car got wrecked…I can get a new car…I cant get another Bella. It was then that a pile of papers caught my eye…it had my sisters name on top. I picked the top one up and flipped out. I always knew Emmett was an asshole…but to try and kill some one? That was a new low even for him! I looked as the two hoes slapped Emmett. I then read off the list…it was dead obvious that Emmett wrote this…the grammar skills were of a kindergartener._

_"Your disgusting…I'm calling my father!" I said pissed. I whipped out my cellphone and called the police. Charlie looked like a pit bull when he came on the scene._

_"Chief it was horrible…someone broke into Emmett's car last night and planted that list in there. Honestly we're shocked and appalled…we were coming to see you!" Tanya was crying. I could tell my father didn't believe them but he still had to investigate their claim…which meant that they were going to go free. The thought made me nauseated. I couldn't wait to be alone with the two conniving bitches. Emmett was too idiotic to come up with the plan himself but he was dumb enough to follow._

End of flashback

BPV

"THAT'S NOT TRUE EDDIE…WE WERE SET UP!" Tanya pleaded. Jasper and Edward threw disgusted looks at her.

" Really…then why was the list in Emmett's exact hand writing!" Alice said taking out a piece of paper and handing it to Edward. Charlie had let Alice hold on to the list in case of a situation like this.

"This isn't Emmett's handwriting." Edward said.

"What?" Alice asked shocked.

"Emmett always adds little footballs over his I's." Edward said.

"SEE!" Tanya said.

"This is YOURS!" Edward said pointing to Tanya. Alice's eyes blazed in anger.

"see the t's done in cursive while everything else messy but in print…trade mark Tanya." Edward said.

"Your right I totally didn't notice that or the missing footballs." Alice said as she raised her head up from the paper to shoot death glares at Tanya.

"I always knew you were a cold hearted son of a bitch!" Jasper spat.

"You know what Tanya…this is just more proof of how grotesque you are. I'm not putting up with your bullshit any more and neither is Bella. Common guys lets get out of here!" Edward said as we started to walk away. Alice gave one last swing and knocked Tanya to the ground.


	13. The ex from hell

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**i dont own twilight or its characters S/M does. Thanks for the reviews...keep them up!**

Chapter 13

BPV.

We arrived back at the mansion a couple of hours later. Emmett was sitting by himself in a robe watching TV with a bottle of vodka sitting next to him. I guessed that he hadn't reconciled with Kate yet. Edward groaned. A drunken upset Emmett becomes a belligerent Emmett…which was like a guerrilla coming after you. Jasper looked at all of us and then went to the bottle.

"Oh hey I've been looking for that…Alice and I want to have a few drinks…you don't mind if we…?" Jasper said.

"Touch that bottle and you die!" Emmett slurred. Jasper jumped back

"Emmett I think you've had enough!" Jasper said grabbing the bottle. Emmett's eyes blazed in a way that I had just seen a few hours ago. This was not going to be good. Emmett lunged at Jasper but Jasper was too quick. Jasper jumped out of the way and Emmett ran into a wall. His head went through a picture frame where Dr. Cullen's head was supposed to be. The picture frame was stuck around Emmett's head. You could see little nicks on his face. He sat on the floor stunned.

"Oh boy…how do we tell dad this one…oh well he's not coming back here till next year. I'm sure we can come up with a lie!" Jasper said as he and Edward went to help Emmett out. They half dragged Emmett up the stairs and to bed. From the sound of it they locked the door.

" well we had to bind Emmett to the bed but that should be taken care of. Now down to business!" Jasper said as he and Edward started to inspect the house for anything Tanya might of done to it. . In Jasper's room they found a dart board with my face on it . How original…not! In our room they found a camera and a love note signed "The future Tanya Cullen 3"

" Eddiekins…I miss you! You know we're compatible…blah blah blah and a bunch of bullshit…I always pictured us in a mansion with a white picket fence. Me with a fifteen ct diamond ring and you in a sexy Armani suit…together we rule the world…geez Bella your dreams are better then this…so generic!" Alice said reading the letter out loud.

"you know I always sensed that she was a gold digger!" Edward said.

"Listen guys…she's one sick individual. She tried to kill Bella once for just being her. Now that Bella has something that she wants…I think we should really be concerned for her safety. Of all nights idiot had to get inhaliated…we could of easily got his help…he had inside knowledge on the original plan!" Jasper said. I knew why he was really concerned…me being in danger put Alice in danger.

"your right." Edward nodded holding me close.

"ugh common…I'm hungry lets eat!" Alice said walking into the kitchen. Edward and I did stir-fry for everyone tonight.

"Yum Broccoli!" Alice said digging in. we spent the rest of the night talking about the amazing bag that Alice saw in Prada that day.

"and then I found the perfect scarf for you Bella…it would have been amazing with that dress your wearing right now!" Alice was going on. Alice and I then went to check our face books. We both had messages from dad…and Alice had massive amounts of comments on that bad pic of Kate. Some were questions about what Italian jail was like and stuff like that. Alice smiled and responded " will answer any questions in person…don't want to spoil my story too much!"

"Only you Alice!" we all laughed.

"its not my fault Kate talked about me online!" Alice said.

" I love Italy…you know we should come back some time…all of us with the exception of the two witches. Think about it…Italy pt 2!" Alice said wiggling her eyebrows. We were going to be leaving in a few days. Jasper managed to change the boys flight number but not Emmett's or Kate's. We were afraid to tell him though.

"there's always next year!" Jasper said with a hopeful tone.

"next summer…ooh gonna have to save!" Alice started to squeal.

"so which room is mine?" Alice asked walking up the stairs.

"The guest bedroom next to mine!" Jasper said. I could see planning in his eyes. I had a feeling that Jasper was going to be "checking up" on Alice many times tonight.

"Good to know" Alice said bringing her suitcases up the stairs.

"OMG I TOTALLY LOVE THE SIZE OF THE CLOSET…I COULD FIT MY ROOM IN HERE!" Alice shouted from upstairs. Alice would say something like that. It was then that we all went upstairs.

"Good night everybody!" Jasper said closing his hand on Alice's door knob.

"Oops wrong room!" Jasper said running into his own. As I was falling asleep in Edwards arms we heard him sneak into Alice's room.

I awoke in the middle of the night with the feeling that something was wrong. At first I thought that it was because Edwards arms were no longer around me but then I realized that it was because I was upside down. I could hear muffled crying coming from Edward and what sounded like two girls sadistically laughing. I started to cry out but the duck tape over my mouth muffled my screams. I tried to punch and kick but my hands and feet were bound. I could hear Edward struggling from the bed.

"BELLA…SOMEONE HELP!" Edward was screaming but it came out extremely muffled. I doubted anyone could hear it outside the room. I looked to see his eyes glistening in sadness and rage. We looked at each other scared. I tried to reach out but couldn't get much.

" Eddiekins…you want your girlfriend back?…you know what you have to do. You better think fast or she just might have a little accident!" Tanya threatened taking out a gun. Edward stared horrified. God please don't let me die…please! I started to shiver over Tanya's soaking wet clothes. I tried to scream but the god damn gag cut everything off. Edward was struggling even more frantically then before.

" TANYA I SWEAR TO GOD YOU HURT ONE HAIR ON HER HEAD AND I WILL RIP YOU APART LIMB FROM LIMB!" Edward shouted muffled.

"Ooh scary!" Tanya said running out of the room with me on her shoulder. Kate was sneering at me from behind Tanya. Surprisingly I was more angry then scared. I felt a tear slide from my eyes.

"SUCCESS!" Tanya said as the elevator descended. I could not believe this was happening to me. I couldn't die like this…I couldn't leave my parents, Alice…or Edward. It was then that I realized that I could not live with out him…I couldn't be with out him.

"Perfect…revenge against Alice and Edward…teaches her to ruin this face!" Kate said as I was forced out of the elevator

"yes…who does she think she is doing that to us!" Tanya said patting her bruised face.

" fuck that drunken elf!" Kate said. Oh if only I wasn't bound!

" Shush Kate…she's around…and she's a black belt…watch what you say!" Tanya whispered. Kate rolled her eyes.

"Black belt smack belt…whatever!" Kate said rolling her eyes.

"alright we came through there!" Tanya said pointing in the dark. I felt the pain of a closed fist and everything went black.

JPV.

I was sitting watching my Allie sleep. She was dreaming about us shopping at Fendi together. Oh how I loved the fruits of her imagination! Alice's guest room had a perfect view of the pool. As I watched my angel sleep something outside caught my eye. Walking to the window I could see two figures wading in the pool. One looked like it was carrying a heavy load. I grabbed the binoculars that I used to spy on Alice with and looked at the pool again. I could see the wicked Bitches of the east and west heading out of the pool. I got a closer look at Tanya and saw chestnut hair spilled everywhere.

"ALICE!" I screamed shaking Alice.

"ALICE WAKE UP….YOUR SISTER…YOUR SISTER!" I shouted unable to get out what I had to say.

"Jazzy what are you doing here?" Alice said slowly waking up.

"Never mind that…your sister…your sister's in trouble!" I gasped. Alice sprang up.

"BELLA…WHAT HAPPENED? IS SHE ALRIGHT?" Alice started asking a million questions.

" I don't know…Tanya took her!" I said as we ran into Edwards bedroom. When I opened the door I almost stopped dead in my tracks. My brother was duck taped to the bed and trying to free himself. He already had one hand free and was working on the other. He quickly freed himself and jumped out of bed. The three of us ran down the stairs and out the door. We bolted to the Bentley and flew out of the driveway. We quickly caught up to them…they stole Alice's rental Porsche.

EPV.

I hit the gas until we were on their back bumper. I reached into the glove department for my "anti theft device"…a 9mm hand gun. I couldn't believe this…even I didn't realize my ex was that deranged. The minute she stopped I was going to kill her. I surely would have Alice as an ally.

"IM GONNA BREAK THEIR FUCKING NECKS FOR THIS…NO ONE DOES THAT TO ALICE SWAN!" Alice was roaring…her Gucci brass knuckles shined in the light. She was dressed up like DELTA FORCE. I didn't know how she did it but she managed to sneak clothes in the back of the Bentley.

"do you think one of us should call Emmett…I mean he's gonna realize when he wakes up that he's alone and tied to a bed!" Jasper said.

"Jasper what can he do? As you said he's tied to a bed!" I said.

"Besides I can take those two down easily!" Alice snarled. Just then the Porsche pulled off into a dirt road. Alice patted her flashlight. They took her to an old hotel that wasn't used any more. Because it was so dark and we didn't have headlights on we lost them. A few minutes later we passed the Porsche abandoned in the middle of the road. We swerved around it and pulled into the small parking lot of the hotel. Knowing Tanya and Kate they probably wanted us to think she was in the woods or something like that but they were too stupid for their own good. We heard their voices laughing about how stupid we were…that they were really going to the hotel . As we pulled into the hotel they were no where to be seen. I ran immediately inside searching every room. I found them in an empty locker room that was attached to the drained pool. They were debating what to do with her…Tanya pointing a gun to my unconscious girlfriend. I lost it at that point and flew at Tanya…effectively knocking the gun out of her hand.

" GET OFF MY SISTER YOU SCUMBAG!" Alice shouted punching Kate in the face. Jasper untied Bella while Alice and I took on Kate and Tanya. After seeing the damage that she could inflict I was reminded not to get on Alice's bad side. We shoved Tanya and Kate into some broken lockers that locked when we shut the door.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR FUCKING WITH ALICE SWANS SISTER!" Alice said shoving perfume into one of the lockers and spraying it. Kate cried "MY EYES!" I grabbed Bella from Jaspers arms and headed out the door. I could hear them kicking the lockers as I left.

BPV.

I could hear the voices first. Edward sounded concerned…Alice sounded pissed. Though they weren't related biologically she and my father had the same personality.

"Bella…please come back…if you can hear me follow my voice!" Edward pleaded.

"IF THEY DID _ANYTHING _TO HER I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL RIP THEIR THROATS OUT!" Alice was roaring. Alice sounded like she was on a rampage.

" I'll be right behind you Alice!" Edward growled. It was then that my eyes flickered open. I was greeted by the most beautiful sight ever…Edwards crooked smile. We were back home in the bedroom. Chairs were on either side of the bed. Emmett was sleeping on the couch.

"You gave us quite a scare…I don't think I've ever seen Emmett concerned over anyone that's not himself before!" Edward said pointing to the couch. Alice was staring down the closet and Jasper was playing with some shot glasses on Edwards piano.

"How long was I out for?" I asked.

"Oh a little under 2 days." Edward said. I started to calculate. Damn we were leaving tomorrow!


	14. The flight home

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**i dont own twilight or its characters S/M does. Thanks for the reviews...keep them up!**

Chapter 14

BPV.

Edward and I woke up early the next morning. We grabbed the already packed suitcases and headed downstairs for breakfast. As we were eating toast Emmett bolted down the stairs.

"Gotta go…gotta go…we're going to miss our flight!" Emmett was saying…we were going to leave early …Emmett still believed that they were taking the earlier flight. Edward and I looked at each other.

"Shower's free…so how are we going to di-oh hey Emmett!" Jasper said as we soundlessly pointed at Emmett.

" Okay…Race you up there?" Edward asked looking at me.

"Ew not using that shower anymore!" Emmett said as we left. I heard a smacking sound and Emmett crying as I headed upstairs. Jasper was truly meant for Alice…even if she didn't know it yet. Then I went into the shower and Edwards waiting arms.

"Okay lovebirds times up…I need my sister for a makeover and we do need to make our plane you know!" Alice said knocking on the door ten minutes later. Edward and I broke apart when we heard the door unlock.

"I'm waiting!" Alice called from the doorway. How annoying! I reached for towels to cover us both up and we stepped out.

Alright I promise you guys…you will not regret this!" Alice said dragging me away. She immediately went to work.

"your so lucky you just have an egg and not a black eye or something like that…all I have to do is shift your part and Charlie need not know what happened!" Alice said playing with my hair. For over a half hour she primped and primed away. I swore smoke flew from her hand.

"Don't flinch !" Alice said pulling the hot wax strips off my eyebrows.

"Alice your…" I said staring at myself. Alice finished my sentence.

"a genius…tell me something I don't know…and your very welcome!" Alice winked.

"you know I'm gonna miss this makeup stand…its so pretty!" Alice sighed as we left the room for the last time.

We walked down the stairs…Alice dressed like she was Jackie O or something. Sometimes I swore that Alice wanted to live in the 60's or something. I clanked my way down the stairs-Alice thought it would be fun to stick me in 5 in heels for a international flight…why I don't know-and into Edwards arms.

"Ready love?" Edward said opening the door of the limo that was taking us to the air port. I smiled, thanked him and slid in. Alice jumped in and took the seat across from us. Jasper and Emmett were on either side of us.

"So is Kate ( I strained to say the name) joining us?" I asked…after all she did accompany them here.

"Absolutely not…we sent a separate limo to pick her up at the hotel she's staying at. Unfortunately she's going to be meeting up with us at the airport since Emmett never officially broke it off…" Edward said.

"which I will do the minute we touch the ground!" Emmett added on.

"Emmett." Edward said in a warning tone.

"I know I'll keep Super Bitch away from your girl…if she even gets near her you can break my nose!" Emmett offered up.

"good luck!" Jasper warned rolling his eyes. As the car door opened I saw psychotic blonde hair bouncing in the wind.

"EMMY BEAR!" Kate shouted running at the car. Everyone who could shot a disgusted glare

"Hey Kate…so where's your cousin?" Emmett asked. Luckily she didn't see me.

"Oh still at the hotel…she leaves tomorrow. We had a rough night a few nights ago so she couldn't come and see me off." Kate said shooting daggers at us.

"Oh that's cool." Emmett said. We then went in line to go through security. After getting through security we took our seats to wait for the flights to leave.

"who wants a gelato?" Jasper asked when Emmett started to rant about the flight home

"I do!" Alice, Edward and I said before Emmett could answer. We darted off.

"guys I feel bad doing this to Emmett…he's actually been decent to me lately." I said.

"Don't…from the stories I've heard you don't want to be on a flight with a single…or even almost single Emmett. Lets just say he takes sexual harassment of flight attendants to the next level." Edward said . I could totally see that happening. Just then Emmett came running in.

"man your not going to believe this…I was in the john and they called our flight number…we missed our flight!" Emmett cried. Jasper groaned.

"um Emmett…Jasper and I already got tickets for the next flight…you know the one that Bella and Alice are on… but we couldn't get yours. I'm sorry its just that we had this impatient asshole behind us who kept on tapping Jasper on the back while huffing and puffing.

"okay I'll just get a ticket myself!" Emmett said running off.

"Why god? WHY? Every single time we try and escape from Emmett he follows us like a god damn boomerang …guaranteed he gets both Kate and himself on our flight. This is going to be the flight from hell!" Jasper growled.

As we were getting ready to board our flight we passed Emmett at the desk pleading to get the next available flight. Kate was boredly blowing bubbles with her bubble gum. We waited as the line progressed into the plane. Once we boarded the plane Edward and I took out crossword puzzles and started to work on them. I heard a groaning noise and looked up to see Emmett bouncing to the seat behind Jasper.

"This is going to be a long flight!" Jasper moaned. The minute he could he started buzzing the flight attendant.

"What is it sir?" The attendant asked Emmett annoyed.

"Can I have some peanuts please!" Emmett said. Jasper tapped the flight attendant on her shoulder.

"Two Heineken please?" Jasper asked handing both his and Alice's fake ids.

" sure and how about some vodka as well?" The flight attendant asked looking at Emmett.

" if it isn't too much trouble." Jasper said.

"Oh trust me it would be my honor!" The flight attendant said handing their ids back and walking away . I had a feeling that she felt bad for them. As soon as we were 10,000 feet in the air the flight attendant handed Jasper and Alice two flasks and two beers.

"Yum Greygoose…my favorite!" Alice said taking a swig out of the flask.

The fifth time Emmett rang for the flight crew they huffed and walked over to him.

"Sir have you ever heard about the boy who cried wolf?" the flight attendant asked clearly pissed.

"Wolf? There's a wolf on this plane?" Emmett asked frightened.

"OMG THERES A WOLF WANDERING AROUND ON THIS PLANE?" Kate screamed. Passenger's started to look at our section.

"I don't know them…I don't know them!" Edward whispered to himself as we hung our heads down in embarrassment.

"Can I see that sir?" the flight attendant asked pointing to Jaspers flask.

"sure go right ahead!" Jasper said handing it to her. She took a swig and continued about her duties. Emmett's head drifted into the isle leveling with the flight attendants ass.

"Damn papa like!" Emmett called out loud. Edward and I bit our lips to keep from laughing.

"EMMETT SO THAT'S WHY YOU'VE BEEN RINGING THEM THIS WHOLE TIME!" Kate roared and we heard a loud smack.

"Can we have another one of these?" Alice asked holding the flask up. The flight attendant dropped a bottle of greygoose on Jaspers tray.

"I think your going to need this!" The flight attendant said glaring at Emmett who was staring pointedly at her breasts.

"couldn't agree with you more mam…I have a feeling that you might need some too so feel free to take a swig whenever!" Jasper said rolling his eyes.

" Free booze!" Alice cheered lunging at the vodka and sucking it down happily. Needless to say she was the first one out that night.

"Come on hook a brother up man!" Emmett said eyeing the bottle out.

"Don't even think about it!" Alice said possessively grabbing the bottle

Twenty minutes later Emmett had already called over the flight attendant twelve times. The bing was actually started to cause a ringing in my ears. The flight attendants had given up going to him. As they were getting the dinners ready we could see them poring liquid valium on a stake dinner that Emmett had requested for the seventh time he had called the flight attendant over. Emmett was too busy cluelessly staring at the flight attendants asses and making comments about the mile high club to notice.

"Here you go Mr. McCarthy…this was made especially for you!" The flight attendant said handing Emmett his dinner.

"Emmett!" Jasper said trying to warn him. But it was too late.

"What!" Emmett said with a mouthful of stake and potatoes.

"Nevermind!" Jasper said turning around and taking a swig from his bottle. At this point Alice emerged from the bathroom looking very green. She took one look at Emmett who was chewing his food with his mouth open disgustingly and ran back into the bathroom again. Poor Alice didn't know that planes and vodka didn't mix. We then heard a crash and snoring sounds. Emmett had fallen asleep in his plate. The waitresses high-five themselves and the rest of the plane cheered. Kate looked around confused, thinking for some ridiculous reason that the plane was clapping at her she stood up and took a bow. Unable to control myself any more I laughed into Edwards shirt. He was actually shaking.

"Thinking this was all about her…what a fucking idiot!" Edward snorted loudly and that was when I burst out hysterically laughing. I turned my phone on and recorded everything…Alice was still in the bathroom and Kate stood there bowing for twenty minutes. I zoomed in on Emmett's drooling face and Kate bowing. Alice was going to love this.

"Thank you…thank you…I know I'm beautiful." Kate said. Another person laughed out loud which was quickly stifled by the person next to them. Jasper chocked on the sip of alcohol that he was taking. His eyes blazed in the laughter that he was holding back. It was then that Alice stumbled out of the bathroom.

"Is it me or is this plane falling and spinning and…and" Alice said running back in for the third time.

" I think we're gonna need some extra barf bags for tonight!" Jasper said to the flight attendant. They handed him five more. Alice finally took her seat right after. I fell asleep on Edwards shoulder.

We were awoken in the middle of the night by Alice puking her brains out. Jasper was rubbing her back.

"Shush Allie its gonna be okay…yeah that's it…get all the poison out!" Jasper whispered. A few minutes later she was silenced and peaceful blackness enveloped.


	15. The first night back

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**i dont own twilight or its characters S/M does. Thanks for the reviews.. please keep them up!**

Chapter 15

BPV

Our parents were waiting for us as we stepped off the plane. All I could see was Charlie's beaming smile before he enveloped both Alice and I in a bear hug.

"So Bella what happened to your arm this time?" Dr. Cullen asked glaring at Emmett. He knew me well from my many hospital visits…which were mostly thanks to Emmett.

"Its not my fault this time…I swear!" Emmett said. At that point Mr. and Mrs. McCarthy came running into the room. Emmett was his fathers younger duple ganger.

"PANCAKE!" Mr. McCarthy shouted at me while Emmett was trying to silently tell him to shut up. My father and Dr. Cullen looked at us confused.

"Why is he calling you that?" My father asked me while giving Alice a dirty look.

"See it was kind of my fault….it was how we met actually. Alice darted out into the street and Bella was trying to get her back on the sidewalk…it all happened so fast…and that's what happened to her arm ." Edward said.

"EMMY YOU'LL NEVER FIND ANOTHER WOMAN LIKE ME!" Kate snarled from behind us.

"To the left to the left  
To the left to the left

Mmmmm  
To the left to the left  
Everything you own in the box to left

To the left to the left  
Don't you ever for a second get to thinking  
You're irreplaceable

You must not know 'bout me  
You must not know 'bout me  
I could have another you in a minute  
Matter fact, she'll be here in a minute (baby)" Emmett sang. People started staring at us. I looked back to see Kate looking like a deer in headlights. She didn't know where to look.

" ugh thank god that's over…I never thought id see the day where id never have to see both Tanya and Kate's faces ever again!" Jasper exclaimed happily.

"Alright…we brought the Volvo just like you asked…its over there!" Carlisle said pointing and beginning to turn to his own Mercedes.

"Um Charlie do you mind if I give Bella a ride?" Edward asked. From the look on Charlie's face you would of thought Edward was asking for my hand in marriage or something like that.

"What?" Charlie gasped

"Oh relax dad…its not like she's gonna get pregnant or something…and even if she did she could do a lot worse for the father…like Mike Newton for example." Alice laughed knowingly walking over to the police cruiser/.

"Please…I just want to have a proper goodbye." Edward said. Charlie sighed.

"I'll be watching you in the rearview mirror…any funny business…well my .38 special is in the back seat…and my shot gun's in the trunk." Charlie said. Edward gulped.

"Well that could have been a whole lot worse!" I said as we jumped into the Volvo.

"Like how?" Edward asked.

"He did have his keys on him." I said. Edward nodded. Jasper flashed a grin as he jumped into the back of the Volvo. Should of seen that one coming…after all he'd follow his Allie to the ends of the earth. Half way home "Beautiful Dreamer" played lightly in the air. I looked at Edward.

"Alice!" was all Edward said while pointing to Jasper. Jasper was looking at his phone as if god was speaking to him.

"Miss ya already Jazz Jazz…Charlie's happy that the two love birds are on their best behavior…want to hang out tomorrow?" it read.

"Definitely…southern comfort or tequila?" Jasper sent back.

"you decide!" Alice sent. She obviously didn't learn her lesson.

" kk love ya Allie!"

"love ya too Jazz Jazz!" Jaspers eyes lit up with this sentence. Guess I should expect to see blonde hair shine in my window tonight.

" So Jasper Chex or lays potato chips tonight?" I asked. Edward snickered.

"Chex…last time I ate lays in the tree Alice woke up screaming about crunching sounds." Jasper said.

"Alright they'll be waiting on the window sill." I said. Edward shot a glare.

"Remember what we said Jasper." Edward warned.

"oh I remember…Bella and I had that deal long before you two started dating…besides I'm more interested in Alice any ways." Jasper said swooning on Alice's name. Edward looked relieved.

"So the chief usually goes to bed around…?" Jasper asked

"9...but I thought you already knew that?" I asked

"I forgot!" Jasper said. That was understandable. He was used to climbing his tree whenever he wanted for the past couple of days

"it is good to know though…and the window is going to be?"

open…you'll have a prime opportunity tonight." I sighed. I hoped Edward got the subliminal message

" good…I owe you so much!" Jasper said. A couple of hours later the Volvo pulled into the drive way. Edward and I shared a goodbye kiss. It was sweet, soft and gentle…I couldn't wait till tomorrow to see him …I was going to go over his house. Alice and Jasper were heading out to a house party that one of our classmates were holding. I then went into the house and into Alice's barrage of questions.

EPV.

"and I know exactly how to repay her!" Jasper said as we pulled into my driveway.

"I mean she practically fed it to us…stay here…I'll drop the suit cases off…grab a bunch of shit and we'll leave!" Jasper said taking off with four suitcases into the house. He returned with a small duffle bag. It was his "spy kit".

" alright we have a half hour till the chief goes to bed…when I give the all clear let her know your there and then scale the side of the house…Alice said something about having the perfect spot to do so…once your in give me a thumbs up so I can turn the night vision on!" Jasper said.

"Okay!" I said. We pealed out and went in the direction of Bella's house. Jasper had me pull into the woods on the side of her house. He immediately jumped out and climbed the tree.

"Bella's in her room but I think Alice knows something…she's pulling out lingerie and an areobed mattress …now she's whipping out a curling iron…and makeup…Bella's squirming and she's tying her down with scarf's I think its going to be at least ten minutes till we have an all clear ." Jasper said holding up binaculars. 20 minutes later Jasper gave the all clear.

"All clear!" Jasper said giving a thumbs up.

"psst Bella!" I said throwing a rock against the side of the house. Her bedroom light (Jasper pointed it out) popped on and Bella's head popped out the window. I was taken aback for a minute…Alice went all out on her face tonight.

"Can I come in?" I asked. I wasn't about to go up there with out her consent.

"I thought you'd never ask!" Bella said pointing to the siding. I quickly climbed up the side of the house and jumped in. Alice had just thrown the beds together and was heading out the door. She gave a huge smile at the both of us and her eyes narrowed at Bella. It wasn't hard to guess what she was thinking. We gave her a few minutes to get settled and then tiptoed to the kitchen for Jaspers Chex. Bella handed the bag to Jasper who had climbed down the tree and up the siding that I had just used. He then scurried to the front yard.

"Night guys!" Jasper said as he took off. Before we shut the door we could see Alice scurrying out of Charlie's room…two empty ear muff boxes in her hands. We were going to have to thank Alice later. Bella and I then kissed. A flame of passion ignited and we were both consumed in it. It was one of the best nights ever. I looked as one of the most amazing creatures ever slept peacefully in my arms. I listened as Bella talked in her sleep for the next half hour. This was the closest I could get to her private thoughts.

"Edward I love you!" she said. This was the best moment of my life…and she wasn't even going to remember it! I had heard these words many times by many girls but I could see the fakeness behind their words. They were in love with the idea of me…that is to say they were in love with my image. Not Bella though…I could tell by the deep connotations behind those words. There was very few people in my life that spoke of their true loves that way….and one of them was stalking said love in a tree right now. I felt like I was on cloud nine…an asteroid could of hit the earth at this moment and I don't think I would of gave a damn. At that moment it struck me how deep my feelings actually went for her. I drifted off into a deep sleep…dream Bella greeting me with her deep brown eyes.

BPV.

I awoke the next morning in the arms of a bonfied angel. That was the only way to describe him. I counted my lucky stars that he chose me. His eyes fluttered open and my favorite smile spread across his face. I heard the sounds of my parents going to work…my mom worked as a chef at Charlie's favorite restaurant

"Morning love!" he greeted.

"Morning!" I smiled back. He then stroked my cheek bone. We leaned in and our lips met. After five minutes of passion Alice practically busted the door down.

"Holy shit your still here?" Alice gasped shocked.

"Not that I'm not happy for the both of you…don't get me wrong…but how the hell did you escape Charlie's "Daughter-dar"?" Alice corrected herself. That's what Alice called Charlie's over protectiveness.

"I don't know…luck I guess." Edward responded with a small smile on his face.

"well you have the all clear for the rest of the day…dad wont be home till at least 7 and mom around 7:30." Alice said winking.

"by the way…Jasper's downstairs…fell out of our tree this morning right after mom and dad left the house…something about wanting to see the sun rise over the mountain tops from the highest point possible…he's got some scratches but no big deal. Sometimes your brother can be such a weird one!" Alice said grabbing her clothes and her bathroom supplies. Edward and I looked at each other.

Walking downstairs we found Jasper sitting in the kitchen digging into his toast and cleaning off his scratches with peroxide. Edward whipped out our skillet and started to prepare home made pancakes…and not the premixed power kind either. I think this was the most exercise that skillet got out side of dinner.

"So what went wrong?' Edward asked as we dug into our pancakes.

"I don't know…everything was perfect. I was watching Allie's eyes flutter open and I heard a crack…next thing I know I'm on the ground and Alice is looking over me shocked. I said the first thing that popped in my head." Jasper said solemnly.

"oh that sucks!" I said. It was then that Alice came bounding down the stairs all dressed and ready to go.

"Alright Jazzy what do you say we go to Port Angelus and hit up the department store…see if we can find the perfect shoes to match the outfit that I'm going to debut at the party tonight!" Alice said. We just came back from one of the hugest shopping centers ever created and Alice still has the shopping bug.

"Okay!" Jasper said excitedly. I had a feeling that he wanted to keep the Milan merriment going.

"Shopping shopping shopping…keep on going shopping…all night!" Alice sang as they jumped into her truck. After we were finished eating I showed Edward where the shower was and cleaned the kitchen while he got cleaned up. He walked back down stairs wearing the same clothes from yesterday but looking really refreshed. He smiled and scooped me up…suds flying everywhere. Electricity flew through the both of us freely. I laughed as soap flew like snow everywhere. We looked as the sun made one of its rare appearances. Edward carried me off and I gave him the grand tour of the rest of the house. It wasn't as big as his multimillion dollar mega mansion in Italy so the tour flew by really fast.

"Finally I'm seeing the Swan house…you know this is the only house of our school mates that I haven't partied in?" Edward said smiling. I wasn't shocked there…Charlie being police chief meant that we couldn't have parties.

"I've always wondered what the inside looked like." Edward said looking around. This I was a little shocked at…I mean the house did have an average exterior…just like me.

"Well its not really much but it is home!" I said as we went over to the mantle that held Alice and my school pictures. Alice's senior prom picture stood in the center…Jasper beaming in pride and matching Alice exactly….both wearing all black. Edward looked as if he were remembering something from that night or something.

EPV.

I was remembering a time a couple of days before that prom. Things were starting to fall apart between me and Tanya so I was kind of hoping that she didn't want to go, that way I could get up the nerve to talk to Bella at the dance but the minute I brought up prom she wanted to go. She actually squealed and tackled me to the floor the minute I said the p word.

_Flashback._

_I was watching her sniff the flower that I had placed in her locker. Claire de lune was playing in my head as her chestnut colored hair slightly shifted over her shoulder. For the moment all I could see was her…all I cared about was her. In fact the only reason I agreed to date Tanya was because I thought that she would never look at me that way…I mean whenever I did catch her looking she always was shooting death glares. My peace was gradually broken as Tanya's monotone voice broke through my thoughts…she sounded like she should be on the Charlie Brown Christmas Special._

_"Blah Blah Blah…and I want my flowers to exactly match my dress so they should be bright orange tipped roses." Tanya said. Jasper looked at Alice…who appeared out of like thin air…annoyed._

_"Ew why would you want that as the color of your dress!" Alice said disgusted._

_"shut up wannabe fashion designer!" Tanya said. Just then Jasper hit Tanya with his locker._

_"Oops sorry…did my locker just hit you in the face? Sometimes it gets stuck and you have to put some pressure on it but the problem is it just flies right open ( he repeated the motion effectively hitting Tanya again) oops you might just want to back away from my locker…it seems to have you on target!" Jasper said. Tanya backed away and walked to class._

_"So anyways as I was saying before the new and improved conceded bot interrupted…I m so pissed that she wont go to prom. Like seriously what's Bella going to do…just hang around and watch movies with our parents all night long…and I could have had so much fun dress hunting for her…I already had a style in mind." Alice said. Bella's not going to prom? The pixie's words caught me off guard. I listened to every word she said._

_"well why doesn't she want to go?" Jasper asked._

_"I don't know…she said that she just doesn't see the point in going." Alice said. I had a funny feeling that Alice knew more then she was letting on._

_"well maybe she's just one of those girls." Jasper said shaking his head and glared over at me quickly._

_End of Flashback_

"So why didn't you go to prom?" I asked.

" I didn't have a date…besides Emmett and Kate would of picked up on that and pointed that out…and going as the third wheel with Alice and the love's slave formally known as Jasper would have been awkward (Jasper and Alice went separately from the rest of us)." Bella answered. That was understandable and in an odd way it gave me a sense of relief.

"Completely understandable…and you didn't miss much anyways…I mean it was held in the school gym." I said. Not to mention I had to sit and watch Jasper stare at Alice all night while Tanya was doing god knows what in the bathroom…Alice said she could hear her speaking possibly Spanish in one of the stalls . I found out about Ricardo soon after.

"Really…Alice said it was fun?" Bella asked skeptically. I had a feeling that she knew more then she was letting on. Then I realized…Alice was her sister…and she definitely had a mouth on her. Bella might possibly know more details on what Alice heard then I did.

"That's because Alice was strutting around the place like it was her personal run way show." I said. That was also true…she was jumping in front of all the year book shots.

"Typical Alice." Bella said. Just then the door bell rang. A package and a bunch of bills were sitting on the front doorstep. Bella opened the brown package to reveal the yearbook Alice had ordered. We were flipping through and laughing at all the bad pictures when the

"Most likely" section came up. Sitting front and center was a whole body shot of Jasper and Alice hugging in a very coupleish way. Under the shot read "Most likely to get married" in bold print. Bella and I held each other laughing.

"I cant wait to see Alice's face when she reads that!" Bella said laughter still in her voice.

"I cant wait to see Jaspers!" I said. Truth is Jasper's probably going to have that picture framed. Just then Bella's phone got a message from Alice.

"did the year book come in yet?" Alice asked. How the hell did she do that?

"Yes" Bella sent.

"did they make any superlatives?" Alice sent.

"yeah…The Cullen twins got most likely to become rich and famous!" Bella sent. I snickered…we were already half way to that fulfillment.

"And most likely to get married?" Alice asked.

"Congratulations…I didn't even know you guys were together and the school's already published your wedding announcement. I have to say Jasper would make a great husband!" Bella sent. A snicker escaped both our lips.

"WHAT? OMG ITS NOT EVEN LIKE THAT WITH ME AND JAZZY…WHY DOESN'T ANYONE UNDERSTAND THAT WE'RE JUST FRIENDS! I MEAN HE IS GORGEOUS AND EVERYTHING BUT ITS NOT LIKE HE WOULD EVER LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT" Alice sent. Bella and I looked at each other. Did Alice just say that?

"Scratch that last part!" Alice sent again. The defensive Alice came out one second too late. Just then my phone went off.

"send pic immediately!" Jasper sent. I took a picture and sent it. Jasper was probably stroking out or something right now…I hoped Alice wasn't near by.

"What do you say we get out of here soon…I don't think you want to be here when Alice gets back." I said. Bella nodded in agreement and headed upstairs. When she came back down she was wearing a blouse that was my favorite color…dark blue. The color brought out her best attributes making her if possible even more exquisite. I tried to get her to go in the Volvo with me but she insisted on taking the truck…something about missing the peppermint smell of the interior. It made me a little nervous…but if she was going to be in her own car nothing could be safer than that truck. It was practically indestructible.

" ALICE!…HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO RUN OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF TRAFFIC LIKE THAT! YOU COULD OF KILLED YOUR SISTER OR YOURSELF! AND THEN LYING ABOUT IT TO COVER YOUR OWN ASS!" Charlie and Renee roared together. Edward looked shocked…I think he expected my father to hate him or something like that.

"But there was a sale at Prada that day!" Alice whined

"So Emmett how was Milan…did you get to see the great wall of China?" Emmett's mother asked. Yep definitely where Emmett got his intelligence from.

"Mom we were in Italy…the country next door to China!" Emmett said shaking his head. How he got that I don't know…Italy wasn't even near China. It showed how low our graduation standards were if Emmett graduated and said that sentence.

"I still have that platter that I showed you last week waiting for you Emmy!" Mrs. McCarthy said as we were heading out. Edward and I developed a grossed out look on our faces…surely they would of gone bad by now.

"Thanks mom…you're the best!" Emmett said smiling. The idiot was going to actually eat them! We looked over at the sobbing sound behind us. The minute the plane touched earth Emmett broke it off with Kate officially…and it didn't go over too well. She laid out in the isle in protest, begging Emmett to take her back…which held us up fifteen minutes.


	16. and the fun never stops

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**i dont own twilight or its characters S/M does. Thanks for the reviews.. please keep them up!**

Chapter 16

BPV

I was driving home that night from Edwards house. I had to say if possible the house here was even more amazing then the one in Italy. It looked like they had done a lot of work to it in the time since I last entered that house. It was absolutely amazing. His parents were working at the hospital so we had everything all to ourselves. As I leaving Jasper came in with a determined eye. I knew that he was going to ask more about the superlative. I turned on to a one way road that lead back to the center of town. I heard the sound of acceleration before I saw it. A new infinity QX 56 rounded the corner on two wheels…coming head on towards me. I tried to slow down but considering he was doing at least 50 I knew there would still be major damage. Edwards face was in my mind. I couldn't die…I couldn't leave him…why does this keep on happening? What was worse was that I knew even if I pulled off to the side I would still get hit . I knew that car anywhere…I thought that they said they wouldn't give Mr. McCarthy his license back after he lost it the twelfth time?

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed as the SUV slammed head on into my car. The impact actually pushed my car back…a feat I thought impossible till now. My truck careened off the road and into a line of trees. I dazedly looked on as Mr. McCarthy sped off…surprisingly his car was still drivable. As he passed by my car I could see that the air bags had deployed so he was driving around with his airbags out. I looked as he skimmed a telephone pole, a tree and someone's mail box. I dizzily grabbed a towel to put pressure on the deep cut on my head, grabbed my phone and got out of the car. I then proceeded to call the police…a.k,a Charlie.

EPV.

A few minutes after Bella left I decided that I wanted to get her a gift. A bracelet would be perfect I thought. I left Jasper a note explaining where I was going and when I would be back that way he could tell mom and dad where I was. As I slipped out the door I could see Jasper already preparing that nights spy kit and taking out the thermos he carried coffee in. He was also trying shirts on for the party that he and Alice were going to. He really did have it bad for Alice. I popped in a tape and Alice's voice played on the speakers. I didn't get why he liked recording her sleep talking…it was all about shopping., something we all heard enough of when she was awake anyways. It was on the sixth round of "Gucci, Prada, Fendi, Chanel" that I could see cop lights in the distance. A bad feeling started to creep up inside me. The feeling got stronger as I could see a police barricade blocking off the road in front of me. I caught a glimpse of a barely disenable red truck in the trees surrounded by ambulances, and I lost it…I automatically knew it was Bella. I flew towards the barricade as fast as I could. Charlie seeing me waived me in, showed me where I could pull over, and stuck his head in my car.

"EDWARD YOU TELL THAT SON OF A BITCH MR. MCCARTHY THAT I WILL PERSONALLY SLAUGHTER HIM FOR THIS. HE ALMOST KILLED MY BABY GIRL NOT TO MENTION ABANDONING HER…HE CAN ALSO KISS HIS FUCKING LICENSE GOOD BYE FOREVER." Charlie snarled enraged.

"Don't worry Chief Swan…I'll personally make sure he gets that message!" I said cracking my knuckles menacingly .

"Welcome to the family son!" Charlie beamed evilly shaking my hand.

"Where's Bella?" I asked.

"In that ambulance over there…she's been asking for you ever since she woke up." Charlie said. He then radioed the paramedics to let me ride with them. I loved the fact that Charlie was a police chief. As I got to the ambulance I could see Bella sitting up on a stretcher with a neck brace on. There was a cut on her head that was deep enough to require stitches. I knew I should of followed her home…at the very least I would of rammed my car up his ass just like Alice did to his son. She looked up at me…her eyes slightly glazed.

"Edward?" she asked. I was sick. I was going to rip Mr. McCarthy a new one for this and I knew Chief Swan had my back.

"shush…I'm here" I whispered I looked as Charlie was putting an APB out on Mr. McCarthy. What confused me was when the FBI showed up. Charlie was gleefully talking to them. I looked as he handed them one of two manila envelopes…the other he placed in his cruiser. The paramedics shut the door and we pulled onto the road. The EMT wrapped Bella's head in a white gauze and I rubbed her hand. Looking out the small window I could see Charlie giving the paramedics a police escort to the hospital.

"I'm so sorry…I should of did something!" Bella said looking at me. She was apologizing for something that was that fucking assholes fault?

"Don't appologize …you did nothing wrong…its not your fault that scumbag hit you!" I said trying to hide the pain from my voice. I stroked her hand some more. I wanted so badly to tell her how I felt but I was afraid she wouldn't remember it tomorrow. So I kept my mouth shut. When we pulled into the hospital my father was already there waiting for us.

" Oh hey Bella's back!" a nurse who's name tag read Veronica said. Bella gave an embarrassed wave as they brought her into the ER. Since they wouldn't let me in while they examined her I sat in the waiting room. After Bella passed through the doors to the trauma room the chief sat with me for five minutes contacting members of his family. When he couldn't get in touch with Alice he turned and looked at me.

"So where's the party tonight?" Charlie asked. He knew Alice so well.

"The Stanley's." I said looking down. Alice and Jasper wont like being pried away from their party but it was an emergency. I was hoping that they would understand.

"Thanks son!" Charlie nodded heading out the door. He gave the nurse permission to give me information on Bella's condition before he left. A few minutes later Carlisle came out holding an MRI picture.

"Alright well she has another concussion…but what I don't get is why there is evidence of two recent concussions." Carlisle said. I explained everything that had happened over the vacation. He nodded in understanding when I finished.

"Well that clears a lot up…and don't worry…fifteen stitches and she's going to be just fine. She might have to stay over night but that's up to the chief…you can see her now. She's been asking for you. I went to the gift shop and grabbed a bouquet of sunflowers

When I went in to her room Bella was hooked up to a bunch of IV's . It looked exactly like the day we met only the nurses were speaking English….not Italian…I think she was even watching the same movie. The only other difference was when Bella saw me…she smiled.

" Alright how much did Alice bribe you_ this time_ or was it Charlie?" Bella joked. There was a light chuckle in her voice.

" I don't need to be bribed…you've already given me enough!" I said kissing her hand. Her smile grew wider. This was how I pictured our first meeting. I sat in the chair next to her bed as we watched the remaining parts of Titanic …tears dripping down Bella's face. I handed her a tissue and she dabbed her eyes. Her hand gripped around mine. A few minutes later Charlie came running in.

"Alice is on her way…her not boyfriend Jasper asked if he could drive her…something about if he wasn't under arrest he wasn't stepping foot in a police cruiser. I have to say Edward you and your brother are really a lot alike. He also threatened to kick Mr. McCarthy's ass for hurting Alice's sister…something about hating people who cause Alice emotional distress." Charlie said in a factual tone. I think Charlie was planning on sending a lynch mob after Mr. McCarthy for this. I smiled…that would be another person on my side. A couple of minutes later we could hear a commotion outside.

"LET ME IN THERE! THAT IS MY SISTER!…I SAID LET ME IN THERE! BELLA? BELLA? I SAID MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEE!" Alice roared shoving security out of the way…Jasper in toe.

"BELLA YOUR ALIVE!" Alice shrieked when she spotted us. She darted in like a bat out of hell.

"So what happened…Dad wouldn't elaborate…just said Mr. McCarthy almost killed you and that you were here?" Alice asked Bella. Just then my phone went off. It was Emmett. I sighed and picked up. If I was hoping Emmett was calling to apologize for his dads actions I was wrong.

"Dude my dad just hit someone and totally left the scene…isn't that hilarious!" Emmett said laughing to burst. I could hear Mr. and Mrs. McCarthy laughing in the background. I now understood why Bella thought I was just like the rest of them.

"No its not hilarious Emmett…I'm in the hospital with my girlfriend right now because SOMEBODY HIT HER AND LEFT THE SCENE OF THE ACCIDENT!" I snarled disgustedly.

"Oh shit!" Emmett said hanging up the phone quickly. Charlie growled.

"lets see if he's laughing when his father's arrested by the FBI for RICO charges. They've been building their case against him for a while now…all I had to do was supply the evidence…have the copies on me! And I wrapped it all up neat and clean with that nice picture of him slamming into my baby girl" Charlie said taking out the manila envelope that he had stuffed in the car. He took out a bunch of pictures. The first was of security video him slamming into Bella. The second looked like it would land an additional charge of destroying a mail box. The third looked like he would get in trouble for extortion…he was shadily taking money from some dude who's head was circled. There was a rap sheet for that man behind it which included some past RICO crimes.

"Oh and there's a little present for Mrs. McCarthy as well!" Charlie said holding up a picture of Mr. McCarthy entering a hotel room with what was clearly a prostitute.

"Ooh viscous!" Alice smiled.

"The McCarthy family has been fucking with my babies for the past couple of years…well no more! As a police chief I've tried to be fair to them but to have blatant disrespect for the law and almost killing my baby girl…that is where I put my foot down. They are going to go down!" Charlie snarled pissed.

"excuse me I have to go make a phone call." Charlie said leaving the room.

"So how was the party?" Bella asked.

"Couldn't tell you…we just got there when the cops raided the place. Charlie couldn't resist doing a raid…he could of so told me in a way that wouldn't make the town hate our guts." Alice said. She then launched into the full story.

Flashback.

APV.

We had been there only five minutes. I was talking to Angela and Jasper was searching for some booze when all of a sudden cops were surrounding the place. that's it…we're so screwed…I'm going down for sure…I gulped. Jasper and I caught up to each other and were trying to bail out the back when Charlie pulled me aside. Jasper followed. I'm done…grounded till death do Charlie part…possibly some jail time.

__

"Alice I'm sorry to have to do this to you but you need to come with me. Mr. McCarthy almost killed your sister." Charlie said. I had to say I didn't expect that one…and I'm usually pretty precognitive on that stuff. I stood there shocked

"WHAT?" Jasper and I gasped.

"Yeah Edward's already down at the hospital with her and he's pretty hung up over it…not that I blame him…from the look on his face I think he wants to kick Mr. McCarthy's ass." Charlie said.

"Hospital?" I chocked out. Omg I cant loose my sister! Jasper rubbed my shoulder.

"Asshole…hurting Alice's sister…I'll be there hand and hand with Edward…no one puts my Alice thought emotional pain like that…not to mention my brother!" Jasper snarled. Jazzy was so cute when he was angry.

"How bad is it?" I shook.

"I don't know…I left to get you before anyone came out to talk to us…at the least she needs stitches I think." Charlie said. Stitches? STITCHES? Better not be on her god damn face or I'll rip Mr. McCarthy's off his god damn head!

"Why didn't you call?" I asked.

" I tried!" Charlie said pointing to my phone. I had ten missed calls from Charlie.

"Alright guys…who wants to ride in the front of the cruiser?" Charlie asked as we headed into the driveway.

"Chief swan…if we are not under arrest I don't want to get into that car…no offence. Alice and I are fine to drive on our own. You can breathalyzer us if you want, but there is no way in hell that I'm stepping in that cruiser when I didn't do anything wrong!" Jasper said.

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"Fine…you don't seem wrecked anyways. But follow me!" Charlie said jumping into the cruiser. Jasper and I jumped into his Camaro.

End of flashback.

BPV.

I was released after Charlie promised to keep an eye on me which meant Alice was going to be on Bella patrol tonight. Edward offered to stay but I told him that he needed to go home…to spend time with his parents since he hadn't seen them in a couple of weeks. I was propped up on a couch in the living room …Alice hanging out on a chair next to me. Charlie had gone back to work for the sole purpose of watching Mr. McCarthy get busted. He promised to be home right after. Alice flicked the news on.

"BREAKING NEWS…MARCUS MCCARTHY ARRESTED FOR RACKATEERING AND EXTORTION CHARGES!" Read across the screen. Mr. McCarthy was being lead away in hand cuffs by FBI agents. Mrs. McCarthy was punching him in the face…they were bleeping out everything she was saying.

"Marcus McCarthy is the brother of Aro and Caius McCarthy who are awaiting trial for a ponzi scheme in which they stole 10 million dollars from their investors. His son Emmett ( a picture of Emmett playing football flew across the screen) was arrested for possession of marijuana." As the News caster said this images of a beaming Charlie dragging Emmett into his cruiser started to play.

"Dumbass…thank god Edward and Jasper had the balls to just say no to that stuff! Charlie can sniff that shit out like a dog to its food!" Alice said shaking her head.

"You know Jasper warned him…said that he was doing it too much…getting cocky about it too…he told Jasper to chill that nothing bad was going to happen. I don't know about him but spending a night in prison seems pretty bad to me and I should know!" Alice said. It was then that Charlie came back.

"idiot…we had just entered the house and there he was…a bag in one hand and a lighter in the other. Rolling papers were right in front of him…and he had the nerve to say "I swear it wasn't for me!" what does he take us for…idiots?" Charlie snarled. Soon after my mom came home.

"BELLA I'M SO SORRY I COULDN'TBE THERE…THE FBI WAS QUESTIONING EVERYONE AND TOLD ME I COULDN'T LEAVE!" My mother said hugging me. The restaurant my mother worked for was owned by Mr. McCarthy. She held out the food from the restaurant.

"I didn't feel like cooking tonight!" She said tossing cheeseburgers at all of us. Alice kept an eye on me all night. Whenever she flashed the flashlight in my eyes she talked about the different ways she could do my hair. She woke me up as the sun was rising.

"So Bella…I was thinking about it last night…this look is totally you!" Alice said speaking suspiciously fast and taking out her laptop while shoving it in my face. It was a photo shopped picture of me wearing a half up half down beehive.

"Alice did you sleep at all last night?" I asked.

"No…I had some redbull at the hospital …and I may have made a run to the convenience store at 3 am…I ran into Jazzy there…he was buying caffeine pills…he bought me some too!" Alice said holding an empty four pack of caffine pills. She was running around the room psychotically at this point.

"Who's up for some coffee…I want some coffee!" Alice said sped talking.

"No coffee for you sis…unless its decaf!" I said. Just then there was the sound of vehicles pulling into the driveway. Alice's head went to the window and her face dropped.

"When did they get a lambo?" Alice gasped shocked.

"Bella!" Edward called to the widow we were gaping out of. I could hear Charlie's footfalls going to his window. He probably thought Edward was sneaking in.

"Surprise…I got you a gift!" Edward said pointing to the 2011 Lamborghini Gallardo LP570-4 Superleggera that was sitting in my drive way. I only knew what it was because I had over heard a bunch of car fanatics talking about the last day of school. The license plate read "Bella 2". Jasper was sitting in the Volvo which was parked behind it.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP. I PRAYED FOR LIKE TEN YEARS TO GET A PORSCHE…AND YOU GET THE LAMBORGHINI! HOW FAIR IS THAT!" Alice sputtered. Next thing I knew Alice and I were in our driveway. I was lightly stroking the side of the car. Oddly enough I could totally see myself driving this.

"Edward you didn't have to…" Edward cut me off before I could finish that sentence.

"I wanted to…besides with your car now totaled ( we found out last night at the hospital…the mechanics took one look at it and ruled it dead) you need something to drive!" Edward said smiling.

"how did you…I mean isn't the dealership closed?" I asked.

"Well when your dad's the doctor who delivered the owner's wives child…you can get them to open the dealership whenever you want." Edward said. I had a feeling that a hefty sum of money was involved as well. It was then that Charlie and my mother came stumbling out of the house.

"Oh perfect timing Bella…you can show your parents your new car!" Edward said. My parents stood there shocked. Realizing how a Lamborghini would look in his driveway Charlie sank to his knees singing "Thank you Jesus, thank you lord…THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!" .

"Uh Bells…do you want to switch cars? You can take the cruiser!" Charlie asked …his eyes twinkling with the images of him driving my car.

"Are you kidding me?" I gasped.

"Chief swan honestly do you think Bella wants to drive around in the strobe mobile…are you trying to put a target on her back!" Alice snarled. Alice was probably picturing herself in the passenger seat going to the nearest mall. Alice was in the car taking in the new car sent when I backed up to Jasper's window.

"Jasper remember that talk we had about giving Alice caffeine…Caffeine pills like WHAT THE FUCK?" I emphasized the last part.

"Alice took those…she said they were for you!" Jasper said with a hint of shock in his voice.

"Jasper…you were there when Alive volunteered to wake me up every half hour…you know those Caffeine pills weren't for me!" I hissed. It was then that Edward came walking over.

"Um who gave Alice crack?" Edward said pointing to Alice who was now running into the woods screaming about going shopping. Jasper took out a dart gun. I looked at him.

"What? I figured Edward could use it in the event Alice kidnapped you in an attempt to go shopping!" Jasper said shrugging. Just then we heard the sound of a horn honking. We looked to see Charlie sitting on an ATV that read "FPD" with a big red strobe light sitting on the back.

"You point I shoot!" Jasper said jumping on to the ATV.

"You know…you remind me of somebody I knew in the army…we were the best of friends. He also had a shoot to kill policy." Charlie said.

"Really! Alice never told me you were in the army…my grandpa was in the army too!" Jasper said as the ATV took off. This was Jasper's dream come true…Alice hunting.

"Geez I hope there all going to be okay out there…we have some pretty big game back there. You know like bears and mountian lions. I swear I hear wolves sometimes too." My mother said. Just then we heard the sound of a gun going off.

"OWW I HATE NEEDLES…SOMEONE GET IT OUT!" Alice shouted. A bunch of birds flocked in the air. Two hours later the ATV pulled out of the woods.

" sorry it took us so long to find her…after I shot her she crawled into a leaf pile. Wonder who taught her that tatic!" Jasper said shooting a look at Charlie who was looking at his feet and whistling. He then carried an unconscious Alice upstairs.

"What did you give her?" I asked when Jasper returned.

"Something strong…we all know she'd burn most mild sedatives off really fast. Besides I never thought we would be using this at her house…if anything I thought Edward would be using it at a mall and the nearest one is at least an hour away…don't worry she's going to be just fine." Jasper said. It was then that all of us entered the house. Jasper went upstairs to hold vigil at Alice's bedside and the rest of us went into the kitchen. The more they asked Edward questions the more impressed they seemed to be.

" See baby…I told you that dreams can come true…you might want to watch out for Charlie though…I think he may want to adopt him!" my mother joked as Charlie was going on about going on a joint hunting- fishing expedition together.

"It will be so much fun…I know the perfect spot!" Charlie was smiling. Charlie hadn't had a hunting partner since Billy Black accidentally shot himself in the back…how he did that I don't know. All Billy wanted to do now was the occasional fly fishing…other then that all he did was watch the game and drink beer all day…oh and look at porno...no wonder where Jacob came from.

"Charlie I don't know…I don't want to leave Bella…especially if Alice is anywhere near!" Edward said.

"Bella can come!…She can shoot-I should know I proudly taught her myself…she's got her dad's skills…what I had to keep my skills up some how…and no one would go hunting with me…all she really did was target practice in the back yard with a picture of Mike Newton as the target ( he couldn't find a picture of Emmett's face that wasn't a mug shot and he couldn't take those out of the police department.)" Charlie said. My mother stared him down at the last part.

"What?" I gasped. I looked into Edward's pleading eyes.

"Alright I'll go!" I said. I was doing this A. because I wanted to be with Edward and B. because if my father was asking my boyfriend to go hunting with him he was having a serious itch to go.

"Go where?" Jasper asked walking down the stairs.

"Hunting and fishing." Charlie said.

"Ooh who's going?" Jasper asked excitedly.

"You…after seeing that shot you don't think I wouldn't ask you. Clean shot…right in the ass cheek, your brother, Bella and I" Charlie said. Jasper lit up with happiness.

"SWEET! I LOVE YOU CHIEF SWAN! OF COURSE I'LL GO…I ALREADY HAVE MY STUFF IN THE TRUNK…WANNA GO TODAY!" Jasper beamed.

"SURE LETS GO RIGHT NOW!" Charlie exclaimed running up the stairs. . Edward and I looked at each other.

"I'll give Alice the message." My mom said. Charlie ran down the stairs with three pairs of suspiciously new hunting attire. A receipt fell out that was signed by Alice. Charlie handed me the woman's one which was pink fitted cameo. Edward and Charlie were wearing matching fatigues. Jasper was decked all out…army fatigues…shell casings on his shoulder. His shot gun was on his back and his ak-47 was hung around his stomach. He was even wearing a green beret hat. He looked like a blonde haired rambo

"Bella…here's your gun!" Charlie said handing me my shot gun. It was engraved with my initals. Most girls hope for a necklace from their father on their fourteenth birthday…I got a shot gun with a note that read "_happy birthday…hope you use this well. A friend once told me "Kill first…ask questions later"…love your proud papa!"_

"You own a gun?" Edward asked shocked.

"Yeah…its no big deal though…Alice has an assault rifle." I said

"Alice has an assault rifle?" Jasper said delighted.

"Yeah its in our closet…right next to where I usually put mine." I said. From the look on his face I could tell that Jasper was going to go through my closet some time soon. After we were ready we piled into the Volvo. Charlie stuck the hunting and fishing gear in the trunk of the car. I noticed Charlie's eye glaring at us from the rear view mirror as I rested my head on Edward's shoulder.

"The reason why you cant use the front door at night!" I whispered. As you can tell Charlie still thought I was a virgin…either that or Charlie was having a hard time accepting that his baby was in a serious relationship. Either way his over protectiveness was starting to flare.

"Alright…we break up into teams…I'll take…?" Charlie said…his eyes darting between Edward and Jasper.

"Jasper!" I coughed. There was no way in hell I was hunting with Jasper by my self. He would be going on about missing Alice the whole time. Besides I was still kind of nervous of having my boyfriend around Charlie with a loaded weapon in Charlie's possession. I was going to hunt with Edward…end of story! From the look in his eye I could tell Edward was having similar thoughts. He grabbed my hand.

"alright then come along Jasper…if I get a whiff of any funny business from you two though I will not let you guys have this chance ever again…got it oh and Bella I know you don't like killing things so just think of it as a 300 pound stuffed deer!" Charlie said taking off with Jasper in toe.

"if he was honestly thinking about sticking you with Jasper then Alice isn't the only one blind to Jasper's feelings in your family." Edward snickered.

"I don't think he's blind…I think he knows…its just that I think he would rather torture me with Jaspers whining over missing Alice then risk having a grand child just because he wanted to go hunting." I said.

"so how's Emmett?" I asked as we took off into the woods.

"oh he got out of jail early this morning. He says that its not your fault…that you were an innocent bystander in all this and he apologizes for his dads idiotic driving ( I had a feeling that was a forced apology.) . He's pissed at your dad for arresting him though. He said that it really was for someone else. His mom was posting his bail when I hung up with him to buy your car. His dad wasn't so fortunate…she refuses to post bail for him and since it's a hefty amount no one else can or will post it." Edward said

"Oh well next time you talk to him tell him its okay. He wasn't the one driving the car." I said. Edward nodded and smiled. We could then see something moving in the distance. We moved to the side and observed as it got closer. It stopped fifty feet away from us and we could hear bubbling noises. I looked at Edward.

"what do you think that is?" I asked.

"I don't think its and animal…I think its someone who's…!" Edward said putting his finger to his lips and making a sucking sound.

"I Smoked two joints in the morning!" Emmett's voice was singing very loud. I looked as Edward was shaking his head.

"Hi guys!" Emmett said sounding very stoned as he walked over to us. I didn't know how Emmett survived two weeks in Italy with out smoking. Back home the kid was always blazed out of his friggen mind. In fact I didn't know how he passed the drug tests for the football team in high school but then again he passed the ones for HGH too and he was shooting up.

"Emmett Chief Swan is in these woods and your smoking weed out of the most conspicuous smoking device out there?" Edward asked shocked.

"want some?" Emmett asked shoving the bong in our faces. Edward pushed him away.

"Get that shit away from us man!" Edward said. Just then Charlie popped out from behind a tree

"Emmett McCarthy, we meet again!" Charlie said glaring at Emmett. He read Emmett his rights and took out hand cuffs.

"a policeman's job is never done…glad some people remembered to just say no!" Charlie snorted dragging Emmett away. After bagging a mountain lion we ran into Jasper.

"What's up with the chief…I saw him dragging something back to the Volvo…he said to find you guys!" Jasper said.

"Emmett being an idiot…long story…lets just say Emmett's probably going back to jail for breaking the provisions of his bail." Edward said. Jasper rolled his eyes.

"What a moron…he just got arrested for doing what I think he was doing today yesterday…and the minute he gets out of jail he's doing it again." Jasper laughed. A couple of hours later we ran into Charlie again.

" That little bastard's going down…mommy money banks cant bail him out this time…I got evidence of him breaking the terms of his bail!" Charlie said taking out a video camera.

"why do you have a video camera?" I asked.

"I haven't been hunting for ages…you think I don't know it could be a while before I go again…I wanted to savor the moment!" Charlie said hitting replay. Charlie had been looking for some big game when Emmett stepped out right in front of him. Emmett looked shadily to each side and then took out the bong. A bag of weed came out of his pocket. We could see bark come into the corner of the screen.

"I got you now you little bastard!" Charlie whispered zooming in on Emmett lighting the bong. Bubbling noises soon started to play on the tape. We watched as the camera followed Emmett to us. The camera started to shake a little as he held it in his hand.

"good boy son…say no…stay above the influence!" Charlie on the tape whispered as Edward pushed Emmett away. It was then that Charlie made his move.

"guys not to sound like one of those weirdo commercials…but just say no…you know that if Emmett's doing it then don't do it!" Charlie said.

"don't worry about that Charlie." I said. We then dragged the mountain lion to the car and drove to a lake where we spent the next two hours fishing. Charlie gave in and let Edward and I go off by ourselves…saying that we exhibited good behavior.

"Come along Jazzy…we'll give the couple their space…we can talk about your not relationship with Alice!" Charlie said dragging Jasper away. I sighed and rested my head on Edward's shoulder as we watched some shooting stars in the darkened sky. Edward wrapped his arm around me and held me close.

"Bella can I tell you something …like you wont freak out if I say it?" Edward asked. I looked at him oddly

"go ahead I promise!" I said

"I'm in love with a certain chestnut haired brown eyed girl." he said smiling at me. ME! HE WAS TALKING ABOUT ME! HAHA!

"Well that works out because I'm in love with a certain bronze haired, green eyed boy!" I said. Edward pulled my face close to his. I could see happiness twinkle in his eye before our lips met. A few seconds later we could hear bubbling from the lake. Bright pink goggles rose from the dock. Alice clad in a matching pink wet suit popped up.

" omg I knew it! I knew it! I knew you guys were going to say it tonight…and I was here to hear all of it!" Alice bounced up and down excitedly.

"Alice what are you…how are you?" I asked.

"Oh we all know that Charlie loves to fish here…so I had mom give me a ride here. I zipped up my wet suit and hid here for a few hours…I figured that it wouldn't happen when you two were hunting…saying I love you over an animal carcass seems to take the romance away from it so I knew this was my best spot!" Alice said. I rolled my eyes. Alice was so nosy sometimes.


	17. Alice goes blonde

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**i dont own twilight or its characters S/M does. Thanks for the reviews.. please keep them up!**

Chapter 17

BPV

It was if saying it out loud seemed to only strengthen our bond. Edward and I only grew closer as the weeks went on. He slept at our house every couple of nights…Alice generously slept on the areobed mattress and covered our parents ears. Since we were dating and Alice and Jasper were "close friends" our parents decided just to hold a joint graduation party for all of us. It was Alice's idea. It was to be held in our back yard…Charlie really fought hard for that. I awoke the day of the party to Alice holding a tweezer in one hand and cucumbers in the other. Feeling something cold and wet I placed my finger on my face. Pulling it away I saw something green and gunky…oh man she did it again!

"Bella how many times do I have to tell you not to touch that!" Alice said lightly slapping my hand and throwing the cucumbers on. From behind the green I could hear Alice slamming draws. I was thanking god Edward stayed home last night…she probably would of given him a mud mask too.

"now in approximately .5 hours you will take a shower…I'm already finished with mine…then makeup stand…then mani's and pedis…and then we dress." Alice said. In Alice's mind the party was bigger then graduating.

"I cant believe this…the first big party that I planned all by myself (Alice ordered everything herself…not even our parents had a say in it)…its like the beginning of an era! Violet would be so proud!" Alice cooed. Violet was the fashion designer/ party planner that Alice interned with over spring vacation.

"Which is why I invited her!" Alice continued on

"Oh Alice." I sighed.

"now mom has breakfast downstairs…pancakes the size of my face, hash browns, and scrambled eggs!…I'm hungry!" Alice said running down the stairs. Once I was in the hall I could smell the delicious smell of breakfast. As I got down the stairs I heard the faint sounds of an engine starting up…Jasper must of stayed late. Walking down the stairs I saw Alice and our parents eating breakfast. Alice was going over last minute details for the party.

" Alright…the florist should be here in a minute to drop off the center pieces. I called the local party supply store …the balloons are going to be ready by 12. The caterers are coming over to start preparing the food in an hour…they are willing to let you help them out mom. The party starts at 3...the DJ's should be here at two!" Alice said.

"DJ's?" I gasped.

"Yeah …the fire breather and the belly dancers should be here around that time too. The sword swallower's are going to be a little late but that's no big deal." Alice said.

"How are we affording this?" I asked.

"I may of made a few calls to the Cullen's residence last night…ooh and I almost forgot…while I was on the phone with them last night they said they had twinkle lights…and like thousands of them…the boys are going to bring them over when they come to help out. " Alice said. Knowing Alice she was going to turn into slave driver.

"Ooh your going to dry out Bella!" Alice said dragging me up the stairs. Luckily I had just finished eating or else I would of killed her. She threw me into the shower.

"here your going to need this!" Alice said throwing a facial sponge at my face. When I reentered my bedroom Alice was sitting in front of the makeup stand…foils all over her head. It looked like she could pick up HBO.

"Alice what did you do to your hair?" I gasped.

"I'm going all blonde baby!" Alice chirped excitedly. Picturing Alice as a blonde was like seeing Emmett's muscles deflate.

"Um couldn't you just get a wig?" I asked.

"Its already in…besides a wig is too much work. You have to pull your hair back…you have to brush it out. Takes too much time…time I could be spending putting your makeup on." Alice said.

"Alright Bella…what color should I do for you…fashion fuchsia or midnight black?" Alice asked …her eyebrows wiggling and holding up two Paul Mitchell products.

"Neither…I like my hair the way it is thank you very much!" I said..

"well everyone needs a change!" Alice said dumping the two bottles into a premade bowl. I could already smell the chemicals coming out as the dye turned a deep red.

"CHARLIE!" I shouted. He was my last resort. He was the only one in the house that agreed with me that my hair color shouldn't be touched. Something about the Swan family heritage. When the door opened though I could tell it wasn't Charlie. His green eyes blazed in anger at Alice.

"ALICE…YOU DROP THE HAIR DYE. YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO YOUR OWN HEAD…HELL YOU CAN SHAVE IT ALL OFF . I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THAT…BUT WHEN IT COMES TO MY GIRLFRIEND HOWEVER I DO GIVE A DAMN , AND WHEN SHE'S CLEARLY SAYING NO THAT SHOULD BE CODE FOR YOU TO BACK THE FUCK AWAY!" Edward snarled.

"That's my sister…I want what's best for her!" Alice said with the bowl still in her hand. More like she wants to experiment on me and see what happens.

"Alice I can turn your hair orange…I know how to do it!" Edward threatened.

"you wouldn't!" Alice gasped.

"Try me!" Edward growled. Alice ran away.

"DADDY!" Alice cried running down the hall

"You know she already acts like a blonde…but I have to tell you Bella she's going to look fucking weird that way…especially when the roots come in. " Edward shuttered. It was sad that my boyfriend knew more about hair then I did. Probably a side effect of dating Tanya.

"How did you…?" I asked

"Well I did date Tanya…and I may of overheard a minute or two of the conversation before I came in." Edward said. It was then that we could overhear Charlie reaming Alice out.

"Alice Swan…how many times do I have to tell you not to touch your sister's hair. That is a Swan Family treasure…what your grandmother would say if she heard you were doing that! Shame on you Alice!" Charlie was ranting. Edward snickered. It was then that I got a good look at what Edward was wearing. A dark metallic blue suit. It looked too flashy even for someone as loaded as him . Catching my eye Edward confirmed my suspicions.'

"Yeah your sister broke into my house last night. Left this on the bed and stole everything so that I would be forced to wear this. She also threatened to kidnap you." Edward said.

"I can see I'm not the only one forced to wear something that they don't want to wear!" Edward said holding up my dress for the party. It matched his suit exactly and it was a style that was a little too short and low cut for either of our tastes.

"Yeah…but I'd have to live with the never ending reaction if I didn't agree to wear that. Alice is already going to hold over me for not going to prom over my head for the rest of eternity…I couldn't give her more ammunition." I said. We could hear the water running in the bathroom…that meant we only had a couple more minutes before Alice came storming in.

" your sister is something else!" Edward laughed. The hair dryer popped on. Alice's hair only took like a second to dry.

"Yeah but her heart is in the right place…she's just going about things her own way." I said. Edward nodded in agreement.

"Alright bonding times over…its my turn now!" Alice said running in. her hair was now as white as a Barbie dolls. I had to say Alice could pull off the blonde. It didn't look that bad.

"See Bella you could be this color…I still have the bottle left!" Alice said.

"Don't leave!" I whispered to Edward who was sitting on my bed and glaring at Alice.

"Fine you can stay!" Alice moaned. With Edward there Alice couldn't go to drastic.

"I'm taking out the curling iron okay…ITS TEMPORARY!" Alice said glaring at Edward.

"Alice I know what a curling iron is!" Edward said rolling his eyes. She then proceeded to attack my head. Alice whipped out Barbie pins. I had a feeling she was going to do that beehive thing. There was noting I could do to stop her. She was finished before I could open my mouth. Alice worked at lightning speed to get my makeup on. It looked fun but with hints of promiscuity in it. I could not imagine what she would do if Edward was not in the room. Edward was shooting sympathetic glances at me.

"Alright now its time for manis and pedis…I have clear gloss Edward if you want one too!" Alice said wiggling her eyebrow. Edward looked at her as if she had three heads.

"No I'm fine thank you very much." Edward said

" party pooper…so wild blueberry or Azure?" Alice asked holding up two bottles that looked the same.

"they look exactly the same Alice!" I said

"no there not…this one's more indigo and this one's definitely more cobalt!" Alice said. Edward rolled his eyes.

"don't roll your eyes at me like that Mr. or I'll paint your nails hot pink when your sleeping!" Alice said.

"Ha! Tanya already beat you to that the night we broke up!" Edward laughed

" Did she do your toenails too?" Alice asked.

"No?" Edward said.

"Then I'll do those too!" Alice snarled. Edward just looked at her.

"now back to the debate…which one?" Alice said shoving the identical bottles in my face.

"you pick!" I said. I knew if I said one Alice would force me to go with the other.

"Passion fruit it is then!" Alice said whipping out a fire engine red bottle out of no where. Where the fuck did she get that from.

"shush Bella let me just see those nails!" Alice said grabbing my hand. Next thing I knew Alice was filing and buffing my nail all the while talking about where she was going to put the rhinestones.

" you know…if you want I have the equipment to give you acrylics…it shouldn't take…" Alice said.

"Alice!" Edward growled after he read the look on my face.

" oh stop!" Alice said pissed.

"Fine I wont give you fake nails…this time!" Alice said. I had a funny feeling to expect all hell to break loose when I was next alone with Alice.

"So Edward now that we're practically family…it's been my dream to own a Porsche…you know like what we drove in Italy!" Alice said winking.

"Maybe for Christmas Alice. If you don't do anything permanent to my girlfriend " Edward said.

"Deal! And I want a Gucci steering wheel cover included…preferably pink." Alice said shaking his hand. Good so I was saved from anything permanent by Alice till at least Christmas.

"Thank you!" I mouthed to Edward. He smiled and nodded. It was then that we dressed while Edward hung in the hall. We then left the room. Alice flew down the stairs like a ghost.

"Anything to make you happy…even buying Alice a sports car." Edward said holding me close.

" yeah I'm sorry about that. Its that Alice always wanted that car. I could tell that she was trying to hold back over the past few weeks but she must have had a moment of weakness or something." I said.

"Don't apologize…at the very least it gives Jasper a heads up on what to get her for Christmas." Edward said.

"true…and if he follows last years pattern…she'll probably think its from you…I know he's the one that left the Gucci cellphone cover on our doorstep last year…considering it was real!" I said.

"There was also a rose next to it…which was odd considering Jasper knows Alice prefers lilies." I said remembering last Christmas…and how lonely I felt. I mean Alice got presents from her stalker, my mom and my dad looking merry. The only worse day was Valentines day…when we opened the door to find that Jasper had actually sent a song-o-gram and a tiffany's bracelet. Alice had ranted about how "Jasper was such a good friend.". seriously my sister didn't need just glasses…she needed eye surgery she was so blind.

"The rose wasn't from Jasper…and it wasn't for Alice…though I could see why you thought that…I didn't know Jasper was going to make it look like it was from him!" Edward said. I stared shocked. Well that explained a lot.

"But you didn't look at the small tag?" Edward asked.

"I assumed the rose was for Alice from Jasper…what does that tell you happened?" I asked.

"Let me guess…Alice ripped the tag off, sniffed it, and jumped around saying "how wonderful Jasper was as a friend?"" Edward said

"That's exactly what she did." I laughed.

"don't worry your secret's safe with me." I continued on. It actually made me feel a little better about that day. I then began to wonder if it was he who periodically left the flowers in my locker.

" What's so cute?" Alice asked walking into the room.

"Oh nothing…I just found out who my secret admirer was." I said.

"I thought Edward already told you that he followed you to every class." Alice said clueless.

"no I meant _the_ secret admirer." I said pointing to the dried flower picture frames that now darted our room. After the flowers began to wilt I placed them in there to always keep them with me.

"Oh that one…I thought I told you not to go looking…wait a minute it was you Edward?" Alice asked. The look on our faces must of confirmed it for Alice shrieked "HOW CUTE!"

"Alright well the fire breather and the belly dancers are here…Jasper's hooking up the last of the twinkle lights and the guests should be here any minute. I think that we should get going don't you?" Alice said pushing us down the stairs. Getting downstairs and seeing strangers on our couches was pretty weird. Alice gave the belly dancers the directions to the master bedroom and the bathroom and then went to check on the cooking team.

"Good good good…the samon looks just right! And the shrimp cocktail looks delicious!" Alice said eyeing the food out. She grabbed a checklist.

"Belly dancers-Check, Fire breather-check, food-check check check…so far everything is going so well!" Alice said psychotically running around

" Balloons?" Jasper asked

"at the four corners of the tent…and at the top too. There's a net that spans the entire tent…can you inflate the twenty packs of balloons…the oxygen tanks are in the back. I want to release them at the end of the party." Alice answered.

"alrite!" Jasper said excitedly. It was going to be one hell of a clean up tomorrow.

" Thank you!" Alice said.

"I love Jasper…he's so cute!" Alice said as Jasper struggled to get the balloons in the net. He somehow seemed to release the balloon net too early and got tangled in it. He fell to the floor.

"Damn it he better of not got grass stains on his suit…its Armani!" Alice said. Edward and I looked at her.

"Did I say Armani…I meant Fakemani!" Alice lied poorly. I had a funny feeling that after this month Alice was going to have her credit cards confiscated"Oh good…spent the last few weeks in jail but the judge went lenient on him and gave him a huge fine instead of more jail time…just got out this morning." Edward said. It was then that the first guests started to arrive.

"alright alright I may of ordered some suits from the Armani catalogue in Charlie's bedroom…but they were perfect…I couldn't get a closer color to your dress if I sewed it myself…and we all know Jasper doesn't look good in anything less then designer made things!" Alice gave up.

" Alice you better hope mom and dad don't open your credit card bill next month!" I said.

"I didn't use my credit card…I used theirs!" Alice said.

"Even worse Alice…you don't think their going to notice the little words "Armani suits" on it!" I gasped.

"That's what white outs for!" Alice said.

"Their going to notice the discrepancy!" I said.

"I can write in that Charlie brought in a large amount of pepper spray…it will give my type writer exercise!" Alice said.

"typewriter?" Edward and I asked together

" yeah well the school was getting suspicious of all the hand written forged absence notes and Charlie would of seen it on our computer since he practically lives on it…I had to do something!" Alice said. She then went to check on the progress Jasper was making

"Your sister is…" Edward started up.

" A planner…tell me about it. There is no scenario that Alice doesn't plan for." I said.

"JAZZAMILLION…NEED MORE TAPE…I HAVE HUNDREDS OF ROLLS!" Alice was shouting.

"See plans for everything!" I laughed.

"your telling me!" Edward said.

"Alright party time in t-minus five minutes and counting. Everything seems all set. I think we're going to pull this off!" Alice said excitedly.

"So how's Emmett?" I asked. I hadn't seen him around since the woods incident.

"Oh good…spent the last few weeks in jail but the judge went lenient on him and gave him a huge fine instead of more jail time…just got out this morning." Edward said. It was then that the first guests started to arrive.


	18. The beginning of an era

__

**i dont own twilight or its characters S/M does. Thanks for the reviews.. please keep them up!**

Chapter 18

BPV.

Alice knew her stuff when it came to throwing events like this. Violet offered her a full time position the minute she got out of college…that's how impressed she was with Alice's work. Everything seemed perfectly coordinated…a shock since Alice was all about the glam and flash. Alice took out her digital camera and snapped pictures.

"to start a book of my work…look at it…its perfect!" Alice said flashing a picture in my face. I was blinded for a second. Alice was acting like it was the party of the century.

"get a picture of me…I want to document this first…come here JazzJazz!" Alice said thrusting the camera in my hand and dragging Jasper next to her. The look of shock was still on his face when I snapped the picture. I eternally snickered at the look on his face. It was then that we heard the sound of an engine cutting out. We looked to see Billy Black's Grand Jeep Cherokee pulling into our driveway. Alice looked murderous…she knew exactly what happened that night…I don't hide anything from my sister. That and the fact that she saw what happened.

"What's he doing here…he wasn't invited?" Alice asked. It then dawned on Alice.

"Charlie…the one free invitation I give him and he invites the Blacks? What the hell is that?" Alice said disgusted..

"Hold on…let me go get my gun!" Alice said running into the house. Edward looked confused, Jasper being the person who alerted Alice to the situation that night looked repulsed.

"Bella…I still dream about us you know!" Jacob said seductive. I heard the cock of a gun. I looked to see the barrel pointed at the back of Jacob's head. The murderous look still etched on Alice's face.

"Don't even think about it Jacob Black. Get the fuck out of here and don't even think about coming back here. You dog!" Alice said disgusted.

"Alice we were invited here…you cant tell us to leave!" Jacob said.

"Damn straight I can…this is my house…my party…my rules…I can tell whoever I want to get the fuck out…and _your _not wanted here!" Alice snarled. The Gucci emblem glinted off her gun…if possible making it more menacing.

"I don't want to be here anyways…this was Billy's idea!" Jacob growled

"Hey Jacob…I was just telling Charlie how excited you were when you saw the invite in our mail box. You were acting like you got a golden ticket or something!" Billy said. I had a feeling that was not all that Jacob did.

"Oh yeah soo Billy's idea!" Alice snorted.

"Jacob I know what you did…Billy can stay but you have to leave. Now take your little toy truck and get the fuck out of here!" Alice snarled. Jacob ran away looking like a wounded puppy.

"good now that that's all over with lets get on with this party!" Alice said excitedly running into the middle of the dance floor where she did the jitterbug with Aunt Clara. Jasper held Alice's gun with reverence in his eyes.

"Allies gun!" Jasper said hugging it. Edward and I rolled our eyes.

"Oh shut up!" Jasper said. He then went off to get him and Alice something to drink. They then took off towards the house together to put Alice's gun back. I could see her hands flying a mile a minute…I could guess what that conversation was about.

"What was that all about?" Edward asked. I guessed Jasper was more loyal to me then I knew.

"it's a long story…we'll talk about it after the party." I said. He did have a right to know…after all it did happen on his property and I was his girlfriend though not at the time. Edward nodded his head.

"Oh look it…grandpa's here!" Jasper said walking over to us and pointing at a red, white , and blue tank that was pulling into the driveway. "Support our troops" was written in yellow on the back. The national anthem blasted from inside the vehicle.

"Please excuse my grandfather…he's extremely patriotic." Edward said.

"Oh don't worry about that…ex-military remember!" I said pointing at Charlie who had his hand on his heart. An extremely built 60 year old jumped out of the thing. He looked oddly familiar. The only thing that gave away any form of age was the cane in his hand.

"Hey kiddies!" Edward's grandfather said walking over to us.

"Grandpa!" Jasper said happily. It was then that something caught the mans eye. He walked over beaming to my father who was about 10 feet away.

"Sergeant Swan?" He called out . My father turned around. It was then that it hit. No…no fricken way! I remembered a picture that my father had on one of the mantels. It was of my father and his best friend/ superior…but it couldn't be. The truth hit like a ton of bricks. The older man in the photo was Edward's grandfather.

"Colonel Cullen?" My father said turning around shocked.

"JACKY!"

"CHARLIE!" they chanted happily

"Your dad is Kill-a-Swan?" Edward asked with a blatant tone of shock in his voice.

"Your grandfather is Jack "The Killer" Cullen?" I asked with the same tone in my voice. Edward then smiled.

"I guess this shows that we were meant to be!" Edward laughed.

"Wow what a small world!" Alice said. She then went to check on the DJ.

"Bella you could of informed some of us that your dad was part of a legendary two man killing force in the army! Like I worried enough as it was about what he'd do if he caught me spying on Alice before. Now I find out that he was a fricken beast in the army! Now I'm gonna have to take extra precautions!" Jasper groaned.

"well at least now we have a face to put to the old war stories!" Edward said. I nodded in agreement,

"Oh that's your kids…I wondered when Jasper bragged about Alice being a badass!" we could hear their grandfather going on.

"That's your grandkids…I should of known…they look a lot like you…especially the blonde. He also has the take no prisoners attitude!" Charlie said. Jasper beamed.

"Damn straight…trained him myself!" Grandpa Cullen said. It was then that we saw a jeep fly by the house…but it wasn't Jacob. It was Emmett.

"Please don't let him see!" I mumbled under my breath. The Jeep then flew back in reverse.

"HEY A PARTY'S NOT A PARTY UNLESS EMMETT'S INVOLVED!" Emmett shouted running into the tent.

"Ooh Belly dancers!" Emmett said staring at the half naked women dancing in the tent.

"Ugh its that friggen kid again!" Charlie moaned.

"You hate Emmett too?" Grandpa Cullen asked. They looked at each other and smiled.

"Oh no…they met?" Emmett asked petrified. Next thing we knew Emmett was running into the woods.

"Charlie remember our saying?" Grandpa Cullen said. From the new angle he was standing at I could that his "cane" had a trigger.

"Yep! Keep your friends close but your guns closer!" Charlie beamed whipping out his shot gun from under a table. Emmett was going to be in for it this time.

"Just like desert storm!" They said jumping on to the ATV and driving into the woods. A couple of minutes later we could hear Emmett screaming.

"YOUR NOT GOING TO OUTRUN US YOU LITTLE BASTARD…GET OVER HERE!" They screamed. Emmett then popped out of the woods and into the back yard. The ATV flew over him and turned around upon landing.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Emmett screamed running for his life towards his car.

"I should of did that with Jacob!" Alice smiled. The Jeep whipped out of the driveway and the ATV followed. I swore I heard gunshots and a girl like scream.

"Grandpa…Charlie…Grandpa…Charlie!" Jasper said identified which shots belonging to which gun. We then heard a small explosion.

"Direct hit…he's not going to be going anywhere anytime soon!" Grandpa Cullen chanted excitedly. The next time we saw the ATV it was speeding off towards the McCarthy household with Emmett on the back.

"our relatives are such badasses…don't you love it!" Alice said happily. We looked to see Edward's dad shooting sympathetic looks with a hint of embarrassment in his eyes. He felt bad about Grandpa Cullen acting up at our party. Just then the sword swallower came out.

An hour later we were all eating dinner when we saw Alice and Jasper whispering. We only caught snippets of the conversation.

"Are you sure?" Alice asked.

"Its now or never!" Jasper whispered back.

"Okay!" Alice said. Jasper then stood up.

"I've got an announcement to make everyone…I've enlisted in the army. They're paying for my schooling and then I'm going off to boot camp afterwards!" Jasper said happily.

Judging by their reactions his parents didn't know about this. Esme cried and Carlisle dropped the salmon he was eating. Grandpa Cullen was clapping.

"Finally someone that wants to follow in my footsteps!" He said glaring between Carlisle and Edward. I found it ironic that he was ending lives when Carlisle was saving them.

"WHY?…YOUR GOING TO DIE OUT THERE!" Esme sobbed.

"He's a Cullen…he's not going to die…HE'S GOING TO KICK SOME MOTHER FUCKING ASS!" Grandpa Cullen whopped with pride.

"DAD WATCH YOUR MOUTH!" Carlisle said embarrassed. We looked as Esme was now catatonic. Carlisle was now slipping something in her mouth.

"Great party…now all we need is someone to come out of the closet…wouldn't that be the icing on the cake!" Charlie joked. Just then Eric Yorkie stood up ( Alice invited a couple of classmates as well).

"That's okay Jasper…I support you…I'm gay…I'm coming out you better get this party started!" He sang the last part. Everyone stood there in shock. But that shock was nothing compared to what was yet to come.

"Come here Embry!" he said gesturing to Jacob's cousin Embry. They practically ate each others faces off. The DJ skillfully turned up the music to take the attention off the newly minted couple making out in the middle of the dance floor. Billy had a twitch going…he wasn't thrilled about this considering Embry lived with Billy.

"At least they can be happy now together." Jasper said.

"Yeah but Eric shared a locker room with us…now I know how the girls feel when guys check them out." Edward said slightly creped out.

"Maybe he'll go shopping with me …but I have to say I didn't see that one coming…well with Embry I could but Eric nah…but it does explain why it took him like an hour to…" Alice said.

"Alice stop right there." I said.

"but I cant believe it…I got with a gay guy…I must have been lit that night or else I would of picked up on the signs and I would of stopped it. God I hope he didn't cheat on Embry with me!" Alice said.

" and there it is." Charlie said.

"Uh Charlie…do you mind if I stay over tonight…its just that its really dark out and there's drunk people out on the road." Edward said when the party dwindled down to a few people. Charlie looked with an irked look on his face.

"Okay I will get the sofa ready for you son!" Charlie said.

"DAD!" I snarled.

"What?" Charlie said innocently.

"I'm sure Allie doesn't want some strange man sleeping in her room!" Charlie said.

"Dad I've known and been friends with Edward for longer then Bella has…he's no strange man to me!" Alice said. If only Charlie knew about Italy!

"Alright since you guys are going to gang up on me…as long as Allie's in the room!" Charlie said. The look on Alice's face said otherwise.

"Like dad really…REALLY…you want me sleeping in the same room with my sister and her boyfriend!" Alice said. I didn't know why she was fighting that…as long as I was sleeping in Edward's arms I was fine.

"Its that or its nothing!" Charlie said.

"No its that or it's the ear muffs!" Alice said under her breath. Charlie was starting to wonder why he was waking up with ear muffs on his ears.

"You'll thank me later!" Alice said smiling. As soon as the last guests left we went into the house. As we were going upstairs Charlie made an I'm watching you gesture to Edward.

"Alice maybe you shouldn't leave…with your father's personality…when he sees you not there and me alone with Bella he's going to murder us all!" Edward gulped.

"That's exactly why I have this!" Alice said taking out a dummy that was her size and in her likeness. She took out her cellphone and played the voice recording of her saying " Gucci…Prada…Fendi"

"He'll never know!" Alice said grabbing her stuff and walking down stairs the minute we heard the door to the master bedroom shut. There was a smile on her face as she headed out the door.

"Good night!" Alice said as she lightly shut the door

I took out my bathroom supplies and headed in there to get ready for bed.


	19. The past will always come out

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming! some of you may not like part of the first part of this chapter but please keep in mind that it has to happen for the second part to happen...it also explains why Alice acts the way she does in the beginning of Chapter 18 "The beginning of an era." **

Chapter 19

_Italic's = What Bella wrote down_

normal= Edwar's point of view and his thoughts on what she wrote down.

EPV

I was alone for the first time ever in Bella's room. I got my first good look around and took in all the sights. Walking over to the bureau I saw a diary that had the initials _B.S _on it. Normally I would of ignored it but I really loved to read what she wrote. Figuring that a lot of poems and such would be in there I opened the diary.

_First diary entry ever._

_Dear, Diary._

_Normally I don't do this kind of stuff…I love to write fantasy…but to make Alice happy I'm going to start to journal. This diary was a gift from her for my birthday. I asked her about the initials on the cover…she said she'd rather go with the initials of what I prefer then the ones of my actual name. Thanks so much Alice!_

_Today was in addition to my birthday…the first day of high school. We started a little late because they had a teacher's strike…apparently Mr. McCarthy wasn't putting too much money into the school. They say that people change when they switch from middle to high school. Well they were wrong. Mr. McCarthy's son Emmett is still the most pompous ass that I ever met…and that is an understatement. They actually almost ran me over…and laughed about it._

(some things never change obviously…assholes always stay assholes)_ Alice loved her new surroundings…she automatically bonded with her new textiles teachers. The blonde hoes known as Tanya and Kate caused a ruckus at lunch…something about their chicken salad not being right. Everything was wrong to those girls…they were the bitchiest girls ever. Alice made the lunch ladies feel better by giving them stylish makeover's and hair cuts. I had my first flushie or whatever its called…by Emmett. I will be counting down the days until I graduate to get away from him. I've asked Charlie to put me in boarding school but he said no…that we didn't have the money._

The next entries were basically Emmett being a dick to Bella. It was kind of sickening how much Emmett tormented her…why couldn't he just leave the poor girl alone? It was then that one caught my eye. It was dated about mid point in high school.

Dear diary.

__

I was walking by the band room when I heard the most beautiful music ever. I looked in to see what could only be described as a god sitting at the only piano in the room. Well if he was one…his gift was probably musical because the music he was playing sounded divine . I sighed. He had to be new…I would of remembered going to school with someone like him! 

I was on a high after reading that. It was so beautiful…what she wrote. So it stung really bad when I read the next entry.

( not going to lie I was really intrigued at this point…she thought of me as a god? I smiled at the thought)_ I'm going to have to make more pit stops to the band room. He was …I cant even describe him. I think others would say the he was my dream guy!_

Dear Diary.

_WHY GOD WHY? WHY DOES MY DREAM GUY HAVE TO BE BEST FRIENDS WITH EMMETT MCCARTHY ? WHY DID YOUDO THIS TO ME? YOU COULDN'T AT LEAST GIVE ME A CHANCE WITH HIM! EMMETT'S GOING TO FOLLOW ME AROUND FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE LAUGHING! HE'S GOING PROBABLY BE MY BOSS EVEN THOUGH HE'S SO DUMB…HE'S GOING TO BE THE MINISTER AT MY WEDDING_._ I CAN JUST PICUTRE IT NOW " HERE COMES SHAKESPEARE'S LOVER…DOES HE MIND THAT YOUR NOT MARRYING HIM?" AND " I OBJECT TO THIS UNION CUZ SHE'S CHEATING WITH SHAKESPEARE!". WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PUT EMMETT MCCARTHY IN MY LIFE? _NOW HE'S _GOING_ _TO HAVE _THOSE_ GIRLS AROUND HIM…AM I MEANT TO BE ALONE? _( I couldn't believe she felt that way already…that she thought that…jesus Emmett really fucked with her head!)

his_ brother Jasper found me in the attempt to look for toilet paper for himself. Jasper was nice and normal…and considering he was also a victim of Emmett already ( the Cullen's had only been here a day) I found comradeship in my hatred of Emmett. Emmett picks on everyone…he's just an asshole _( Jasper said nothing about this meeting…he said Alice introduced them in class on our third day there…traitor! Definitely talking to him about this later) _subsequently there was now a nice grape stain on Emmett's shirt…courtesy of Alice. Well I gotta go…Alice is begging to do a makeover!_

The next couple of entries were mostly about watching me play. She felt that this was the closest _that_ she could ever get so she settled for it. I loved the way she wrote it…it felt heartfelt. I could feel what she could feel as she was writing it. Expecting the next entry to be the same as the past 5 I flipped the page. I was in for a shock.

Dear diary.

_Today was the worst day ever. I shouldn't of woken up. I should of just stayed home. But no I make the unfortunate mistake of waking up and going to school. Do you want to know the repercussions of that mistake (_ no I don't think I want to know Diary Bella, but your probably going to say it anyways!)_…getting suspended in mid air on a flag pole with Emmett singing "the star spangle banner" and laughing moronically. Jasper and Alice discovered me when they were skipping gym class to get drunk. To make matters worse Emmett broke the god damn pulley so no one could get me down. Jasper had to call 911 _( I had to read it again…Jasper had to call 911...oh really dear brother…why did you not inform me about any of this! No wonder why she gave me disgusted looks that first night in the Italian Hospital…but how was Emmett getting away with this?)_ if your wondering why Emmett is getting away with this…he is a McCarthy lets not forget. He can buy anything he wants in this town…including judges_ ( it was funny reading this statement now considering he had just gotten arrested.) _which he so valiantly flaunted every second he wasn't calling me Shakespeare's lover. The only saving grace was that _he_ was out sick today…something about partying too much last night. Charlie slapped Emmett with simple assault for this latest incident and Alice got him with an open hand. Looked like it was going to bruise too._

It was then that Bella walked in at this point. Seeing the diary in my hand she walked over. Most girls would get extremely flustered over this but not her. She looked as if she was fine with it.

"You don't mind do you?" I asked pointing to the diary.

"No you probably know half the stuff in there considering our brother and sister are best friends and Emmett likes to brag…and the other half you need to know." Bella said. I found it odd the way she said the last part but I continued reading anyways. I read the next few entries aloud and Bella provided more details on them then she even wrote down.

And in other Emmett McCarthy related news he fucking locked me in the janitors closet today. He said something about spending seven minutes in heaven by myself and " to get used to it!" such a nice guy…I know! I spent a god damn hour in there before Alice's new found friend and

_Dear diary_

_I am in the hospital and for once it's not Emmett's fault. I was at a friends house and Alice couldn't give me a ride since she went to another house party and was practically passed out drunk so I decided to walk home since my car was in the repair shop. Big mistake! As I was walking home, Mike- who was leaving the same party- drove his shitbox suburban up the side walk nearly killing me. I wasn't hit but in my attempt to get away I slipped on ice and hit my head. I woke up to his father shining a light in my eyes and talking about how he was visiting some friends of the family in Seattle that weekend._ (Bella filled me in on which weekend it was and she seemed shocked that I didn't know about it…I asked Jasper if I missed any parties that weekend…traitor lied!)_ Alice and Jasper were in the Community hospitals drunk tank…sobering up before they could see me._ Cant say too much more…my head is killing me.(well it was possible that he may not remember that.)

I read through the next few entries fine. It was mostly about watching me through the peep whole, the mysterious flowers in her locker and how classes were going. She wrote that she was getting suspicious of Jasper's feelings for Alice when he started taking an abnormal amount of home ech classes for a guy. She said she felt sympathetic for him because she knew what he was going through. As I flipped the page to read on after an entry about Jasper goofing up a sewing project she placed her hand in front of the page.

"Please before you read this understand that I was in a really bad place. I was drunk and upset…I thought I blew my chance with you." Bella said solemnly. I knew that this cant be good. As I looked the page was crinkled with dried tears.

_Dear diary._

_I TOTALLY FUCKED UP! I THREW UP IN FRONT OF MY CRUSH! THERE IS NO WAY HE'S EVER GOING TO TALK TO ME NOW…NEVER MIND ANYTHING ELSE! TO BOOT I WAS RAPED BY JACOB BLACK_! ( My jaw dropped. I didn't want to read anymore but Bella told me that she wanted me to know her past…both the good and the bad.)

__

Alright here's the story from the beginning. Alice had brought me to a party that was hosted by

him_ and Jasper. She thought at the very least I could talk to a few people and Charlie agreed that I needed more friends. When we got in Alice took off to find some beer and Emmett gave me a couple of shots of what he said was Vodka. Well if this was vodka I couldn't understand why people loved to drink it so much. I didn't feel much of a buzz…just really dizzy and sick. Alice rushed me to the bathroom before I could get sick right where I was standing. As Alice was talking about not drinking what she called Ever clear ( She saw the bottle as Emmett had passed it around the entire party) and I was puking in the toilet_ he ___walked in _( I didn't need to read the next part…I already knew that Emmett dragged a crowd of people to the bathroom chanting " Bella lightweight!")__

I lost Alice in the crowd as we were heading out. When I finally spotted her , she was at the bar with Jasper doing jello shots. The thing was she up until that point was the sober one…she promised to drive home!

"great now who's going to give me a ride home?" I asked a loud.

( I hated reading this part…I felt like I knew something was going to happen yet I couldn't stop it.) ___I heard a familiar voice from behind me say "I'll give you a ride!". I turned to see Jacob Black behind me. He was safe I thought…I should of known this assumption was wrong from the look in his eye but I was too blasted to notice. We went to the truck and I got into the passenger side door. The minute the driver's side door was shut he practically ate my face off. He didn't take no for an answer as much as I screamed it. I knew that if I tried to punch him in the face I would completely miss and hit the window. I was too drunk and upset to fight back. I don't need to say what he did next _(alright I was going to fuck this kid up the next time I saw him…taking advantage of Bella like that! No wonder why Alice tried to kill him today!)__

_Right when he was finished with what he obviously set out to do Alice threw the cab door open._

"GET OFF OF HER YOU SICK PERVERT…YOUR SUCH A DOG!" Alice yelled decking him in the face. As we drove home she told me how Jasper had seen some bits and pieces of what was happening from the bar…he was the bartender.

( Alright…first Jasper lied about Bella talking in her sleep, then the closet, then the flag pole, then the car wreck if he remembered it…and now a rape? I was going to have a talk with my brother at some point about how much he was holding out!)__

_I gotta go…I gotta go cry now!_

I got up at that point and hugged Bella. I was surprised that she seemed normal…and even more surprised that Charlie didn't slaughter the kid the minute he touched his property…then again from his actions he probably didn't know. But why wouldn't she say anything?

"Why didn't you say anything?" I asked.

"His dad is my dad's best friend…one of his only friends left. Besides I didn't want to be the girl that cried rape. Alice and your brother were a great help and the reason I got through everything." Bella said. Well that explained the influx of dealing with psychological trauma books that Jasper had gotten in the weeks after that party. I held her close.

"I promise he'll never get that close to you ever again." I whispered in her ear. I would rip him apart before that happened.

BPV

It was at this point that Charlie came in to "check" on us. Edward couldn't close the diary fast enough before Charlie got a glimpse of the words "I was raped by Jacob Black". His face turned a nice shade of plum and we heard weird gasping sounds coming from him. I thought he was going to have a heart attack.

"Did you know about this?" Charlie hissed to Edward.

"I just found out tonight." Edward said disgusted.

"Common son…lets go hunting!" Charlie said charging out the door.

"RENEE GET MY GUNS!" Charlie shouted. A bleary eyed Alice appeared in the door.

"What's going on?" Alice asked.

"Dad knows what Jacob did." I said.

"Ooh…Daddy can I come too…please…if you love me take me…I've already got my gun ready!" Alice called running down the stairs. This was the night she was waiting for. We could hear Alice on the phone from downstairs.

"Jazzy its Alice…Charlie knows…its going down tonight. Yeah meet us on the reservation…bring the best weapons you have…love ya!" Alice said.

"COMMON BOY WE'RE LEAVING…BELLS YOUR MOM IS GOING TO STAY WITH YOU!" Charlie said throwing a shot gun at Edward. Charlie was on the war path.

EPV

We stormed through the front door and Billy's wheelchair squeaked in front of Jacobs door. From the look in his eye Billy guessed why we were here…which was pathetic that he was still trying to protect Jacob over it. Embry came out in flamboyant pink pj's.

Omg don't shoot me!" Embry screamed like a girl and ran back into his room.

"I know why you're here Charlie…be mindful that it happened like a year ago…at _their _residence!" Billy said pointing at Jasper and I. He was going to try to lay the blame on us for his son being a pervert.

"like that makes it better!" Jasper snarled.

"They shouldn't be held responsible for your son's actions…I thought you were a good boy Jacob!" Charlie called the last part into the bedroom. We heard something move under the bed.

"COWARD!" I barked at him.

"She wanted it…she came on to me!" Jacob whined.

"THAT'S A LIE…I BEARED WITNESS TO THE CRIME…HE ATTACKED HER!" Jasper shouted. Alice held her gun up like a pitch fork. It looked extremely funny because that gun was twice the size of her.

"LET US IN THERE!" Alice snarled.

"Shut up little one!" Billy said. Jasper jumped in front of her in her defense.

"Get out of the way Billy and let us at the little pervert…he needs to face the consequences for what he did!" Jasper glowered.

"So help me god Billy I will shoot you out of that wheelchair if you don't move out of the way!" Charlie snarled. The wheelchair jumped three feet in the air. Charlie busted the door down and dragged Jacob out from under the bed.

"COME HERE YOU LITTLE PERVERT!" Charlie roared pistol whipping Jacob. Embry was crying from his bedroom.

"EMBRY IF YOU WERE A MAN YOU'D HELP YOUR COUSIN OUT!" We heard Billy shouting. I pointed my gun at the back of Jacobs head. Out of pure enjoyment I shoved it in closer.

"I find out that you were anywhere near Bella ever again…you put one foot down on her property and they wont find your body…but I'll gladly confess to Chief Swan." I snarled. Charlie smiled. Jacob yelped like the pervert dog he was. In the struggle that insured afterwards Jacob tried to punch Charlie. The anger in Alice's eyes blazed anew. A gun blasted and Alice smiled.

"DON'T YOU EVER TRY TO TOUCH MY FATHER!" Alice snarled looking at the nice hole in Jacobs flooring that was in between Jacobs feet.

"next one's going where the sun don't shine Jacob!" Alice snarled. Personally I think Alice should of did that the first time. Jacob scurried behind the bed again. In the attempt to get Jacob , Jasper had picked up the mattress and threw it…knocking Billy off his wheel chair. He had come thinking that Jacob had gotten shot.

"Whoa now its getting serious!" Billy said laying on the floor.

"Billy he touched my baby…its been serious!" Charlie gruffed.

"Oh now all the kids are touching these days." Billy defended. If Billy didn't shut up I was going to kick him.

"There's a difference between _relationships _and_ rape_…stop trying to defend your pervert son. " Charlie said.

"Girls lie Charlie…why would Jakey touch your Bells…we've been friends for a long time!" Billy said.

"Bella didn't say anything to me …I read it in her diary you dip shit! I don't think girls lie in their diaries!" Charlie growled.

"And Jazzy and I are witnesses…I had to pull your pervert son off of her! Am I lying too…and is Jazz…seems like a lot of people are conspiring against your son Billy. What's your excuse now!" Alice said snidely.

"Uh he was drunk!" Billy said.

"Please "he was drunk"…was he too drunk to understand the word no…which if memory serves she was screaming constantly that night…which I could hear from the minute I exited the house!…if he was that trashed that he couldn't understand simple commands we definitely would have had to call the paramedics…and I saw him at the party…he wasn't that drunk if he was walking around for a long period of time with no drink in his hand…and mind you Bella was extremely out of it that night because someone had tricked her into drinking extremely hard alcohol…which your son knew about because he was standing right there…he was chanting "Chug chug chug" when she took the first few shots. Not to mention he was one of the people in the crowd chanting "Bella Lightweight!"…too drunk…please…more like too perverted…couldn't keep it in his pants…but then again you must know all about that Billy…what's that…porno…not so paralyzed over there are we!" Alice said pointing to the sheets of naked women sticking out from under his chair.

"Billy!" Charlie growled.

"That is not the point. The point is that Jacob didn't do anything wrong!" Billy said.

"Look asshole your going to believe your son who would have cause to lie to you over Charlie and Bella who have two witnesses to cooperate their story, either your very stupid or very in denial. Either way life must be a breeze for you!" I said.

"And tell them what he did to you Allie!" Jasper growled.

"Jasper that was consensual…I was out of it but it was consensual." Alice said.

"I don't need to know that Alice!" Charlie said grossed out.

"See…Proof Alice would do this to my Jacob to cover up the lie!" Billy said.

"Ew no Billy…if anything it just proves Bella's case more…if we just wanted to start something then we would both claim rape!" Alice growled.

"Billy I always thought you were my friend till now…now I think you were just using me so that you could get a look at my wife…they say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree…" Charlie said.

"Oh shit…Renee told you about Seattle?" Billy asked oddly scared. I had a feeling that something Charlie wouldn't want to know was about to come out.

"What?" Charlie asked.

"Nothing!" Billy said really fast.

"That was you?…I KNEW IT! 'going into the Women's fitting room by mistake' my ass…too bad I was in a fitting room or else I would of punched you out myself. Mom did get a good right hook in though…looking through all the occupied dressing rooms in the woman's dressing room…when the men's is on the third floor and we were on the first!" Alice growled.

"WHAT!" Charlie gasped. Next thing we knew Charlie's fist was in the air connecting at Billy's face. He then kicked the wheelchair that Billy had just managed to climb into…sending it into the bathroom. It was stopped by the toilet.

"SCUMBAGS…THE ONLY ONE IN YOUR FAMILY THAT HAS COMMON SENSE IS EMBRY…AT LEAST HE KNOWS NOT TO ASSAULT MY DAUGHTER AND CHECK OUT MY WIFE!" Charlie said sticking his head into the bathroom. I then turned as Jacob made to escape.

"Where do you think your going?" I said throwing him onto his mattress.

"Uh Edward!" Alice said holding up a wrapped gift with a card that said "To my dear Bella!" on it Alice opened the gift to reveal negligee and the card read "I'll be back tonight for round two!"

"Round _two?_" I growled.

"Edward since when did you give a shit about Bella…you used to not even talk to her!" Jacob said. Dude its none of his business why I should care but ill tell him so he knows she's off limits.

"incase your stupid ass didn't know…we're together…like seriously do you not have a face book?" I asked.

"You…Bella?" Jacob asked still confused.

"Yes dumbass…we're together…as in a relationship!" I said extremely slow. It was then Jacob realized why I was here…and he gulped.

"Ooh my bad!" was all Jacob said.

"'Ooh my bad?' You fucking raped my girlfriend…and you were about to do it again!" I roared clenching my fist. I was just about to knock him out when we heard the wail of police sirens. Everyone looked around in confusion.

"Who called the cops?" Alice asked

"I'M SORRY…I COULDN'T TAKE THE FIGHTING!" Embry said from his room.

" damn it Embry… you know Charlie's the chief of police…they're never going to believe our side at all!" Billy said peeling out in his wheelchair and hiding his weed and his pornography. I was making mental notes so I could show them where it was.

"Honestly I don't care…if Jacob raped somebody its his own fault!" Embry said. Finally some common sense in that family. Between Alice, Jasper, the negligee, the note, and the diary pages that Charlie had ripped out before we left they didn't need any DNA to arrest Jacob. Billy went on the run. I don't know how but he some how managed to hitchhike a ride with someone. The police were on the look out for him because they found his weed and Charlie said he had knowledge about the crime and didn't report it. Billy was now on "Forks 10 most wanted" list. Jacob was arrested and Charlie beamed as they threw him into the squad car…as did I. I was glad to see that disgusting pig get what he deserved! Alice snapped a picture.

"For Bella to see!" Alice said smiling.

"you know I think this is the first time that I beat the crap out of someone and they got arrested." Alice said as the cars fanned out in search for Billy.

"Well guys what do you want to do? Look for Billy? Or go home?" Charlie asked.

"nahh lets go home…you never know…Jacob might escape…though he's very stupid he's fast and the cops aren't as agile as they used to be." Alice said. Charlie nodded in agreement.

"alright lets go home then." Charlie said going to his cruiser.


	20. Friends

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. oh and i dont own Lady Gaga either...thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 20

BPV

While everyone was gone I told my mom everything that happened. She hugged me and was really supportive of it all. A little while later the cruiser pulled into the driveway. Edward came in and hugged me. Charlie had this half smirk half disgusted look on his face.

"I'm so sorry dad…I know Billy's your friend…"I sighed.

"A person who checks out my wife and defends his rapist son is no friend of mine!" Charlie said disgusted.

"you know?" My mother asked shocked. I wasn't the only one to stay silent out of fear of ruining Charlie's friendship.

"Yes I know…Billy slipped and Alice informed me of the rest!" Charlie said. My mother looked at Alice.

"What the cat was already out of the bag!" Alice said

"Well I'm off to clean my gun…see ya tomorrow Jazzy!" Alice said walking to a closet as Jasper went out the front door.

" So what happened?" I asked. There was obviously a story to tell.

"We went there, Billy tried to defend Jacob who cowered in his bedroom, we kicked some ass, Billy again tried to stop us, the thing about you mom came out, you dad kicked Billy's ass, Jacob tried to escape, , and then the police showed up and all hell broke loose." Edward answered.

" what was that second to last part…I didn't catch it?" I asked.

"lets just say Jacob was planning on visiting you tonight." Edward said raising his eyebrows. I gulped

"Don't worry…I'll be here, your gun's in your closet, Alice's probably going to sleep with her gun and a machete under her pillow, and the chief of police is in the room down the hall and as far as we know Jacob's bubba's bitch tonight. Your well protected." Edward said holding me close. I could smell his sweet sent and I relaxed a bit. I had to admit that it did make me feel a little more safer.

"night guys!" Charlie said taking out his .38. We then headed upstairs. Edward gave me my privacy as we got ready to go to sleep. We took the gun out of the closet and laid it against the wall in case it was needed.

About an hour later I heard this noise coming from the front lawn. It kind of sounded like the squeaking of a wheelchair which was odd because we were practically in a forest and nothing in nature sounds like that. I looked at a sleeping Edward…he was in a death like sleep and then went to the window. Considering Charlie left the front lights on I could see everything in the front of the house. There was two figures darting across the front lawn…and one of them was in a wheelchair.

"Um Edward?" I said shaking his shoulder. All I got was louder snoring.

"EDWARD!" I said louder with panic in my voice. The wheelchair meant Billy which meant the massive figure next to him was definitely Jacob. He was starting to wake up when there was a loud noise from down the hall. The front door burst open and Alice screamed "OH HELL NO!" Edward sprung up at this point and grabbed the shot gun. We could hear grizzly bear noises coming from Charlie's room. We were down the stairs in two seconds flat…my father right behind us. We then went outside. Alice was standing there with a machete in one hand and her assault rifle in the other. The rifle was pointed at Jacob's head ( She was holding the gun with both hands…the machete was resting against the side of the gun).

"YOU! I THOUGHT I WARNED YOU NOT TO STEP FOOT ON THIS PROPERTY!" Edward snarled decking Jacob in the face. Jacob was on the ground with Edward pointing the shot gun to his face.

"she wanted me here…she called me!" Jacob whined from the ground.

"Don't sell me that bullshit…I was with you all night…I saw your call records when the police hauled your ass off to jail and confiscated your cell phone…she definitely did not call you…besides I was with her after I was with you so I would know if she called you." Edward snarled. He pushed the gun closer. It was at this point that Billy stupidly went to attack Edward. Like seriously who does that when there's mad people with guns pointed at you. Next thing I saw was Charlie's body flying through the air and effectively knocking Billy to the ground. Now that's something that I thought I'd never see…Charlie attacking his now former friend in the effort to protect my boyfriend.

"Billy you son of a bitch…how could you…how could you let your son try to do something to my daughter." Charlie snarled. I saw a shocked look cross Alice's face. She obviously thought the same thing I did. My mom was hanging in the doorway.

"Jacob Black what would your mother say if she were alive…I bet she's rolling in her grave right now!" My mother said disgusted. Jacob tried to break free at that point and another scuffle ensued. With Charlie and Billy still dueling it out it was starting to look like a free for all. Alice went to fight but Charlie blocked her from getting in on the action. It was then that all hell broke loose.

"JACOB!" We heard shouting from the woods. Next thing we knew there was like thirty people from the reservation descending from the woods into our backyard. Alice tossed me the assault rifle and got her machete ready for the attack. She looked like she would fight to the death. My mom even ran out with a bat in the effort to help take people down. Alice and I were fighting back to back when we first heard an engine. Then the lights of a light blue Jeep Wrangler came busting through our woods. Emmett giving death glares from behind the wheel and Jasper sitting in the passenger seat pointing at the group. They were blasting ACDC "For those about to rock (we salute you)" The crowd scampered as Emmett's car drove onto the front lawn.

"THAT'S RIGHT…RUN YOU COWARDS!" Emmett yelled out the window as the group ran away. Edward and Charlie got in one last punch before Jacob and Billy screwed out of there.

"Emmett?" Edward asked shocked. How the hell did he know where to go?

"Jasper told me about what happened tonight. We had a feeling that it wasn't over so we sat in the woods cuz A. your still my best friend and I know you'd have my back if the shoe were on the opposite foot, 2. Only I'm allowed to be mean to Bella…and maybe my possible girlfriends to an extent, and D. to rape a girl is fucked up…even I'm not that much of an asshole." Emmett said. Well that explained a lot. When Emmett was talking to Charlie about hunting Jacob down Jasper walked over to us.

"I'm sorry guys but I had to. Rosalie's out in France…and everyone else we know knows Eric who's bedding Embry. Emmett was my last hope." Jasper said.

"So Emmett when did you get the second car?" Edward asked.

"Oh it was a gift from my dad before he got thrown in jail. We picked it out the day after graduation…it was supposed to be the replacement car for if I ever got into an accident or something." Emmett said.

"who's Rosalie?" I asked.

"our cousin…you wouldn't know it from the look of her but when she gets pissed boy you don't want to be around her…a temper that one has. Until Alice the only girl I ever saw who liked to fight was Rosalie. You know I think you three would get along really well." Edward said.

"Sounds hot!" Emmett said.

"dude that's our cousin!" Edward said grossed out.

"So she's not mine!" Emmett said.

"You probably will never meet her anyways." Jasper said. Emmett looked slightly bummed.

"Well I guess this bumps me down a lot on your dads hit list." Emmett laughed.

"Yeah from what first to third?" I snickered.

"yeah well it will keep him off me a little for a while." Emmett said. Emmett was going to revel in not being Charlie's target for a while

Emmett and Jasper left after a little while, though I think that Jasper returned and perched himself outside the window where Alice was sleeping. Edward and I went back upstairs.

"How did you know Alice had a machete?" I asked.

"Gift from Jasper…used to be mine." Edward said. Well that explained why "E.C" was engraved into it. Alice told me it was the name of the company that made it.

"glad to see it went to good use though." Edward said.

"yeah at least it went to someone who would actually use it." I sighed. As I laid back down Edward held me tight in his arms. From the look on his face he wasn't going to fall back asleep tonight. As I looked into his smoking green eyes a peaceful blackness enveloped. I knew I would be well protected tonight.

I awoke as a rare sunlight started to shine into the window. Edward was in the exact same position that he was last night. A smile crossed his exhausted face as he saw my eyes flutter open.

"Good morning!" He greeted.

"did you get any sleep last night?" I asked. He pulled me in for a quick kiss.

"Not a wink!" He said smiling. I laid in his arms for a few more minutes. It was then that I got the courage to ask a question that had been bothering me for a while.

"How did you know what my favorite flower was?" I asked. Edward looked at me puzzled. I gestured to all the dried sunflower heads that were framed.

"Oh…well you remember that field trip that we took …the greenhouse one?" Edward said. Oh I remembered.

"well before everything went down…I saw you out in that area that was where they grew the sunflowers. You were talking about how beautiful they were and stuff. Alice said she always preferred lilies." Edward said.

"That's odd…I don't remember seeing you in there." I would of remembered that.

"I may have been under a table…it was Jasper's idea!" Edward said looking away at the last part. He could be so cute sometimes! I then remembered the rest of that day.

Flashback.

_BPV_

_I was heading to get a drink from the extremely large punch bowl that they had out to offer us some refreshments when I saw Emmett heading towards it and acting really weird. It looked like an extremely large bottle was sticking out of his shirt. Odd but then again it was Emmett…well at least I knew to stay away from that. I brushed it off and tried to go about my business. To tell the truth I was really afraid of Emmett to say anything. A few minutes later I saw Jaspers eyes shifting as he was trying to inconspicuously -while being extremely conspicuous- pour liquid from the flask he was holding into the punchbowl. I don't think he knew what Emmett did. A few more minutes flew by and I saw Alice looking to see if the coast was clear. When she dubbed that she was safe she whipped out a bottle of Vodka from her purse that was about the same size as Emmett's, walked over, and blatantly dumped it into the punch bowl. I saw his eyes flash to Alice and I could tell he was thinking the same thing I was…definitely not drinking that. Two hours and watching Alice walk to the bowl about ten times later everyone with the exception of me and him were completely trashed. The teachers sensing something was wrong when Alice puked all over their shoes called 911. Needless to say she was the worst out of everyone.__ they placed him in the bed next to her. The curtain separated us._

_"In ya go Alice!" I said as the paramedics wrestled and tied her into a stretcher. She elbowed one of the medics in the face in the attempt to break free. I then picked up my phone and called my dad._

_"uh dad we have a problem." I said._

_"What did you break this time Bells." My father said. I rolled my eyes._

_"its not me it's Alice…uh I think the punch she drank was spiked." I said._

_"WHAT!" Charlie snarled as Alice was incoherently babbling about going to the mall._

_"Can you drop us off at the mall?" Alice asked._

_"Okay!" they said as we veered off in the direction of the nearest hospital. _

_"Shopping!…Bells I know the perfect purse…" Alice slurred heavily._

_"WHO DID THIS TO MY BABY!" Charlie roared. I didn't have the heart to tell him that his baby did this to herself._

_"Uh I don't know!" I said to cover Jasper and Alice's ass and to protect myself from Emmett_

_"I'll find out…they hurt Alice…they could of hurt you! Thank god you didn't drink that…I couldn't deal with having two girls hospitalized!" Charlie said._

_"dad I got to go…we're pulling in!" I said hanging up the phone._

_"This isn't the mall!" Alice slurred looking at the hospital building._

_"it's a special type of mall…you can sleep here…its open all night long!" I said._

_"Ooh dream mall!" Alice said as they put her in the ER. I was at her bed side with her finally quiet only because a pump was down her throat. They had to knock her out to do it. I looked as a second stretcher rolled in behind her. _He_ was holding Jasper's hand as they placed him in the bednext to her behind the closed curtain_

_"Allie…Al-Al…where are you Al?" Jasper was moaning. I saw the curtain shift a little and he said "don't worry Alice is right next to you Jasper."He was trying to consol him. I read a book as they continued to pump Alice's stomach. Cuz of her size it was the only way they could treat her. I was thinking about possibly considering conversing with him when a third bed rolled into the emergency room. Emmett was crying "MOMMY!" as they stuck him with needles. He walked over to Emmett which meant end of possible conversation. _

_"Ugh I feel like I'm going to be sick…Allie don't look!" I heard Jasper say as he got sick in a bucket._

_"I bet it was the McCarthy character…who else could it be?" Charlie said strolling to Alice's bedside._

_"Do you think she knew?" Charlie asked looking at Alice._

_"No I don't think so." I said. Correction - I don't think she knew that two other people laced the punch before she did. I could see green eyes look in the direction of Alice's bed for a second…probably looking for Jasper._

_End of flashback._

_"_You know why didn't we just walk up to each other in the hospital that day and say Hi…I mean I wasn't with Tanya yet so I totally could of gotten rid of that part of my life and you wouldn't of had to endure Emmett and Jacob ( this was before that fateful party). I mean we were practically next to each other the whole time…how long were they in the hospital for…two days?" Edward asked.

"Alice was…Jasper left the next day and Emmett left that night. Something about the amount of Alcohol in her blood, her size and the fact that they had to knock her out and besides Emmett was trashed. Do you think I would talk to you at that time with your drunken best friend who made fun of me next to you. One screw up and you know Emmett would of used that as ammo" I said.

"We could of got lattes!" Edward countered

"Well I didn't think about that…it was more along the lines of "ugh Emmett McCarthy's here…I cant talk to him now" and Charlie being concerned about Alice wouldn't let me away from her." I said. Edward nodded in understanding.

"The odd thing was it looked like Alice drank pure Vodka…not mixed with punch." Edward said.

"So I guess they didn't tell you." I said. Of course Jasper and Emmett wouldn't tell him that.

"tell me what?" Edward asked.

"Jasper and Emmett also added stuff to it…I saw them myself. Jasper was really good at hiding it but Emmett…not so much." I said.I KNEW JASPER WASN'T CARRYING WATER IN THAT FLASK!" Edward gasped.

"And Emmett…he told me that was for the after party!" Edward continued on.

"well apparently he couldn't wait till later!' I said

"well it does all make sense now." Just then the door bell rang. All of us gathered at the door and Alice answered. A guy dressed up as cupid was sitting there. I looked at Edward.

"I swear its not me!" Edward said

"Is one of you Alice Swan?" The cupid man asked.

"I AM!" Alice said. The man handed her a Tiffany's ring box and a huge teddy bear. This had Jasper written all over it. We were all used to his weird antics by now.

"HAPPY ANNA VIRSARY…HAPPY ANNA VIRSARY!" The man sang and danced. Alice danced and wagged her fingers to the beat.

"its so cute that Jazzy remembers these special days

"Alice I thought you met Jasper on the first day of school?" I asked.

"No silly we met at a night club in Seattle a few weeks before hand...oops did I just say that in front of Dad…I meant a school sanctioned night club." Alice said. The sad part was Charlie bought it.

"Where was I?" Edward and I asked at the same time.

"YOU were probably being a nerd at Angela's house…and Jasper said something about you being at a rave/ house party that night." She said the last part to Edward.

"Oh I remember that night!" Edward said.

"Bad night?" I asked.

"You could say…I woke up the next day with a black eye and alone." Edward said.

"Excuse me…this is for her parents." Cupid-man said holding up a box of chocolates and flowers.

"HAZLENUT MY FAVORITE!" Charlie said taking the box of chocolates. It looked like Edward was kicking himself for not having the same idea as Jasper…but thanks to Edward , Charlie now had a Lamborghini sitting in his driveway so Edward really didn't have to give him chocolates.

"And this is for a Bella Swan?" The man said holding an envelope up.

"Selfish prick!" Edward mumbled under his breath. I sneered at him and opened it.

__

Haha I knew you'd get pissed Edward! I had him say that on purpose but this is really for the both of you. Two tickets to see Lady Gaga tonight…I know that's your favorite Edward…are in closed with this letter. This isn't my graduation gift…I just felt that you guys would feel left out if I didn't give you something too.

"OMG YOUR GOING TO SEE MY IDOL…CAN I COME?" Alice asked. Jasper already answered that question with the next line.

No Alice you cant come…let the couple have their alone time. Besides I have something else fun planned. Lets just say your in for a pleasant surprise. Now moving on…I booked a hotel room for you guys under the name Jasper Whitlock… yes I used moms maiden name and your id…yes I knew you forgot it ;)…is in closed in here as well. (Edward looked confused but he didn't say anything)

"HOTEL ROOM?" Charlie's nose appeared between us.

Don't worry Charlie it's a two bedroom suite! Charlie calmed down at reading this.

"Both bedrooms better be huge!" Charlie growled walking away.

__

P.S just kidding guys…it's a single bed. I just said that to keep Charlie's mind at ease. Have fun, be safe and say hi to Gaga for me!

" So like me…always planning ahead…but I really wanted to see Gaga tonight…like he couldn't spare two extra tickets…oh well he said he has a surprise for me…I hate surprises…don't know what to dress for!" Alice said.

"Maybe I can get a clue from the ring?" Alice said peaking under the ring box.

"typical beautiful tiffanies ring…I cant tell where we're going." Alice said bummed out. She should be excited about just getting the ring!

"Off to pack for tonight…come along Bells!" Alice said dragging me up the stairs.

"Lady Gaga concert means your going to get in late…which means I highly doubt you'll be _sleeping_ at this hotel." Alice said throwing lingerie at me.

"Geez thanks Alice!" I said.

"Oh stop…it's the perfect excuse to let loose and have a little fun tonight…you…Edward and no dad for at least a few hundred miles. A girls dream come true!" Alice said. It was then something dawned on me. Jasper probably wanted to free reign to freely spy on Alice. I was going to have to find a way to thank Jasper.

"Ooh and I want pictures…the closest you can of Lady Gaga!" Alice said tossing my camera at me. I had a funny feeling Alice was going to turn one or two of them into posters.

"Alright speak to me closet…what is the perfect apparel for tonight!" Alice said throwing our closet door open.

"No, no, no…maybe for a rock concert which is not where your going and probably not where I am either, definitely not, gonna have to pack that for school, perrrrfect!" Alice said grabbing two hangers. One was a very tight leather body suit that Alice had forced me to buy a couple of months ago and the other was a very dressy hunter green top and black jean skirt.

"Alice…"I said.

"Bella you promised you'd wear this at some point when I bought it…you haven't worn it yet!" Alice growled. She had me there…I did promise. Alice then launched her attack.

"Alright now its time to go down stairs!" Alice said shoving me down the stairs when she was done. Edward was sitting in my living room wearing a suspiciously new matching fitted black t-shirt and jeans. I felt my breath hitch and looked at Alice.

"What so I may of subtly hinted to Edward to wear that when I made a pit stop in the kitchen." Alice said. I had a funny feeling that Alice did the exact opposite of what she said.

"Alright have fun!" Alice smiled tossing my bag at me. Charlie's eye appeared in the doorway to the living room.

"And uh don't do anything Charlie wouldn't do!" Alice said. Charlie's head disappeared.

"totally disregard that sentence!" Alice said when she dubbed it was safe. Edward and I then headed out the door. It took us a few hours but we got there just in time to get good seats. It was really fun listen to the opening band. We got up and danced in the crowd. Edward helped me not create such a huge fool out of myself by helping me sway to the beat. I had to say he was a good dance teacher…Alice would have been jealous. She had been trying to teach me dance moves for years to no avail. As you can tell I'm not a good dancer. We continued to dance as Lady Gaga came on stage. As "bad romance" played I looked into Edwards smoldering eyes.

_"Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh_  
_Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh_

_Caught in a bad romance_

_Ra Ra-ah-ah-ah_  
_Roma Roma-ma_

_GaGa_  
_Oh la-la_  
_Want your bad romance_

_I want your ugly_  
_I want your disease_  
_I want your everything_  
_As long as it's free_  
_I want your love_  
_Love love love_  
_I want your love"_ Played in the background. All I could see was him…all there was was him…nothing else mattered

_"I want you drama_  
_The touch of your hand_  
_I want your leather studded kiss in the sand_  
_I want your love_  
_Love love love_  
_I want your love_

_You know that I want you_  
_And you know that I need you_  
_I want it bad_  
_A bad romance_

_I want your love and_  
_I want your revenge_  
_You and me could write a bad romance_  
_I want your love and_  
_All your lover's revenge_  
_You and me could write a bad romance_

_Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh_  
_Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh" ._the song continued on. He placed his arms around me. The electricity flowed through us keeping me routed to this spot. As I looked up his eyes sparkled at me which made me smile. I couldn't believe my luck…I landed him. As the song continued on I marveled at the perfection next to me. It then struck me how much of a rarity we were…to find your soul mate at such a young age is the stuff of dreams. It was then that we kissed. This kiss was the same as the others before…the best that I had ever had. I felt like I was in someone else's life…this couldn't be me. I was plain boring Bella…destined to live what I had thought was gong to be an average life. I still kept on waiting to wake up…even after all this time. As usual it took a few minutes for sweet reality to hit…this wasn't a dream. This was reality and this was really me. As I inhaled I caught a whiff of his sweet sent which made me go weak at the knees for a second. Edward graciously supported my weight for what seemed like hours. Before we knew it the concert was ending and we were making our way in the crowd towards the exit. Edward held my hand so that we wouldn't get separated and pushed our way through the crowd of bodies. Feeling bad that Alice got left out we decided to get her an autograph so we waited in line. As lady Gaga approached I handed over the poster that I had bought for Alice. It was a picture from tonight. If you squinted the right way you could see Edward and I in the crowd.

"Who's this for?" Lady Gaga asked.

"My sister…can you write "To: Alice Swan?" I asked.

"Your Alice Swan's sister?…I know her!" Lady Gaga said. Edward's eyes were as wide as saucers. Like seriously who didn't my sister know.

"Worked for Violet the fashion designer…she designed my newest outfit!" Lady Gaga said. Alice would design an outfit for Lady Gaga before she went to college.

"So how is Casper I think it was…has he gotten the courage to ask her out yet?" Lady Gaga asked. You know Jasper's got it bad when Lady Gaga's asking if he asked her out yet.

"Its Jasper…and he's doing good. Still following Alice like a puppy dog. Alice is still oblivious." Edward said. She smiled and handed us back the autographed poster and an envelope.

"That's for Jasper and Alice…its two backstage passed to any of my concerts in the country…a thank you for designing my costume…and for keeping me company while Alice designed my costume when Violet was on vacation. We talked for hours about how Jasper felt about Alice…how he wasn't sure how she felt." Lady Gaga said. So Jasper wasn't afraid to talk to Lady Gaga about his feelings for Alice…but he couldn't talk to Alice?

" Thank you so much!" Edward and I said at the same time.

"Oh no problem!" Lady Gaga said heading over to the next person. We then made our way to the car.

"Alice knows Lady Gaga…why am I not surprised!" Edward said as he started the car up.

We then left for the hotel that Jasper had booked. He had given us directions while we were on our way to the concert. Edward had presented the id that Jasper had given him and we were given our room keys. The room looked like a traveling alcoholic's paradise. I could see why this hotel sprung to Jasper's mind immediately…he probably pictured himself bringing Alice here at some point. There was a huge bottle of Champaign with a big red bow on it and a note sitting next to the large mini bar. Expecting that the note and the bottle of Champaign was from Jasper we read it.

_Have fun…get plastered…and don't tell dad …oh yeah and no glove no love! 3 A! _

"Alright so shoot me…next time something happens to Bella and your not around…I'll make sure I'll beat her to the punch and tell you!" Jasper growled

"Alright to change this wonderful subject I think we should head out soon…you know that if we don't come home in a few hours Dad's going to flip." Alice said. She tossed my clothes at me and escorted Jasper out while we changed.

Edward drove me home with Jasper and Alice in the car behind. I rested my head on his shoulder as we sped down the high way. I could see Alice's eyes in the rearview mirror and there was a burning curiosity in them. I could tell that I was going to be in for it the next time we were in a room alone together. When we got in I could see that there was no cars in the driveway…mom and dad must have been at work. The minute I had reached my bedroom I was attacked by Alice.

"Alright…you talked to Gaga…and from the state of the room I'm guessing there wasn't much sleeping last night…you owe me dets big time!" Alice said.

"Well you basically know what we talked about last night…you…then when we went back to the hotel we had some Champaign and found your little gift…then well use your imagination…then you know the rest. How about you…you were out with Jasper…what was his surprise." I said.

"Ooh well it was soo cute…Jasper took us to the nightclub that we first met at. They played the music that they played the night we met and they even served us the same drinks…hell Jazzy was wearing the same outfit he wore that night and we sat at the same table. It looked like an exact replica of that night!" Alice said. geez wonder how much Jasper bribed them to pull that off!

We turned the note around to see a condom taped to it. _just in case_ was written on the bottom. How the hell did she know which room to have it sent to? I went into the bathroom and put on the lingerie that Alice had packed for this evening. I lightly fixed my makeup and walked out to see Edward pouring two glasses of the Champaign. He was so cute! After finishing a glass we started to make out. We only stopped long enough for Edward to detach the condom from Alice's note and then a night of fiery passion ensued.

Early the next morning I awoke in Edwards arms. My favorite smile spread across his flawless face as he pushed a lock of hair back behind my ear. I lightly kissed his cheek and his smile grew wider.

"Good morning love!" Edward greeted me happily.

"Good morning!" I beamed back. Just then there was a knock on the door.

"Are you guys decent?" Alice's voice rang through. Edward and I looked at each other and scrambled to the complementary bathrobes that the hotel provided. As I got my first real good look around I realized…Jasper had us booked in the honeymoon suite. Well that explained why my bathrobe had a ring on it and said in bright pink letters "WIFE". I went to answer the door.

"You should invited me to the wedding you know…like I totally could of made a great maid of honor…I mean witness!" Alice said staring at the bathrobe.

"Alice you know we didn't get married…and if we ever do get married your going to be among the first to know…besides how did you know where we were?" I said the last part coming out like a question.

"Call me psychic…so how was Gaga?" Alice asked.

"Fun…we got you some gifts…she told us something interesting about you…said she knew YOU…something about designing her recent outfit?" Edward said. I handed her the poster and the backstage passes.

"OMG YOUR ON A POSTER! MY WORK IS ON A PROFESSIONAL POSTER!" Alice said staring at the poster as if I was on stage shaking Lady Gaga's hand. She hadn't comprehended what Edward said yet.

"WAIT A MINUTE…YOU TALKED TO HER…HER ROYAL HIGHNESS REMEMBERS ME…SHE LIKED MY DESIGN…I HAVE ARRIVED!" Alice said slumping to the floor.

"Allie? What happened?" Jasper said running into the room from nowhere.

"Told Alice about a little conversation we had with Lady Gaga last night…she said something interesting about you too…I didn't know you met Lady Gaga…you seem to be holding out on a lot lately Jasper…you and I are going to be sitting down soon to talk about what you knew and when you knew it…and your going to tell me everything…and the truth…not the "oh nothing happened!" when I'm stuck off in nomans land and your off partying with Alice!" Edward said.

"Which time?" Jasper gulped

"the drunk tank time." Edward said.

"how the hell do you know about that?" Jasper gulped again.

"I heard about a lot of things Jasper…you'd be shocked at what I know." Edward said. Jasper gulped a third time. He knew he was in deep shit. Hey I'm not the one who told him to keep secrets…personally I told him I didn't give a fuck if he told or not as long as Charlie didn't find out. Having Alice as your sister your business gets spread around the school anyways.

"aren't you glad you have me as a sibling…I don't hide anything!" Alice said. We know that. Alice's motto…well her other motto was " Secrets, secrets are no fun, secrets secrets hurt someone!" which was a coincidence since Emmett's motto was "Secrets, secrets are no fun…until you tell everyone!"

"we know Alice" I said. I was shocked that she didn't say anything to anyone about me secretly liking Edward for the longest time.

"to what do you know about?" Jasper asked.

"Do we have to do this here?" Edward asked looking at me. I whispered in his ear " I don't care…everyone in this room knows about all that stuff anyways." I really didn't care for that exact reason. It was not as if Edward was telling that stuff to someone that didn't know that stuff.

"I think we should…clear the air!" Jasper said.

"alright…a janitors closet Jasper …you told me you met Bella in history class…really! And then the flag pole…you told me that the paramedics were at the school cuz a light blew out…not because Emmett suspended someone in midair and broke the only way she could get down…and finally the rape…you didn't tell me…I had to read it in a diary entry…you only told me about it while we were kicking Jacobs ass. You couldn't do the common courtesy of saying hey man a heads up on the girl that your dating right now! Alice tells me more things then you do…she at least told me about the Yorkey party…how YOU caught Bella looking at me…and how when I pulled you over to ask you what she was looking at YOU said you didn't know." Edward said.

"You told him that?" Jasper asked looking at Alice.

"Well yeah…after they started dating…I figured it wasn't a big deal…we found out that they were stalking each other anyways. It just kind of came up." Alice said.

"well I may of skimmed out a few details…I had to though. I didn't think Bella wanted you to know every embarrassing detail of her life…besides half of that stuff happened when A. you didn't know her and B. you were dating Tanya. If I told you any of that stuff and Tanya found out you know it would of made things worse for Bella." Jasper said.

"Still that doesn't explain why when I started dating Bella you didn't open up…I think I deserved to know that YOU WITNESSED HER GETTING RAPED. At least she opened up about that…but you could of given me a little forewarning Jasper…like if I knew something like that happened to Alice and you started dating her I would tell you. Not 'oh he wont find out…I wont say anything!' you knew how I felt about her then…Jesus what are you "Eye spy" always there but never says anything!" Edward said.

"well I figured if she wanted you know she would tell you…and she obviously did if she's not flipping out right now." Jasper said.

"actually I figured that since you guys were twins you would probably discuss something like that regardless of how he felt about me…I honestly thought he knew more then he did." I said.

"Bella and I talk all the time." Alice said.

"Well that's because you love to talk Alice…you have diarrhea of the mouth…some of us on the other hand like to shut up about certain things ." Jasper said

"I do not!" Alice said.

"Lets revisit Paneara!" I said.

_Flashback._

_Alice and I were sitting in line at Paneara bread waiting to get some lunch. It was the weekend after prom and Alice had dragged me out of the house to go shopping for our graduation attire._

_"So I have some juicy dets…a source…lets call them J …told me that your boy toy's going to be single very soon." Alice said. I looked at her._

_"I know…I wouldn't of believed it myself if I hadn't played a role in the downfall of Tan-hoe. See I walked into the bathroom and I heard her saying " Hola papi… Como Estas mi amor" now I don't know much Spanish but luckily that day I watched an Spanish soap opera with English subtitles…you don't call your best friend "My love" in the tone she was talking in. The rest of it I couldn't understand but it practically sounded like phone sex…I told Edward that he better watch his girl…that she was talking Spanish to some guy on the phone in the bathroom…I didn't tell him about her calling him "My love" but he seemed to get the gist of it. I also heard the name "Ricardo" multiple times…and she was moaning it. We all know Edward isn't named Ricardo. So me being the wonderful sister that I am decided that this information could lead to you two hooking up and who am I to stop love. Don't worry I didn't say anything to him about you. I just let him know that his little princess was looking for a Latino speaking prince. He told me that he'd handle it and then yesterday uh J came happily running up to me offering tickets for the breakup of the century. I'm meeting him at two. I'll gladly record it if you want…ooh this salad tastes awesome!" Alice said._

_"um Alice I don't think you should be involving yourself in people's private life." I said._

_"Private life smivate life …if you don't want to talk about it what's the use in doing it!" Alice said. _

_End of Flashback_

"J?…wonder who that is?…so your all too willing to discuss my life with Alice…you have no problem with that but you couldn't take the time to say "Um Edward there's some things you should know about your girl" to me. Like really Jasper?" Edward said when I finished the story.

Alright so shoot me…next time something happens to Bella and your not around…I'll make sure I'll beat her to the punch and tell you!" Jasper growled

"Alright to change this wonderful subject I think we should head out soon…you know that if we don't come home in a few hours Dad's going to flip." Alice said. She tossed my clothes at me and escorted Jasper out while we changed.

Edward drove me home with Jasper and Alice in the car behind. I rested my head on his shoulder as we sped down the high way. I could see Alice's eyes in the rearview mirror and there was a burning curiosity in them. I could tell that I was going to be in for it the next time we were in a room alone together. When we got in I could see that there was no cars in the driveway…mom and dad must have been at work. The minute I had reached my bedroom I was attacked by Alice.

"Alright…you talked to Gaga…and from the state of the room I'm guessing there wasn't much sleeping last night…you owe me dets big time!" Alice said.

"Well you basically know what we talked about last night…you…then when we went back to the hotel we had some Champaign and found your little gift…then well use your imagination…then you know the rest. How about you…you were out with Jasper…what was his surprise." I said.

"Ooh well it was soo cute…Jasper took us to the nightclub that we first met at. They played the music that they played the night we met and they even served us the same drinks…hell Jazzy was wearing the same outfit he wore that night and we sat at the same table. It looked like an exact replica of that night!" Alice said. geez wonder how much Jasper bribed them to pull that off!


	21. my sisters mural

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. oh and i dont own Lady Gaga either...thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 21

BPV.

A few days later Alice and my mom had decided to go shopping together. They decided since Alice wanted to get a manicure later to take their own cars. Since my father was working I was all alone in the house. When the doorbell rang I thought it was Edward so I went to answer the door. To my shock Jasper was standing in my doorway.

"Oh hey Bella…good Alice is gone…I have an idea for my graduation gift to you…but I need you to come with me!" Jasper said. I stared at him confused. Before I knew it we were speeding off in Jasper's Camaro in the direction of Port Angelus.

"Now Bella I'm doing this with you because I know we are a lot alike so I figured that this would be the perfect thing and I know I've wanted this for the longest time…" Jasper said as we pulled into the parking lot of a tattoo parlor that was next to a nail salon. Normally I would of flinched but if I could get something that symbolized how I felt about Edward who was I to say no to that? Jasper sprang inside. I went to the wall and looked through for what I wanted. I settled on a heart design that had Edward's initials embedded so that you could only see them if you looked for them. It looked good for the bottom part of the neck.

"Yes hi…we're here for the two appointments I booked last week…can you blow this up to cover my entire back…and add pixie wings?" Jasper said handing them over Alice's senior year photograph. Oh my god he was not getting a monument to my sister on his back. This just made his obsession with my sister ten times worse. The guy looked at him weirdly and brought him to the back. I pointed out what I wanted and told them that I wanted it in dark blue with the area of his initials in emerald green. I thought I was going to pass out from the blood but surprisingly I hardly bled at all…that and the fact that they covered it up in lightning speed when they were finished. I could hear the sounds of the needles as they were doing Jasper up. As I was waiting for Jasper…which considering his entire back was getting done up I gathered would be it would be a while…my phone went off. When I saw Edward's cell number I picked up.

"Hey!" I greeted.

"Hey Love…I was just calling to see what you were up to…what's that noise?" Edward asked as the sound of the needle going into Jasper's back got louder.

"Oh nothing…I'm getting a manicure!" I lied. I'd rather him find out that I got a tattoo in person then over the phone. Besides Jasper was nice enough to take me here…he should have the benefit of telling his brother what he did himself.

"You don't get manicures!" Edward said slightly shocked.

"Yeah well my nails were in desperate need…and Alice left so I figured what the hell." I said. I could hear the tattoo artists talking to Jasper about the picture…how the girl looked oddly familiar.

"why is Jasper there with you?" Edward asked.

"He wanted to see what his precious Allie likes so much about getting a manicure. Alice must talk about him a lot…the nail technicians asked if he was Alice's Jasper when I asked him what color he thought I should go with." I said.

"Okay?" Edward said weirdly.

"Well I have to go…have fun!" Edward said hanging up the phone. I sighed…I really hated lying to him like that. I then picked up a tattoo magazine and started to read. About an hour later I was staring out the window when a bulbous red truck pulled into the parking lot. Green eyes were staring at the Camaro sitting in front of the tattoo parlor. The eyes then caught sight of me. Damn that girl doesn't miss a fart!

"Bella what did you get done?" Alice asked charging into the place. I started to make plans on how to block Alice from the back just in case.

"Oh hey Alice…what do you think?" I asked showing her what I got done.

"Me likes…Smart Bella…it goes with everything you have and your hair is long enough to shield it from mom and especially Dad's eyes. Your wild side is starting to come out…welcome to the dark side!" Alice said beaming.

"So where's Jasper?…his car's here!" Alice asked.

"Oh um he went for a walk?" I said. It was then that one of the artists came to the front counter to bring the people next to us back. He automatically recognized Alice.

"Hey its Gucci girl!" he said. I turned and looked at her.

"What?…I don't have Gucci tattooed on my ass." Alice said looking down and to the left. My mouth hung open…she told me she busted her tail bone! I heard Jasper gasp from the back.

"What was that?" Alice asked looking in the direction of Jasper as the artists said "Hold still Mr. Cullen!"…luckily from her view she could only see the tips of his toes sticking out. I immediately blocked her view. Jasper is so going to owe me for this.

"Did they just say Mr. Cullen?" Alice asked confused.

"No they said Mr. Mullen…I know…it sounds similar right!" I said.

"Well I'm off to look for Jasper…he shouldn't have to walk all the way back here!" Alice said. SHIT. I didn't see her saying that.

"Oh no don't do that…he said that he wanted to be alone…something about wanting some thinking time." I said.

"Oh okay…well then I think I'll just go get my manicure and head home…hey maybe if I get another one I'll bring you along." Alice said heading out the door. I sent periodic texts to Edward all day long…I really wished that he was here. I then started to wonder how we were going to get home. Jasper was going to be unable to drive and since his back was basically an open wound I didn't know if I could stay conscious enough to start the car…never mind drive home…a tattoo that big they surely couldn't cover. An idea dawned on me…surely it was going to cost a hell of a lot of money but it was the only way that we could get back with out me passing out behind the wheel. I called a taxi. It was starting to get dark out when they were done. I shoved Jasper in the back of the taxi and took the Camaro. I could see why Jasper liked driving it…it seemed very masculine. His steering wheel cover was a confederate flag. The radio was on the country station. I was mind numbingly listening to a song that was basically about Jasper…being best friends with your crush. All I could picture was Alice's face as it talked about how when her hair bounced you smiled. When we pulled into the driveway of the Cullen house hold I got out and cringed as the taxi driver told me the total. Opening my wallet I was shocked to find $500 sitting there with a note from Alice.

_I knew you were going to need this…your so lucky that I have your back…3 A!. p.s…I took the liberty of telling mom and dad that your staying at Angela's for the week and Edward's parents are gone for the week…I sent them on their second honeymoon to Alcopoco…a.k.a I granted your wish of living with Edward for a week. You'll find that when you're the daughter of Charlie Swan you can be very persuasive…people will do just about anything to avoid getting a parking ticket!_

The note read. I kept the note out just incase in her little rampage Alice forgot to tell Edward of her plan. I dragged Jasper into the house after paying the man off. Since I was the only one who knew what Jasper did I had to help him put medicine on his back. I had to say they did a good job with the Alice mural. Walking into the kitchen I found Edward preparing dinner.

"Oh hey Bella…I didn't hear you come in…are you staying for dinner?" Edward asked.

"um Alice didn't tell you?" I asked handing the note over. I knew I was going to need it. I saw a slight twitch emanate as he read the letter.

"Geez Alice needs a life…guess that means your staying for more then dinner!" Edward smiled on the last part. Just then we heard banging sounds from Edward's bedroom.

Heading up there we found a duffle bag of mine on Edwards bed with a note attached. A few strands of blonde hair were stuck to the open window. We heard "THANK ME LATER!" Followed by a groan from Jasper's room. Considering my neck was starting to burn he was probably feeling it. Most of the day clothes looked normal…well normal for Alice anyways. There was one pair that looked like club clothes…probably for the party that they were going to host at the end of the week. They were throwing a goodbye banger here and from what it looked like it was going to be on the day that I was supposed to go home. The nightwear however was a different story. The lingerie…if you could call it that…was the size of a dishcloth…not to mention she somehow managed to slip a box of condoms in there with out Charlie seeing…which I know was the case because he would of called freaking out if he saw. She also slipped in various sex toys…obviously she was allowed to pack my stuff by herself.

__

" you owe me big time…I basically had to barricade the door down to stop mom and dad from packing your stuff themselves. Remember have fun but if you don't wrap it don't tap it…3 A!"

Alice was a perv…who writes that down. It was then that Edward and I went downstairs. I decided to just come out and say it…he was going to notice it anyways…especially in the in the style of lingerie that Alice packed. I figured it was better to get it out now then him find out later.

"Um Edward…I have a confession to make." I said. Edward turned and looked at me

"I wasn't exactly getting a manicure…please don't freak out!" I said holding my hair up and turning around.

"Wow Bella its perfect!" he said tracing it with his finger.

"wait till you see what _your brother _did." I said.

"Jasper got a tattoo?" Edward gasped shocked

"You could say it's a tattoo…more like a mural." I said. It was then that a shirtless Jasper dragged himself in into the kitchen. Heading over to the stove we had a full view of the Alice mural. Green eyes…the only color other then red lips and the black of the shading, outline and hair color bored at us. Edward's mouth hung open in shock.

"Damn you weren't kidding." Edward gasped.

"oh hey Edward you wont believe what I did today!" Jasper said turning around and realizing that we were there.

"Oh I saw…how the hell did you pay for it?" Edward asked still shocked.

"you know the money we got for graduation…the money we said we'd set away from books. I may of dabbed into some of it." Jasper said.

"Exactly how much did you dab into?" Edward asked.

"well we still have enough left for books…we didn't need that extra $1500 anyways!" Jasper said.

"$1500?" Edward asked.

"yeah well Bella's was $200 and mine was $1300." Jasper said.

"Oh my god…Jesus Christ Jasper you couldn't get something like the size of Bella's?" Edward gasped.

"I wanted people to see her beautiful face…you couldn't see it at that size!" Jasper said.

"You could of at least reduced that by half!" Edward said.

"it would of never captured Alice in all her glory…her stunningly beautiful glory. It was all or nothing!" Jasper said. Jasper had it bad.

" did you stop and think how you were going to explain it to _her_?" Edward asked.

"well she'll probably think it's a symbol of how deep their friendship goes." I groaned.

"Perfect excuse!" Jasper said. He obviously didn't think it all the way through. The both of us rolled our eyes. Jasper then took his plate and walked out of the room.

"I'm sorry…I didn't think." I said.

"No you spoke the truth…she probably would think that. My brother shouldn't of subjected you to his insanity today and he knows that." Edward said.

" I have Alice as a sister…Alice who tattooed Gucci on her ass…trust me you don't know insanity until you find that out." I said.

"Alice what?" Edward asked.

"well to make a long story short Alice stopped by the tattoo parlor…she didn't have a clue Jasper was there so no worries for him there…so anyways it came out because the tattoo artist recognized her." I sighed.

"why would she get Gucci on her ass?" Edward asked.

"Its Alice…why does she do anything she does?" I asked.

"So true!" Edward said cocking his head to the side

"so I saw your dad today. Had a lengthy conversation with him. I may of asked him if we could go to California sometime next week…well the week after this one…if that's okay with you?" Edward asked. I had a feeling that this had "no" written all over it.

"sure…but what did my father say." I said happily. Another week with Edward and no Charlie…I smiled.

"He said as long as Alice went along and stayed in our room he was fine with it." Edward said. Charlie was so naive. Alice would rent the second room out herself just so that we could do it.

"So who's coming?" I asked.

"Just you, me, Jasper and Alice…Jasper's excited about sharing a room with Alice…we've come up with the best lie for Emmett…he thinks we're going to camp…little does he know that the camp we said we're going to only accepts 7-13 year old girls who are a lot like Alice. Something about trying to find the next Versace or something." Edward said. I remembered that camp…Alice went there…got most likely to be top fashion designer of her age.

"Don't you guys think you should of come up with a better lie…I mean I know he's dumb but what if he does look into it?" I asked.

"He wont!" Edward said.

"Please excuse the mess…no one told me that you were coming…I would of cleaned." Edward said gesturing to the immaculate kitchen . The only thing that gave away dirtiness was the dishes in the sink. The counter tops actually gleamed in the light. If this was his idea of dirtiness the my house must have been a pigpen.

" This is messy?" I gasped. I could see my reflection in the counter top.

"well compared to what it usually looks like." Edward blushed a little. If this was messy I would love to see this place when it was clean. I smiled.

"Oh its okay…you should see my house some times." I laughed. Edward lightly chuckled and pecked my cheek. Our lips met and Edward scooped me up. He carried me up into his room as if I were as light as a feather. He grabbed some protection and gently placed me on the bed. Passion consumed us both.

I awoke the next morning to see green eyes glinting into my own. I ran my hand through his bronze tufts. He brushed his thumb against my cheekbone…electrical charges followed the path of his thumb. My favorite smile erupted across Edwards face.

"Good morning love!" Edward whispered in my ear. It sent shivers down my spine.

"Good morning!" I smiled. I kissed him on the lips.

About a half hour later we went downstairs for breakfast. Jasper was already sitting there with a bowl of mini wheat's and a glass of milk. I beat Edward to the skillet and made us both omelets. I passed his plate to him and sat down. Edward smiled and kissed my hand.

"Okay before you guys go any further I do want to keep my breakfast down you know!" Jasper laughed looking at the both of us.

"Alright Edward did you ask her last night?" Jasper asked. I looked at him.

"About California?" I asked.

"No…well that too." Jasper said. Edward cut him off before he could finish with that sentence.

"Well we were wondering…since Jasper really wants to dorm with Alice and I don't want you in the same room with her when she has free reign without your parents …do you want to…?" Edward started to ask. I finished that sentence.

"Dorm with you…I thought you'd never ask!" I said smiling. This was getting better and better.

"Hey…I said that I wouldn't mind dorming with Alice_ if _Bella didn't want to…not that "I really wanted to"…there's a difference." Jasper said. Edward and I looked at each other and shook our heads. I didn't believe that for a second.

"Alright well how are we going to do this?" Edward asked.

"Not a problem…if my connects can get me into NYU then they can get me a dorm with Alice!" Jasper said taking off. A few minutes later we could hear arguing on the phone.

"Oh common J. …man how hard is it to switch dorms…don't give me that bullshit you got me in didn't you…I'll give you 10 g's …fifteen…deal!" Jasper said hanging up the phone.

"Say hello to your new roommate!" Jasper winked and gestured in between me and Edward.

"Oh and Alice will be over in a little bit…I'm telling her that I got a tattoo of my best friend!" Jasper said as he left the room. I was praying that he didn't tell her about California when we were in the vicinity if she didn't already know. But that's not what happened. A few minutes later Alice came knocking on the door. Jasper brought her into the bathroom to show her the tattoo and then brought her into the living room where Edward and I were watching some romantic comedy. Jasper then sprung the news.

"Oh Alice…um we're heading to California and we were wondering if you would like to go…Bella already said yes." Jasper said.

"California…GUCCI L.A …SHOPPING IN THE SAME STORE WHERE PARIS HILTON GOT HER PURSE…MALIBU…BEL AIR…BEVERLY HILLS 90210...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Alice screamed hyperventilating. Edward actually covered his ears and held me close to his chest to buff the sound.

"Omg…Milan…NYC…L.A …best year ever! Maybe we can sneak on a movie set and become extras in a movie!" Alice continued to squeal. Edward, Jasper and I rolled our eyes.

"You think this is bad…you should of seen Milan…she actually laid out battle plans…I'm surprised that I can still hear!" I said Jasper actually brought out a paper bag.

"Alice breath…you don't need to pass out again!" Jasper said shoving the bag over Alice's mouth. What she said after became incomprehensible afterwards. Slowly bust surely she calmed down.

"omg so much to do so little time…gotta shop…gotta pack…gotta google Gucci L.A…gotta scout out the local hotspots…all in the span of one week…so little time…I can already see what I'm gonna wear…gotta plan out so many outfits…four people…this calls for a heavy duty shopping spree…shopping…shopping…shopping!" Alice chirped running out of the house.

" Jasper you better go get her before she has to declare bankrupts." I said.

"Why me?" Jasper asked.

"because someone has rein her in… and you're the only one who enjoys Alice's madness…it's gotta be you." I said.

"Ugh alright!" Jasper said. Two minutes later we could hear the sounds of the Camaro pealing out of the driveway.

"Poor man…she's nuts." I sighed.

"your sister is a bonified psychopath!" Edward joked. I snickered.

"that's Alice for ya!" I joked back.

"So back to the movie?" Edward asked hitting play. I rested my head on his shoulder and we stayed that way for the remainder of the two hours. After that we had a quiet candle lit lunch in his kitchen.

"So what do you plan to do with your week of almost no Alice?" Edward asked lightly.

"Oh you know a little of this…a little of that…spending it with someone I love!" I responded smiling.

"I hope its no one I know…id have to bust a few heads." Edward joked.

" Oh I'd say you know them pretty well actually!" I laughed pecking his cheek. Edward smiled.

"describe them for me…I might know them then." Edward laughed.

"oh you know 6 ft tall…extremely handsome…a smile that could knock your socks off… awesome personality…extremely talented pianist…you know." I said.

"Oh I know _him_!" Edward laughed.

"I would hope so!" I said.

"well then it looks like we're both gonna spend it with someone we love!" Edward snickered and pulled me close to him. Our lips were just about to meet when we were interrupted.

"Knock knock…Emmett's in the house!" Emmett said walking into the kitchen.

"How the hell did you get in here…I locked the door and our spare key's _inside _the house." Edward said.

"Oh Edward you know a locked door doesn't stop me!" Emmett said. We looked out to see the door swinging open…the lock was hanging out of the door and swinging as if it were threatening to fall off.

"Emmett you broke my door?" Edward gasped.

"Oh don't worry…you don't need a door anyways!" Emmett said. Emmett was retarded.

"Ugh…great now Jasper and I are going to have to buy a replica door to hide the damage!" Edward groaned.


	22. The goodbye party

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. oh and i dont own Lady Gaga either...thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 22

BPV

The next week flew by painfully fast. Before we knew it the night of the party had arrived. I had to remind myself that it was going to only be one day that I was going to be sleeping at home before we took off into the California sunset. Emmett arrived about a half hour before the party was set to get started. He had in his hand two large bottles of greygoose and patron.

"Blame it on the goose…got ya feeling loose….blame it on the tron…got ya in the zone!" Emmett sang placing the two bottles on the counter.

"But who's got the rest of the a-a-a-a-a-a-lcohol baby?" Emmett sang the last part.

"We thought you were bringing it all…weren't you the one who said you could bring enough alcohol to supply the entire town for two years?" Edward gasped.

"Well when dad went to jail things changed…a lot of connects fell through." Emmett said.

"what do we do…the whole school's coming!" Jasper gasped.

"Don't worry…I have someone that owes me a favor!" Alice said as she walked out of the room. Fifteen minutes later we heard the sound of trucks backing up into the driveway. We ran to see three eighteen wheelers sitting there filled with kegs.

"I-I think I died and went to heaven!" Emmett stammered out.

"Do you have an extra place to store the beer because I highly doubt we're going to use that much beer?" I asked. Jasper grinned from ear to ear.

"Oh do we!" Jasper exclaimed opening a door to what I thought was a closet. In fact it was a room that was twice the size of my bedroom and there was nothing in it.

"This is our spare room…mom and dad never use it…perfect spot to hide anything in!" Jasper said. I raised an eyebrow.

"Anything?" I asked.

"Well see Emmett got in to some trouble in Seattle some time back and we hid him here. He did eventually turn himself in and he didn't mention us so we never got in trouble for it…god knows that if we could hide Emmett…he doesn't shut up and his muscles are fucking huge…then we can hide that many kegs." Edward said.

"hey!" Emmett said.

"you know we love ya buddy!" Edward said trying to keep the peace. Jasper coughed "Yeah right!". Thankfully Emmett didn't hear it…he was back singing again.

"Thank god Lady Gaga owed me a favor…I love being me!" Alice said smiling.

"Now put the patron down Emmett…you do not drink until the guests get here!" Alice said running over to Emmett who was in mid swig. She took the bottle out of his hand…took a swig herself and put the bottle down. This is going to be a long night.

"HEY HYPOCRITE !" Emmett growled.

"THIS IS MY PARTY I CAN DO WHAT I WANT! YOU JUST BROUGHT THESE TWO BOTTLES OF LIQUOR…I BROUGHT THREE TRUCK LOADS SO TAKE THAT EMMETT MCCARTHY!" Alice snarled.

"Come along Bells…gotta do your makeup!" Alice turned and grabbed me by the shirt collar. She dragged me into one of the bathrooms.

"I've let you gone plain face for a week! I didn't say anything! So you are not going plain faced tonight…this is going to be the party of the century!" Alice carried on.

"Alice your being a little over dramatic!" I said.

"Bella your forgetting who your boyfriend is!" Alice said pointing out one of the windows to the car loads of people pulling up the driveway. Suddenly I got nervous…I hadn't seen many of these people for a long time and I didn't know how they were going to treat me now that I was with Edward.

"I totally cant wait to see some of these girl's faces when they realize that you and Edward are together…got my camera ready!" Alice said taking out a new pink digital camera.

"Hello face book!" Alice laughed evilly.

"so are you excited about this…your first party being with Edward…numb chucks are in Jasper's room and I have my handy dandy nail file in my purse if you need to gouge any girls eyes out." Alice said as she whipped out eyeliner.

"I can taste the margaritas already…yum yum!" Alice said. It was then that we walked back out. There was already half the school sitting in the house partying it up. A bar was actually set up in the living room and music was blasting. Edward was at my side the minute I stepped out. Alice took off towards the bar faster then the speed of sound. I could see a couple pairs of shocked eyes looking at us…obviously no one bothered to check Edward's relationship status on face book…either that or they thought it was a joke.

"Your not going to drink tonight?" I asked when I noticed his hands were free of any cups and such.

"No not tonight…not when Alice and Jasper have access to this much alcohol ." Edward said pointing to the kegs that were out and the bar. Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we stayed like this while people came up to talk to us. That familiar electricity routed us together. More and more people arrived…I swore that the school population was smaller then this! Emmett then drunkenly stumbled over to us.

"Edward we need more beer…all the kegs in here are dry!" Emmett slurred. Edward rolled his eyes.

"Emmett you know where everything is!" Edward said.

"Cant do it…too…" Emmett slurred some more.

"too drunk?" Edward said.

"Yeah that too." Emmett said

"Jasper?" Edward pleaded trying to stay with me.

"Playing bartender…and really lit himself…he and Alice are doing jello shots right now." Emmett said.

"Alright …I'll be back in a little bit Bella." Edward groaned taking off to the closet. I was now in the middle of the crowd by myself. It was then that Tanya spotted me and stomped right on over . I groaned when I saw her eyes boring me.

"well well what do we have here?…Bella Swan? Alone? Obviously your hubby doesn't care about you if he left you here by yourself. Why would anyone…you're an insignificant weirdo…look it even your sister wont defend you!" Tanya sneered.

"Tanya would you just shut up…its over…its not like we're competing for who's got the best hair…Edward is a person…not some trophy you can proudly display on your wall." I growled.

"why don't you just give in ugly duckling and run back to your hidey hole and behind daddy's police shield…leave Edward to the real women!" Tanya said. I looked over her shoulder to see Alice glaring. Her eyes shifted to the red sangria filled punchbowl and to Jasper. She whispered something in Jasper's ear and he filled a glass up and walked over. As he walked right next to her the hand holding the sangria "accidentally" jerked. Right as it hit her white blouse…if you could call a silk belly shirt a blouse…Edward was at my side.

"Oops did I just spill that on you…see I've developed a twitch from trying to open my locker…you remember that…and now my hand periodically twitches…let me get that out for you!" Jasper said whipping out a handkerchief and rubbing the stain in…making it even worse.

"Tanya…how many times do I have to tell you…stay the fuck away from me and my girlfriend! Like seriously back the fuck off…I'm not coming back to you… so you can just go running back to Ricardo and suck his face off since he's the only one that will want you because he cant understand what your saying!" it was then that I saw a bunch of people move out of the way behind Tanya.

"Not gonna defend my sister…why wouldn't I? how dare you show your face here after what you did in Italy …and real woman…please…we all know that you cant jump from a C cup to like a double F in a few weeks!" Alice snarled and slurred.

"what are you talking about Alice?" Tanya played dumb.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about!" Alice said drunkenly. Alice then turned and jumped on the Cullen's dining room table.

"I thought Tanya was going back to Florida?" I whispered to Edward.

"I guess she came back." Edward whispered back

"Can I have everyone's attention for a moment please…I just want to tell you about Some things Tanya Denali pulled a couple of weeks back. See in the attempt to get back with Edward she flew out to Italy and broke into his house. She also stalked us out to the streets of Milan. Seriously though how desperate is that?" Alice said to the crowd.

"DES-PRATE…DES-PRATE!" the crowd chanted…Emmett being the main one

"When Edward wouldn't take her sorry ass back she schemed with Queen Kate to kidnap my sister. Needless to say both their asses got kicked. " Alice continued. "DES-PRATE" morphed into "PATH-ETIC"

"Alright ladies…when your wondering what not to do to get a man back…picture Tanya Denali's face!" Alice said. All the girls in the room clapped. Tanya turned beet red and flew at Alice in a rage. Jasper jumped in front and threw her into a half nelson and then threw her out…literarily. Alice threw a jello shot at her back. There was hair all over the floor where Jasper tackled her…he must of ripped out her hair extension's while he was at it

"Now that the trash is out…LETS PARTY!" Emmett bellowed from the crowd.

"YEAH!" the crowd screamed. The music cranked up. Edward pulled me close.

"I'm so sorry you had to deal with that…I shouldn't of left you…I just didn't know that she was going to show up. I'll never do that again…you shouldn't of had to deal with her!" Edward said.

"Its not your fault Tanya showed up uninvited…what ever she does is her fault not yours." I said. Edward smiled and our lips met. We heard a bunch of groans and "Why's!" and there was a flash like someone had taken a picture. We turned around to see twenty or thirty Edward Cullen Fan Club members all wearing dark blue shirts that read "Mrs. Cullen" in medium silver letters. Alice snickered as she walked away with the camera still in her hand. I couldn't help but let a giggle escape…they all looked really ridiculous.

"Well at least its not Tanya…I couldn't stand that bitch!" one of them groaned.

"yeah thank god…totally agree there!" another girl said as the group walked off.

"Now where were we?" Edward asked as we went back to kissing. For the next few hours Alice disappeared. Finally we found her sitting at the front tire of the truck with the bottle of grey goose in her hand. She looked up and hiccupped. Her eyes had this glaze that said she was close to passing out.

"Common Bellz…its time to gooo home!" Alice slurred very heavily. She managed to drag herself up and laid across the driver's seat. She couldn't even sit up by herself that's how trashed she was.

"Alice remember that conversation we had about you and drinking and driving and endangering Bella's life as well as the good people of Forks." Edward said in a warning tone.

"I'm not that lit!" Alice said trying to pick herself up…half her body flopped into the passenger side seat.

"Alice you can barely hold your head up…never mind drive a car or in your case a truck…give me the keys!" Edward demanded.

"Jazzy can drive!" Alice said.

"Jasper's passed out with an empty bottle of southern comfort in your truck bed…if you get in trouble with him back there again its gonna look suspicious!" Edward said.

"You know I can drive!" I whispered in his ear.

"Yeah but your luck Alice in her drunken stupor would try to take control of the car and crash it… 'I can drive Bella I swear!' BOOM!" Edward said the last part in a mock Alice voice

" oh shut up Edwardd…your just like Bella…over reacting!" Alice slurred some more.

"Over reacting…Alice your three sheets to the wind…I can smell you from here…my guess is that your about to pass out in two minutes…and then we're gonna have to explain what happened to the chief of police…A.K.A YOUR FATHER! don't think he's gonna raid the party after he sees YOU!" Edward snarled.

"HEY WHERES JASPER…WE NEED SOME MORE MAGARITAS!" a drunken Emmett shouted from the house.

"Oh and lets not forget you still have comatose Jasper in your truck bed…which if you were not trashed you would of noticed by now…I don't know what we're going to do about him…Emmetts too trashed to babysit and I'll have to take you home." Edward said.

"Oh just leave him there!" Alice said passing out. Edward grabbed the keys out of Alice's hand and we went to the truck bed. We grabbed a foaming and purple Jasper from it and carried him into the house. As we were dragging him up the stairs we saw Emmett crowd surfing. His drunken gaze met us.

"Jaspers TRASHED!" Emmett called from the pile of people.

"Emmett shut up!" Edward growled. We then went into Jasper's room A.K.A spy central. Anything anyone would need to commit espionage Jasper had…with pictures of Alice and another Alice map. We taped a barf bag with a picture of Alice on it to his mouth and put him in the bed. When we went back to the truck Alice was gone. I started to panic…what if she walked off into the woods or something…Alice wasn't in a good state of mind right now. Edward and I turned towards each other and we heard an engine rev. Jasper's Camaro crashed through the garage door…pieces of door flying everywhere. Alice was smiling behind the wheel.

"Thank god Jasper gave me his keys!" Alice slurred and laughed as the Camaro pealed down the driveway and on to the street going the wrong way. The look of blatant shock on Edwards face told me that this was a first for my lovely drunken sister.

"I guess we're taking the Vanquish?" I asked.

"How did you know…" Edward started to ask. I cut him off.

"Alice Swan is my sister." I said. He immediately understood what I meant.

"Alright…I think we should go now…if something happens to Jasper's precious Alice or his precious Camaro we'll never hear the end of it!" Edward said as we walked through what used to be his garage door. We got into the Vanquish and he hit the garage door opener which opened the other door. Pretty soon we were catching up to Alice. We drove level with the gas tank as Alice sped through Forks in the wrong lane. Not wanting people to die I made a hard decision.

"We're gonna have to call my father." I said taking out my phone. Edward nodded. Charlie picked up on the first ring.

"Oh hey where are you Bells?" Charlie asked.

"Um dad we have a bit of a situation." I cringed.

"What is it Bells…was there another accident…you know I'll kill who ever hurt you!" Charlie said.

"Uh no…its Alice…she got into some Alcohol and she's currently outside the diner driving the wrong way….Edward and I followed her." I said.

"oh not again…I'm on my way!" Charlie said hanging up the phone. Next thing we knew there was the flashing lights of Charlie's police cruiser and three squad cars behind Alice. Charlie turned the speaker phones on.

"ALICE SWAN PULL OVER THIS INSTANT YOUNG LADY!" Charlie roared into the speakers. Alice's head stuck out the window.

"NOT GONNA CATCH ME COPPERS…IM A FREE WOMAN…HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHA!" she shouted as the Camaro sped forward.

"Do you have a scanner or something in this thing?" I asked.

"Battery operated one in the back…always carried one in case Jasper got himself into a situation like this!" Edward said as I reached into the back. I grabbed the little black box and found it automatically set to the police setting.

"This is chief Swan…I'm behind a DUI suspect…I think we're going to need a road block…Female age 18 driving a Camaro with the license plate " MAJ JAZ 1" registered to one Jasper Cullen. Suspected stolen vehicle." Charlie said unwillingly. Charlie's cruiser and the squad cars went around Alice who was laughing like a drunken maniac. She didn't see the road block ahead.

"ALICE SWAN YOU STOP THAT CAR OR YOUR NOT GOING TO CALIFORNIA!" Charlie roared over a bull horn with like twenty cops sitting next to him. Alice didn't stop and slammed into a cruiser so fast she took the front end off the Camaro.

"hold this over her head next time she tries to say she doesn't drink that much?" Edward asked.

"Definitely." I said. I snapped a picture of Charlie throwing her in the cruiser for evidence. Charlie then walked over to us.

"Bells your sister is in so much trouble right now…you, me and Edward are going to talk when we get home." Charlie growled. I gulped. He was _pissed._

When we pulled into the driveway Charlie was lugging in a half conscious Alice up the stairs. He told everyone that he would deal with her privately and that there was no need to charge her. Jasper's car was now in a junk yard though…Jasper's not going to be thrilled when he hears that one. After Charlie dragged Alice up the stairs we sat in the living room and explained everything.

"Alright Alice knowingly got that stupid…she's grounded big time from this moment on!" Charlie spat.

"Dad please don't…can we put it off until after California…Jasper's been looking forward to this…you don't want to punish him now do you…he's already lost his car…Alice not going to California wouldn't be fair!" I said. I played the Jasper card. I knew he couldn't say no to that.

"Oh alright…since he did help my Bells out…but rest assured the minute she steps foot in here after she gets back the punishment begins…I'm sick of her coming home like that…I've caught her sometimes…I know!" Charlie said giving in.

"So son want to file a police report on that door that she damaged…your gonna need insurance money!" Charlie said.

"No we can cover the damage easily…I'll just tell my parents that Jasper accidentally backed up through it and then wrapped his car around a tree." Edward said. We heard Alice throwing up upstairs. ugh gonna need the bread and water tonight!

"well I have to go…I wish I could stay but if I don't leave Jasper's probably going to die soon. He had a little too much to drink as well." Edward said heading out the front door.

"Nice boy…staying with you, offering to drive Allie home before she pulled that stunt, following her to make sure she was okay…you really picked a winner!" Charlie smiled as he went upstairs. I grabbed a gallon of water, a loaf of bread and a bucket. When I went into my room Alice was passed out again. This was going to be a long night.

"You did this to your self Alice!" I said when I went to work. Alice said something that I couldn't understand.

"you know your lucky to have survived the crash…they said you were too drunk to get hurt…you really need to chill with the drinking you could of killed someone or yourself." I said. My only response was Alice making crashing noises. The thing was I knew she wasn't going to remember this in the morning so her lesson was probably not learned.

"oth ith wasnth that bad…you and edwardth over react…it was only a little dent!" Alice slurred.

"Alice only a little dent?…the whole front end was off the god damn car…Jasper's car's in two!…your lucky no one else was in the car…or in the cruiser that you hit! Then you would have been really fucked. Jasper almost died tonight again…and your not doing so hot yourself…your almost comatose and you tried to drive Jasper's car…what the fuck were you thinking?" I said.

"G-night!" was all Alice responded and she passed out again. Obviously I wasn't going to get anywhere tonight. I started to mentally check off a list of things that were needed for the "Swan Family Hangover Cure" something I had to administer to Alice whenever she developed Alcohol poisoning. I got a wet cloth and placed it over Alice's face, shoved some bread down her throat, gave her water and then picked up a book to read while I waited for Alice's next bout of puking. This routine went on until 5 am when I was sure that Alice wouldn't die in her sleep. I then finally went to sleep as the sun rose. I got up around eleven to find Alice still out. I whipped up a batch of the "Cure" which ironically looked like a bloody mary…probably some sick revenge that Charlie's ancestors came up with to torment the person with the hangover cuz from what I understood it tasted like pickles, tomatoes, cinnamon and pepper. Right as I was cleaning up the doorbell rang. Edward was standing there with dark circles under his eyes. He looked as tired as I felt. I didn't need to ask how his night went.

"How's Jasper?" I asked.

"Alive…lives to see another day of booze…I gave him some charcoal…seemed to get a lot better after that…still unconscious but at least he's not purple…I expect him to be out for at least the next half hour…and Alice?" Edward stated.

"go see for yourself…I have to give her this anyways!" I said pointing to the glass. Edward followed me up the stairs. He eyed the bread and water out.

"What I had to use what was at my disposal…not all of us are children of doctors who bring home liquid charcoal ." I said. Edward smiled.

"So how long did the party last after we left?" I asked.

"Not long actually when I got back everyone was gone…Emmett was the only one there…said that people were afraid that the cops would show when they saw lights fly by the house…people left in droves. Its gonna take a long time to clean up." Edward said. I laid the glass down, threw all the dirty rags in the hamper and let Alice's hair back down. After that Edward and I left to go clean his house. The house was practically destroyed…every orifice was covered in food, drink and filth. So I was surprised that we got done only after an hour of cleaning. Right as Edward and I were going to sit on the couch Jasper woke up from his drunken catatonic state. We heard a loud groan followed by several loud thuds that told us Jasper was dragging himself downstairs.

"Ugh what happened last night…I haven't felt this hung-over since Allie wrecked her truck." Jasper said.

"Well what do you remember?" I asked.

"Fighting Tanya…then nothing." Jasper said.

"last night was pretty similar to that night Jasper." Edward said.

"What do you mean?" Jasper asked.

"Well Alice had another run in with the cops…another high speed chase." Edward said.

"aww did she wreck her truck again…when is she going to learn?" Jasper said sympathetically.

"It wasn't her truck this time!" Edward said.

"Really the who's car was it?" Jasper asked. Edward held up a cell phone picture that he got of Jasper's destroyed car.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY CAR…MY BABY…IT CANT BE…YOUR LYING!" Jasper snarled taking off to the garage. We then heard the sounds of a wounded animal crying. We walked in to see Jasper on his knees sobbing his eyes out in front of the huge Camaro shaped hole that used to be a garage door. He was really torn between his love for Alice and his love for his car

"Is Allie okay at least?" Jasper asked as a tear dripped off his nose.

"Lucky to be alive…she was so lit that we don't know if she has any minor injuries like bruises and scrapes but she seemed to escape the major stuff. We tried to stop her…she was going to drive her truck and Edward confiscated her keys…Charlie and my mom picked it up this morning…but you were passed out in the truck bed again. We had to bring you upstairs but she somehow got your keys…said in her drunken stupor while she was driving away that you gave her yours. We knew something bad was going to happen so we followed her, called the police and one thing led to another and next thing we knew your car was a tin can and Alice was being thrown into Charlie's squad car. I'm shocked he didn't sign Alice up for AA after last night…trust me you didn't want to be there!" I said. Jasper was sitting wide eyed.

"My car…oh why Allie!" Jasper sobbed some more. Edward and I decided to give him some alone grieving time.

"I feel bad for him…it was his car and his girlfriend…but we had to do something…she could of killed someone …she was driving so reckless…and that could of easily been you if we allowed her to drive her truck." Edward said holding me close. Just then the doorbell rang. We opened it and Alice unexpectedly bounced in the house with a shit load of luggage. She had just as much packed for this trip as Milan.

"Hey guys what happened last night?…I woke up and Charlie was lecturing me about the perils of drinking and driving and I have this big bruise on my arm." Alice asked.

"Alice put it this way…what you did last night could have been out of a movie. Your lucky to be alive…Jasper's car…dead cuz of you. My garage door has a huge hole in it and a police cruiser was heavily damaged. Your probably going to be on the "Worlds most dumbest police chases" screaming about not getting caught as you plow head on into a road block." Edward said.

"ALICE…OH ALICE YOUR ALRIGHT!" Jasper said gripping her in a vice grip.

"Your not mad at me?" Alice asked.

"Not really anymore…I can always replace a car…I cant replace you!" Jasper said.

"Jasper I am so sorry…I know how much you loved that car…I don't know how but I'll make it up to you…I swear…I'll buy you a shit load of southern comfort…we'll drink together!" Alice said.

"Alice doesn't that incident tell you to lay off the sauce?" Edward asked raising an eyebrow.

"Oh just because of one bad incident!" Alice said.

"Alice you've had two…this year…your lucky dad didn't cart your ass off to jail like the other officer did…you really need to die down the partying or one day your luck is going to run out." I said.

"Over dramatizing!" Alice said.

"We're not being overly dramatic Alice!" Edward and I said showing her the pictures on our phones.

"Damn I did that?" Alice gasped. We then brought her to the garage.

"Okay I'll admit I may of went a little overboard last night.

"A little overboard…try way overboard." I said.

"Well lets not get a head of ourselves here." Alice said.


	23. Leaving for California

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. oh and i dont own Lady Gaga either...thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 23

BPV

The rest of the day was spent getting the boys ready for tomorrow. Alice ecstatically picked out the guys outfits. In fact Alice was the only one doing any packing…she locked herself away in each bedroom for like an hour doing god knows what. All we knew was that suit cases would periodically fly out in the air. I don't know how she managed to lift some of them…they were bigger then her!

"BOMBS AWAY!" Alice shouted as a suit case flew down the stairs narrowly missing Jasper. This wasn't Jasper's day

"So the garage doorman's coming tonight to take the remains of the door off…we're gonna have to use a tarp to cover the hole…IF YOU WANT ALICE WE CAN PUT HOLES IN THE FLOOR TOO!" Edward called the last part upstairs. His only response was his duffle bag hitting him in the face. He fell flat on his ass.

"ALICEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Edward roared getting up and dusting himself off.

"Alice you know that wasn't nice…say your sorry!" I called up the stairs.

"I'm not sorry…jk…sorry!" Alice's voice carried down.

"gotta hand it to her though…little lady's got aim!" Jasper said.

"You have Aol instant messenger…where?" Alice called running down the stairs. Everyone rolled their eyes.

"I didn't say A.I.M I said aim…you know…" Jasper said holding his hand out like a gun.

"Oh sorry…messed that one up!" Alice said running back up the stairs.

"one more suit case…kawabungya!" we could hear from up the stairs.

"Bella can you come up here a second I want to show you something?" Alice called. I groaned…she probably wanted to launch a preemptive strike in the department of makeup…show me what I could expect in California.

"Alice you can show me the makeup but if you get near me with it I will kill you!" I said entering Edwards bedroom from which she was in I was shocked that she was standing over a suitcase with no makeup in sight.

"I just wanted to show you the new bathing suit I found and I cant show you in front of Edward because only girls can appreciate these things!" Alice said taking two pieces of string and bottoms that were dangerously close to being a thong out. I stared shocked. The top looked rediciously small but the bottoms looked kind of big for some one of Alice's size.

"Are you sure that's the right size?" I asked.

"Well see there was no extra small or small so I went with the medium. It fits!" Alice said. I didn't know how…a medium Alice definitely was not…her little tiny body would probably never make it to a small.

"you cant be serious…look it the chains give you more coverage then the cups!" I said. I never thought Alice would wear something like this.

"and look it we're going to be twinzies!" Alice said holding up a dark blue version. I refuse to wear that.

"Why does everyone get that fucked up look on their faces when I say 'we're gonna be twinzies' Jasper had that same look when I showed him my blonde hair!" Alice said. Oh I don't know maybe cuz now you and Jasper look more related then Edward and Jasper…same hair and eye color as well as distinct cheekbones. I could see why that freaked him out. If he ever got his way it would look like he hooked up with his twin to the outsider.

"Alice I'm not wearing that!" I said. I started to look wearily at my luggage bags.

"Whatever…prude…you can be out shown by the California girls but I'm not! Hell will freeze over first!" Alice said stuffing the remnants if what looked like what used to be a classic bikini in her bag. She then walked out. Scared…I grabbed my bag and went through it. Most of the clothes were on the more revealing side but some were normal and there was a shit load of lingerie in there. Alice was crazy…not stupid. Her head popped back in.

"Ey…no looking …at least not till we get to California!" Alice snarled. She put something in there that was probably above her level of craziness. I decided to look through again anyways…I had the right to know if Alice threw something fucked up in my luggage. All I saw was clothes ,bathing suits, lingerie, condoms, thick black rhinestone studded paddle with an obnoxious B on it…wait a minute! I don't own something like that? Alice was a freak. I tossed the paddle out the window and I heard a loud clonk. I went over to the window .Emmett who had come over to drop something off was rubbing his head and staring in confusion.

"What's this for…ping pong…it's a big paddle?" Emmett asked himself aloud. I had to bite my lip to stifle back the laughter. Jasper's head poked out his window. Eyeing the paddle out he started laughing hysterically.

"Ooh kinky Bella!" Jasper snickered. The window then magically fell on Jasper's head. I could hear Edward's vengeful laughter from Jasper's room. Jasper cried in pain.

"I don't get it?" Emmett said looking confused.

"What?" He asked nobody.

"your sister's sick!" Edward said walking in and wrapping his arm around me.

"how did you…?" I asked.

"You honestly don't think that I think _you_ bought that…look it…it sparkles…that practically has Alice written all over it!" Edward said as the rhinestones glinted in the light and blinded us. Emmett walked into the side of the house. Not knowing what was going on Alice looked confused at Emmett. She probably thought he was high or something. Tears were flowing…that's how hard I was trying not to laugh.

"Your sisters such a Horney little freak." Edward said.

"Yeah that's probably because she hasn't seen any action in a few months." I said.

"But even with that people don't act like that!" Edward countered.

"Well its Alice…she's not most people…you know how many people walked up to me and asked if Alice was gonna be a dominatrix in high school …so in her it's probably getting pent up ." I said. We both shuttered. Bad image!

After a few hours Edward and I decided to go out to eat. We pulled into a small pub in Port Angelus that I had always wanted to try. The bartender thinking Edward was good looking and I was his cousin gave us free beers. I guessed she was trying to show how big she was…but I intercepted the " My name is Rebecca…here's my number…call me hot stuff!" on his drink napkin. It would of pissed me off if she wasn't like 30. After about a half hour of eating and talking I noticed that Edward's posture was starting to change. He seemed more on guard.

"Look at those creepers over there ogling you…people are so disgusting." Edward said grilling across the room. My eyes flickered to where he was looking. They looked like 50 year old fat perverts and their ring leader was coming towards us.

"Come here sweet cheeks…have some real fun with us!" the man said pointing to his friends. I felt grossed out and Edward looked pissed.

"Look dude…why don't you just go sit back down and find someone else to hound and salivate over!" Edward hissed.

"You better watch your tongue boy…I eat people like you for breakfast!" the man said.

"I bet you do!" Edward said pointing at his whopping gut.

"Why you little…" The man was cut off by a breaking news bulletin on the T.V . Charlie's smiling face appeared on the TV.

"We have some serious business. Early this morning a man who goes by the name of Lonnie Bates escaped prison and attacked a young woman in the town of Forks…where I am the police chief of. He was last seen heading in the Port Angelus area. If you see this man please call 1800-999-0991...he's wanted and extremely dangerous." it flashed a picture of Lonnie who was of course the man who was about to fight Edward. The whole bar froze and whipped out their cell phones.

"You didn't even use an disguise? What an idiot!" The bartender said. Lonnie and his cronies ran drunkenly out of the front door.

"Ugh just great now I have to pay for all their drinks since they skipped out on the tab!" the bartender sighed.

"I'll pay for it because we caused a scene and you shouldn't have to pay for those scumbags!' Edward said. To drive the point home that he was just doing it to be nice and not hit on her or anything he wrapped his arm around me and kissed my forehead lovingly. The bartender was appreciative and backed off of hitting on Edward…knowing now that I wasn't just his "cousin".

When we walked out who was sitting there but Lonnie…what a stupid fuck. He started to walk over.

"I believe that we have some unfinished business guys!" Lonnie called out. I could see his eyes looking me over…pig! The thing that scared me was that there was no hint of a conscious what so ever in his eyes. He was one of the most menacing people that I ever saw. His fists clenched and I could tell that there was only two things on his mind and one of them was me.

"Doesn't he know that the cops will be here soon?" I whispered in Edwards ear.

"I don't think he gives a fuck." Edward whispered back. His cronies stood behind him lying in wait.

"Dude…fuck off. I'm warning you…leave us alone." Edward warned.

"I don't think you understand who your dealing with little boy!" Lonnie said with a hearty laugh. His knuckles cracked and his hands formed into fists…he got into a fighting position.

"Look man I'm telling you one last time…fuck off!" Edward said taking his shirt off.

"Ohh big man…I'm so scared!" Lonnie said in a mock girly voice. The switch blade that Edward always carried on him in case of a situation like this flew out of his back pocket and against Lonnie's neck.

"Try me now!" Edward growled. Lonnie gulped. I could see the sweat bead down his disgusting face.

"Alright…alright I'll leave you alone…just don't kill me please!" Lonnie sobbed. Edward let him go . Lonnie and his crew ran down a back ally and into the street where he was subsequently hit by a squad car. He actually bounced off. The cops came over and we gave our statements on what happened. Lonnie was now looking at a couple accounts of attempted assault now.

"My hero…saving us from the big bad criminal!" I snickered and we kissed. We then walked to the car before the media could arrive. Seeing Charlie on the news always meant that it was something to do with his work. Charlie seeing me on the news…well lets just say he'd blow a gasket to put it mildly. I rested my head on his shoulder the whole way back.

"What took you guys so long?" Alice asked materializing out of thin air…Jasper right behind her.

" your not going to believe what happened to us!" Edward said.

"Oh what now!" Alice groaned.

"Alice did you see dad on the news?" I asked.

"Dad was on the news…was our house on the news?" Alice asked oddly excited

"uh no…an escaped convict was running around the Olympic peninsula and who does he run into…me and Edward…wouldn't you know it!" I said disgusted.

"Ew omg was he at least hot?" Alice asked. Alice would ask that.

"Alice he was like fifty and fat!" I said.

"And don't forget dirty…or to put in your terms Alice ' his greasy hair shined in the light'" Edward said the last part in a mock Alice voice.

"EWW! THAT'S GROSS! LIKE SERIOUSLY USE SHAMPOO!" Alice gagged.

"So what happened?" Jasper asked. We then launched into the story.

"dude that sucks…but remind me never to attack you!" Jasper said when we finished the story. We flicked on the TV just in time to find images of Lonnie being arrested. Emmett who was still over parked himself on the recliner chair.

"Kudos to whoever threatened to knife that guys ass…that's totally sick!" Emmett said when it got to the part where what the news described as an unidentified male scared him off by holding a knife up to his throat. They then showed security tapes from outside the pub pointing at what was clearly mine and Edward's faces.

"DUDE YOUR SICK…YOU'RE A TOTAL BEAST…HAHA! DAMN YOU GOT THAT BLADE OUT SO FAST!" Emmett whooped.

"Emmett a fucking killer ( that's why Lonnie was in prison in the first place) like attacked them…that's all you have to say…they could of died!" Jasper said rubbing Alice's back.

"yeah they could of died…but they didn't and that's why Edwards a total beast!" Emmett said.

"I had a feeling something like that would happen…I knew I should of given you my brass knuckles!" Alice said. That's when my phone went off.

"I saw you on the news Bells…you couldn't give your old man one little phone call…your mom dropped the bowl of salad on my head when they showed the security video…you know I pay good money to keep those scumbags behind bars…hell I put them there myself…and they still get at my baby? I'm telling ya Bells the only one with any common sense is your knife wielding boyfriend!" Charlie roared the minute I picked up the phone.

"Dad calm down its not that bad!" I said.

"NOT THAT BAD! YOU WERE ALMOST MURDERED!" Charlie gasped into the phone.

"No we weren't!" I said.

"Bells the only reason you weren't hurt was because you had Jack "The Killer" Cullen's grandson next to you…you didn't see that young woman this morning….he fucking flayed her…her face is never going to be the same…if it was you Bella…god you cant even run 1 foot with out tripping over something your so clumsy!

"Geez thanks so muck for the confidence dad!" I said.

"That's it…your carrying your gun on you at all times I'm dropping it off right now!" Charlie said. I then heard the click that signified the phone hanging up.

"Hey grandpa sent you a message on face book Edward…said 'congratulations…your not a Cullen until you hold a mans life in your hands at least once…I can finally call you my grandson and mean it…tell Jazzy and Kill-a- Swan I said hi…remember always keep that knife where no one else can see it…I've never been so proud.. God Bless America…G.C!'" Jasper read with reverence in his voice. Edward shook his head. I got a look at Grandpa Cullen's profile pic. It was a picture of him holding an automatic in front of a huge red fire work. The gun was pointed down and he was saluting. They decided to look at his profile. Under his music interests section it read "God Bless America, America the Beautiful, God Bless the U.S.A…anything patriotic!" The doorbell rang at that point

"The Chief's here…I think I'll just let myself out the back!" Emmett said running away…he still feared my father. We opened the door to see my father sitting there with both mine and Alice's guns.

"Just dropping off some gifts!" Charlie said throwing our guns at us. Alice smiled and played around with hers.

"Bells…" Charlie started up.

"I know I know…keep them on us at all times!" I said partially annoyed. I knew though he was just being the overly protective father.

"Thank you daddy!" Alice beamed. Charlie then promptly left.

"I think I'll go polish this off…never know when your going to need it!" Alice said darting upstairs.

"Wait I'll help you !" the love slave said following suit. I looked at Edward.

"He's right…we should keep it on us at all times…we'll keep it in the car." Edward smiled.

"okay!" I said

"so are you excited for tomorrow?" Edward asked.

"oh definitely!" I smiled. I pecked his face.

" do you want to get started on the vacation early?" Edward's eyes twinkled as he asked this

"definitely!" I whispered. He scooped me up and carried me upstairs. Looks like I was going to have a fun night!

I awoke in Edward's arms as the alarm blared at 6 am. His parents had already left for work. I stared at his sleeping peaceful face and smiled. He was mine and I was his…it felt almost dream like. His eyes slowly flickered open and my favorite smile spread across his face. Our lips were just about to meet when we heard the door bell ring and Emmett's voice echoing in saying "Ding dong…anyone home?". we heard a groan from Jasper's room and a loud thud. Stopping only to throw bathrobes on we ran down the stairs. Opening the door we found Emmett on the doorstep with a huge carryon. His car looked brimming with stuff.

"Hey guys…your not gonna believe what happened. Last night when I left here I ran into Jessica Stanley. She said that she needed a ride to that camp you guys said you were going to…that she was a councilor…so I gave her a ride up there. After what I would say isn't one of my finest moments she told me that she heard we were going to California. I thought 'I didn't know about this' and then I realized that it was a test that you guys must of set up…you know…I figure it out and I can come? So I passed the test and here I am!" Emmett beamed. Edward pulled me closer to him and Jasper had a horrified look on his face .

"Who told Jessica?" I whispered. All eyes reverted to Alice.

"Guilty…I may of slipped up at the party…I was talking to her when Jasper was getting out the punchbowl and I may of mentioned it. But I didn't think that Emmett would run into her!" Alice said.

"So can I come?" Emmett asked.

"Sure why not." Edward said. Jasper rolled his eyes.

"You know for a second there I thought you guys didn't want me to go." Emmett said.

"Why would you think that…of course we would want you to go with us!" Edward said. I nodded in agreement. Jasper coughed what sounded suspiciously like "No we wouldn't!" Alice subtly elbowed him in the ribs.

" be nice!" Alice whispered and hissed to Jasper. His face showed nothing but there was a hint shock in his eyes.

"Give us a few minutes and then we'll head out…since your car is the only one big enough can we take it Em?" Alice asked. Emmett nodded excitedly. I swore he looked just as happy as Alice to go!


	24. Hotel California

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 24

BPV

"29 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL….TWENTY NINE BOTTLES OF BEER TAKE ONE DOWN PASS IT AROUND TWENTY EIGHT BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL!" Emmett was bellowing. When he finished the first round he went back to 99. I felt like I wanted to kill myself. Edward looked really annoyed. Jasper was bashing his head against the window and Alice looked like she never wanted to see a beer ever again.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! YOU'VE BEEN SINGING THAT SONG EVER SINCE WE HIT THE HIGHWAY…I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!..YOU DON'T SHUT UP…ALL WE HEARD SINCE WE ENTERED THIS CAR WAS BEACH BOYS SONGS AND THAT REDICILOUS SONG…LIKE SERIOUSLY SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Jasper roared. He looked like he wanted to punch Emmett's seat. Emmett then changed the tune. I had a new found understanding of "be careful of what you wish for …for it can come true"

"I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODYS NERVES….EVERYBODY'S NERVES…EVERYBODY'S NERVES… I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODYS NERVES AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES!" Emmett belched out.

"AHHHHHHH!" Jasper said smacking his head against the back seat. In the effort to get him to shut up I asked Emmett about his plans for next year.

"Oh me? I'm going to NYU…daddy had some friends on the board and all I had to do was make a phone call. I'm gonna be in the middle of downtown L.A baby!" Emmett whooped. Everyone stared horrified . Seriously how did Emmett graduate?

"Emmett…NYU is in…" Alice was cut off by Jasper's hand being placed over her mouth.

"our chance to get away from Emmett for good and your gonna blow it?" I heard Jasper whisper.

"See here's my acceptance letter!" Emmett said taking out a white envelope.

"Please don't let him look at the return address!" Jasper mouthed.

"Wait a minute…NYU is in New York…as in the east coast?" Emmett asked seriously shocked.

"Crap!" Jasper whispered.

"so I'm going to be going to school in the area that was the basis for Jay zee's "empire state of mind"!" Emmett said excitedly. Jasper groaned

"What are you gonna study?" I asked. I should of expected what would come out of his mouth.

"Gym of course!" Emmett said

"Your gonna go to school…any school…to study gym?" I asked. The job prospects for Emmett seemed dim at best.

"Yeah you know become a personal trainer…maybe open my own gym one day…my dream is to boost up America's muscles one step at a time!" Emmett said. Images of Emmett hosting a Mr. America competition burst into mind. I had to keep myself from laughing hysterically.

"Oh that sounds…er interesting!" I said.

"hey maybe I can score you guys free gym memberships!" Emmett said.

"Thanks Em…we'll let you know if we need any!" Edward said.

" yeah we'll see in a few years when I'm running a huge gym empire…ooh look it L.A Fittness!" Emmett said getting distracted. I could picture Emmett running like a globo gym

"ooh if you open your own gym can I design clothes for it…I mean we all know that gym wear needs a fashion update!" Alice said. Leave it to Alice to say something like that.

" hey I like Reebok!" Emmett said insulted.

"That's exactly my point…its also the reason why I should be designing the clothes. From a business standpoint your gonna take such a hit if you do Reebock…with me you wont have to buy the clothes…I'll donate them…your profit margins will go way up Emmett ." Alice pleaded. That statement showed how desperate Alice was to get her clothes out and seen.

"Deal!" Emmett said shaking her hand

"you don't even have a gym yet!" I said.

"Well when I get one…Alice and I will go into business together!" Emmett said.

"Then you should be going to school for business not gym." Edward said.

"Hey to run a gym you need to know gym!" Emmett said.

"You also need to know about business so that way you don't run into the red!" Edward said.

"Alice can be the business mind!" Emmett said. Alice with access to business information scared me.

"That's right Em…you tell them." Alice said. I could see plans lay themselves out in Alice's mind.

"What would you say to a accent wall?" Alice asked Emmett.

"What's that?" Emmett asked.

"It's a wall that makes the other parts of the room stand out." Alice said. I had a funny feeling that she was gonna want to paint said wall some version of pink.

"Ooh okay…yeah I could see a deep blue wall where the boflexes would be!" Emmett said.

"More like florescent pink but whatever!" Alice mumbled. Emmett didn't catch what she said.

"So what would you call it if you got a gym?" I asked.

"I'm deciding between McCarthy's gym land and Jacked: the jack of all trades." Emmett said. Everyone just shook their heads. Might as well just name the gym Emmett's world or something like that.

"Its gonna be awesome…I'll sponsor sports games and everything…who knows I might mentor a superstar one day!" Emmett was going on.

"We're sure it will be Emmett." We all said.

"I can see t-shirts already… "Jacked :The Jack of all trades" written in pink on a pink background for girls and a blue background for boys…ooh maybe we can offer ballet lessons!" Alice said

"Alice!" Emmett said.

"What…we all know your going to have synchronized swimming just so you could look at the girls boobs and asses Emmett…might as well just add ballet that way you can check out the dance teachers asses as well!" Alice countered.

"Well when you say it like that…maybe we can add yoga as well!" Emmett said. I didn't know if he even knew what yoga meant.

A while later we pulled into the hotel. Even thought the car ride felt like it was forever I kind of didn't want it to end. The end of the car ride meant the trip had a timer on it…that we had a limited amount of time to freely be together with out interference from my father. Then it was back to sneaking Edward through the window. Stepping out the bright sunshine hit me in the face. It was so odd that Forks and this place could be on the same side of the continent and yet seem so far apart. It was almost never sunny in Forks.

"The sun…it burns…ahh my skin's turning leathery tan!" Alice mocked flipping her guess sunglasses on. A bunch of bell boys came to take her stuff. I noticed her eye out a bell boy that looked like he could be Jaspers identical twin brother.

"ooh come here hot California hunk of man…I wish there was more of you where I come from!" Alice said. Was she that idiotic? He looked exactly like Jasper. From what I could see Alice wasn't the only one that couldn't see the resemblance…I swear I saw Jasper rub a tear…his face angry and red.

"Psst Edward…am I the only one that sees the resemblance between Jasper and Alice's eye candy?" I whispered.

"no your right…it looks like Jasper's cosmic twin!" Edward laughed softly.

"what's going on?" Emmett asked. He had completely tuned out the entire incident.

"Yo Edward…I thought your Jasper's twin?" Emmett asked. Wow…just wow. And they want to run business together. So much brain power is going to be in that building! Edward and I looked at each other and shook our heads.

" I am Jasper's twin…its just a guy that has a striking resemblance to him ." Edward said .

"I'll say…gotta wonder if there was some switch up at birth…say you weren't born in California were you Edward?" Emmett asked.

"No Seattle…which you should know since your dad was the male nurse that delivered me!" Edward snarled. Marcus McCarthy was a man of many disguises…I swore the man had a degree for every job in the world…and he probably worked for a short time in most of those fields. He got most of his money corrupting people at those jobs.

"Man you know I didn't keep up with how many jobs my dad had a week…especially when I was scrawny." Emmett said. He then went charging over to the bell boy.

"HEY BLONDE OVER THERE…not you Jasper!…YEAH YOU…DO YOU KNOW WHO MARCUS MCCARTHY IS?" Emmett bellowed. What the fuck?

"Who?" The kid asked.

"guess that rules out that theory…anyone who lived in Washington for even five seconds would know about my dad!" Emmett said. Oh yes anyone who had linage in Washington would know about the grand McCarthy family…or should I say the McCarthy "Family". Edward and I ducked our heads away in embarrassment. We scooted inside as fast as possible. Edward walked to the counter and handed the lady his fake id.

"yes hi…we're checking in…we have two rooms booked under the name Edward Cullen but we were wondering if you could get us an extra room…see we didn't think we'd need it but at the last minute we did." Edward asked.

"I'm sorry sir…every room is filled…there is no vacancies." the receptionist said.

"what? Are you kidding me? This is a hotel…there should be one room that's open!" Edward argued.

"I'm sorry sir…WE ARE FILLED!" The lady countered.

"Fine then…we'll get a cot…we'll put him out in the hall way!" Edward said.

"I'm sorry sir…you cant do that…we don't have any cots left!" the lady said.

"Are you kidding me?" Edward gasped.

"This is a very busy time of year…if you called ahead…" The receptionist was cut off by Alice.

"Don't worry about it…we'll figure it out!" Alice said.

"Hey roomies!" Emmett said putting his arms around me and Edward as Alice gathered the keys.

"What room are we in?" Emmett asked me. I started to freak out because Edward and I were booked in a single bed bedroom…I couldn't imagine sleeping with Emmett sleeping in the same bed as me…actually that thought had me grossed out.

"Actually big guy…we're your new roommates since they have a single bed and we have a double!" Alice said pointing between Jasper and herself.

"oh man why do I have to bunk with the two weirdos you're my best friend!" Emmett said as Alice grabbed his shirt collar and dragged him away.

"Thank you!" Edward mouthed to Jasper.

" just remember next vacation…Hawaii…your paying!" Jasper growled as Alice dragged him into the bedroom.

As soon as we got into our room we got settled. Edward was holding me in his arms and we were sipping on the Champaign that Alice forced into our suitcases at last minute when we could hear a commotion from across the hall. Emmett's booming voice echoed in our room.

"I don't get why I cant sleep with them…Edward's my best friend!" Emmett said.

"Cuz Emmett…they're together…their a couple…what do you think…its gonna be like a children's sleepover! Its not like we're all twelve years old any more…they're gonna be doing things!" Alice's voice said.

"What things?" Emmett asked.

"huh…they're gonna be doing the hanky-panky…you know the naughty, the nasty…do I have to spell it out for you Emmett?" Alice said loud enough that the whole hall burst out in laughter.

"I don't get what your saying Alice?" Emmett asked confused.

"THEY'RE GONNA HAVE S.E.X…NOW SHUT UP DUMB BOY!" An elderly neighbor yelled. Edward and I hid our faces in the pillows. We don't know them…we don't know them!

"s.e.x…s.e.x…OH I GET IT…SEX!" Emmett shouted.

"Took ya long enough!" a little kid yelled. The parents shushed the kid away for he was standing right outside their door and gave Emmett a dirty look.

"I cant believe he just said that out loud!" Edward said embarrassed. We could hear the parents down the hallway lecturing their kid about waiting till marriage. Said something like we were dammed to go to hell when Alice shouted " YOU CANT TELL ME YOU GUYS DIDN'T DO THE DIRTY BEFORE YOU GUYS GOT HITCHED!". The woman turned around and flashed a bible at Alice.

"Judging by the age of your child and your age…can you say shot gun wedding!" Alice snarled. The lady's jaw dropped.

"That's what I thought …now mind your business and shut that mouth of yours!" Alice said slamming the door. Alice came in after.

"What they were like 23...that kid was like five…that puts conception at what 17/ 18...they were not married…you have to end the hypocrisy now…cuz once that kid finds out…they know what sex is at five…lets see what ten years does!" Alice said. Alice was so evil sometimes

"now I'm off to explore the terrain…have fun guys!" Alice said slipping the "do not disturb" sign on the door before she shut it.

"I know this is like the millionth time I said this but she is so weird!" Edward exclaimed the minute she was gone.

"yeah but weird makes life interesting…makes her achieve her goal of standing out from the crowd." I said. We then leaned in to kiss. The flames of passion consumed the both of us. About a half hour later we were disrupted.

"What are you listening to Frankie…EWWWWW…OMG!" that same woman's voice from before reverberated into our room effectively stopping us.

"You again? WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM LADY?" Alice's voice carried.

"Your friends were "doing it" so loud that it attracted my son to this spot!" the lady said to Alice.

"Really …is that a stethoscope in your hand? They were so loud that he needed a stethoscope to listen to them! I think you should focus your attention to your son…the real culprit at hand…and not the innocent couple making love!" Alice roared. Five minutes later there was a phone call.

"hello?" I answered.

"Yes this is the front desk …we received a complaint saying that there was loud sexual noises coming from the room. Then we received a phone call from one Alice Swan saying that a couple was harassing you cuz their son was a pervert and listening with a stethoscope through your wall. We're just gonna put it like this. We know you probably weren't doing anything wrong but there is a Christian retreat staying here over the weekend and while we cant tell you not to do it…just try to keep vocalizations to a very dull level and we're gonna have staff watching for the little boy. We're so sorry for the inconvenience!" The front desk person said.

"Thank you." I said hanging up the phone. I turned and told Edward

" wow that lady's a freak!" Edward said.

"Thank god Alice called…or they would of thought we were some perverted sexual freaks!" I said. There was a knock on the door.

"IT'S ALICE!" Alice's voice rang through. We threw on bathrobes and opened the door.

"Alice that lady called." I said.

"Are you serious…I KNEW IT…I KNEW IT…THAT'S WHY I CALLED…LOOKS LIKE JASPER WON THE BET!" Alice said.

"We know you called…they said it…and we're booked here with a Christian retreat.." I said

"So basically we're in a building with a bunch of Charlie's…I think I'm going to need more earmuffs!" Alice snickered on the last part.

Later on that night I snuck into Alice's hotel room to grab brush that she stowed away to attack me with in the morning. I had taken a shower and I needed to dry my hair. I walked in to find Jasper and Emmett sharing a bed and Alice had her own. She was sprawled across the bed and saying "Jasper I love these snake skin Manolos!" with a excited expression on her face. Jasper and Emmett were sharing the other bed. There was a huge pillowed divider between them but Emmett managed to climb up it and was now sleep humping the pillows.

"YEAH JESSICA….YEAH KATE…YEAH BLONDE BIMBO100...YEAH EDWARD'S IMAGANARY COUSIN ROSALIE!" Emmett was shouting while sleep humping. I was gonna have to burn that image out of my memories. Jasper was cowering in fear. He motioned for me to come to him. When I reached him I bent down.

"Help me!" he whispered.

"I don't know what I can do…cant you go in to Alice's bed?" I asked.

"I cant…I'm afraid to move…what if he thinks I'm a girl?" Jasper whined

"Jasper…you should of thought about this…you should of gotten a suite…it would of fit all of us!" I said.

"yeah but I didn't think _he _would come…this would have been just fine if it were just the four of us." Jasper said

"Yeah well plans change in the blink of an eye." I sighed.

"You don't have to tell me that…I wish we never gave him Rosalie's name though!" Jasper said as Emmett belched out "YEAH ROSALIE RIGHT THERE…PAPA LIKE!" while humping the pillow harder.

"Jasper I really cant help you…there's no furniture that you can sleep on in our room…I mean your welcome to try but you'll probably hurt yourself." I said. Jasper sighed.

"may I ask though…why did you give Alice her own bed?" I asked.

"Alice demanded it…said we wouldn't be gentlemen if we didn't give her own bed…how could I argue with that?" Jasper asked. I felt bad for the man. His love for my sister subjected him to Emmett's sexual prowess.

"alright how about this...if Emmett tries anything whack him with this ( I gave him Alice's purse which was on the nightstand) its heavy enough to stop him…and if you cant get to Alice's bed ( I couldn't believe I said that part to her stalker) you have our extra room key…but only use it in an emergency." I said. Jasper looked relieved.

"Thank you!" he said. At that I left the room. I came in to find Edward sitting on the bed waiting.

"Your not going to believe what I just saw." I said sitting on the bed.

"I think I'm willing to believe anything after at least these past few weeks…what did you see?" Edward asked.

"Your brother…sharing a bed with Emmett…who was having an extremely erotic dream. I feel bad …your brother looked traumatized when I last saw him…he was lucky there was a divider up." I said.

"I'm sorry you had to see that…must have been awful." Edward said half playfully half actually disgusted. He held me in his arms.

"you know I love you!" Edward said playing with one of my locks of hair.

" ooh I love you too!" I smiled pulling his face closer to mine. Our lips met. He was the best kisser ever…every kiss we shared seemed to be the best that I ever had. Afterwards I drifted off into a peaceful blackness.

My dream that evening was the one that I had always been having since Edward and I got together. The one where we were hiking in Forks. We were seriously going to have to do this sometime in real life. It repeated the same way down to waiving at dream Jasper in the trees. I looked into his sparkling eyes as the sun rose. Our lips met . Then I woke up to Edward's beaming face. Oh how I love reality!


	25. Beach party

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 25

BPV

The next day was warm and sunny so we decided to hit up the local beaches. Well it was more like Alice forced everyone to go. I woke up to find Alice had already put my bikini on me…how I didn't know but at least it wasn't the more revealing one…and was now tossing beach towels at us. Edward was staring at her shocked.

"What I do have enough common sense to know not to put _your_ bathing suit on Edward." Alice said.

"That's not the point Alice…you know damn well you shouldn't of come in here while we were sleeping…did you ever consider what if we were doing…other things?" Edward snarled.

"oh Edward you don't think I didn't think of that…I looked before I walked in…I didn't see anything…I knew it was safe!" Alice said as if we were discussing what to wear. She then went back to her room

"Tell me something I don't know!" I said. Right after Edward put his bathing suit on there was a knock at the door. Jasper , Emmett and Alice strode through the door way. Alice was beaming.

"Ready to show those plastic Barbie dolls what real girls look like?" Alice laughed. She was wearing that almost nothing bikini. We all rolled our eyes.

" hey Alice don't hate on those plastic Barbie dolls…they're actually really nice you know!" Emmett said.

"yeah to you…cuz they want to get in your pants…hello you're a single tourist…can you say one night stand!" Alice snorted

"They're not all like that!" Emmett said. Alice pointed to the scantly clad women who was doing car washes in the parking lot of the hotel…which you could see from our window. They were slapping their asses with the squeegee and spraying each other. Their breasts were hitting the windshield of the car.

"Damn!…uh I think my jeep needs to be washed down. I'll be back…hopefully not till much later!" Emmett said making for the door.

"Uh don't you even think about it! I think much more then your jeep needs to be washed down if you ask me…Emmett you told me last night that you actually want a nice classy girl…well your not gonna get that if your banging the car wash hoes!" Alice said blocking the door.

"oh man Alice!" Emmett sighed walking away defeated.

"you'll be thanking me later Em!" Alice said.

"I don't think I will!" Emmett said.

As we were walking to the car Emmett looked forlornly at the girls.

"Cant we just?" Emmett asked.

"No!" Alice said.

"But cant we?" Emmett pleaded.

"NO!" Alice repeated.

"I'm having such De ja vou. This reminds me of Cousin Rosalie in Port Angelus. See her last boyfriend wanted to "see the sights" in downtown Port Angelus…if you count a pair of daisy dukes as seeing "the sights". subsequently his ass was grass that night and he was sent back to where he came from." Jasper said

"sounds like a person I would get along with!" Alice said.

"When do I get to meet this Rosalie?" Emmett asked.

"Oh soon Emmett… _very_ soon!" Jasper said.

""Why do you torment me with imaginary beautiful women!" Emmett whined.

"Hey I never said she was beautiful…you made that up in your head…and be careful when you meet her Emmett…she'll chew you up and spit you out!" Jasper warned.

"Ooh sounds kinky!" Emmett said. Jasper rolled his eyes.

"Believe me you might regret saying that!" Jasper said.

"whatever whatever…lets go…I want to see what California has to offer in the women's department!" Emmett said as we jumped into the car. It sped off to the nearest beach.

"whoop whoop!" Emmett fist pumped as we pulled into the parking lot of the nearest beach.

We piled on the blanket that Alice bought when we realized that there was a problem. No one had brought sun screen and we needed it…especially poor Jasper. Out of like nowhere Alice whipped out SPF 80 out of her purse. We all looked at her.

"What like I want my face getting ruined…even if it's on Jasper's back!" Alice said. Jasper took the SPF like it god almighty. I didn't think we would get it back. Fortunately I was wrong and he did eventually share the sun screen.

"Ahh this is the life!" Alice said grabbing a lemonade out of the small cooler that we brought along. She laid back down and sipped on it.

"The only way this could possibly get any better was if this lemonade magically turned into a pinta colata or a bahama mama or a bikini tini!" Alice said. Just then we saw a bartender head into the closed bar in front of us and open up shop.

"Glory Hallelujah " Alice said sprinting towards the bar as if it were the only body of water that was in a desert that she had been wandering forever.

"I'll have two bikini tini's and a bahama mama…for those people over there!" Alice lied brightly. The bartender didn't even card the scantly clad Alice. The bartender handed them to her. She gave the man a couple of bills , grabbed the drinks, and walked back over. By the time she got back to us…a distance of only ten feet…two out of the three drinks were gone and she was well into the third.

"Alice I think you should chill!" I said.

"What I can drink like eight of these no prob!" Alice said putting her sun glasses and exhaling happily.

"Alice it doesn't matter about the size…do you know how strong they are…and your sitting on a cloudless day on a beach in California to boot!" I said. .

"I'm gonna be just fine!" Alice said starting to slur.

"hey its five o clock somewhere!" Emmett whooped. I swear my friends live by that rule. Emmett then stood up and got a corona with a lime.

"Partay Alice!" Emmett called.

"Whoot whoot!" Alice shouted from the water. After three glasses of straight southern comfort Jasper decided to join Alice in the water.

"Pool Partay! Anyone got a beach ball?" Alice called running out of the water and into Jasper's arms.

"Oh well we'll find one later!" Alice said turning around. Jasper practically collapsed. Her barely there bikini bottoms rode all the way up her butt clearly exposing both ass cheeks. Gucci was written on her left ass cheek with a little purse hanging off the second C. a bunch of guys wolf whistled and yelled "Hey Gucci mama!". in the mean time Alice had managed to drag Jasper into the water with her. I observed that Jasper was making no movements to swim. Then a monstrous wave crashed on the both of them. Alice came up laughing…her bathing suit twisted all the way around so that now she was practically nude. There was no sign of Jasper except for his bathing suit shorts floating in the water.

"Uh Edward…" I started. But already Edward got up and ran towards the water. I got up and followed. Some one needed to fix Alice's serious wardrobe malfunction. As my toes touched the water I realized that it was fucking cold. How the hell did she stay in here all day? Emmett was to oblivious…talking to blonde bimbos at the bar…to realize what was going on.

"Bellz…got a beach ball?" Alice called drunkenly standing up. I heard a bunch of men clap including the bartender.

"Why don't you take it all off too brown eyes!" The bartender called.

"Pig!" Edward snarled from twenty feet away. He was towing Jasper's unconscious body.

"Alice look down!" I whispered.

"Oh who cares…you come into this world naked!" Alice said.

"Alice come here…let me fix it…and don't let it get that way again…if you were sober right now you'd realize that you just flashed and mooned the entire beach!" I growled.

"Oh shut up…tell her Jazz!" Alice slurred. He was still unconscious from seeing Alice's ass.

"Jasper's unconscious right now…which again you would realize if you were sober…I'm not gonna let you drink if you always go out and get like this!" I said dragging her back to shore where Edward was waiting with towels.

"Damn little pixie's got one hell of a body!" We heard voices say from behind us. This was what brought Jasper back to life. He woke up and immediately stomped over to the three surfers.

"hey I appreciate it if you don't talk about my friend that way!" Jasper snarled.

"_friend_…I don't think that girl could be _friends _with anybody…maybe friends with benefits…haha!" The surfers said.

"You little assholes!" Jasper growled under his breath.

"Chill man its not even worth it…they probably know everyone on this beach!" Edward said.

"No one talks about my Allie like that…DO YOU KNOW WHO MY GRANDFATHER IS…JACK "THE KILLER" CULLEN!" Jasper said getting in their faces. The people looked at him as if they never heard of the name before.

"What a stupid fuck …this entire beach could turn on us!" Edward said shaking his head and rubbing his hand through his hair.

"Got the switch blade?" I asked.

"yeah…in the pocket of my shorts by the blanket." Edward said. He was already mentally preparing to take it out again. It was then that Emmett walked by with the Corona still in his hand.

"Shush!" Emmett hushed us putting his hand up to his lip. He then stood behind Jasper and flexed his enormous muscles menacingly. Their faces turned white at the sight of Emmett.

"Hey man we don't want any problems…man we're sorry!" They said running away.

"THAT'S RIGHT…WALK AWAY YOU COWARDS!" Jasper hollered at their retreating forms.

"Hey guys did you see what I did…I'm such a badass!" Jasper called running back to us extremely pleased with himself. He and Alice then ran back to the water. We watched as they played in the water

"I don't have the heart to tell him." Emmett sighed as we watched Jasper happily play in the water.

"neither do we." Edward and I said together. No one wanted to hurt Jasper's feelings.

"then he never needs to know." Emmett said. Alice and Jasper then went back to the bar.

"You know that bartender has been eyeing both you and Alice out all day…but you have blade boy so your safe. Alice however…is trashed, almost completely naked and doesn't have the benefit of a sober boyfriend…hell the closest thing to her boyfriend is also trashed. I think I'll go make sure that the bartender doesn't try to feel her up!" Emmett said as Jasper and Alice staggered into the bar seats.

"Wow…Emmett actually watching out for the safety of a drunk girl…usually he's the one taking advantage of them. He must be gaining some respect for you guys!" Edward said as we stared at each other shocked.

"I guess so." was all I said. After a while we dragged Alice and Jasper to the car.

"Hey if you guys want to come in and party…feel free to come in…see when I was at the bar I may of bought a couple of small bottles of stuff…something about samples…so judging by how these two are acting I think our room is going to be the party room tonight." Emmett said as he walked into his hotel room with a lit Jasper and Alice.

"Okay we'll hold ya to that!" Edward and I said as we walked into ours. We took a few minutes to change up and then walked into the other's room. Emmett had enough Patron to equal two of the biggest bottles that they could make of the stuff. He also had like a ten year supply of some vodka that I had never heard of before. Alice and Jasper were already getting the party started.

"Whoot whoot…need some music!" Alice said rolling off the bed. She crawled to Emmett's I-pod and hit play. Rap music filled the air.

"have some!" Alice said shoving full large plastic glasses of what looked like orange juice that was heavily spiked with vodka in mine and Edward's faces. Edward and I looked at each other and grabbed them .

"Cheers!" we said clinking the plastic cups together.

"Oh alright!" Emmett whopped!

Half way through my glass I was feeling it. I was feeling a buzz from what I had drank. Edward looked like he was feeling it too. He was about the same as I was. Feeling more daring then I would sober we all got up and danced in the middle of the hotel room…well Alice and Jasper didn't dance…it was more like a half tango that ended with them on the floor laughing hysterically. The doorbell rang.

"Ooh what's this…looks like someone ordered us a shit load of Champaign!" Emmett said as four bottles of Champaign came into the room. There was a note attached_._The note read with the woman's telephone number attached.

_To my new eye candy Emmett._

_May you enjoy every last drop._

_Candy._

_p.s call me next time your in Cali…heres my number!" _

The note read with the woman's telephone number attached.

"Yeah…that was the hot one!" Emmett said as he cracked open the first bottle. Alice took the first glass he filled out of his hand and forced it in mine.

"Bellz…ya only liveee oncth you know…drink….kick backth a Littlith" Alice slurred heavily as she did so. Alice was gone. I drank it to satisfy her. There was another ring at the door and someone came in delivering a huge bottle Jack Daniels. Damn Emmett must of made an impression on those girls.

"Perfect!" Alice said cracking the bottle open and filling a bunch of glasses. She handed me a tall glass that was filled to the brim.

"Uh Alice…I think Bella's had enough…your forgetting she doesn't drink that often!" Edward said sounding lit.

"Oh shut up prude…Chug chug chug!" Alice said forcing the glass down my throat. I had no choice but to drink it. Needless to say I blacked out after that.

I awoke to Edwards concerned face the next morning. The light that was entering the room made the headache that I had ten times worse and my stomach learched over in a nasty way. Three guesses what happened last night.

"how do you feel?" he asked tenderly.

"horrible…what the hell did I do last night?" I moaned.

"that question should be more like 'what did Alice make you do we should have a talk with your sister about shoving alcohol down people's throats…especially after their boyfriends tell her not to!" Edward said.

"what happened after that?" I asked afraid.

"You passed out…I carried you in here. You got sick a few times. Honestly I think you gave Jasper a run for his money in scaring me to death. You could of died and it was all due to Alice's drunken stupidity. I told her you were not a big drinker…that she should lay off…but no…apparently Alice is all knowing when she's three sheets to the wind. I'm surprised that _she_ didn't get alcohol poisoning last night. After the hotel room thing the three of them went to the hotel bar where I could hear them singing karaoke from our room. On a positive not this is the best that I've seen the three of them get along. Maybe we should of made them share a room a long time ago." Edward said. It was then that the doorbell rang and Alice came in looking very white. After that whole night of drinking Alice had a minor hangover…and I was nearly dead. How fair was that!

"What happened yesterday? I Must have had a good night…I can feel it a little!" Alice said sipping on her coffee. The smell of which made me sick.

"Oh damn Bella you must have had a great night!" Alice said brightly as I threw up into a bucket.

" not really!" Edward said glaring at Alice.

"ah I remember the days when I used to get that sick…not any more!" Alice said taking another sip of her strong smelling coffee.

"What is in that coffee?" I asked. It didn't smell right.

"coffee and samboca…duh…fights the hangovers…want some?" Alice asked. I ran for my bucket.

"Geez Bella are you sure you don't have a bug?" Alice asked.

"This is how normal people get hangovers when they drink that much Alice!" I chocked.

"You know Alice…you pride yourself with being there for your sister. Well last night you weren't…you almost killed her! Your lucky that Jasper, Emmett, and I were the only guys in your hotel room…you could have had some sick pervert in there and you wouldn't of even remembered it. You actually forced Jack down her throat." Edward growled.

"Oh Edward you exaggerate too much…we're just fine thank you very much!" Alice said.

"How many times do we have to tell you…we don't exaggerate…and does Bella look fine to you!…and then there was yesterday afternoon!" Edward said.

"What are you talking about 'yesterday afternoon'?" Alice asked.

"You haven't seen the news have you!" Edward said turning the T.V on. They were playing the 7 am news.

"And in other news today there is a new You tube star out there. It had a million hits in its first twenty seconds. This video was taken at one of the local beaches. Looks like someone was having a end of summer harah" the news caster said as video of Alice's wardrobe malfunction played. As they played it I prayed that Jasper wasn't near a television…and if he was I prayed that they didn't show him and the surfer dudes. I was actually relieved when it ended with Edward covering Jasper up with a towel and me dragging Alice out of the water.

"she's probably doing the walk of shame this morning!" The newscaster said when it ended. Alice was staring horrified at the screen. And that was why I didn't want to wear the blue version that she had brought me!

"OH. MY. GOD…THAT WAS ME…I GAVE AN ENTIRE BEACH AN EYE FULL…AND ITS ON THE INTERNET…UGHH I AM NEVER GOING TO LIVE THIS DOWN…HOW EMBARRASSING! I CANT BELIEVE THAT!" Alice shrieked horrified.

"Maybe you'll think about that next time before you go to a bar in almost nothing!" Edward said. It was then that Emmett came in.

"Ugh guys…I think we have a problem…Jasper's not waking up and he's purple. He's breathing but barely…I don't know man he looks horrible…I'm scared man…he looks like he's about to die or something!" Emmett said. Edward scooped me up and went to check on Jasper. We could hear chocking sounds coming from him. Edward looked in his mouth and then picked him up and gave him the Heimlich maneuver.

"I don't know man it was odd…one minute he was eating a jaw breaker…then boom he was like this…I tried waking him up but nothing. I'm scared…what if he dies…what if he…" Emmett couldn't finish that sentence for the jawbreaker flew out of Jasper and went in Emmett's mouth.

"hey it's the one that changes flavors!" Emmett said sucking on Jasper's jawbreaker

"EWW!" Alice said. I scrambled into the bathroom to puke. Alice's cries of "EWW" grew louder.

" Alice shut up…its your fault that Bella's in that condition…and if you hadn't been in our room drinking your samboca laced coffee you would have been in here and realized that Jasper was chocking to death. And your a lot smarter then Emmett so you would of known how to do the Heimlich maneuver…so shut up and help out!" Edward said.

"how…I don't knows what to do?" Alice asked.

"Stay with him…make sure he's still breathing…I'll take Bella." Edward said. The bathroom door then opened up and he carried me out. He placed me in bed and got me crackers and water. Two hours later I was starting to feel better. Alice came in.

"Alright …I've been gracious enough to allow you these two hours to recover…we're going shopping!" Alice said flicking clothes at me.

" Alice!" Edward said.

"Oh stop poo pooing…your going too!" Alice said. Edward and I looked at each other and groaned.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Edward said.

"Edward we're in California…Gucci is calling my name…we're going!" Alice said dragging us out the door.


	26. Jaspers representation

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 26

BPV

The rest of the week was quiet compared to that. We had to have the police extract Alice from a couple of stores but that was about it. This trip made me excited for New York. If this was the trial run then New York was going to be a blast. Edward held me in his arms the whole way home. I felt warm, safe and loved. I nestled my self closer to him and inhaled his sweet sent. I barely even remembered the rest if the ride home.

Two days later I was sitting in my bedroom reading Wuthering heights when Alice came walking in with a huge smile on her face. I had a funny feeling that whatever she was about to say I was some how going to be involved.

"So Bells…I was thinking…since Jasper has me well represented on his back and I have nothing I want to get a little something done today. I figured since you have something already for Edward you wouldn't mind going to the tattoo parlor with me…Edward could come along if you want." Alice said. She must have been utilizing the her time left until Charlie came home.

"sure what were you thinking of getting ?" I asked

"_A+J=BFFL _of course…Jazzy will love it!" Alice said excitedly. Oh no Jazzy wont_._

"Alice BFFL is a little girly…how about you do A+J and the date you met in a heart necklace tattoo?" I asked. I knew Jasper would read more into it but I couldn't have him see _A+J= BFFL_…it would kill him.

"Ooh that sounds good too!" Alice said.

"Alright I'll call Edward and we'll go." I said. I was stuck going. I knew that if I didn't _A+J = BFFL _would be sprawled across Alice's back. Oh well if it meant time with Edward. I grabbed my phone.

"EEEE! THANKYOU!" Alice squealed as I dialed the number.

"Hey!" Edward greeted picking up the phone.

"oh hey!" I said back.

"so what's the plan for today?" Edward asked.

"Well Alice wants to get a tattoo…and since the nearest tattoo parlor is in Port Angelus and near the mall I was wondering if…?" I started to ask.

"I would go so Alice doesn't hold you hostage in a department store…sure sounds great!" Edward's velvet voice said.

"hows Jasper?" I asked.

"Comatose…late night spying…he'll probably sleep the day away." Edward said. I snickered.

"Well we're leaving right now." I said as Alice and I headed out the door.

"I'll be waiting." Edward said

My breath was taken away when we pulled into his driveway. That was the way I felt whenever I saw Edward. My favorite smile spread across his face as he entered the car. I rested my head against his shoulder and smiled. He pushed a lock of hair back and I got Goosebumps from the electricity that passed between us. I daydreamed about sharing a dorm in college…living together. My thoughts were broken by Alice singing chapel of love.

_"Spring is here _  
_The sky is blue _  
_(whoa-whoa-whoa) _  
_Birds all sing _  
_As if they knew _  
_Today's the day _  
_We'll say I do _  
_And we'll never be lonely anymore _  
_Because we're_

_Goin' to the chapel and we're _  
_Gonna get married _  
_Goin' to the chapel and we're _  
_Gonna get married _  
_Gee, I really love you and we're _  
_Gonna get married _  
_Goin' to the chapel of love_

_Bells will ring _  
_The sun will shine _  
_(whoa-whoa-whoa) _  
_I'll be his and _  
_He'll be mine _  
_We'll love until _  
_The end of time_

_And we'll never be lonely anymore_  
_Because we're_

_Goin' to the chapel and we're_  
_Gonna get married_  
_Goin' to the chapel and we're_  
_Gonna get married_  
_Gee, I really love you and we're_  
_Gonna get married_  
_Goin' to the chapel of love "_

Alice sang obnoxiously. we looked at her.

"What I love this song …I want it to be the song that me and my husband have our first dance to!" Alice said happily. Only Alice.

"ugh I havent felt this excited since getting my Gucci tattoo…I so cant wait for this!" Alice said as we pulled into the parking lot a while later.

"I want _A+J _with this date and _forever friends_ in a heart necklace tattoo!" Alice said pointing to the exact design she wanted. The man, Edward and I all flashed looks. God she was hell bent on making Jasper look like one of her girlfriends or something.

"Um is one of the parties a man?" the artist asked.

"Yes."

"Then might I suggest you get rid of the friends part…sometimes life changes and you might regret putting that there." The man said. Edward looked at me…he knew enough to know Alice wasn't that subtle.

"What…she was going to put _A+J=BFFL_ on her back…poor Jasper doesn't need that!" I said. I swore Edward shook with restrained laughter.

"boy I hope Jasper never sees it…then again it might give him the courage to ask her out." Edward said. As we sat down we struck up a conversation with a tattoo artist that seemed to have a free block.

"So who ever the other half is on her tattoo…is that her boyfriend?" The guy asked.

"he wishes…but no their just friends for now." Edward said.

"ouchhhhhhhhhhhh how could Jazzy do this to his entire back….owwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Alice was screaming.

"So I have some free time…any of you want one…pass up the time? She's probably going to be a while!" The man said pointing towards where Alice was screaming.

"I'm fine." I said.

"What about you?" the artist asked Edward.

"well I might as well join the club…after all everyone's getting stuff dedicated to everybody else!" Edward said smiling and walking up to the wall. He settled on one that looked kind of like mine but more masculine and it was going to be in the same location. The only difference was that his had brown eyes peeping out from the side. He paid the man and they went into the back.

"YEAH EDWARD…OUCH WATCH WHERE YOU STICK THAT!" Alice screamed from a booth. I picked up a magazine and read. Because of the detailing Edward actually finished before Alice. I rested my head on his shoulder again and he traced the edges of my tattoo which sent shivers up my spine. I looked up into his eyes and our lips were about to meet. That was when Alice finally graced us with her presence.

All done…look it…isn't it nice!" Alice said interrupting. She ripped off the bandage and showed us the heart necklace tattoo. I was shocked…she actually didn't try to change it behind our backs. Well she probably liked the way it looked.

"Doesn't it look just like a tiffanies necklace!" Alice beamed…yep definitely liked the look.

"Oh it looks great…and I think Jasper will love it!" I said. Correction…I know Jasper will love it…he might take a different meaning from it then you but he will definitely love it.

"oh he definitely will!" Edward said agreeing with me. As soon as we could we left…we wanted to beat Charlie home. Alice practically threw me out of the car when we reached Edward's house.

"Relax…I'll tell dad your spending the night at Angela's again…we're just gonna be checking our flight information tonight anyways ( Charlie took the liberty of booking our flights while we were away…including Edward and Jaspers …Alice told me before we left that she threatened to cut his hair off if he didn't do it…and then said "Arent I such a great sister!")

"HAVE FUN!…I'LL SNEAK OUT IN A BIT TO DROP YOUR STUFF OFF!" Alice shouted as the truck peeled out of the driveway. At that we went inside. Jasper was sitting down with a latte in hand and staring at the picture of Alice's new tattoo with pure joy. The man was definitely in love.


	27. Emmetts new roommate

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 27

BPV

The next few weeks flew by really fast. Before we knew it we were boarding the plane to New York. We lucked out that Emmett accidentally booked his flight for a later time then us so Jasper got at least one plane ride with out Emmett disturbing him. Edward and I did crossword puzzles together and Jasper listened to music. Alice talked about the outfits that she wanted to wear to the first days of classes and how she wanted to host a dorm party already. No one had told her yet that Jasper was her new roommate and fortunately for us she had never thought to recheck the list . That meant though we had to listen to her babble on about how wonderful it was that we were going to be rooming together. I felt bad that she was so excited about something that wasn't gonna come to pass. It was at that point that Jasper promised to give her a Danish that he had brought at the airport while we were waiting if she shut up. She promptly shut up. The silence didn't last though as she picked up a cosmo.

"not uh…that shouldn't be in the "looks good on anyone" column no one could pull that style off!" Alice said snubbing her nose.

"Ooh love the leather jacket though…I'll have order that online…and I have the perfect bag to go with that blue blouse and leather pencil skirt!" Alice was going on. I could smell the smoke of her brain going into overdrive.

"Jasper!" Edward and I said in that warning tone.

"I know…Alice give me the magazine…give the magazine Alice…lets not cause a scene…ooh look it…I think that lady is wearing a dressy top and sweats!" Jasper said trying to divert Alice's attention.

"ooh fashion emergency!…where?" Alice said scanning the isles while Jasper grabbed the magazines off her tray.

"Oh no fun!" Alice whined when she realized what happened. I passed her a sketch pad I had brought along and she started to draw an outfit that she had wanted to design.

"Jasper this would look great on you!" Alice said shoving the picture in Jasper's face.

"you think?" Jasper asked.

"Oh yes…its your color and everything!" Alice said. We could see her hand slip under Jasper's chair. Jasper caught it before it was too late.

" I'm not falling for that one!" Jasper said shoving her hand away. She looked really bummed out.

"No fun Jasper!" Alice sighed. She resolved herself to looking out the window…I don't know why…there's not much to see but clouds when your like 35,000 feet in the sky. Edward wrapped his arm around me and we watched the in flight movie that was playing.

"So how are we going to get to the campus from the airport…limo or taxi?" Alice asked.

"Actually our cousin Rosalie is gonna meet us at the gate." Edward said.

"Oh so we're finally gonna meet the woman behind the legend?" I said playfully.

"Yep…her flight got in yesterday…she stayed overnight at a hotel because she's going to be in the same dorm building as us." Edward said.

"Ooh so new potential Barbie doll that I can dress up!" Alice cooed.

"Oh you wouldn't say that if you saw her Alice…lets just say that she's not the type of girl that appreciates others telling her what to wear." Jasper said.

"Oh well as long as she's not a walking talking fashion disaster I can deal!" Alice said but I swear I saw a slight frown spread across her face.

"Sir something to drink?" The flight attendant asked. Jasper passed his and Alice's fake id's and got them small nips of rum.

"Yum thanks Jazzy!" Alice said clearing the bottle. I had a funny feeling that this was going to be like the return trip home from Italy.

""You know I think we should chill a little on the drinking…we don't want what happened on the last flight to happen again!" Jasper said.

"You know your right Jasper…that wasn't really fun at all." Alice sighed remembering what she barely remembered. There was then a bing that signaled the cockpit had an announcement.

"Ladies and Gentlemen…this is your captain speaking…we're gonna be hitting some turbulence in about a minute…fasten your seatbelts…its gonna get bad!" The captain said. Edward and I looked at each other.

"Arent they supposed to say 'your gonna be in for a bumpy ride?'" I asked nervously. I didn't like the way they said "its gonna get bad!"

"on second thought I'll take a cosmo and Jazzy will take some of the strongest liquor you have!" Alice said grabbing the flight attendant again. The drinks were in their hand almost immediately. The plane started to shake violently. The lights started flickering and the flight attendants ran to their seats. We shut our trays immediately. Jasper and Alice's drinks were shaking in their hands. We looked as luggage flew out of the over head compartments. At that point I knew that this was not going to be the typical turbulence.

"OH SHIT THAT'S NOT GOOD!" Jasper said as we watched one of them whip out rosary beads. The plane dropped so fast that the masks fell from the ceiling.

"AHHH WE'RE GONNA DIE…JASPER GRAB THE DRINK CART!" Alice shouted as the cart flew down the isle. Jasper managed to grab a few more nips of rum and a Heineken. If I wasn't freaked out of my mind I would of found that funny.

"Thanks I need this!" Alice said downing a nip in two seconds flat. I grabbed Edwards hand and held it tight.

"I LOVE YOU!" Edward and I shouted at the same time to each other. At this time it felt like we were almost in a nose dive and we were still falling. At this point the whole plane was screaming

"ALICE…IF WE LIVE …WOULD YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?" Jasper shouted.

"WHAT?" Alice asked. She didn't hear over the panicked screams of the other passengers. It was at this point that the plane finally righted itself. I looked to see the ground was probably only 100 feet below us.

"never mind.!" Jasper said.

"No seriously what did you say?" Alice asked.

"I said nothing…god I could so go for some southern comfort right now…too bad its one of the only alcohols that this plane doesn't carry!" Jasper said downing another nip.

"Want some?" Jasper asked shoving a bottle between me and Edward.

"ask me when my stomach isn't in my throat!" I said as nausea from the fall went into full swing but I managed to keep everything down. I could tell by the smell that at least a few other passengers weren't as fortunate .At this point the plane started to rise again.

"You know we can never have a good flight can we…either its got something to do with Emmett or the plane almost crashes!" Jasper groaned.

We were never so glad when that plane landed. The cabin actually erupted in cheers when the plane's wheel touched earth. We grabbed our stuff before anyone could kick it out of the isle and exited the plane. Some passengers took off to the waiting paramedics while the rest of us went about our business. Alice and Jasper took off to the magazine stands.

"EDWARD?" A voice from behind us shouted. I turned to see this stunningly beautiful girl walk up to us. Please let this be cousin Rosalie!

"Ooh come here baby cousin…I haven't seen you in a while!" She said ecstatic . Oh thank god!

"Rosalie…Jasper and I are only a month younger then you!" Edward said turning around laughing. She then caught sight of me.

"well you don't look like his last girlfriend…but don't make me eat my words." Rosalie said very maternally. I felt my hand slightly shake.

"Rosalie that was rude…you didn't even introduce yourself!" Edward growled.

"Oh I'm sorry…its just that I couldn't stand that bitch!" Rosalie said to me apologetically. Hates Tanya…common interest. Maybe we could get along. It was then that I saw a flash of blonde hair and high heels.

"OMG IS THAT TIFFANIES EARRINGS AND GUCCI SUNGLASSES!" Alice shrieked running at us like a bat out of hell.

"You must be Alice…I've heard a lot about you!" Rosalie said as she, Edward, and I all looked at Jasper who was staring at his feet and moving a foot in circles.

"So have I…and from what I've heard we're going to be the best of friends…seriously we're going to hit up Gucci together…your going to have to show me the rack you got those glasses off of…I want a pair!" Alice was talking at like the speed of light.

"My your…energetic!" Rosalie said. Edward and I looked at Jasper who pointed to the nearest coffee shop and to the empty coffee cup that had " turbo" written on it in Alice's hand. I shook my head.

"So how was your flight?" Rosalie asked.

"Well see the plane with all the fire engines next to it…that was our flight." Edward said pointing to our plane.

"Oh my god what happened?" Rosalie asked concerned. Jasper made a downward gesture with his hand.

"Oh that sucks." Rosalie said.

"So does anyone know my roommate…it said he was from Forks…his name is Emmett McCarthy…I figured that since it's a small town you guys might know him?" Rosalie asked.

"Oh we know Emmett." All of us said. Emmett was going to get his dream come true.

It took us a few minutes to get from the air port to the dorms. The more I talked to Rosalie in the car the more I liked her. She seemed like a pretty cool person if you didn't cross her. From what I could tell I think she seemed to like me too. I mean she still seemed guarded but her tone of voice seemed to be warming up. I think given time we could really get along. Edward, Rose, Jasper and I checked in while Alice went to get something to eat. We were heading towards the dorms when she gave her name. As Edward was inserting the key to our room Alice caught up with us.

"Bella why are you going in there…this is our room duh!" Alice said pointing to her and Jasper's room. Jasper was looking for his key. Rosalie was looking at us from her door…which was across the hall from ours.

"Alice…Edward and I were talking a little while back and we thought well since we were going to be in each other's dorms anyways that we would just dorm together." I said.

"What?…then who's my roommate?" Alice asked shocked. Seriously she should of rechecked that list. Jasper waived and gave a weak smile.

"OMG BFFL…WE'RE ROOMIES?" Alice shrieked happily. I took that as her giving her blessing. A snicker escaped my lips as Edward and I carried our stuff inside and got set up. Alice happily dropped off our sheets for us since she had divided the boys from the girls and had taken both with her. I looked into his sparkling green eyes and couldn't believe that this was happening. It didn't feel real. We then looked at each other's schedules. We were right near each other and our classes began and ended at the same time…giving us optimum time to be together. I smiled at the thought. As we stepped out to get a better look at the dorms we saw Emmett walking down the hallway. Considering I had just seen Rosalie heading in the area of the bathrooms I don't think she was in her dorm.

"hey what up guys…looks like we're all stuck together…snug as a bug in a rug!" Emmett said. I swore to god Emmett McCarthy would follow me around for the rest of my life. I could go to the ends of the earth and he would still find me.

"so Emmett have you met your roommate yet?" Edward asked.

"No…all I know is that she's a girl. She better not be a nerd…I mean I better not get my hopes up and think she's hot cuz I know that probably wont happen…but a guy can dream!" Emmett said. Oh Emmett wont need to dream when he gets a load of Rosalie. It was then that Rosalie came out of the bathroom.

"Oh cousin Eddie…I need your help …I have this huge suit case in my car and I cant get it in…could either you or Jasper bring it in?" Rosalie asked.

"Who's the hottie?" Rosalie asked looking at Emmett. Emmett gulped and a goofy grin crossed his face.

"Emmett meet cousin Rosalie…your new roommate!" Edward said.

"Damn are you serious…is this some kind of a cruel joke!" Emmett said shocked. Rosalie looked at him weird.

"I mean I always imagined you hot…but guess I didn't do you justice!" Emmett said hungrily staring at Rosalie.

"well I imagined you as a hick…what with your name being Emmett in all so I guess we're even there." Rosalie said. Jasper was right…she was going to eat him alive.

"What's wrong with Emmett?" Emmett asked.

"Oh nothing …its just more fitting of an old southern gentlemen like my great grandfather." Rosalie said.

"You had a great grandfather named Emmett? COOL!" Emmett said. Only Emmett would think that's cool.

"So are you single…or is there some long distance relationship thing going on?" Emmett asked hopeful.

"single for now…and you?" Rosalie asked.

"Not for long!" Emmett mumbled.

"What was that?" Rosalie asked not catching what he said.

"Oh I said me too!" Emmett said.

"Well if you'll excuse me I have to go unpack some things…start to get settled." Rosalie said walking into her room.

"dude…she's HOTT!" Emmett exclaimed once she was out of ear shot.

"Edward you never told me your cousin was hot!" Emmett continued on.

"because she's my cousin and I would never look at her as hot!" Edward growled.

"I knew I should of crashed your family's Christmas party…damn missing out on that for all this time…oh well at least my roommate's hot…no more dreaming for me!" Emmett said happily.

"Emmett that's my cousin…you hurt her and me and you have problems!" Edward warned.

"Don't worry…she'll be eating out of Mr. stud muffin's hands in a month or two…oh Rosalie what bed do you want me to have?" Emmett called walking into his dorm. Edward and I just looked at each other shocked. We ran into Jasper who was at a vending machine right after.

"Emmett met Rosalie." Edward said.

"How did it go?" Jasper asked.

"Well better then I thought…but she's gonna be hard core on his ass I can already tell…said she thought he was going to be a hick right to his face." Edward said. Jasper nodded.

"Yeah that's a bomb ready to explode." Jasper said.

"Too bad we're right near them…we're going to be the innocent victims that suffer from the fallout." Jasper continued on. It was then that we heard "UGH I AM NOT PUTTING THAT IN MY APARTMENT EMMETT…I DON'T CARE IF ITS OF JENNA JAMESON…SHE'S STILL NAKED!" from Rose and Emmett's room.

"yep definitely going to get fucked over here. Thank god Alice taught me some massage techniques that the nail people taught her…it will calm Rosalie down. " Jasper said. After a little while of talking Jasper and Edward went to get Rosalie's suitcase. As I was heading back Alice stepped out of no where.

"alright we need to talk battle plans since I cant get access to your face everyday…come with me!" Alice said dragging me into her room. I could already see interior design sketches hanging up on her walls.

"alright I have Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays all free plus weekends…and you have exactly my days off…and Edward does too…well I'll just have to drag you out and lock my door…see Jasper didn't exactly follow the schedule I laid out for him and he took Tuesdays and Thursdays off in addition to weekends…so it looks like I am by myself in here every other day of the week minus weekends…what's Eddie gonna do…he cant get the extra key when Jasper's in class!" Alice said smiling evilly. I had a funny feeling that she thought about this for at least a few hours.

"Okay." I said. I knew that either way I would be sitting in Alice's makeup haven so why bother fighting it.


	28. Happy Halloween

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 28

BPV

Time flew by really fast. Well they say time flies by when your having fun and we were having a blast. Being roommates with Edward was the best decision I ever made in my life. Before we knew it Halloween was here. This was Alice's favorite holiday outside of Black Friday, Christmas, and the week after Christmas. Being that Halloween was on one of our days off Alice kidnapped me mid afternoon. Jasper was sitting there already dressed up. At first I thought he was trying to clone his brother and then I noticed the matching beach theme that both Alice and Jasper had going on…oh no she made him a living Ken doll. Seeing Jasper with bronze hair made me realize how much he did look like Edward…the only differences were the shape of the eye and the even smile.

"Malibu Barbie strikes again…looks like I'm not going to be the only victim of her insanity!" Jasper said. She must of gotten to him on his way back from class.

"I'm lucky I don't have any classes tonight…she would of forced me to miss them." Jasper said eating a hot pocket.

"alright nuff chit chat…I need to work on my master piece!" Alice said dragging me away. She threw me on to her makeup stand where I saw a set of fangs sitting there. I turned as Alice came out wielding councilor like a knife. When she finished my makeup it looked extremely seductive. She popped the fangs in my mouth and smiled.

"You know…its kind of creepy how good you would look as a vampire…you know Emmett's dumb…you should scare the shit out of him…a little revenge for what he did to you in Forks!" Alice said. She then whipped out a bag that read "Sexy Vampiress" on it. The dress was thigh length, skin tight and low cut. It was black with little bits of red in it. Alice gave a thumbs up.

" your gonna see some action tonight girl…I know its not garlic but this will protect you!" Alice said holding up a condom that had a picture of what looked like a little kids drawing of count Dracula on it. "Trick or treat" was scowled on the bottom of the picture in Alice's handwriting.

"Alice!" I said.

"What? You are going to get a treat…but it's going to be better then candy!" Alice said. Alice really was sick

"I don't know what to say. I said. It was then that Edward finally got into the dorm.

"What the…?" Edward gasped getting a load of Jasper.

"I know doesn't he look just like Malibu Ken!" Alice said to Edward.

"one problem Alice…did any ken doll have your face on his back?" Edward said.

"oh that's okay…we'll be unique…and Jasper can always wear his Hawaiian shirt over it!" Alice said .

"Ooh modern vampire…very sheik…you know I had a uh feeling that you'd dress that way…wait till you see what your date looks like!" Alice said. I then turned around. When I saw him I almost fainted…he looked so good. I smiled and he lightly chucked then smiled in return. We were wearing the same style fangs.

"did you guys know that there's a huge vampire craze going on in the city right now…every store I went into had capes and plastic chompers…I've never seen so much vampire apparel in my life. I was actually considering buying garlic and wrapping it around my neck when I was buying my own costume." Alice said. It was then that Emmett came in dressed as a 4:20 clock. Above the zero was a badly sewn Velcro strap. We all looked at him.

"What Rose is a law student…she knows what 4:20 stands for…I had to cover it up some how!" Emmett said. He slapped a 1 poorly on. Rosalie wasn't stupid…she would see right through that easily. It was then that he got a load of our costumes.

"OMG VAMPIRES…I HEARD THERE WAS ONE IN THIS DORM…YOU GUYS GOT ATTACKED…DON'T EAT ME!" Emmett said petrified.

"You idiot it's a costume!" Alice laughed. Emmett calmed down.

"Ready guys…the party's already started!" Rosalie called walking in wearing a depression era dress. She looked like she stepped out of a history book.

"Rosalie…looking sweet…what are you…your grandmothers doll?" Emmett asked a little snappishly. Looks like they were fighting again.

"Emmett…a clock…real original…such imagination there!" Rosalie snapped back.

"hey at least I bought my costume…I didn't have to borrow it from Grandma!" Emmett spat

"yeah well in the end I spent less money then you…which means more money in my pocket and no phone calls to mommy begging for a money wire…what do you have to say to that Emmett McCarthy!" Rosalie growled. Emmett stood there with his mouth hanging open like an idiot.

"Exactly…no comeback…nothing to say now huh Emmett!" Rosalie said.

"Where were you when I was in high school?" I asked amazed. Rosalie snickered. Rosalie then went back to her room for her purse.

"I swear to god… she doesn't let me do anything…"don't do this Emmett…don't do that!" I don't care how hot she is….she makes me want to put my fist through a god damn _wall!_ " Emmett said taking out a flask and following Rosalie out.

"Not that's what I call sexual frustration…I cant wait till they finally do it…when they have sex its going to be like BAM! I'll have to find my video camera!" Alice exclaimed.

"Eww Alice that's disgusting!" I said. Edward looked like he was trying so hard not to laugh.

It was then that we went to where the party was. It was already busting with people and everyone was all dressed up. It would only be Halloween when you see clowns talking to dearth Vader who was chomping on a fake eyeball. We hung back while Alice and Jasper got food and while Rose and Emmett tried to out do each other in getting people to hit on them. I would of bet on Rosalie but there seemed to be a disproportionate amount of blonde hoes walking around who were attracted to Emmett like a fly to a light. They were actually neck and neck. I could see them throwing daggers at each other as they tried to one-up the other. After about a half hour of this I saw daggers being shot at us from one corner of the room. It was then that we all met back up.

"Hey why are those people giving us dirty looks?" I asked. We did nothing wrong. As I studied them closer I noted that they were dressed in gothic apparel. They looked like they were hissing at us.

"Oh they're all in one of my classes…that's how they dress all the time. They believe that they are actual vampires…that they are apart of some celebrated killer vampire coven. From the whispers I hear when they walk in everyone thinks that they all took acid together and had an extremely bad trip…call themselves the Volutri guard…see the boyish looking man…his name is Alec…yeah I got a paper cut once and he asked if he could suck my blood…I know gross right!" Rosalie said shaking her head. It was then that the small blonde girl stood up and headed over to us.

"Ut oh…here comes bitchy Jane!" Rosalie said rolling her eyes. The girl stopped short two feet away from us. Her eyes were a weird color…almost crimson. Wondered how much those contacts cost.

"So you think you can make fun of us ey…well the Volturi guard will not stand for mockery…you better watch your backs…we never sleep!" The girl said.

"A. if you never slept as you claim then you'd probably be dead a long time ago, B. you fed that rederic to me three times already and I'm still alive and C. if you really were part of a vampire coven wouldn't you disguise yourself better…I mean look it your dressed how everyone imagines vampires to dress…not too conspicuous huh!" Rosalie growled.

"Watch your tongue little Rosalie…your blood is smelling very appealing right now …I might just snap when you least expect it…and that goes for you too brown eyed copy cat!" The girl spat at me and Rose.

"you touch me or her(Rosalie pointed at me) and the only blood you'll be tasting is the stuff coming out of your nose!" Rosalie spat. The girl sniffed around Rosalie

"EW get the fuck away you little freak!" Rosalie howled. The girl then went back to her group.

"They obviously suffer from some kind of schizophrenia…or maybe your classmates were right and someone gave them LSD and told them that they were vampires…which can also lead to schizophrenia." Jasper said. Edward held me close against his chest.

"Ooh I want to know what they're drinking!" Alice said pointing to a group of people taking shots of some green liquid. They looked really trashed.

"Excuse me what is that?" Alice asked as one of them walked by her.

"its called 'the incredible hulk' its hypnotic and Hennessey…its really good!" the man said.

"Ooh lets try some!" Alice said dragging Jasper to where the people were taking shots.

"your sister's nuts!" Rosalie said sipping on her dry martini. We grabbed some chips and then went out onto the dance floor. I saw a bunch of girls eyeing Edward out. I was about to throw them the stink eye when Rosalie did that honor for me…I was going to have to thank her one day for that. Rosalie smiled brightly at me.

"What do you say we retire early?" Edward asked me. His eyes twinkled.

"I say okay…say the word and we're gone." I said as a smile spread across both of our faces. Our lips then met. I don't know how we did it but we managed to make it up the stairs. Passion consumed the both of us.

Two hours later we were blissfully laying together in bed when everything started to shake. As our pencil holder flew off the shelf Edward and I grabbed our clothes. Thinking that there was something wrong with the building and we would have to leave Edward and I prepared to evacuate. It was then that we could hear screaming from the room next door and realized the reason for the noise.

"YEAH JASPER YEAH…RIGHT THERE!" Alice was shouting. Edward and I were looking at each other shocked.

"Finally…its about time they got together." I sighed. This was so embarrassing in many ways.

"!" Alice roared. Okay ew!

"YEAH JASPER YEAH…GET IT ON LITTLE DOGGIE!" Alice shouted some more. This was not my sister…this was not my sister. Edward held me against his chest looking grossed out. It was then that Emmett came walking in still dressed in his clock costume.

"Man how can you stand it…I have these in ( he pointed to his ear plugs) and I still can hear her!" Emmett shouted over Alice's screams.

" SAY MY NAME JASPER…SAY MY NAME…SAY IT!" Alice shouted.

"ALLIE!" Jasper shouted. I heard gagging coming from other dorms.

"Man how can you listen to this…he's my cousin and I'm grossed out…I don't know how you guys are dealing!" Rosalie said walking in with a slightly repulsed look on her face. A picture on our wall slanted to the side from the vibrations.

"GIDDY UP LITTLE HORSEY…YEA HAW!" Alice shouted followed by a whipping sound.

"Thank god your not like that!" Edward said looking down and smiling at me.

"at least you guys were at least respectful of others when you guys first hooked up…not shouting about what you were doing so that the entire house could hear…unlike other people!" Emmett sighed

"GO JAZZY GO…YEAH JASPER WAHOO!" Alice's voice cut in. There was more whipping sounds.

"UGH JJJJAAAAASSSSSSPPPPERRR!" Alice roared some more.

"Well this is probably the result of their repressed sexual feelings towards each other…combine with the fact that Alice hasn't seen some action in a long time…I think they just exploded." I said and Edward nodded in agreement

" YEAH JAZZY…UGH !" Alice screeched the loudest she ever did. A glass that we had on the night stand actually shattered.

"ouch damn it!" Edward screamed. My ears were ringing. Thank god this wasn't a half hour ago…it would have been a complete turn off. The sucky part was we couldn't escape…you could probably hear Alice for at least five miles away.

Three hours later we thought it was over. Everything quieted down and the shaking stopped. Relief spread across everyone's faces. That relief soon turned to horror though.

"YOU'VE BEEN A NAUGHTY BOY JASPER CULLEN…AND DEPUTY ALICE IS HERE TO ARREST YOU WITH HER RHINESTONE STUDDED HANDCUFFS!" Alice shouted as we heard this clinking sound.

"Oh my god do they have a problem or something?" Rosalie asked shocked.

"AND HERE'S YOUR PUNISHMENT YOU BAD BAD MAN!" Alice said as we heard what sounded like wood hitting rubber.

"ooff…that sounded like it hurt!" Emmett winced.

"Bella I know I've said it before but I'll say it again…your sister's sick!" Edward said.

"SLAP ME JASPER SLAP ME!" Alice shouted. We heard what sounded like a light smack.

"HARDER…SLAP ME HARDER!" Alice shouted.

"ugh that is so wrong!" I said grossed out.

"ALLLLLIIIIIICEEE!" Jasper moaned. Everyone in the room shuttered. I didn't know how I was going to look them in the eye next time I saw them.

"OOH LOOK IT WHAT I HAVE YOU SEXY MAN YOU!" Alice roared as we heard loud snapping sounds. I didn't even want to know what that was about.

"COMMON LITTLE JASPER COME ON!" Alice was screaming. That was followed by a massive amount of "YES'S" from the both of them…but mostly from Alice. I thought my walls were going to crack soon.

" has Alice always been like this?" Rosalie asked.

"yes." I answered.

"Alice was always the expressive one." I moaned.

" RIDE THAT PONY JASPER RIDE IT!" Alice cut in and unknowingly offering evidence to support what I had to say.

"YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Alice roared.


	29. Snowflakes

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 29

BPV

I ran into Alice an hour later when I was heading towards the bathroom. She practically knocked me down in the hallway in the attempt to get at me. A huge smile spread across her face.

"Bella guess what…Jasper and I got together!" Alice said happily and sounding horse.

"I know…we all know…you practically announced to the entire world what you were doing…I'm surprised dad didn't hear…and he's on the west coast!" I said.

"Oh chill out Bella…your exaggerating!" Alice said. Just then a group of people walked around the corner and gave her dirty looks.

"Ew what are _you_ looking at…haven't you ever heard an innocent couple making love before!" Alice said glaring at the people. They snubbed their noses and walked into their rooms.

"Honestly I don't get what the big deal is…we were just doing what everyone else in this building does with their boyfriends and girlfriends!" Alice said.

"Alice the whole god damn hallway heard you two…even I'm not that loud when I do it…and I'm sure neither is Rose or anyone else for that matter! You need to chill with the vocalizations…there was things you said that none of us needed to know. I could hear in my room…and I don't share a wall with you…I thought you two were going to practice autoerotic affixation !" Emmett said coming up from behind her. The hallway burst out in applause and laughter. Alice turned beet red.

"Oh shut up Emmett!" Alice said extremely embarrassed.

"What …just saying…maybe you need to chill out a little yourself Alice…you know and not scream what your doing to the entire world…seriously I didn't need the visual!" Emmett said still grossed out.

"Whatever whatever…it wasn't that bad and you all know it…what Jazzy and I did was what everyone else does and you all know it…we're just a more open couple!" Alice said. I wouldn't call it open.

"Open? Try more sexually perverse!" Emmett laughed walking away.

"like he should be talking…he made love to Kate…that's like making love to a boy!" Alice said

"Alice he is right though…if that was any other couple you would be grossed out yourself…and don't tell me you wouldn't cuz I know for a fact you would be!" I said.

"whatever…all that matters is that me and Jazzy had a good time right baby!" Alice said to Jasper who had just walked up behind her.

"So what are you guys a couple…I think I have the right to know if I should invest in ear plugs!" I asked.

"maybe!" Alice blushed.

"Alright alright we are!" Alice burst.

"Remember babe…I signed us up for that parapsychology testing …it will be our first date!" Jasper smiled and walked away.

"Ooh unique first date…I love it!" Alice beamed. I didn't think they should of really considered it a first date…after all they were like practically together this whole time.

"Ooh he's so cute…my jazz jazz!" Alice said walking away. I then went into the bathroom to take my shower. The windows had a little bit of frost on them which meant it was cold out. Well at least the heaters were going to be turned on tonight. I turned on the water and let the heat relax me. The smell of strawberries filled the air as I ran the shampoo through my hair. I got out and headed into my room and put my pj's on . I snuggled into Edward's arms. I awoke early the next afternoon to find him gone. I looked out the window and sighed…it looked like a storm was on the horizon and from the feel of it…that meant snow. There was a single sunflower sitting on the bed with a red ribbon tied to it. There was a note attached.

__

Central park…tonight…E.

He really could be so adorable sometimes. I smiled and sniffed the flower. I wondered where he went considering it was Saturday and we had weekends off. I brushed it off as him running an errand or something. I then turned on my computer and spent the day doing some homework and check my face book. I looked at the pictures that Alice had posted from the goodbye party again. A snicker escaped my lips as the picture of Edward's fan club appeared on the screen. Even after all this time the looks on their faces made me giggle a little. Alice really was nuts. I read through the thirty comments with ease under the picture of Jasper spilling the sangria on Tanya. Most of them thought it was great that someone did that to her in public. Others laughed at how Alice jumped up on the table.

"go Jasper!" one read.

"Alice great shot!" after I read this one I clicked off. It was then that there was a knock on the door.

APV.

Jasper and I had walked down to the department hosting the testing together. We gave our names and were handed a huge questionnaire to fill out. I looked down and was amazed at all the questions they had.

"Do you feel like you know what others are thinking?" the first question read. I checked off no. I would kill to have that power…then I could see what other's really think of my designs.

"Do you consider yourself clairvoyant-the ability to accurately predict future events that come to pass?" another question read. Definitely…check check check I thought as I checked off yes.

"do you feel the emotions of those around you and do others get a calming sense around you…CHECK!" Jasper said checking off the one asking about empathic abilities . I smiled…though my Jazzy felt how I felt about him…he respected my boundaries…he was so cute!(a/n this happened around California time)

"if you checked yes to the clairvoyant question…would you say your very accurate, accurate, not very accurate, or not accurate at all?" I checked off the very accurate box. Truth was I may of missed a few things …but all of my feelings and such turned out accurate 100% of the time.

"Alice Swan…come with us!" a very warm girl called as she opened the door. Her clothes seemed very fashionable. I would have to ask her where she got them. I looked at Jasper.

"Can he come with me?" I asked.

"Is he part of the study?" the lady asked me.

"Yes" I said.

"then no…I'm sorry. Someone will probably be getting him in a few seconds. Now if you'll come with me you two will be reunited in a few minutes. We just need to evaluate you…you know get more information." The lady said. I nodded and looked at Jasper.

"I'll tell you about it when we get out of here." I smiled. Jasper waived me on. I gave a thumbs up and went with the lady.

" so where did you get that jacket…I love it!" I exclaimed looking at the lady's leather jacket. I wanted it.

"Oh a little boutique in soho." The lady answered. I would have to scout it out. She then dropped me off in a room with three old geezers. Fabulous! They quickly looked down at a clip board.

"Okay Alice tell me what number I am thinking of?" The center man asked. I felt confused. I couldn't read minds!

"Um I think you have the wrong person!" I said handing them the diary of my predictions that I had brought along and my papers.

"Oh you're the clairvoyant …sorry our mistake!" they said going through my paperwork.

"So Alice…how would you describe your gift…is it just feelings or do you actually have visions?" The center man asked again.

"Generally I get feelings…rarely I get visions but those are becoming more frequent…I don't like it because people told me that I look up at the ceiling and get all glossy eyed. I feel like I look freaky." I said.

"well you seem to be at the age when that power grows from what we know…if your already having visions then that part of your gift will probably take over your feelings with in the year and you will probably be gifted for the rest of your life." a researcher said.

"So your telling me that I could be stuck like this for the rest of my life?" I said annoyed and making a mock vision face.

"I'm so sorry…but yes. Now do you mind if we attach these to your head. We need to check your brain waves." the center man asked holding up electrodes. Normally I would of adamantly refused but if it helped them out.

"Alright just hide it under my part." I said as they hooked my head up to the machine. I felt like a guinea pig.

"Oww watch where you stick that thing…I don't want to be bald you know!" I said as they pinched off a lock of hair.

"Sorry miss." The man said as they stuck another on my forehead.

"So Alice…can you force a vision or do they just come to you?" a researcher asked,

"They just come to me…frankly I hate it…I have no warning…especially when I get them while shopping!" I said.

"Well we're working on a medication just for that reason…your not the only one to complain…that way you can just go into another room or run out of the store before you get one." the man said. Just then I was hit with the most powerful vision ever.

__

I was walking down the isle and I was extremely excited. Beautiful music danced through the air and I was surrounded by beautiful flowers. I couldn't believe that I was getting married…that had to be it…there was no way I would feel this happy otherwise. I looked around…obviously I planned everything…it had my special touch to it.I then realized where I was…a banquet hall in Seattle that Violet had designed. I looked down to see I was wearing a dark purple gown…looked like I wasn't going to go the traditional route there. All I felt was extreme joy…I couldn't believe this. I then got a load of my bare left hand and the music changed to "here comes the bride". what the fuck…who's wedding was this? I then turned around …no…no fucking way…who was Bella marrying? I then turned my head back down the isle to see Jasper waiving from the best mans spot. Hum…free Porsche…this could definitely work out! I then fully studied what I was wearing…a maid of honor dress. Yes yes yes hell fucking yes! I always wanted to be someone's maid of honor! I looked to see Emmett standing behind the alter…must have been his attempt to get one last joke in before he couldn't make fun of her any more. I then caught the piece of bling that was on Charlie's wrist…since when did my dad own a Rolex? He couldn't even afford one?

_"I'm inn the moneyy…I'm inn the moneyy!" Charlie was singing after he dropped Bella off. Charlie then explained to a relative how he invested in some stocks that miraculously had gone up and now he was a billionaire. I memorized what one's he said and then he also mentioned something about hitting the lottery. Well that explained why Bella's dress looked like Vera Wang. The material's must have been really expensive. As I turned to ask Rosalie the date my vision changed. I was sitting in a park with a news paper in my hand. The date read today which meant that this was sometime in the near future. I looked down and saw that I was dressed like a hobo…huh I must have had to dig through Bella's closet for some reason. I looked to see Jasper waiving at me from a tree…since when could Jasper climb trees? It was then that I heard Bella's voice. I looked to see her dressed in a white fitted pea coat , jeans, white snow boots, and a matching white hat with a little puff over it. I must of dressed her up! She was heading towards Edward who was sitting on a bench and wearing the black Armani suit that I had just bought for him a few days ago. I heard the beautiful proposal with my own ears and felt that excitement well up inside of me again as she answered. I looked as the first flakes fell from the sky…judging from the weather forecast I had just seen this must have been tonight! The romantic in me was or should I say will be forcing tears to flow from my eyes…how friggen cute! I secretly munched on some popcorn as I watched the rest unfold. Thank god I'm going to think to bring this…this was like a romance movie…and it was all in my head!_

I came to to find the examiners staring at me with very excited looks on their faces and video cameras in their hand.

"Oh my god we've never had a test subject have this extreme attack of clairvoyance before…you're a first…this is totally amazing!" a researcher exclaimed.

"Tell us what did you see?" another asked with his pen to his paper.

"We know you had a vision…your brain waives were all over the place!" a researcher said holding up my EEG…which actually spelt "WEDDING" in the time frame that I was out…huh I always wondered what they looked like when I had an attack.

"I have to go!" I said making for the door. But the damn people blocked it.

"Hold your horses…we need more tests!" the center guy said.

"Out of my way…I promise…I'll be back tomorrow first thing in the morning…I just need to get out of here right now!" I said shoving the men out of the way. They seemed shocked that some one of my size had that much strength. I ran down the hallway looking in every room for Jasper. I saw Jane the freak in one room claiming to electrocute anyone she gave a certain smile to. They were trying to get her to demonstrate but it wasn't working too well. That kid Alec was in the room next to her trying to knock the senses out of the group studying him. I swore I saw one mouth "delusional!" to his colleague. I shook my head. Poor kid never stood a chance! It was then I heard Jasper crying from down the hall. They were trying to get him to channel some girl who had just broke up with her boyfriend…from how hard Jasper was sobbing I guess she thought he was "the one". the only reason why I know all this was because Jasper was crying about the feeling of a broken heart and he used the words "she hurts for him so bad!"

"I feel your pain…literarly!" Jasper sobbed even harder.

"Here's a tissue Mr. Cullen." I heard an older male voice say…were the only researchers here old geezers? When I was about two doors down from him the sobbing stopped.

"Alice is on her way…I feel her presence and she seems ecstatic about something…oh how I love her bubbliness…she always makes me feel so happy. I wonder what's got her this excited though?" Jasper said switching from sobbing to pure happiness. I then busted down the door.

"JASPER…COMMON…WE HAVE TO LEAVE!" I barked. Jasper stood up shocked and the researchers looked at the both of us with blatant looks of shock.

"Alice…what's going on?" Jasper asked.

"I'll explain in a little bit…right now we need to run!" I said as we bolted out of the examining room. Just then the old people that examined me popped out of nowhere.

"You cant leave…we need more testing." The center guy said. Jasper's group blocked us from behind.

"I told you that I'll- well we'll be back first thing in the morning…now out of my way…I read the contract and it stated that we had the power to leave whenever we wanted…that we couldn't be forced to stay…now if your going to go back on your word then we wont be coming back at all…but its your choice!" I snarled. Jasper nodded in agreement. The examiners stood there still blocking the way out…but from the look on their faces I knew that if I pushed them out of the way that they wouldn't fight back so Jasper and I shoved our way through.

"Excuse you…get out of my way!" I said shoving myself between two guys. After we got through Jasper and I broke out into a dead run. An alarm sounded and soon there was pandemonium as like a massive amount of people who dressed and looked like 80 year olds ran after us. I could see this place was in dire need of a makeover…which I will inform them of when I return in the morning.

"Ugh…like seriously they should get a team of fashion designers, makeup artists, and hair dressers in there like stat…they just made Charlie look like he was hip and down with the kids…and we all know my father doesn't have the best fashion sense in the world!" I growled once we busted out of the department and were sitting in the middle of a court yard.

"Alice are you going to explain why the hell we just did that?" Jasper asked. I walked two fingers across the palm of my other hand and plunged them down off the side. Jasper looked at me confused.

"What are you trying to say?" Jasper asked. I then pointed to my left ring finger. I actually saw it click in Jasper's head.

"You saw someone getting married?…is it us?" Jasper asked oddly hopeful…I mean we just officially got together yesterday.

"No its not us." I said.

"Then who?" Jasper asked. I took a picture out of my wallet of Bella half asleep in Edward's arms on a park bench in Milan ( I took it with out their knowledge) and shoved it in Jasper's face. The strange look that crossed Jasper's face was hysterical.

"How…he held out?…must have been afraid since he knew I'm in your ear…but still I think I have the right to know if I'm getting a sister in law!" Jasper sputtered out happily.

"I thought so too which is why I told you…. isn't it soo exciting…he's going to ask her tonight…and judging by the position of the sun that means we better get a crackin…I already know what I'm going to dress Bella in…but your going to have to get him to wear this…don't worry about getting access…everything Bella's going to need is in our room…and I can grab the clothes she's going to wear quickly since I already know which outfit to pick out!" I said writing down the suit I saw. I then told Jasper to give me a few minutes to get Bella into our dorm…kicking and screaming if I had to.

Jasper nodded and I took off.

"Since when could you climb trees?" I called over my shoulder.

"Why what did you see?" Jasper asked paranoid.

"Oh nothing!" I shouted smiling before his form disappeared. Once I reached her door I knocked. Bella opened the door .

BPV

I opened the door to find Alice smiling creepily at me. I always hated when she did that…it freaked me out. What was she even doing here…she was still supposed to be in testing. I swore the blonde hair made that smile even creepier. I looked as she went through my closet faster at the speed of sound and grabbed an outfit and boots.

"So Bella I understand that your going on a date tonight and I have a feeling that something special is going to happen …well this would be perfect!" Alice said holding a white fitted pea coat , jeans, white snow boots, and a matching white hat with a little puff over it.

"Alice how did you know?" I asked. I didn't even see Alice today to tell her about my date.

"it's a gift…now lets get moving…I still have to do your makeup and hair!" Alice said shoving me out the door and into her room.

"Now I have a uh feeling that something special is going to happen tonight so lets get you all glammed up!" Alice said throwing me into her makeup stand.

"Now Bella this is only going to hurt for a second!" Alice said holding up a hot wax strip. Horror movie music echoed in from Emmett's room at that point adding to the menacing nature of everything. That creepy smile spread across her face again.

"alright Alice would you stop doing that…your scaring the shit out of me!" I finally spoke up.

"What?" Alice asked innocently. A commotion started to go on in the other room

"the smile thing!" I said.

"Your going to ask me not to smile?" Alice asked with what sounded like a slight mock offence. Her face then straightened out. It sounded like a scuffle was going on in our room.

"Hold on!" Alice said darting out and whipping a random stun gun out of her purse. A second after she went in there there was a loud thud and Alice came walking back in looking like she did a job well done. After about five minutes the door slammed shut and there was the sound of footfalls walking away. About 15 minutes later ( Alice must of drank coffee or something because she did everything at lightning speed) she was finished.

"All done…have a good date!" Alice said sending me out the door.

When I reached the park Edward was sitting there in all his god like glory. In his hand were a bouquet of white and purple freesia's and peach colored roses. He looked up at me and smiled. Across the way was a homeless woman reading a newspaper but I swear I saw an eye peer over a couple of times. Edward moved over and I sat down. He handed me the bouquet with that crooked smile still spread across his face.

"Bella I've been thinking. I know that we haven't been dating for a long time and that you don't believe in getting married at a young age but I think that when your with your soul mate it really shouldn't matter how old you are or how long you've been dating for. When your with the one your supposed to spend the rest of your life with those inconsequential things shouldn't matter as long as your together. I know that we're meant to be…that you are my soul mate. So I'm asking you Bella Swan…would you please marry me?" Edward asked getting down on one knee. I was shocked. He was right …I didn't believe in getting married at such a young age. But he was my soul mate….my one and only and I knew it. And he was also right about the rest of it. So I guess I already knew the answer to the question before he asked…in fact I always knew on some level. I looked as a jogger that could of easily been Jasper ran by. The only reason I couldn't be sure was because he was wearing a face warmer.

"Yes…I will!" I smiled. Our lips then met and he slipped the ring on. It felt like there was no one there but us. The first flake of the first snow fall fell on my nose. It seemed early for snow. It was kind of ironic that I was getting married early and the first snowfall was early but it seemed to add to the special moment. The homeless lady threw the paper down and squealed. She took off the scarf to reveal…Alice's face.

"YAY…ITS ABOUT TIME…LOOKS LIKE I WON THE BET JASPER…I SAID THAT SHE'D SAY YES IMMEDIATELY…THAT HE WOULDN'T HAVE TO TALK HER IN TO IT!" Alice called. The jogger pulled his face mask down to reveal Jasper's face.

"Ugh I can't breath with this thing on…alright Alice…we get it…you won…now when would you like your free manicure and pedicure?" Jasper asked annoyed.

"Ooh when the time is right…now lets see it…I want to see the bling!" Alice ordered pointing to my left hand.

"5.5 ct diamond center with 2 surrounding .5 ct diamonds with excellent clarity…me likes but how did you know her size?" Alice asked.

"what do you mean how did I know her size? …from you! Alice remember that conversation we had about what ring you wanted Jasper to get you for his next gift…you were babbling on so much that it flew out of your mouth…Jasper was right…you do have diarrhea of the mouth." Edward said.

"Oh I remember…oops!" Alice said turning beet red.

"Oh well that's okay…that information went to good use…so girl we need to talk like now…come here!" Alice said pulling me away.

"I cant believe this….your actually getting married…at all. When I saw this I could hardly believe it…I mean when that vision hit you should of seen my face. I actually almost cried. And in the first snow fall too….its perfect. " Alice went on.

"Vision?" I asked shocked

"oops!" Alice said

"Did you tell mom and dad yet?" Alice asked.

"Alice it just happened…unlike you who knew for god knows for how long I just found out I was engaged!" I said.

"oh well. We can do that later…much later…right now its time to revel in the fact that your getting a husband and I'm getting a brother in law!" Alice squealed.

"Jazzy…you know what this means…we're going to share siblings…we're going to practically be related!" Alice squealed over to Jasper. From the look on his face I could tell that Jasper wasn't too thrilled at the fact that he was in love with someone who considered herself related to him…and not through their own marriage.

"So what's it like to be engaged…I want to know?" Alice hounded.

"its great actually…picture the happiest moment you had in your childhood and times that by like 100 and that's how I feel right now." I said

"EEE! Sounds wonderful…I cant wait till I get engaged…we're gonna have to make a girls day to celebrate…shopping, lunch, and makeovers…and I know where they carry this home spa kit…I'll have to buy it…how about next weekend?" Alice was chirping. To tell the truth she looked like the one that got engaged.

"honestly this is like a dream year for us…New York, Milan, L.A…and now your engaged to your dream guy and I finally found my dream guy…all we need now is some ice cream to top it all off!" Alice said. Just then an ice cream truck drove by.

"Alice did you see that coming?" I asked shocked.

"Maybe!" Alice said looking off.

"I love being psychic!" Alice said running off to the ice cream truck.

"Your sister's weird!" Edward walking over as Alice said to the vendor "I'll have a banana split, two scoops of chocolate in a waffle cone, a scope of mint in a cup, and three scoops of your special Sgt. Strawberry in the biggest cone you can find!" Alice ordered for everyone. I guess I knew who that last one was for. Alice passed everyone's ice cream to them one at a time.

"Geez Alice you didn't have to get it this big…I can barely hold it!" Jasper said staring at the skyscraper that was now in his hand.

" oh well your going to eat it all anyways!" Alice said.

"guess this means I can kiss dinner and breakfast tomorrow goodbye!" Jasper said digging in

"To Edward and Bella…may their marriage last…cheers!" Alice said digging in.

"Now there's so much to do…set a date, find a place, dresses, color schemes, flowers, catering, cakes…so much to do!" Alice said whipping out a cell phone.

"Violet…it's Alice…I need that number for that banquet hall that we helped put together a couple of months ago….oh you own that now…perfect…I'm planning a wedding and that place would be perfect for it… 18 months wont do!…this Christmas…well it's a little rushed but I can do it…we'll take that one…I'm sure the bride and groom will love having a Christmas wedding…I can see it now…an Alice Swan production…Thank you so much!" Alice said hanging up the phone.

"Alice …you booked my wedding for _less than_ two months from now…are you insane?" I gasped.

"Well I couldn't have you wait almost two years…besides the less time the better…makes it more fun to pick things out when your in a rush…which means me…you…material store tomorrow. I already had my eye on this ivory white material…it would look good as a wedding dress…its just beautiful!" Alice sang.

"we're going to be sewn at the hip for this entire process!" Alice exclaimed. I groaned. Alice was going to try and live vicariously through me…which meant she was going to take over the whole thing. I could already see the disaster coming now!

"You might as well ask her now buddy…Alice in wedding mania for the next month…if she's planning my wedding she might as well plan her own as well." I whispered in Jasper's ear. He shifted uncomfortably.

"We just started going out Bella…I want to have a little more time with her before she goes into crazy bridezilla!" Jasper mumbled.

"are you kidding me…after she's done planning this wedding she's going to hound you until that rock's on her finger." I said

"and at that time I will do what I have to…but for now I'm just going to sit back and watch the show." Jasper countered. I shook my head. That poor bastard was going to be put through hell. A carriage pulled up and Edward wrapped his arm around me.

"You kids have fun…come along Jazzy…I have to get out of these clothes…and then I figured we could hit up the shopping district…I saw a jacket that I want and my source said it was down there. Maybe while we're out I could show you the new ring that you could get me for um Christmas!" Alice said dragging Jasper away. She was already starting up…somebody wanted a shiny new engagement ring.

"poor bastard…he should of just asked her tonight…he said that they had just started going out…he was obsessively stalking Alice for two years…I mean its not like they just met up…anyways its not like she'd say no…if she was dragging him off to look at rings…I highly doubt she meant it just as a Christmas gift." Edward said.

"I know…I told him to…now he's going to pay." I said solemnly.

"well maybe he'll learn." Edward said

"So are you ready to be the future Mrs. Cullen?" Edward asked playfully.

"are you ready to be stuck with me forever?" I joked back. He then playfully pecked my cheek and we turned to walk towards the carriage. Edward helped me get in and then paid the driver. After he got in we took a tour around the city. I rested my head against his shoulder as the snow lightly fell.


	30. Moneyy!

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 30

BPV.

The next morning I awoke in my angel's arms. I couldn't believe that he was mine…forever. That he chose me…out of everyone. We snuggled for a little bit and then went to check facebook There were a couple of things of interest on there. I found out Charlie deleted his face book account…I had a feeling that my mother had something to do with that. As I was checking the newsfeed section I saw Alice's last two statuses.

"JASPER AND I FINALLY GOT TOGETHER!" the older one read. She had like 50 comments already posted under it and she had just put it up late last night.

"Finally?" one read.

"I thought you guys were already together!" another read.

"What do you mean finally…I thought you guys were dating?" Someone wrote.

"the superlative said that you were already a couple…what's going on?" someone else wrote. The rest of the comments were just like this. I then got a look at the new thing she posted 5 minutes ago.

"MEET MY SOON TO BE BROTHER IN LAW J J J J J J !" Read the status. Underneath was a picture of Edward smiling. There was a surprising amount of people liking it.

"You have got to be kidding me…is this a joke…it has to be!" Lauren Mallory wrote.

"sorry to burst your bubble honey…no joke…its for real…I witnessed everything for my self!" Alice wrote underneath.

"Looks like we have a new president of the Edward Cullen fan club!" a fan club member wrote. Oh hell no!

"Thank god its not Tanya…I don't know what we'd do if it was that bitch!" another member wrote.

"OMG EDWARD'S OFF THE MARKET FOREVER…NOOOOOOOOO! FML!" Jessica Stanley wrote. I could only picture when she saw that.

"don't worry Jess…it wont last…I give it a year!" the surgical Barbie doll that went by the name of Tanya wrote. Oh to be a fly on the wall and see her actual reaction.

"Ooh sounds like someone's jealous…green is definitely not your color!" a new message from Alice popped up. Alice then came walking in with her lap top in hand.

"Shut up you fake blonde elf…go fuck yourself…your so annoying…your like the size of a flea!" Tanya wrote back.

"FUCK YOU TANYA…WE ALL KNOW YOU DYE YOUR HAIR TOO…YOU HAVE NO ROOM CALLING PEOPLE FAKE BLONDES…AND ALLIE MAYBE SMALL BUT AT LEAST SHE ISN'T AN AMAZON UNLIKE YOU!" Jasper retaliated.

"Ugh my hair is all natural!" Tanya said.

"That's funny because I remember you with cherry wood colored hair in elementary and middle school…and in that picture your roots are starting to show!" Alice sent.

"oh and I'm annoying…I didn't track down my ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend in another country and beg him to take me back…which he didn't obviously…I didn't go to their house and make a complete fool out of myself which also failed…and I didn't send face book and skype messages to them saying "TAKE ME BACK EDDIEKINS!"…but really I am the annoying one?…wow!" Alice sent.

"Bitch!" Alice snorted

"want to call me a flea…too bad she's not in New York…I'd kick her ass all over again!" Alice roared

"and 'I give it a year'…wow…just because she's not getting her generic dream doesn't mean she has to be rude like that…like seriously…shows how deep her feelings actually went!" Alice ranted on. Edward wrapped his arm around me.

"Alright down to business…lets talk matrimony…dresses…well I already know what I'm wearing so lets work with that…tuxes…are going to look fabulous…flowers…have to pick them out when we get there…cake and food…I know a company out there…I'll make phone calls…just one thing…Chicken or pork roast?" Alice asked.

"make it people's choice." I said.

"Even better!" Alice smiled.

"now lets go…we have to get fabric for dresses and linings!" Alice said dragging me out the door.

"so much to do…so little time…I cant believe we're getting married!" Alice shrieked running down the hallway. I looked at her.

"I mean your…your getting married…its your day!" Alice said correcting herself. Alice always had that habit of including herself in major events that had to do with me. Like when I got my NYU acceptance letter-Alice's arrived a week later…something about a clerical screw up- Alice screamed "I cant believe we're going to New York together!". well okay that could have been a vision…but she still did it.

" ugh…our wedding's going to be beautiful…and your not going to trip down the isle…I love having visions and knowing how things are going to turn out…when no one else does…I'm going to be wearing the most beautiful dress I ever made…your going to look stunning obviously…if I have a say in it and from what I saw I did…its going to be the wedding of our dreams!" Alice said in a dream like gaze.

"Alice!" I said.

"I did it again didn't I…I mean your wedding…its all about you…and me to a certain extent. Its all about we…you and me…bride and maid of honor!" Alice was going on. I wanted to punch her right now.

"What about Edward?" I asked with my eyes narrowing.

"Oh no one cares about him…and they care even less about the best man who in your case is Jasper!" Alice said

"no all eyes are going to be on us…people are going to be whispering about the beautiful maid of honor walking down the isle…and then your going to make your grand entrance!" Alice said. More like they're going to be wondering why the flower girl is walking down the isle a head of the bride.

"you know I've been waiting for this time ever since we first met!" Alice said happily.

"Alice we first met when we were five!" I said shocked.

"It never hurts to look a head…now for your something blue I think I have the perfect Gucci necklace.

"Alice!" I said.

"you'll thank me later!…now I saw this thing that would look great for my veil!" Alice said.

"Veil?" I asked.

"Oh common Bells did you think that you were the one that was going to have all the fun!" Alice said.

"Well I am the one getting married." I said.

"Still that doesn't mean you should hold out on the rest of us. It will add originality to the ceremony which is totally in right now!" Alice said. More like it will make Alice feel more like she was the bride and not the maid of honor.

"Alice your so weird." I said.

"I prefer the term unique." Alice said. It was then that we reached the fabric store. Alice immediately flew over to a shiny deep purple color that looked like it was soft.

"I found my dress!" Alice shouted. Oh god. I wandered over to a dark blue for Rosalie. She was going to be a bridesmaid.

"PERFECT…PICKS UP ROSALIE'S BLONDE HAIR NICELY…I TRAINED YOU WELL GRASSHOPPER!" Alice said shoving me out of the way and grabbing the cloth out of my hand.

"Alright I would like to order linens with these colors…for 40 tables…this is for a wedding!" Alice said running to the front desk. The lady looked at her shocked. She took out a pad and wrote it down. On top of that Alice brought like a thousand feet of each material plus enough of an ivory material to make three ballroom style gowns. Our bill was astronomical. Alice whipped out her card.

"Put it all on here!" Alice said smiling. The lady looked at her as if she was nuts.

"Trust me…I'll be able to pay it off." Alice said. What the hell was she talking about…she wasn't loaded. I looked at Alice.

"Bella just go with it !" Alice said smiling. I shook my head.

"I'm inn the wedding…I'm in the wedding!" Alice sang as we walked out of the store. Her fingers actually moved in the air.

"I love this material…its so soft yet so warm…its perfect for a winter wedding!" Alice said.

"now shoes!" Alice said darting off in the direction of Gucci. I looked at her.

"What…I am not walking down the isle in anything less then Gucci…its not about comfort anyways…its about style….and height is in right now anyways!" Alice said. I shook my head.

" oh common…I saw a pair that would match the color of your dress perfectly…and I had my eye on this little purple bag that would match my maid of honor dress exactly!" Alice said taking off. Her credit card bill was going to be sky high this month.

I got around to calling my parents a few days later. I figured that I had to since practically everyone else in town knew. Carlisle even called Edward wanting to know if the rumors were true. Jesus we're 3,000 miles away and I still have to worry about people telling my parents things that I did. Forks was such a gossip town…like seriously it was like everyone there was a bunch of old ladies sitting around playing canasta and talking. The minute I picked up the phone to call him my phone went off.

"I'm inn the moneyy…I'm inn the money!" Charlie bellowed into the phone.

"Dad? What's going on?" I asked. It was then that Alice burst the door down singing "we're inn the moneyy…we're inn the moneyy!"

"Bells your not going to believe this…I invested in some stocks a few days ago that your sister suggested I look into…I just got a call…they somehow went sky high…2 billion dollars baby…so I automatically withdrew all of it. And then when I got off the phone with the guy I happened to look down at my lotto ticket right as they were announcing the winning numbers…I won ten million dollars…I'm inn the moneyy…I'm inn the moneyy…hahahaha! Am I lucky or what?" Charlie cackled into the phone. The room started to spin and Edward grabbed me before I could fully pass out. He looked at me concerned.

"I'll tell you in a little bit." I whispered while throwing a glare at Alice. She had something to do with this.

" Bells?" Charlie gasped into the phone.

"well dad I've got some good news of my own…Edward and I are getting married!" I said excited. "I'm inn the moneyy" grew louder. I heard the phone drop to the floor and what sounded like several thuds hitting the floor. A door opened on the other end and my mom's voice filled the phone.

"hello?" My mother asked.

"Mom?" I asked.

"Bells why is your father doing back flips and cartwheels in the kitchen while singing 'I'm inn the moneyy?' what's going on?" My mother asked.

"You don't know?" I asked.

" no I just got in…what's going on?" my mother repeated the last part.

"um Dad invested in some stock that is now worth a shit load of money…and then he hit the lottery and I'm getting married to Edward!" I said.

"How much?" my mother gasped.

"we're worth 2.01 billion baby…I'm inn the moneyy…I'm in the moneyy!" Charlie cheered in the background. I heard a loud bang and the sound of the phone clattering against the floor.

"Renee? Reneee? RENEE? Bells I have to go…I have to call your future father in law to see if he can wake your mother up!" Charlie said hanging up the phone.

"What's going on Bella?" Edward asked looking at me.

"You know how in the beginning of our relationship Emmett used to tease you about going out with a poor person…well you are now getting married to the richest girl in Forks outside of Esme, my mom and Alice." I said. I swear Edward had to pick his jaw up off the floor.

"YOU…YOU HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS…WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU SEE!" I demanded looking at Alice.

"that is for me to know and you to find out…we're rich! We're filthy stinking rich…moneyy…we're rich! We're rich! We're rich!" Alice bugged out running down the hallway. She ran smack dab into Jasper.

"Alice what's going on?" Jasper asked.

"WE'RE FILTHY STINKING RICH BABY….MONEYYYYYYYYY!" Alice roared. I didn't get why she was acting like this…I was going to be related to Carlisle…the richest doctor on the Olympic peninsula. So it didn't seem like a big deal to me. Edward wrapped his arm around me. He kissed my neck.

" your taking this well!" Edward said smiling at me.

"well I think that it shouldn't matter how much your worth…its what's on the inside that counts." I said. My favorite smile spread wider across his face.

"obviously Alice doesn't hold that value." Edward said as Alice sang another round of "We're inn the moneyy" and cackled. A few minutes later we got a text from Alice to check face book.

"TO THOSE OF YOU THAT SAID I'D NEVER BE RICH…IN YOUR FACE…I HAVE ARRIVED….I'M RICH BABY…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! J J J J J J J J J J J J J !" Alice wrote. Jasper liked her status. There was a bunch of "What?" comments and one " Jasper finally got the balls to propose?".

"What do you mean by that…I just asked her out the other day…why does everyone say that?" Jasper wrote in response. I shook my head. Alice was only seeing dollar signs right now.

"Money…Gucci…mansion…prada…limos!" Alice said running back into our room and hyperventilating. Jasper followed her in with a bag.

"Breath Allie breath!" he said shoving the bag over her face. After a few minutes Alice started to calm down.

"I knew it…cant wait…summering in Charlie's mega mansion…butlers, maids, my own sewing room with closets the size of apartments…we're inn the moneyy!" Alice sang the last part. I was still in shock over it all. Alice now had a practically indefinite supply of cash to plan my wedding with…the thought made me shutter.

"This is going to be great…now I have the money to buy some of the things I saw in my vision of your wedding!" Alice chirped my worst nightmare.

"Alice don't go overboard!" I warned.

"Oh Bella I know how much flash is too much…I'll be fine!" Alice said blowing me off. The thing was I was afraid that the first part of that statement wasn't true. It was then that Rosalie and Emmett came walking in.

"Guess what Emmett McCarthy…remember how you used to call me the wanna be rich girl?" Alice asked flaunting it.

"Alice we know…I saw your face book." Emmett groaned. He was eating his words now.

"I'm inn the moneyy…I'm inn the moneyy!" Alice chorkled.

"Forgive her….this has been her dream ever since she was born." I said.

"Damn straight it was!" Alice said.


	31. changes

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 31

BPV.

The next few weeks flew by fast. The Edward Cullen Fan Club sent me a honorary shirt saying " The Real Mrs. Edward Cullen" in the same colors as their own. I guessed that was their way of excepting the engagement. Alice went wedding crazy…picking out everything down to the last fork by herself. She called the florist, caterers, and bakers and ordered everything over the phone…something about realizing that if we waited until we went back then nothing would be ready. She was going full throttle for this .I think if possible she was even worse then when she planned our graduation party. I swore that if she could she would of booked a high wire act.

" what do you mean you cant bring real snow in…then buy a shit load of the fake stuff…it has to be perfect!" Alice snarled hanging up the phone.

"Alice relax…the wedding is just a day…the marriage is what lasts…besides YOUR not the one getting married!" I said.

"well that may be true…but we're going to remember that day for the rest of our lives…its our wedding!" Alice said. I had given up at this point on correcting her.

"Aren't you excited about this…tomorrow we're leaving to go home…and then in one week from now we'll be walking down the isle…on Christmas no less…best Christmas ever!" Alice said excited.

"And our dresses?" I asked.

"All dresses are sewn…and all tuxes are bought and in my closet…I even made everyone's tie from the extra fabric I had and I made you a blouse that's already in your suitcase!" Alice said happily.

"So lets go over the plan again!" Alice continued on. I groaned. Alice had concocted this plan the minute she booked the banquet hall.

"So we leave for home tomorrow…and we come back here on the 26th…you already have the hotel booked (Edward and I were taking out honeymoon the week after new years) then late on the thirtieth we walk to time square and camp out and on the 31st we sit there all day and wait till the ball drops ( Alice had wanted to do this ever since she was a little kid…now that her stuff is there she wasn't going to blow that chance.)" I said

"And don't forget getting married on the 25th!" Alice said smiling.

"like I would forget my own wedding!" I cackled looking up into Edward's smoldering green eyes. Our lips met. Five minutes later Alice coughed.

"I'm still here you know!" Alice said. Not breaking away from him I threw a look at Alice.

"I'm just going to…yeah!" Alice said looking awkward and leaving.

"Finally she's gone!" Edward said with his lips about centimeter away from mine. I closed the gap again. The electrical current that flowed between us blew up into an explosion of passion.

The next morning I awoke in Edward's arms again. I looked over as his crooked smile was plastered over his sleeping face…if possible making him look more god like. I wondered what I did in my life to deserve him. His eyes fluttered open and the smile on his face grew. I laid next to him and he wrapped his arm's around me. I rested my head against him. Then Alice burst down the door.

"hurry up we're going to miss our flight…oh! Sorry…I should of knocked!" Alice said shielding her eyes. There was a flash of blonde hair and Rosalie was dragging Alice out.

"Come along Alice…give them their space…I need some advice on what to wear anyways!" Rosalie said winking at us and dragging Alice away. Alice didn't look too thrilled. Edward and I didn't budge for the next five minutes. We then slowly made our way to the showers. Edward gave me my privacy as I changed into what I was going to wear today. Twenty minutes later we were bringing our suitcases to the car.

"lets just hope the plane doesn't almost crash again…I was still dizzy the next day!" Alice said as we got into the car.

"No you were hung over the next day…that's what you were!" Edward said.

"Nah I don't think it was that…well it could have been!" Alice denied.

Hours later the plane taxied down the runway. This flight was uneventful thank god. Charlie attacked us as we stepped off the plane.

"I CANT BELIEVE IT! I GETTING A DOCTOR AS A SON IN LAW…YOU DON'T KNOW HOW LONG I PRAYED FOR THIS!" Charlie roared happily. Carlisle who was standing next to him looked at Charlie weirdly.

"While forgive me for not being as emotional about that as he is (Carlisle said pointing at Charlie who practically had Edward splayed out on the floor) welcome to the family…we finally have the daughter we always wanted!" Carlisle said smiling warmly and shaking my hand.

"Hey you don't consider me a daughter…I'm dating your other son!" Alice sounding put out.

"Oh Alice you know that you were always part of the family….you practically designed our living room!" Carlisle said. Alice automatically lit up. As we were leaving the airport Alice brought a news paper with a seven day weather forecast.

"ooh looks like we're in for a white Christmas possibly…just like I saw…they're calling for flurries!" Alice chirped happily.

"Alice they're calling for snow on my wedding day?" I gasped.

"Yeah isn't it wonderful…it's going to go with the schematics so well…and imagine having actual snow in the wedding photographs…I wont have to place the fake stuff on you!" Alice said excited. I shook my head.

"yeah imagine that!" I said.

"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas …With every Christmas card I write …May your days be merry and bright …And may all your Christmases be white." Alice bellowed out. I could see Edward biting his lip to keep from laughing. Edward and I made plans to stay at each house every other night. Alice was staying with my parents and Jasper, Emmett and Rose, were staying with Edwards though I think Jasper was going to be doing more tree climbing. First night was with Charlie since he was practically sewing himself at the hip with Edward. It was kind of creepy to see Charlie acting like this…I thought he would actually be pissed.

"Now I found a house that's ironically next to your parent's Edward…but the move in day isn't until late next month. So we'll be staying at our old address." Charlie said

"Oh I cant wait to see our room…I missed it so much!" Alice said. I noticed Charlie started to fidget. What was that about. His nervousness grew as we approached the house. Edward and I brought our stuff upstairs while Alice sat on the couch and talked to our mom. When I got up there I noticed a barren hole where Alice's makeup stand used to be. In its place was a mirror that was the size of my thumb. God I hoped they told Alice this before she came up. Just then I heard the sounds of someone coming up the stairs.

"Hi guys!" Alice said opening the door smiling. Crap they didn't tell her. Her eyes immediately rested on the hole.

"!" Alice roared. She only called Charlie by his real name to his face when she was extremely pissed. Charlie walked up to us extremely sheepish

"WHERE IS MY STUFF!" Alice snarled. Charlie gulped.

"Well see we were running low on firewood…" Charlie said.

"_WHAT!_" Alice snarled in a cat like manner.

"Baby its not like you were going to be using it anyways…your getting a built in one at the mansion and I figured you bought new stuff!" Charlie said.

"DON'T BABY ME…I DON'T BURN DOWN YOUR FURNATURE…YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO BURN DOWN MINE…HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I BURNT YOUR COUCH DOWN CHARLIE!" Alice roared.

"RENEE!" Charlie called scared. My mother came walking up the stairs confused

"What?" My mother asked.

"Deal with Alice!" Charlie whimpered trying to escape. Alice slammed the door in front of him.

"YOUR NOT GOING ANYWHERE!" Alice roared some more.

"Alice don't speak to your father like that!" my mother said sternly.

"HE BURNED DOWN MY MAKEUP STAND…AND DIDN'T TELL ME TILL THE WEEK BEFORE MY SISTER'S WEDDING…THE WEEK MIND YOU THAT I WOULD NEED IT THE MOST!" Alice snarled and growled at the same time. My mother turned towards Charlie with a fire in her eye.

"YOU WHAT…YOU LIED TO ME…YOU TOLD ME THAT WAS A CHAIR THAT WE WERE BURNING….NOT A MAKEUP STAND!" my mother roared in a similar tone to Alice's.

"NOW WHERE DID YOU HIDE MY MAKEUP…FORK IT OVER CHARLIE…I KNOW YOU HID WHAT I LEFT BEHIND!" Alice said grabbing her assault rifle and shoving it in Charlie's face.

"well um see I thought you would have your own makeup with you…the garbage man came this morning and picked it up with the trash." Charlie said very sheepishly.

"YOU THREW OUR MAKEUP OUT!" My mother roared louder than Alice. Since she borrowed Alice's makeup she didn't have any of her own.

"**_!"_ **Alice gasped, roared, snarled and growled at the same time. I never heard a noise like it in my life. Edward held me in a protective embrace incase Alice got physical. She looked like a lioness on the prowl. Next thing we knew she was actually hanging off of Charlie's neck and scratching his face. Charlie lost his balance and they both fell on Alice's bed.

"Bella, Edward get Alice out of here…I'll deal with Charlie!" My mother said glaring evilly at him. A smirk spread across Alice's face. When we entered the kitchen Alice whipped out her cell phone.

"Rosalie…its Alice. Could you please bring me your makeup tomorrow morning? My moronic father threw mine out and burned my stand down to ashes… I thought my supply at home would be enough…I didn't know he would do this…thanks I appreciate it so much….see ya at eight!" Alice said hanging up her phone.

"Ugh now I have to go buy makeup tomorrow on top of checking on the florist and the baker and dropping by the banquet hall to give Violet the head count on who's coming…seriously thanks so much Charlie!" Alice said.

"Alice I can do some of th-" I was cut off from finishing that sentence by Alice.

"Nope nope nope…I got it covered…you'll mess up my plan!" Alice said running away.

"Bella I'll say it again…she's got issues." Edward said.

"Are you ready to deal with that as your sister in law?" I asked.

"if it means having you…yes. Besides if she marries Jasper she'll be my sister in law anyways…I cant escape her." Edward said with a light chuckle in his voice.

That week Alice was the nuttiest she's ever been ….which until now I thought could never happen. It was intensified by the fact that she crammed in the bridal shower, bachelorette party, rehersal slash rehersal dinner and the wedding all in the same week. Everything she talked about was wedding related…to the point where the crack team that she organized to help pull this off was asking if she was the bride. She was getting loopier by the day…which in a way was a good thing. Edward and I were buying her a very special maid of honor/ Christmas gift and we wanted it to be a surprise. I had to not think about it even for fear she would get a vision so for once her mindless babbling about baby's breath was a relief. She was actually so distracted that we were able to follow our plan with ease. After we got what we were looking for we went back to my house. Alice was on the phone bugging out and Rosalie was sitting on my couch shaking her head.

"Where's Emmett?" I asked her. Rosalie was planning on asking Emmett out tonight.

"back at the other house…he was on the computer when I left." Rosalie said.

"What! Tonight's the rehersal dinner…you cant back out now!…screw birthday parties…your grandmother has had 99 other birthdays surely you can miss this one!…oh alright I'll think of something!" Alice snarled hanging up the phone.

"Well we have guests showing up to a wedding with no minister…like seriously it was only seven god damn minutes of his time and he cant even do that!" Alice snarled.

"WHAT!" I gasped. I couldn't believe the guy who was supposed to officiate my wedding ceremony backed out at the last minute.

" ugh this is a disaster…everyone's already in their hotel…what do we do!" Alice said. Just then Emmett burst down the door.

"GUESS WHAT! I JUST GOT ORDAINED!" Emmett shouted happily.

"What?" Edward and I sputtered out at the same time. Alice's eyes sparkled with hope.

"I'M GOING TO BE A JUSTICE OF THE PEACE…I'M GOING TO MARRY PEOPLE…FREE BOOZE!" Emmett shouted happily.

"Emmett how would you like a bigger job then usher?" Alice asked deviously.

"What's that?" Emmett asked confused.

"Minister…you idiot." Rosalie said as if she was speaking to the mentally challenged. Great my worst nightmare come true…Emmett officiating my wedding ceremony. And we were his experimental couple to boot…even worse.

"ooh cool! But I thought you guys already had a minister?" Emmett asked.

"backed out…so want the job? I'll pay you $500 !" Alice asked hopeful

"I'll do it…but I'll do it for free…I don't exploit people…I'm not my dad…lets see the chief and Gen. old man try to chase me away now!." Emmett said shaking Alice's hand.

"DEAL! THANK GOD YOU'RE EM IMPULSIVE…YOU JUST SAVED TOMORROW!" Alice beamed.

"really thank god…we'd be so screwed if we didn't have a minister…now you two upstairs…rehearsal dinner means heavy duty make over…I've already got the perfect outfits planned out in my mind!" Alice said shooing Rose and I up the stairs.

"Edward…Emmett…we will see you guys there…you'll find _your_ outfits laid out on your beds!" Alice called from the hallway as she pushed me into the bedroom.

"God damn Charlie for throwing out my makeup stand. That puny little shit over there…you wont see the full glory of your makeover…and Charlie's stuck in the bathroom right now so the only other mirror bug enough for my liken is taken up…seriously he's _stupid_!" Alice grumbled the last part. She still didn't forgive Charlie for what he did. After Alice was done with our makeup she went over to her duffle bag.

"I think this is _perfect_ for you!" Alice said holding up a long sleeve fitted dress that was the color of Rosalie's bridesmaids dress. From the look of it Alice must of made this herself. She handed it over to me and went back to the duffle bag

"And this for you Rose!" Alice said whipping out a fire engine red thigh length dress with white down feathers around the deep plunging neckline and the bottom part of the skirt. At the waist was a black belt.

"Alice I'm not going there dressed as Santa's hoe…sorry that's not me!" Rosalie said pissed.

"Too bad Rosalie…I got a load of your luggage…you have nothing else appropriate for this…and it will get Emmett's blood boiling…your wearing it…end of story!" Alice dictated. Rosalie gulped and put it on.

The rehersal itself went well. Charlie and I only tripped once walking down the isle…a miracle for us. Then Emmett went over the basics for us.

"alright I say we're all here to witness this union…blah blah blah and a bunch of bullshit. I then ask 'who gives this woman to this man to be his lawfully wedded wife?'

"I do." Charlie said practicing his one line.

You guys say I do, exchange vows and rings…I declare you legally married…you kiss and then we're all off to eat and drink to oblivion. Alice did you get an open bar?" Emmett asked.

"Wouldn't have it any other way!" Alice answered smiling.

"I like the way you think!" Emmett said.

"Me too!" Alice said. Everyone rolled their eyes.

Moms restaurant was glad to host the rehearsal dinner but it took us a while to get there. We were lucky that they would even accommodate us considering that it was Christmas eve. The food was good and everyone seemed to be getting along. We could hear Rosalie ask Emmett out.

"You know Emmett…I've been waiting for a while…when are you going to man up and ask me to go steady…we've been casually dating for ever!" Rosalie said. Emmett looked shocked.

"I-I didn't know you wanted that…but sure…want to go steady?" Emmett asked. Rosalie nodded. Looked like Emmett finally got a normal girl for once.

A while later we decided to hand out the gifts for the wedding party. As I handed Rosalie a bag filled with bath and body works stuff I whispered "Don't feel and at what we got Alice…its that she wanted this forever…and I would have been lost with out her in this process…and its her Christmas gift as well." Rosalie nodded in understanding and I saw a glint of curiosity in her eyes. We gave Jasper very expensive cologne and Emmett a book called "1,001 jokes" which he promised not to use on me. Looking around Alice noticed that she was the only one that was empty handed.

"Where's my gift?" Alice asked annoyed.

"Its in the back." Edward said. I prayed that it was dropped off. Alice looked confused but she left the room. Edward and I followed her with everyone behind us. Alice looked down the long hallway that ended with a door. She looked and we nodded. Alice opened the door and saw the replica of Alice's car in Italy. It had a white and gold bow that was the size of the one they use in car commercials on its roof and the dealer plates read "ALLIE S" on it. Edward jingled the keys in front of her face. Her truck was currently on its way to a antique car dealership.

"Merry Christmas Alice." Edward and I said together.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP…NO FRIGGEN WAY….YOU MY MAN ARE THE BEST BROTHER IN LAW TO GRACE THIS EARTH…AND YOU BELLA I OWE YOU BIG SINCE TOMORROW YOUR GOING TO BE FINANCIALLY LINKED TO HIM…THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME!" Alice screeched happily running over to her new car.

"THIS IS JUST LIKE IT-UH THE CAR OF MY DREAMS!" Alice continued her rant. She started to smell the interior. Our parents still didn't know of the screw up yet.

"COOL ALICE…JUST LIKE OLD TIMES!" Emmett bellowed. Everyone but Alice, Jasper, Edward and I looked confused . They brushed it off.

"I looooooove you guys so much…thank you thank you thank you!" Alice said jumping up and down excited.

"So when are you and Alice exchanging gifts?" Edward asked as we both turned towards Jasper.

"New years eve…Alice said something about always wanting to open a gift in times square." Jasper said.

It was then that we left. I noticed that Alice had a weird look in her eye…like she was hiding something.

That night the boys were staying at Edward's parents house and the girls were staying at mine. Charlie was going to be the only male in his own home. I went to the television to check the forecast because I wanted to see what the weather was going to be like for tomorrow when I noticed Alice and Rose stiffen up. Alice had been acting weird all week and practically banned Edward, my parents and I from watching television here and she put Rose and Emmett in charge of blocking us from watching TV there. Since my computer had spotty internet coverage, our lap tops were in New York, and Emmett was an internet addict Alice didn't have to worry about that.

"I'm going to turn on the weather channel." I said grabbing the remote before Alice could hide it.

"Why would you want to do that….lets watch MTV!" Alice said nervously. Rosalie nodded in agreement.

"Okay…after I get the forecast!" I said turning the TV on and changing the channel. A big red box reading "WINTER STORM WARNING!" appeared on the bottom of the screen. As they got on with our local forecast they said that in addition to a winter storm warning that there was a Bilzzard watch in effect.

"I'M GETTING MARRIED IN A BLIZZARD ALICE?" I roared.

"Well you know…they say blizzard and then you only get three inches or so!" Alice said trying to defend why she didn't cancel the wedding. Just then it cut to a map of Washington state. A meteorologist was talking about the storm coming in. They were pointing to an area that extended from just north of Seattle to way past Forks and calling it the "bulls eye". They were predicting 3+ feet for that area and sustained winds at 40 mph with like no visibility. They were calling it "Seattle's storm of the century". I looked at Alice.

"What? It will go for the schematics…think about it…you'll have a true white wedding…it will look good in the photographs…and the guests are staying in a hotel that's right near it so they wont have trouble getting in!" Alice said.

"What do we do…I doubt the air port will be open before the 27th !" Rosalie moaned. As if on cue it started to snow.

"Relax we can stay here an extra day if we have to…we'll get on the first available flight…our airline does allow you to do that you know!" Alice said confident

"Alice did you ever think about how we're going to get there I mean we cant have a wedding if the bridal party cant get there?" I asked. The guys were taking Emmett's jeep there which lucky for them had all wheel drive and equipment for off roading plus snow tires. And Emmett who drove on snow covered closed roads for the fun of it. I couldn't believe it but I was actually thanking god that Emmett McCarthy was going to my wedding.

"Well the limo driver said that if the roads do close tomorrow that he would meet us at this gas station that's half way there for free!" Alice said happily.

"Did you ever consider how the hell we're going to get the gas station?" I growled.

"No I hadn't thought about that!" Alice said her voice getting small.

"guys don't worry…I think that _you two_ will have a way to get there by tomorrow!" Rosalie said knowingly. Just then we heard this weird sound in the driveway. A tow truck was dropping off a black rhinestone studded snow mobile that looked big enough for two. Charlie beamed walking down the stairs. I didn't have to wonder who this was for

"Merry Christmas Allie…I figured that it wasn't fair to you that we were spending so much on your sister's wedding so this was our way of making it up to you. It was Rosalie's idea…she tricked it out!" Charlie said.

"yeah …I thought you'd love the rhinestones…not only that but with all the modifications I added it can do about 70 mph but I would advise you only do 60 for safety reasons." Rosalie said.

"THANKYOU! BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!" Alice roared happily.

"so isn't this so exciting…you'll be in the news…my work will be in the news!" Alice continued on.

"Yeah for getting married in a blizzard…Alice you really don't think do you!" I said

"Yeah besides how are the rest of us going to get there…that snow mobile isn't big enough for all of us!" Rosalie agreed.

"Don't worry…that's what my ATV is for…I fit three people on it before…I can do it again!" Charlie added in.

"See no biggie!" Alice said.

"You know Alice I told you to tell her this…but no you said that the wedding had to go on…that you didn't want to wait for however long they postponed for…now its too late to cancel it…we're so screwed…what happens if the limo cant get to the goddamn gas station!" Rosalie moaned.

"Then we go all the way there of course…we'll stalk up on gas…this means though that we're going to have to wake up early and do hair and makeup there…we're going to be short on time!" Alice said. We went up and got the aerobed set up for Rosalie.


	32. White Wedding

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 32

BPV.

I awoke the next morning to find a foot of snow already on the ground and it wasn't stopping. I could barely see two feet out my window. Alice burst in with a facial mask on singing Christmas carols.

"merry merry merry merry merry Christmas….merry merry merry merry merry Christmas!" Alice bellowed out happily. Rosalie looked out the window and groaned.

"how are we going to get there with our dresses…they'll get ruined!" Rosalie moaned.

"Funny you should ask that Rose!" Alice said going to the closet and taking out six garment bags, three shoe boxes and three good sized backpacks. She unzipped all of the bags. Three of which contained full body snow suits . One was white with "_Bride" _written in large pink script writing on the back. Next to it was a smaller one that was hot pink with "_Maid of honor!"_ sprawled across the back in black. The third was red with _"Bridesmaid" _written in the same style and location as the other two only in gold.

"I designed them myself so that we could wear dresses under them with no worries of wrinkling. They're form fitting but they're warm enough so that you could survive in the artic outside by yourself for a month or so and not have to worry about dying from hypothermia …I figured we would need them living in two snow prone areas!" Alice said opening one of the suits to reveal a shit load of goose down and other forms of insulation sewn in a way that would keep one warm but not puff the suit out. Over them was a weird material that I guessed was meant to keep the dresses wrinkle free.

"The boys have them too…which I told them when I was confirming that the wedding was still on. Forgive the expression but hell will freeze over first before I cancel this wedding…which I told them. Its only a little snow anyways!" Alice said. As if to emphasize how much of an understatement that was the wind grew stronger and the snow picked up…if it were even possible.

"Alice you're a genius!" I exclaimed.

"Ooh and look it!" Alice said opening up one of the back packs to reveal hair care products, makeup, and a shoe box that had a high heal on it.

"We're all set!" Alice beamed.

"I knew we were going to need these when I had that second vision!" Alice said

"Second vision?" I gasped.

"Uh you know…didn't I tell you? I had a vision that we were measuring the snow…4.5 feet…Rose and I could barely make it into the house…Rosalie had to carry me through!" Alice said. I had a feeling that she was hiding something else. Alice whipped out a small wrapped gift.

"Its no Porsche but merry Christmas…its your something new!" Alice said as I unwrapped a ankle bracelet with a small letter B on it.

"and your something borrowed and blue is my Gucci necklace…and your something old is…" Alice said taking out my old locket. In it was a picture of Alice and I at the orphanage.

"it figures you'd have to get the fun wedding!" Alice exclaimed. I shook my head and didn't say anything. After that we took turns in the shower, threw sweats on and walked down to get some breakfast. Charlie was just walking in from dusting off the snow mobile and ATV. He was wearing a black full body snow suit with _"F.O.B"_ written on the back in gold.

"You are psychotic!" Charlie said pointing at Alice.

"Me…why me?" Alice asked looking innocently.

"You are the one who decided to host a wedding in an epic blizzard…not only do we have to get ready for the wedding but we might not be able to get back…I just got a call that the national guard is coming in Alice…something about the predictions jumping up from three feet to four…and I'm not going to be home to plow out my driveway…our roof could collapse Alice!" Charlie growled.

" ooh…well don't worry dad I'm sure the roof will be fine…lets eat!" Alice said as we made our way to the kitchen. We had scrambled eggs and hot chocolate for breakfast. Alice hummed the winter wonderland tune.

"In the meadow we can build a snowman, Then pretend that he is Parson Brown He'll say: Are you married? We'll say: No man, but you can do the job When you're in town.!" Alice sang happily as we walked back up the stairs to get our dresses on. My mother was going to wear a silver dress that she got in a department store. Alice thought she could design better.

" mom seriously when I get married I'm designing your dress!" Alice said as we put on knee highs.

"Alice dear you'll be too busy planning your own wedding and designing dresses for your 50 + bridesmaids to be making mine. Besides I do know what looks good on me!" my mother said. Alice grumbled something like "We'll see about that." everyone helped me into my dress. It was old fashioned but with an Alice like modern flare.

"I should work for Vera Wang…I mean doesn't that look just like one!" Alice said pointing at my dress.

"ugh I totally feel weird with a dress on and no make up or my hair done up. But if we do our hair and makeup now they're going to get screwed up under the helmets ( Charlie brought them in from Rose's car) and if we waited to put the dresses on there we'd be soo late!" Alice said as we placed the snow gear on. Everyones snow boots matched their snow suits except for Alice's which matched the words on her back. Rhinestones shined from her feet. We then placed our helmets. Mine was a dark blue color that was very pretty. My mother wore one of Charlie's extras. Rosalie wore a graphic designed one. Alice wore a black rhinestone studded one…what a shock there.

"Look it I coordinate even when I don't mean to…my helmet, my shoes, my snow mobile…they all go with my outfit!" Alice chirped happily.

"Hold on…since the photographer is meeting us there I want pictures!" Alice said grabbing her camera and snapping pictures like she was a paparazzi or something. When we got out I could barely see a thing.

"Dad get a picture!" Alice said tossing Charlie the camera and dragging me in front of the snow mobile. Though I don't know how he did it Charlie managed to get a picture that actually showed us.

"Rose get in here…your family too!" I said pulling her next to me. Charlie snapped another picture and then we all put up the sewed in face masks that Alice installed into the suits. We looked like ski patrol.

"Alice have you ever driven one of these things before?" I asked trepidatiously as Charlie turned on the snow mobile for us.

"Once when I was trashed…but how hard can it be…I did it while drunk and I didn't crash!" Alice said. Please god don't let me die please…I want to see Edward again! Alice jumped on the snow mobile at the speed of sound. I got on behind her scared out of my mind.

"LETS GO!" Alice said pealing out of the driveway so fast that I thought the snow mobile was actually in the air. God don't let me die…I want to get married today!

"See Bella I always have your back!" Alice said as we hit a snow bank we went 7 feet in the air.

"Yeah if you don't kill me before Edward and I say 'TILL DEATH DO US PART!'" I roared as Alice took a corner so fast that we were on our side.

"Oh Bella have a little fun before you tie yourself down!" Alice said non chalantly. God please don't let me die…I want to get married…please! She then hit another snow bank and laughed psychotically. She was getting some sick thrill out of scaring me to death.

It was then that we approached a huge hill. Alice hit the accelerator and we shot straight up it and off a ramp that some little kids made. The kids ran out of the way just in the nick of time. We went sailing through the air and Alice thought it was the perfect time to take her hands off the handle bars.

"WEEEEEEEEEEE!" Alice shouted.

We flew over the road that we were supposed to land on and landed a couple hundred feet into the woods narrowly missing a tree.

"ALICE EVERGREEN TREE!" I roared as what looked like the same tree that Alice hit all those months ago appeared in our view. Alice swerved to the right avoiding it this time and pulled a u-turn.

"Lets do that again!" Alice said as we returned to the road. Charlie's ATV was already there waiting for us. Rosalie and my mom had pissed off looks on their faces. Charlie looked like he was possessed.

"ALICE…NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO PULL THOSE STUNTS …THAT IS WHAT THE BACHELORETTE PARTY IS FOR ( That was three nights ago…Alice went wild for it…lets just say I woke up with an extremely bad hangover and a bruised knee…Alice woke up in a tree in a sleeping bag with no clue as to how she got there…I had a sneaking suspicion that Jasper had something to do with it since it was a camouflage sleeping bag with the initials J.C on it). NOWS THE TIME TO BE AN ADULT!" Charlie roared. I saw Rosalie sneaking Alice's camera into her back pack

" oh quit your belly aching Charlie!" Alice said pulling back onto the road.

"What does he know… Mr. law abiding citizen aka boring…you got to have a little fun in life before you die!" Alice said going full throttle at this point.

"OOH LOOK ANOTHER HILL…READY BELLA!" Alice said as what looked like mount Everest came up.

"YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Alice shouted as we took off over the top of the hill. I heard that shuttering sound that had been going off ever since we hit that first snow bank.

" JINGLE BELLS BATMAN SMELLS ROBIN LAID AN EGG…THE BATMOBILE LOST A WHEEL AND JOKER GOT AWAY HEY!" Alice screamed at the top of her lungs. We shot past a jeep at this point. Seeing "Sports 4 eva" on the license plate I ducked down so that Edward didn't see me (his parents took another car there…they had an all wheel drive car there but it couldn't fit everyone so they just went by themselves). Alice however stood up and waived while the snow mobile was still in motion.

" ALICE GET DOWN WE'RE GOING TO CRASH!" I shouted scared. The ATV slowed down and Rose and Charlie tried to talk to them. I could see Emmett trying to look at everyone.

"DASHING THOUGH THE SNOW IN A ONE HORSE OPEN SLEIGH…ALL THE FIELDS WE GO LAUGHING ALL THE WAY HAHAHAHA…BELLS ON BOBTAILS RING MAKING SPIRITS BRIGHT OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE AND SING A SLEIGHING SONG TONIGHT…JINGLE BELLS JINGLE BELLS JINGLE ALL THE WAY OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE IN A ONE HUNDRED HORSE POWERED OPEN SNOW MO-BILE!" Alice bellowed blasting through an abandoned snow fort after sitting back down again. Snow flew everywhere obscuring our vision even more if possible. All I wanted at this point was to be in Edward's arms at this …and away from the psycho formally known as Alice.

"OUT IF MY WAY KIDDIES…TAKE YOUR SLEDS ELSE WHERE OR WATCH AS THE REAL EXTREME SPORTS ENTHUASISTS GET THINGS DONE!" Alice shouted as we approached the biggest hill of them all. The twenty five kids that were having a sledding competition jumped out of the way. The hill looked like a 90 degree angle up wards. I didn't know how the snow mobile made it up but it did and it climbed ten feet in the air to boot. I could see the Jeep stop below us. The sun roof opened slightly and I could see Emmett's eyes peering at us. He didn't say anything but a smile appeared on his face. I had a feeling that Emmett was going to be snow mobileing with Alice some time. God do not let me die…not like this!

"I should of got me one of these a long time ago…weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Alice cheered as we went flying down the road.

It was at this point that we blew past the gas station. Alice turned around and pulled in. sitting there waiting for us was the limo of Emmett's dreams…a hummer limo. He was going to be so pissed to find that out. At this point all I wanted was to be in Edward's arms. Nothing mattered but that. I sighed…only a few more hours. I'll be free from the psycho known as Alice. I just wanted to get this over with and have a drink…Alice drove me to that point. From the look of it I wasn't the only one.

"Don't you ever do that to me again…I thought you were going to kill your sister and yourself Alice…you don't think much do you!" Charlie growled as he stepped in after us.

"But we're fine!" Alice said.

"Look at your sister…she shaken up because of what you did!" Charlie growled some more . I looked to see my hand vibrating.

"Oh that's just the jitters…every bride has them…well I'm not….but I hear about it all the time on my wedding blogs!" Alice said.

"really cuz she seemed fine just before she stepped on the snow mobile of death!" Charlie said.

"That's because they just hit when she walked into the limo!" Alice said. In all actuality Alice's stunts scared the cold feet out of me. I realized that nothing was important on your wedding day as long as you lived to walk down the isle.

"that's bullshit Alice and you know it …because it just happened to hit after you pulled all of that stuff!" Rosalie said.

"Bad timing?" Alice said her voice getting smaller.

"more like bad sister!" Rosalie said.

"Besides do you want to jinx the wedding…seriously getting up on a snow mobile and waving at the groom while the bride's on the back. Your lucky the both of them ducked…or the money you spent on the wedding would of gone to _shit_…seriously some times I think your related to Emmett! Or better yet we could just turn the wedding into a funeral…we have all the food…and a minister…all you would need is a coffin!" Rosalie ranted on. Charlie nodded his head in agreement and glared at Alice.

"Like really is this hate on Alice day!" Alice spat.

"No this is hate on stupid asshole day!" Rosalie growled. Alice looked offended.

"I'm not your boyfriend you know…you cant speak to me like that!" Alice said.

"While you may not be Emmett you do act like him sometimes…just in different ways." Rosalie said. Alice huffed.

"I'm not going to respond to that…I don't want to put a damper on the wedding!" Alice said.

"I kind of think it's too late for that Alice…with the blizzard going on outside!" Rosalie said as the wind whipped the hummer limo and the snow pelted down hard. "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas" played on the radio.

"May your days be merry and bright …And may all your Christmases be white." Alice sang along with the song.

We reached the banquet hall with little time to spare. Charlie was taken by one of Alice's minion's/ designers to where the men were while Violet took us to the makeup stands. Between her and Alice everyone was done in 20 minutes. They were miracle workers.

"Well its my turn to go…remember Bella brides always smile…rejected ex girlfriends always frown!" Alice said putting her two fingers up to her face and forming a smile.

"1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4!" Alice counted as she walked down the isle. Her purple veil swished. God why did I let her wear that! She stopped in front of the photographer and posed. The music that cued my walk then started up. The minute my foot touched the isle Alice turned around. She held her finger up as if to say "wait a minute" and then started to show me modeling poses that she wanted me to do. Rosalie slapped her across the head. The minute he looked up I was captured by his green eyes. I didn't care about anything other then him. I didn't even see the design of the place…I didn't give a shit about the flowers that lined the isle , how big the cake was or even that Emmett was the minister. Nothing mattered but him. For once in our lives Charlie and I walked the distance of a room and didn't find something to trip on. The minute I reached him I was lost in his eyes.

"Psst Bella…your marrying your dream guy…and I'm with Jasper…and I'm not dead…and Emmett's dating someone normal…did you ever think this day would come?" Alice whispered. Everyone looked at her.

"Alice can we start the ceremony now!" Emmett mumbled.

"Sorry go right ahead don't let me stop you!" Alice whispered again.

"Alright so we're gathered her today to witness the union of these two soul mates. Their love has joined us together and not formed a separate family but joined two upstanding ones. Before we get on with the ceremony anyone with objections speak now or forever hold their piece?" Emmett said to the crowd. All eyes went to him except for Alice who scanned the entire crowd.

"what? I'm officiating the ceremony…I think that shows that I give my blessing! Anyways moving on…do you Shakespeare's lover take…" Emmett started up. Edward's eyes narrowed. Jasper groaned, Alice shot a death glare and Rose looked at everyone confused.

"What? It was a slip…that's what I've known her by all my life with the exception of these past few months!" Emmett said.

"lets do that over…Do you Bella take Edward to be your lawfully wedded husband…to have and to hold from this day forward…for better or worse…richer or poorer…in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?" Emmett asked

"I do!" I said confidently looking at Edward and smiling. He beamed back.

"Do you Edward take sh-Bella to be your lawfully wedded wife to have and to hold from this day forward…for better or worse, richer or poor ( We all snickered here as Charlie was whispering to a relative about how he hit it big…they told him to shut up.) in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?" Emmett asked.

"I do!" Edward said looking at me with his crooked smile growing wider.

"and now its time for the rings…will whoever has them step forward!" Emmett asked as Alice searched her bra and Jasper his pocket.

"What I would of lost it in my purse!" Alice whispered as everyone looked at her.

"Alright Edward as you place the ring on Bella's hand repeat after me ' I thee wed!'" Emmett said.

"I thee wed." Edward said sliding the ring down my finger.

"Alright Bella as you place the ring on Edward's hand repeat after me 'I thee wed!'" Emmett said.

" I thee wed!" I said placing the ring on Edward's hand. We then held hands.

"Alright you guys have declared you love for one another in front of these witnesses…by the power invested in me by .com I now pronounce you man and pancake…I mean wife…you may now kiss the bride!" Emmett declared. We shared a light but sweet kiss and then walked back down the isle. We then walked to the reception area where we were besieged by a massive amount of "congratulations". That was when we met back up with people.

"Emmett McCarthy…we do not call people names…that was rude!" Rosalie said half pissed.

"Rosalie it was an accident…besides that was nothing." I said in defense of Emmett.

"I guess your right…so I got some awesome shots of the ceremony and everything ( Rosalie took pictures with Alice's camera of Alice and I walking down the isle) who wants to see?" Rosalie asked. Alice gulped and went to go get punch.

"Alright I've been meaning to ask this since the start of the ceremony…when the hell did Alice get a snowmobile?" Edward asked looking at the picture of me and Alice at our house in front of her new toy.

"Christmas gift from Charlie…I may have made the suggestion and some modifications." Rosalie said. Alice came back as we got to a picture of us flying into the woods and Alice letting go of the handle bars.

" ALICE…YOU LET GO OF THE HANDLEBARS ON A SNOWMOBILE WHILE IT WAS AIRBORNE WITH MY WIFE AS YOUR PASSENGER! SOMEONE WHO I'LL REMIND YOU IS VERY ACCIDENT PRONE…WERE YOU _TRYING_ TO KILL HER!" Edward growled.

"I told her that!" Rosalie said.

" No…I just wanted to have some fun!" Alice defended herself

"So you launch my wife into the air and then you stand up and waive right at the jeep as you pass us by and crash into a snow wall…what exactly else did you do to Bella before the ceremony?" Edward said holding me close as we continued through the photographs. We then got to one that showed the snow mobile clearly over the Jeep.

"I knew that wasn't a bald eagle…Emmett why didn't you tell me Alice's snowmobile was over our car?" Edward asked while glaring at Alice.

"That 24 hour thingie…I didn't want to jinx the wedding…besides you already had to duck once…I figured that since my roof was tinted that if I only opened it a smidge Bella wouldn't see you and you wouldn't have to duck again." Emmett called walking over to the bar. Edward nodded.

"I don't get why your so mad…your telling me that he _didn't_ pull any donuts on the way here!" Alice said pointing at Emmett who was asking the bartender for some extra cups so he could play beer pong.

"listen could you fill up a bunch of cups with beer so we could play beer pong…a party's not a party if no one's doing that!" Emmett said to the bartender. Oh god. The bartender looked at Emmett as if he had three heads.

"I'm going stop Emmett from raking up a 10 million dollar bar bill." Rosalie said taking off.

The next half hour flew by fast. We were in the middle of eating dinner when we could hear this cracking sound which was followed by a massive amount of screaming. We looked out to see that the hotel next doors-the one that Edward and I were supposed to be staying at tonight- roof collapsed from the weight of the snow. People were running in what used to be the street. Great just great…now where were we going to stay?

"oh crap!" Alice said as if she knew this was going to happen. I turned towards her.

"You knew?" I gasped.

"I thought it was going to be the other hotel…the one down the street!" Alice said. I could hear the lie in her voice.

"Alice we had a right to know!" Edward said.

" you guys are going to have to stay with us tonight looks like." Charlie said. I groaned internally. Looked like we weren't going to be consummating the marriage tonight. I then saw Alice from behind Charlie hold up a box of ear plugs and point to Charlie's back.

"I'll take you guys there…we'll have to drop Charlie and Alice off anyways to get their Snowmobile and ATV so I can take you guys all the way there." Emmett offered up.

" Well I can drive Bella half-" Alice was cut off by Charlie and Edward saying "absolutely not!"

"No Emmett's car will be fine enough Alice." Edward said correcting himself.

"Like really the snowmobile thing wasn't as bad as it was made out to be!" Alice huffed. After that we stood up to have the father daughter/ mother son dances. Lets just say I wasn't the only one with two left feet in my family so Charlie and I just swayed around. I heard someone that sounded suspiciously like Alice mumble "So getting a choreographer for my wedding!" Charlie then let me go into Edward's arms. I looked into Edwards Smokey eyes and were lost in them again. He wrapped his arm around me and held me close as we walked off the dance floor. As we sat back down Rosalie' family came over to talk to us. Before they reached us I looked at her.

"Where's your brother?" I moaned. Rosalie's brother…Edward's cousin Ross was such an asshole. He looked like Edward's clone with blonde hair but that was where it stopped. He obviously didn't get the family trait for niceness or kindness. We had met him a few weeks into the school year. Put it this way…even Emmett thought he was an ass.

"Studying abroad." Rosalie said smiling. Even she hated him.

"we couldn't get the exact location so we just didn't send him an invite!" Alice said evilly. It was then that the family reached us. Rosalie's two sisters standing next to their parents. One bared a huge resemblance to Rosalie while the other oddly enough looked a hell of a lot like Alice. Edward said that the one that looked like Rose was named Rosland and the one that looked like Alice was named Rosaline . Actually the only difference was that Rosaline had a lighter shade of brown hair as compared to Alice's natural black color (her hair was still blonde.)Apparently the family wanted a theme to their kids names.

"Edward was Rosaline adopted?" I asked.

"Yeah…that's why they went to France this summer…to visit where she came from…wait a minute you don't think?" Edward gasped.

"I think so." I said nodding.

"you look familiar…was your name originally Mary and did you have black hair?" Rosaline asked.

"Yeah…Cecil?" Alice asked. Cecil was a girl at Alice's orphanage that she used to be friends with. For some reason Alice never got her last name.

"it is you! OMG OMG!" they shrieked together. They definitely acted related.

"So how's life been?" Alice asked

"your not going to believe this…my mother visited me last year…said I had a sister so I did some research…we're biological sisters." Rosaline slash Cecil said. Everyone looked shocked.

"So not only am I dating my brother's sister in law now I'm dating my cousin's sister…that's just weird!" Jasper said partially grossed out.

"Are you serious?" Alice asked shocked. After 20 minutes of catching up the girls exchanged numbers and promised to hang out sometime.

We were at the table explaining the reason why Emmett officiated the wedding to Grandpa Cullen when I could hear a mummer of "congratulations" from the other side of the room. I looked to see a white dress and a veil and it was not me. Tanya's face was looking out from under the veil. What a psycho…she really was persistent.

"Oh no it's the Nightmare before Christmas!" Edward groaned as Tanya started to make her way towards the wedding party table. It was at that point Alice's head turned to see what we were looking at.

" I'll handle her…no one crashes my wedd- I mean my sister's wedding!" Alice said taking off. Alice took off faster then a speeding bullet. Next thing we knew she was standing in the middle of the dance floor about a foot away from Tanya with a hand on her hip.

"Hey I'm the only one that can wear a veil outside the bride…and your definitely not the bride!" Alice called out pissed.

" really then where did I get this…huh!" Tanya said flashing her left hand in Alice's face. Two rings were sitting there and one looked like a huge fake diamond.

"Cubic zarconia and 18 ct fake gold wedding band…your not fooling anyone honey…you know you should of sprung for the real stuff if you really wanted to pull anything off!" Alice fired back. Tanya looked highly offended. She went for Alice who had her down in two second flat. scratch lines from Alice's nails were all over her face.

"Goodbye Tanya!" Alice said throwing open the door and shoving her outside. Snow flew twenty feet in the air. Alice clapped her hands and shut the door.

"distraction's over…lets get on with the show!" Alice said smiling.

We then did the cake and Edward went to throw my Gardner. All the guys in the room except for Jasper stood up and went to the dance floor. It looked suspiciously like Jasper was trying to avoid catching it but whatever. Edward tossed it into the air where it was deflected by Alice's hand-Alice pretended to be in deep conversation but I saw her eye it out as Edward threw it-and hit Jasper square in the face. In the attempt to avoid it Jasper fell out of his chair but it didn't word since it still landed on his face. I bit my lip to keep from laughing. After that it was my turn to toss the flowers. I tossed my flowers high up in the air and then heard this weird sound. I turned to see Alice in mid air and air was hissing out of her shoes…the bottom of her heels was missing. I looked to see Edward struggling not to laugh. Her hands had just grabbed on to the flowers when she hit the floor. Jasper looked shocked.

"I told you you should of just asked her when Edward asked me…this is minor compared to what she's going to do to you now!" I said to Jasper as he helped Alice off the floor. Jasper shook his head.

"Are you okay Allie?" Jasper asked Alice concerned. Alice stood up and dusted herself off.

"Just fine…nothing broken…not even a nail!" Alice said.

"Man Alice you flew…you took a hit!" Emmett whooped.


	33. the next day

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 33

BPV

After that people started trying to make their way to where ever they could stay. Emmett grabbed the car after we all zipped into our suits. Violet lent him a pair of cross country ski's and a shovel which was how he was able to get his car to the door. We had to double up and Alice had to sit in the trunk. We pulled into the parking lot of the gas station at like mid night and then we were able to get our own seats. Since we pulled up right next to both vehicles neither my parents or Alice had to walk to get to them. I was amazed at the amount of snow that was on the ground…it was going to be a miracle if the airport was even open in the morning. Emmett then drove through the whiteout. Edward held me against his chest and shot a death glare at the snow mobile.

"When I saw you not with your dad and Alice acting like that I freaked out. Just thank god your safe. If something happened…" Edward whispered in my ear.

"its okay…I'm okay!" I whispered back. As if on cue Alice's snow mobile landed in front of the car. It skidded off to the side and Emmett slammed on the brakes.

"OH SHIT…THAT WAS SICK…I WANT TO DO THAT…ALICE AND I WILL HAVE TO GO SOMETIME!" Emmett bellowed. She disappeared two feet in front of us and the ATV shot up the side. Edward kissed my forehead.

"You are never going on that thing with Alice ever again whether she's sober or otherwise!" Edward said as we saw Alice coming out of the woods again. I nodded in agreement. I didn't want to go through _that_ again.

A while later we reached the house. Opening the door up Edward looked at me. The snow was around what Alice said. I didn't know how any of us were going to walk in it.

"Well it looks like I'm going to have to carry you over more then the threshold!" Edward lightly chucked as he got out of the jeep. He then scooped me up in his arms. I hung on to his neck as he freed one arm to clear a temporary path. Everyone except for Alice had extreme difficulty walking. We could only see the top of Alice's head when she stepped off the snow mobile.

"Uh could I have some help here!" Alice's voice called from under the snow .Rosalie beat Jasper over to her and wound up giving her a piggy back ride. The minute we got inside the wind suddenly picked up forming a snow drift that was big enough to block off the entrance to the driveway and tower over Emmett's jeep.

"Well looks like we're staying here tonight Jasper!" Emmett said

"So where are we sleeping…and what do we do about pj's?" Emmett asked.

"hold on Emmett!" Alice said running up the stairs. When she returned she was laden with sleeping bags and clothing bags.

"it never helps to be prepared!" Alice said tossing the bags at Emmett and Jasper. Her and Rose went back upstairs to get their things.

"We'll be crashing in the living room…give the old married couples their space!" Alice said smiling.

"This is going to be like a big co-ed sleep over!" Alice exclaimed. Charlie turned around.

"Alice!" Charlie warned.

" platonic of course!" Alice said rolling her eyes. Charlie then walked upstairs.

"I'll give them a few minutes and then I go in!" Alice said holding up the ear plug box. She lightly snickered.

"Alright so lets measure that snow!" Alice said taking out a measuring stick and smiling happily. We walked to the doorway and opened the door. Since the snow was almost exactly Alice's height Rosalie did the honors.

"4 ft 5 in exactly Alice" Rosalie said

"I called it!" Alice chirped happily. We all then went into the kitchen and made hot chocolate. We gave a small toast and then Edward carried me up to bed while Alice snuck into Charlie's room with two packages of ear plugs

"hehehe…platonic…right…with people who just got married in the house…who is he kidding!" Alice snickered before she entered the room.

"your sister has…" Edward started up.

"the dirtiest mind of any girl I know…tell me about it!" I said. We walked into the room to find candles galore, the beds pushed together and covered by what looked like new red and gold sheets. Mistletoe hung right over the bed. Chocolates and condoms were scattered allover the bed with a note from Alice next to skimpy lingerie

__

" Have fun…I want dets tomorrow…you owe me big time…Merry Christmas 3 A!"

" Alice!" The both of us said laughing and turning to each other. After getting ready for the night sweet passion consumed the both of us. If this was what being married was like then I should of did this a long time ago!

Waking up early the next morning I found a god sitting next to me and smiling. I couldn't believe that this was real…it had to be a dream. A wonderful dream but a dream all the same. I mean I never thought _I _would be married to _him._ yet here I was…with my husband…with Edward. I was blissful. He held me close and I was enveloped by his sweet sent. Our lips met. It was the best kiss ever…the electricity, the sweetness, the softness of it…he was the best kisser ever. The passion from last night hit like an explosion. We didn't even think about leaving the room for the next half hour.

When we finally made our way downstairs Alice was on the phone rebooking our flight. She was arguing with the airlines about the policy of what happens when mother nature closes the nearest airport and you cant get to the closest open one.

"I will personally stick my Gucci shoe up your ass if you don't get me on another flight FOR FREE…oh so your in Florida…that's lovely…meanwhile I'm in Washington state and I'm up to my neck in snow…my airport is closed and I have to get to New York…its an emergency! Why? I'll tell you why! Because my coach bag is in my dorm room in NYU…THAT'S WHY…WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT'S NOT AN EMERGENCY…ITS COACH…IT IS AN EMERGENCY…THAT AND THE FACT THAT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE IN TIMESQUARE FOR NEW YEARS…what if I told you that I have two little kids back in New York…all alone and scared. Their father uh…he's with me. The babysitter just called me and told me she was backing out…please you're a parent right…or you have nieces…or nephews…I have to get back to see my kids. Bless your kind heart." Alice said.

"Thank god I said I was part of a group…but if they ask guys…Bella your Auntie B and Edward your Uncle E. I said Emmett and Rosalie are just distant relatives that showed up at the last minute. So anyways we're taking off from L.A…I don't know how we're going to get there but that's where we're leaving from the minute we can get there." Alice said.

"No problem!" Charlie said taking off. About ten minutes later he returned.

"I love being police chief…the national guard's going to be landing on our front lawn…they're going to be flying you all the way out to L.A. for your flight. luckily I know the governor…from back in the army…the funny thing is that the minute I said 'its Charlie Swan' he asked if Killer Cullen was near by. Man we were such bad asses . " Charlie said. Jasper proudly stood up and saluted.

"such a good boy…a boy after his own grandfather's heart!" Charlie said. Just then we saw bronze streak across the front yard. At first we thought it was a wolf but we then realized that it had human foot prints. A wheelchair whizzed by the house on a sled…kicking up snow as it went along. While Billy was dressed up like an eskemo Jacob came up donning nothing but his tighty whities. I was surprised that he didn't get frost bite. They were running towards the side of the house…towards my bedroom. We could hear them talking about me and all the things Jacob could do to me. A 'goodie' bag was in Billy's lap.

"THAT LITTLE BASTARD!" Charlie roared running up the stairs.

"OH HELL NO…NOT AGAIN….DIDN'T HE LEARN AFTER THE LAST TIME HE GOT HIS ASS KICKED!" Alice snarled. Alice pulled a pistol out of her ass…when the fuck did she get a pistol? She handed Rosalie the machete and went upstairs to grab our guns. I saw my shot gun fly down the stairs.

"LET GO OF ME JACOB BLACK…GO FUCK YOURSELF!" Alice roared which was followed by several loud thuds.

"UNFORTNUATELY FOR YOU I WATCHED MISS CONGENALITY…SO I KNOW TO S.I.N.G!" Alice yelled which was followed by Jacob hollowing in pain.

"OUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Alice screamed after we heard this particularly loud thud.

"ALICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Charlie and Jasper roared at the same time. Jasper stormed up the stairs like his future solider self.

"you fucking asshole Billy…throwing my baby's mattress on her…how about I throw you out the fucking window…what did Jacob carry you in your wheelchair up the side of the house….you're a sick fuck Billy…you were actually going to sit there and watch Jacob attack Bella. Your just as mentally fucked as your son." Charlie said disgusted. The fight then spilt downstairs. Seeing Edward's pissed off face and my shiny new rings Jacob gulped.

"I told you to back the fuck off…what part of 'we're together' do you not understand…didn't you even see Alice's engagement announcement on face book… or the one yesterday that Bella wrote on her face book ….'going to the chapel to get married' …honestly can you not read or something! …and even if we weren't together…look at you….your practically naked running around in the blizzard of the century. You'd probably die of hypothermia before she even got with you." Edward said.

" its not that cold out." Jacob said.

"Not that cold…man your nuts are practically frozen off…snow just fell from the inside of your underwear!" Edward said.

" Why were you looking there anyways!" Jacob said.

"can I kill this guy?" Edward asked annoyed.

"well I don't know maybe its because your running around clad in your underwear…and we can all see what your thinking right now…you have the worst one track mind I've ever seen and that's a feet considering I know Alice." Emmett said.

"Oh yeah I know Alice too…very well!" Jacob said licking his lips.

"YOU MOTHER FUCKER!" Jasper roared lunging at Jacob. Edward went and helped Jasper out.

"YOU SCUMBAG…YOU BREAK INTO MY WIFE'S HOUSE TO ATTACK HER AGAIN AND YOU SAY THAT ABOUT MY SISTER IN LAW…FUCK YOU!" Edward roared kicking him in the head.

"OWWW! CAN YOU BLAME ME…BELLA'S SO HOT…I JUST WANT TO LICK-!" Jacob whined. He was cut off by Edward's foot kicking him in the mouth. Teeth flew everywhere.

"LICK THAT JACOB!" Edward snarled.

"My teeth!" Jacob said with a heavy lisp.

"Fuck yeah…look it his teeth are all the way over here!" Emmett said pointing to his foot.

"ay someone go after Billy…he's trying to escape!" Jasper roared as Billy made a break for the door. Emmett ran like a bull and knocked him off the wheelchair.

"not so brave now are we Billy…cant throw mattresses at people can we…Chief Swan's right…your fucked in the head…and I thought I had problems…I don't help my son rape people!" Emmett growled.

"Shut up boy you don't have a son!" Billy countered.

"if I did I would definitely advise him against doing this…your fucked up!" Emmett said.

"I may be fucked up but I am your drug dealer son!" Billy said in a paternal voice.

"Not for long…since I started seeing Rose I quit that stuff…I've been clean since October…which I thought you would of figured out since people in this town talk even when were 3,000 miles away. You cant use that excuse with me man!" Emmett growled.

"So your Billy…you're the one that sold Emmett his stuff…I have a bone to pick with you!" Rosalie hissed.

"Yum sounds fun!" Billy said

"Ugh your disgusting…like father like son!" Rosalie growled.

"Thank you…Jacob had to learn from somewhere…I swore before I started to teach that boy he had no game…now he's got game!" Billy said

"Games not what I would call it…more like pedophilia" Jasper said. Just then a national guard helicopter landed in the front yard. Someone got out…looked at the ground and then looked at the house.

"YES! YOUR IN TROUBLE NOW GUYS…GRANDPA'S HERE!" Jasper said.

"Please I could take on any old bastards!" Billy said. Grandpa Cullen then turned back towards the helicopter grabbed his cane shot gun and returned back into view with what looked like seven army rangers…all loaded up with weapons. They surrounded the house and were getting closer.

"FUCK…WHAT THE FUCK…FUCKING EMBRY…HE NEVER HAS OUR BACK…JESUS CHRIST…THE MILLETARY…THAT'S A LITTLE EXTREME EVEN FOR EMBRY. CHARLIE BEING EX ARMY ….THEY'RE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE US!" Billy said throwing the front door open and pealing out. Jacob stumbled out behind him. Billy was quickly surrounded by people and captured. Grandpa Cullen knocked Jacob down in a flying tackle. They both plunged into the snow and grandpa stood up victorious. He dragged the unconscious Jacob popsicle to one of the officers. At that point Alice ran getting everything. We zipped up our snow suits and brought everything outside. The people grabbed everything and we basically cross county skied to the helicopter( the people gave us some) . They dropped Billy, and Jacob off on the roof of the police station with a waiting deputy who escorted them to a waiting jail cell. Zipping off the roof again we finally relaxed.

"Grandpa not that I'm not happy to see you here…but what are you doing here?" Jasper asked.

"Governor called…said that there was an escaped felon running around and since he was native American he might have survival training…naturally I said yes…you know I love a good man hunt. Little wimp didn't put up much of a fight…so what was the deal with him and your house?" Grandpa Cullen asked.

"Well see the story goes like this…" We said explaining everything to him. And enraged smile spread across his face but his eyes glittered in pride.

"grandpa taught you guys well!" Grandpa Cullen said proudly.

"yeah his teeth went clean out of his mouth…even I felt that one!" Jasper said beaming.

"Good boys!" Grandpa said. I looked down at the snow covered buildings in a mild shock. I couldn't believe that it was that bad. I rested my head on Edward's shoulder. Before we knew it we were in L.A boarding the flight home.


	34. The hotel

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 34

BPV

We were later arriving back to New York then we expected obviously but the hotel we had booked was gracious to accept us anyways. Edward booked us in the honeymoon suite. The others booked themselves right across from us and next door. It had a bar that would make Alice go nuts and a small Jacuzzi in one of the corners. Everything had the romantic feel. Candles were lit and flower peddles were scattered over the king size bed. Alice sauntered in the minute we set our bags down.

"this is so nice…I should of lied and told them that me and Jasper were newly weds…look at this place…its got a fricken Jacuzzi in it! And the bar!" Alice said mesmerized. Next thing we knew she had already downed half a bottle of scotch.

"um Alice maybe you should slow down?" I said in a warning tone.

"Oh shush Bellllzzz…after allll we've beennn through in these past fewww dayss I neeed a drink…besides itsss Christmas time and you justtt got marriedd…its time to celebrate!" Alice said slurring and pouring another glass

"Alice you've had more then just a drink besides half of that stuff was your fault. You're the one who decided to host a wedding in a blizzard, you're the one who nearly killed us on a snow mobile and you're the one who announced to the entire town that we were getting married…after Tanya found that out it was probably easy to find out where the venue was…we even had to go home because you booked us in a hotel that had a roof collapse. Put the bottle back!" I said.

"Alice we weren't planning on having another California tonight…put the booze down." Edward said. Alice didn't listen.

"Wantz somme?" Alice said shoving the bottle in our faces. Jasper came in looking for Alice just as we shoved the bottle down.

"Alice its time to go home!" Jasper said realizing the situation immediately.

"Jazzy come, sit, drinkkk…be meeerrryyy!" Alice slurred pointing to the spot next to her.

"now how can I refuse such an offer little lady!" Jasper said sitting next to her. Alice went to poor him a glass of scotch but realized the bottle was empty. Alice was such an alcoholic. I was seriously starting to consider AA.

"oops guess we're on to Champaign!" Alice said digging into the complementary Champaign the hotel provided as a wedding gift. She pulled out our dirty toast glasses out of no where.

"Alice those are dirty!" Jasper said shocked.

"who cares…their our friends…we know their not sick…if your really worried about it ill wipe it down with my alcohol wipes!" Alice said taking out little hand napkins and wiping the glasses down. She then poured two glasses of Champaign.

"To them ( Alice pointed at me and Edward) for making my toast in Italy come true…now the adventures will continue outside of NYU…we'll be closer then ever…sisters married to slashhh dating brotherss…Cheers!" Alice said clinking glasses with Jasper and nearly falling off her chair.. After finishing a couple glasses of Champaign they moved on to southern comfort where Jasper downed the entire bottle almost by himself. They were both three sheets to the wind.

"Iss it shottt time yet?" Alice slurred as Jasper pulled out shot glasses and a bottle of absolut.

"lets play how many we can down in a minute!" Jasper said pulling out his phone and pouring the first shots. If I didn't know Alice I probably would of bet on Jasper considering his size and everything but Alice could chug fast and she was a seasoned drinker as we all knew so they were neck and neck at five each. Alice was definitely not going to remember anything tomorrow.

"more!" Alice said poring another shot. Okay make that six and six now. They stopped when Alice fell off her chair and passed out.

"isz Allie sleepingggggg?" Jasper slurred as Edward dragged him out of the room. I slung Alice over my shoulder and followed them out. Alice started to come to in the hallway so when we entered their room I ran right into the bathroom and threw Alice's head into the toilet.

EPV

I was trying to keep Jasper in the room while Bella was helping Alice out. He was trying to get into the bathroom where the girls were. I finally got him settled into a couch when Jasper did something that shocked me.

"I think I'm going to askk Allice to marry me…right now!" Jasper said whipping out a ring from like no where. When the hell did he get a ring?

"oh no your not…your going to bed!" I ordered.

"Why? It seemms like the peerfect time…and your shouldn't be speaking…you jusst got hitched!" Jasper said getting up and trying to run to the bathroom.

"Jasper…Alice definitely is the type of girl that wants to remember her proposal…now go to bed!" I said.

"but!"

"BED!" I ordered pointing to the bed next to him. Jasper whimpered and jumped in it. I then stood guard outside the bathroom to make sure Jasper didn't pull any tricks. The door opened and Bella dragged Alice into the same bed as Jasper and then we went into the task of cleaning up their bathroom.

BPV

" I think we should stay here tonight…if we don't Jasper might do something he will definitely regret in the morning…did you know he wants to ask Alice to marry him…probably got the idea from watching Alice plan our wedding." Edward said as we scrubbed the floor around the toilet

" well when he does ask her…she'll definitely say yes…she kept on saying in between bouts of puking that she wanted to marry him. Luckily I forced her head in the toilet the whole time so he didn't hear her. But while she does want to marry him she's defiantly one of those girls that want something big…like getting engaged on television with millions of viewers watching. So your right…we'll stay tonight to make sure she at least has a proposal she remembers and make sure they live to see it." I said. We then went into our room to grab some things .

It turned out we were right to stay there. Jasper tried proposing to her so many times that it wasn't funny. Luckily we stopped him before he could fully get out the question. He thought he was being sneaky but he really wasn't. It was very obvious what he was trying to do.

"Alicee can I ask yoou something verry verry important?" Jasper slurred tilting his head towards Alice. Edward raised his head and narrowed his eyes just as Alice said a barely discernable "what?"

"I want to uh go to the bathroom!" Jasper said chickening out and running into the bathroom. We could hear the sounds of him getting sick. Ugh we were going to have to clean up the mess in the morning! We then fell into a half sleep and Jasper got into bed. Alice passed out in the bed. About twenty minutes later Jasper snuck out of bed. We could see him checking to see if we were sleeping as he crept to Alice's side of the bed which was facing us. In his drunken state he must of decided that we were sleeping for he bent down on one knee. He had to stabilize himself by holding one hand against the bed. The ring box was in his hand

"Pst Alice!" Jasper whispered. No response from Drunken Beauty.

"Alllicceee!" Jasper whispered louder shaking her shoulder.

"Aliceee I want to maarrryyy you…wake up Allie?" Jasper slurred happily. Luckily Alice was comatose so she didn't hear that. Edward got up at that point and dragged Jasper to bed. He placed duck tape that Alice must of brought with her -for it was lying next to her makeup- across Jasper's mouth and he duck taped Jasper's hands and feet to Jasper's body.

"Finally peace and quiet! Now we can finally go to sleep!" Edward said stretching out and holding me in his arms. Sweet blackness enveloped as Edward kissed my head.

Alice and Jasper woke up with no memory of what happened the next day. Alice drank her coffee and samboca again to cure her hangover. She left a cup next to Jasper and went to get breakfast.

"Ugh what happened!" Jasper moaned coming to and smelling his coffee. He immediately looked down.

"Alice got me coffee?" he asked.

"how many times do I have to tell her that I don't want coffee and samboca…I want Baileys!" Jasper said trying to get the cup and realizing that he was bound.

"Why are my hands duck taped to my body?" Jasper asked.

"What happened last night?" Jasper demanded.

"you know what they say Jasper ….when your drunk the truth comes out…I give you credit for the ring but for romantic form you get a zero. The best way to ask a girl for her hand in marriage is not when she's passed out drunk or when your that trashed for that matter either. We know you and we know you have something big for her so we stopped you before you could get it out." Edward said.

"I did what?" Jasper asked.

"it was mostly in the form of 'I'm going to ask Alice to marry me…right now!' you did get on one knee though and try to wake her up. Hence the duck tape." Edward said.

"She didn't hear me though did she?" Jasper asked.

"if she did she doesn't remember it!" I said.

"Oh thank god…its coming soon I promise guys…and I think its going to be good!" Jasper said.

"oh really...so what's your master plan?" I asked.

"Well I was thinking about-" Jasper was cut off by Alice bursting down the door.

"hi guys…I just came back from breakfast…it was great…they gave me a pancake the size of my head that was crammed with blueberries! Alice chirped happily. Jasper stood there with his mouth hung open.

"Did I walk in on some family matter?" Alice asked confused.

"oh we were just talking about the possibility of adding a sewing room in our house when we get one!" I said.

"Oh definitely…why would you even have to talk about that…and with Jasper?" Alice asked.

"well we knew that if you got wind of it that you'd live at our house so we wanted to run it by Jasper first. You know considering he is your_ boyfriend_…we though he should have a say in it!" I said throwing a look at Jasper. All I could say was that he better put that rock on her finger soon.

"oh…yeah about that…Jasper I want a ring…I want a wedding…I want a special day with eighteen flower girls and 50 bridesmaids fawning over me. I know you say we just started dating but we've known each other forever…I wanna be marrriiieddd…my sister and your brother have a good thing going…why cant we follow in their lead! I want a big carriage to carry me down the streets to the chapel!" Alice was begging and starting to sound border line hysterical.

" Alice …darling we had this conversation the other night. We're going to get married when _both _of us feel ready. This relationship has two people in it…not just Alice. And a marriage isn't just about the wedding day!" Jasper said. Wow this was the first time Jasper wasn't giving Alice what she wanted the second she wanted it. This was actually quite empowering to watch. Go Jasper…I knew you had some gahonas!

"but your brother and my sister…" Alice countered.

"Bella and Edward got married because they both wanted to. They have an understanding marriage…unlike you…its not about some big extravagant white gown…" Jasper was going on.

"Pink!" Alice coughed. If Jasper heard he pretended not to.

"Its about the life together afterwards….eventually I do want to marry you…but when you understand what it's really about." Jasper said.

"no fun!" Alice whined.

"Don't worry Alice you'll get your wedding some day…I have a feeling that you're a fast learner." Jasper said.

"what is it with you…so mysterious…I need dates Jasper…I need to prepare my proposal face…I need to know when I can start planning my wedding. I want to still be young!" Alice complained. Jasper shook his head. I could tell that my words were haunting him right now.

"Don't say it!" Jasper warned when Alice went into the bathroom.

"!" Alice shrieked disgusted. Walking in we could see that Jasper made a mess in there last night and we forgot to clean it up this morning.

"That is nasty…it got on my mascara!" Alice cried holding up a bottle of mascara that was dripping from half way down the bottle.

"it smells like stomach contents in here!" Alice gagged throwing her mascara in the sink and washing the bottle off. Edward and I cleaned up with the massive amounts of Clorox wipes that we had brought along in case of something like this. We made a vow to buy bleach tonight for a more proper cleaning.

"ugh no one cleaned up last night?" Alice gagged some more.

"it was kind of hard when both you and Jasper were running back and fourth into the bathroom and throwing up multiple times. After a while we just gave up." I said.

"Still that's gross!" Alice said.

"well we were trying the best we could…we couldn't keep up!" I said.

"I understand." Alice said.

After that we returned to our room. For the first time since Charlie's house we were all alone. Edward re lit the candles and we locked the door and put massive amounts of do not disturb signs on it. Our lips then met. We barely made it to the bed.

"I love you Mrs. Cullen." Edward said. I was lost in his Smokey eyes .

"I love you too Mr. Cullen" I whispered back. The god like creature beamed. I couldn't believe that he had chosen me. That I was his and he was mine. I kept on expecting myself to wake up in my bed at home with Alice annoyingly opening my eyes.

But that never happened!


	35. Ringing in the New Year

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 35

BPV.

We stowed ourselves away in the room whenever possible for the next week. I say whenever possible because Alice being the shopaholic pixie that she was practically broke the door down a couple of times in the attempt to go shopping. Being newlyweds wasn't an excuse big enough to help us escape Alice's wrath. In fact Jasper told her off a few times for disturbing us during private moments. Said something like "Do not disturb" means do not disturb…not bust down the door and drag the couple out kicking and screaming.

"See this is one of the things that you need to understand about marriage Alice…married couples need married couple time to make it work…not married couple plus Alice time…I'm not saying Bella's not your sister any more…I'm trying to say learn how to share…your sister's not going to be at your beckon call…she share's her life with someone else now!" Jasper said one day after she broke down the door and then made gagging noises because she walked in during a bad time

"but that's not fair!" Alice whined.

"Alice…I know its not fair but you do have other people in your life that you can shop with." Jasper said clearly meaning himself.

"That's right…I have Rosalie!" the human chastity belt said taking off. We heard several lid thuds as Alice broke the door down next door. Next thing we knew Alice was flat on her ass in the hallway and crying.

"no body wants to go shopping with me!" Alice sobbed. Jasper looking extremely flustered picked Alice up off the floor and they disappeared down the hallway.

"how did you live with _that_?" Edward asked shaking his head.

"lets just say that I was Alice's living Barbie doll." I said. Edward wrapped his arm around me.

"Well she doesn't see it yet but pretty soon she's going to get another Barbie doll or should I say Ken?" Edward snickered.

"you think that he really is going to hold out for a while…or is he pulling her chain?" I asked.

" I cant tell…maybe a little bit of both. If he is going to wait its not going to be too long obviously if he's proposing under the influence. I'll say that they're married by next year…maybe sooner." Edward said. I nodded in agreement. He would have to eventually give into Alice's annoyance. Not that anyone would blame him…she was the queen of harassment when she wanted to be.

"lets hope its soon for Jasper's mental health." I half joked Edward snickered. My sister _would_ put her boyfriend into a straight jacket.

"Enough about them…back to what we were doing!" I whispered as our lips met again. We relocked the door and crawled under the covers. Hours later I blissfully fell asleep in Edward's arms.

The next day Alice was knocking on our door bright and early. We grabbed bathrobes and opened up to reveal Alice donned with a tent, chairs and a duffle bag. Seeing this we realized what today was. The day before New Years eve. Alice had been talking about getting good seats for the past few months now. We were actually going to sleep in tents in time square.

"hi guys I know we said that we were going to go later on in the day but I want to get a early head start!" Alice said smiling.

"Alice your nuts." Edward said shaking his head and looking at her.

"no what's nuts is that your brother wont plant a ring on this willing finger…that's nuts!" Alice said holding up her left ring finger. I didn't know how Jasper could room with that…she was surely bugging the shit out of him to get married.

"he will when he's ready…besides your already a very intertwined part of the family…a marriage certificate wont do much." Edward said.

" ugh you sound just like him…why does he have to be so god damn vague…I need dates…there's things that a girl needs to get done…obviously with you guys it wasn't the case because I got a vision so I knew where to go but with me zilch…I swear he's purposely being indecisive just so I cant be prepared…I need to be prepared…I WANT TO KNOW WHEN THE HELL IS HE GOING TO POP THE QUESTION!" Alice whined.

"Alice chill out…you've only been dating two months you know…your two month anniversary is tomorrow…and while Edward and I only dated a few months before he asked me I knew for sure that I wanted to be with him forever…I want to be with Edward. But I didn't badger him about marriage the minute we got together…give Jasper some breathing space so he can come up with the idea on his own and don't force him into a decision that you both will regret later." I said.

"Says you…you got the rings…you got the wedding…what do I have to do to get this guy to pop the question…I've tried everything! Bottle of Champaign laid out next to a premade chicken dinner…candle's scattered and lit everywhere…rose peddles leading to me and to the bed. That was just last night! I got down on my knee and begged him a couple of days ago and it still didn't work! And you Bella…all you do is go to central park one day and bam you two are hitched almost a month later…how fair is that!" Alice whined.

"Alice you cant characterize what one brother does by the other…they are completely different people! Besides I have a feeling that your ring is coming soon. You ever consider that if you shut up about it that the process might move along more smooth. Your only pissing us all off by constantly going on about getting your big wedding blow out." I said. Edward was trying hard to stifle laughter. Alice looked offended.

"your supposed to be on my side!" Alice said pissed.

"Alice there are no sides…you have to understand it takes two to tango…your relationship isn't all about you…your not in a relationship with yourself…and when you get that through your head that's when you'll be ready for the next step!" Edward said.

"what do you two rehearse these lies together…I perfectly well understand that my relationship isn't all about me!" Alice said.

"then prove it…because every time you talk marriage its in the form of "big pink bridal gown" and " flower girls" or "Bridal party" or "rhinestone studded veil" …its always about the wedding…in other words the day that's all about you…. and never about the days, weeks, months, and years later…you know when its about the couple!" Edward said and I nodded in agreement. Alice stood there speechless for once.

"I…well…there must have been one discussion that I talked about marriage and not in the form of my wedding day!' Alice said.

" Alice you tried to include yourself in my wedding…you wore a god damn veil to the wedding!" I said.

"That's different!" Alice said.

"Alice do you really think that when Jasper saw that you really think that made your case…it didn't. in fact it screamed 'I just want to get married so I can have my big trendy wedding' and not 'I want to be with _you_ Jasper for the rest of my life!'" I said. Edward and I could see Jasper's head pop out into our doorway. Alice standing with her back facing to him didn't see him

"but that's not the case….I've never felt this way about anyone else before…I want Jasper and only Jasper!" Alice said seriously. I could see Jasper's eyes light up. He's been waiting forever to hear those words. A huge smile spread across what I could see of his face and his head backed away. Wow Alice was actually admitting that it wasn't all about Alice. Maybe she did actually want to be with Jasper forever.

"Then don't you think he needs to know that!" Edward said as I felt him rub my shoulder and I could tell we were thinking the same thing…too late for that…she told him with out realizing it.

" I guess your right!" Alice sighed.

"Well I'm off to get some breakfast. When I get back we're leaving…be ready!" Alice said turning away. The minute she shut the door we got dressed.

Walking out we could see Alice dragging Rose and Emmett out of bed. Both Rose and Emmett had pissed off looks on their faces. Three guesses what Alice had just walked in on. She really had no control over herself in that department.

"Good you guys are ready…lets go …I want to get good seats!" Alice said dragging everyone down the stairs. As soon as we checked out Alice bolted towards time square. We got the tents and the sleeping bags all set up and threw down lawn chairs.

"This is just like camping!" Alice said happily.

"uh not really…camping involves woods…you know the wilderness…we're in the middle of one of the biggest cities in the world….woods I think not!" Emmett said.

"kill joy!" Alice groaned.

"So look at what I scored for tomorrow!" Emmett said whipping out a bunch of twelve packs.

"that's great…so what are we going to do in the mean time?" I asked

"that's why I brought my new portable television…we can watch tv all day and I brought massive amounts of food!" Alice said un zippering her duffle bag. Twinkies, snow globes, and fruit rollups among other things fell out of the bag.

"TWINKIES!" Emmett said eating three Twinkies.

"hold your horses buddy…your not the only hungry stomach here…you have to share!" Alice said eyeing out Emmett disgusted. That was nothing compared to Rose.

"how can one person eat that many Twinkies?" Rosalie asked half gagging as Twinkie smeared across Emmett's face.

"yum just like cake!" Emmett said happily. Alice was looking at him with her mouth hung open.

"I think we found Emmett's kryptonite." Jasper joked.

More and more people came as the day went on. Alice was snickering about being front row and center as the ball dropped. She was praying that we got on camera and brought makeup with her for tomorrow for that reason.

"This is so exciting…I've always wanted to do this!" Alice said happily as she flicked on the portable television and we started to watch movies. That night after eating dinner (since Alice only packed snacks she volunteered to get us something…Jasper naturally followed and they disappeared for a good two hours before returning with Chinese food…and a couple of Gucci bags.) each couple went into their tents…considering Alice was the mastermind behind this whole plan we slept on areomatresses and the pinkest rhinestone studded sleeping bags ever made. Edward looked like he would rather sleep in a bed if glass instead of the sleeping bag (I guess Alice wanted us to match…other wise why she would give my husband the most feminine sleeping bag ever made I don't know) but he didn't complain. We snuggled in and watched as the moon light caused the rhinestones to reflect across the tent nearly blinding us. We were going to have to talk to Alice about using more gender neutral sleeping bags. We were in search of a bathroom in the middle of the night when we disturbed Alice. Her tent which was light pink with a big hot pink "A" on the front unzipped and stuck her head out. Her night mask ( the one with the hot pink "A" on it) was on top of her head. Looking in we could see that Alice and Jasper also had similar sleeping bags…Black background with their initials in bright hot pink that stretched the entire length of the sleeping bags. Guess we weren't the only one's she stuck with flashy sleeping bags.

"Where are you two going?" Alice whispered

"Alice how many things do you have with your first initial imprinted on it?" Edward asked

"oh I don't know only 20 or 30 items…I lost count…that's not the point…what's going on its like three am?" Alice asked.

"Oh we're just looking for a bathroom." I said.

"oh well there's a fast food place still open over there!" Alice said pointing in the direction of the restaurant.

"Thanks…we got it Alice." Edward said.

"no problem…good night!" Alice said as her head ducked back in.

"see if he's sleeping in a tent like that…and has a you know what…then I think you know who has nothing to worry about." Edward spoke slightly cryptic in case Alice was eavesdropping. She would follow us to a bathroom. After using the bathroom and getting stared at by the night staff we headed back to our tent and the disco ball sleeping bags. Before going to sleep we could see through the plastic window that Alice installed in our tent that Alice's tent was lit up. Alice's figure was searching the entire tent for something…three guesses what. I was surprised that Jasper didn't wake but then again Alice probably had the forethought to buy him a matching sleeping mask. Her body language suggested that she was starting to get really frustrated. Even if he did bring that with him he definitely would of hid it well and considering it was 3 am Alice definitely was not going to find it now.

"your sister is such a persistent one that's for sure!" Edward said as we watched Alice sneak over to what was obviously Jasper's sleeping bag and peer in. Thank god he wasn't awake to see this.

"yeah but persistent can be good!" I said. Edward threw his arm around me.

"Yes it can!" Edward said holding me in his arms. I saw his eyes twinkle as I drifted off into peaceful blackness. Before I knew it dream Edward was smiling at me.

We were awoken abruptly the next morning. The both of us shot up and looked at each other. Alice and Emmett had taken it upon themselves to wake everyone up with air horns at like 7 am.

"RISE AND SHINE SISSY AND BROTHER IN LAW. TIME TO GET UP…TODAYS THE DAY!" Alice shouted sticking her head in the tent. She really was annoying.

"Alice!" Edward groaned rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"SHUT UP!" Someone roared as Emmett ran around blaring the air horn. Emmett only blared it some more and Alice chimed in again. They're not with us! They're not with

us!

"OH STOP…ITS NEW YEARS EVE…ITS TIME TO PARTY!" Emmett bellowed blaring the air horn again.

"YEAH!" Alice cheered following suit. I swore we would all be deaf after this.

"EMMETT MCCARTHY YOU PUT THAT AIR HORN DOWN THIS INSTANT….YOUR WAKING EVERYONE UP!" Rosalie snarled dragging Emmett back to their tent. There was cheering from other tents as Jasper followed suit.

" put me down Jasper!" Alice said as Jasper carried her over his shoulder back to the tent.

"Nope!"

"Put me down now!" Jasper then walked into the tent and zipped it up. Rosalie walked out of hers and placed a pad lock over Alice's before returning to her own.

"thank god that's over!" Edward said as we got dressed. We were awake anyways now thanks to Alice and Emmett. We scouted the nearest place to clean ourselves and used it. Coming back we could see Rose finally freeing Alice. Apparently Alice threatened to cut herself out and burn Roses tent clothes and all if Rosalie didn't let them out.

"finally…now where's a free shower?" Alice asked.

"Well there was a YMCA that we used a couple of blocks back ." I said.

"I'll find it…come along Jazzy…free shower!" Alice said running off with Jasper in toe.

"She's nuts!" Rosalie said when Alice was finally gone.

"Oh that's nothing she's done worse…but her heart is in the right place." I said. Everyone agreed.

"yeah that's true…but she's going to keep Jasper on his feet." Edward said.

" say when do you think he'll ask her?" I asked. Edward and I looked at each other. As if he could read my mind we said the exact thing at the exact same time.

" ugh what the hell… why didn't we see that…of course…its perfect for her!" we said. Rose and Emmett looked confused.

" alright will you two enlighten the spiritually unlinked?" Emmett asked annoyed. I grunted and Rosalie caught it.

"OOH!" Rosalie exclaimed getting it. Emmett of course was still dumb founded.

"What? Will some one please inform the rest of us what's going on?" Emmett asked with the annoyance in his voice growing.

"Come on Emmett I'll explain on the way!" Rosalie said dragging Emmett off as Alice and Jasper started to come back into view all cleaned and dressed up. Alice was wearing one of those funky new years glasses.

"what's up with them?" Alice asked.

"Oh um nothing…they were just…uh talking about how Rosalie wanted to redecorate her dorm when we got back in them. Aren't we lucky they didn't switch Edward and I out into the married couple's dorms until next year!" I said nervously.

"What's going on…Jasper's been acting funny today too!" Alice said as Jasper glared at us.

"Nothing!" All three of us said together and Jasper added " no I haven't…I don't know what your talking about!" while looking off.

"Jasper you barely touched your breakfast…I thought you loved grits?" Alice asked.

"Wasn't that hungry…had a Twinkie before you woke up this morning!" Jasper said trying to keep a straight face. This was going to be an interesting day!

"I've never seen you snub grits before…even when your full!" Alice countered.

"Well I'm off to Prada…big sale today…be back in a little bit!" Alice said taking off. The minute she took off Jasper exhaled.

"Finally she's gone…you don't know how hard it is to shut up around her…especially when she's still baggering about marriage! Do you know I caught her going through my locker at the YMCA…as if I would hide it there!" Jasper laughed heartedly.

"So where did you put the ring…I mean we know you didn't leave it in the hotel?" Edward asked.

"in the least place that she would expect it…her makeup bag. There's a section that she never uses…shocking I know…but I figured it out. She'll never find it…I made damn sure of that. She can look all she wants…literally the ring is under her nose and she doesn't even have a clue!" Jasper said with a slight chuckle.

"How did you guys figure it out?" Jasper asked.

"well it was pretty easy actually…I'm surprised that Alice didn't figure it out herself…she's usually pretty good with that stuff you know even with out the psychic antenna." I said.

"yeah well that's a blessing though…that girl needs a shock once in her life!" Jasper said.

" yep she does…this is going to be funny to sit back and watch…Alice is a very _expressive _person." I said.

"especially when she's going to be on national television." Jasper said.

"What?" Edward and I asked.

"Well lets just say that I may of hinted to some broadcasting companies where to turn at the right moment." Jasper said knowingly. Edward and I shook our heads. Alice was going to go nuts when she realized that.

" GUESS WHAT GUYS I SCORED THIS CUTE PRADA BAG FOR CHEEP…THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!" Alice roared happily. A slight smile crossed Jasper's face.

"oh that's great Alice." we all said shaking our heads.

"its time square…new years eve and I'm sitting here with my prada bag…life cant get any sweeter then this!" Alice said plopping down in her lawn chair taking out a bottle of lemonade that she brought and began sipping it. We could literarily see the confidence in Jasper start to swell. He took out some book that was about the civil war and read it next to her. It was at that point that Emmett and Rose came back with a bunch of coffees and hot chocolates.

"Yum…we should do this more often!" Alice said bubbly taking the hot chocolate out of Rosalie's hand. I rested my head against Edward's shoulder as we sat in our own lawn chairs. I couldn't believe that in the space of one year I had gone from hopelessly pinning for Edward to married to him. I felt like this was the best dream ever. Edward slung his arm around my neck and we stayed like that for the next couple of hours.

A few hours later time's square was one big party. Emmett cracked open his beers and passed them out. He and Alice were both like little kids. I think that they were competing for most enthusiastic over tonight.

"WAHOOOOOOOOOOO BEST NIGHT EVER!" Alice roared as the cameras flashed over her. Everyone was going nuts. Music filled the air. The ball was lit up. Alice whipped out her camera and started to take pictures of everything. She was getting massive amounts of pictures with her and Jasper.

"Wahoo new years….yeahhhhhhhh!" Alice roared as the cameras flashed towards us again.

"thank god I made us all over!" Alice said proud of herself. Alice did as much as possible considering we were going to be on camera.

"HI CHARLIE!" Alice waived beaming into the camera. Charlie probably just had the big one.

" HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Alice screamed waiving like an idiot. I looked at my clock. It was 11:58 pm. The count down was going to start soon. Edward wrapped his hand around my waist. About a minute later everyone started counting down. Emmett and Alice fist pumped saying "59,58". Jasper's hand was going into his back pocket which Alice should of noticed-but didn't - considering he was the only one in the crowd not fist pumping. She was too busy trying to get into the cameras to notice. She was even trying to get reporter's attention.

" and lets talk to someone from over here…what's your name?" A reporter asked walking over and giving Jasper the cover that he needed.

"26!…and my name is Alice!" Alice roared happily.

"Where are you from?" the reporter asked.

"23! …originally Forks Washington but I go to school here!" Alice beamed.

"So how would you describe the scene here?" the reporter asked.

"20! ….it's a blast…wahoo…I'm on TV!" Alice roared.

"and you heard it from this young lady here…its crazy at times square tonight!" the reporter said,

"16! Yeah it definitely is!" Alice roared. It looked like she wanted to take the microphone out of the reporter's hand.

"Alice can I ask you two things?" Jasper asked as the count down started to wind down.

"10!" Was all Alice responded but her eyes darted over to him.

"Firstly dye your hair back if you love me…everyone's asking me if I'm dating my sister!" Jasper started up.

"9!" Alice said a little harshly.

" and the second thing is…now I know I said that we would wait till you understood more about marriage but you had ample time to observe Edward and Bella this week plus I just cant wait any longer. Alice…sweetie…baby…lets have that grand wedding that you desperately want…what do you say? Baby be my wife!" Jasper said whipping out the ring box. All the cameras in the area zoomed in on Alice and the reporters shoved microphones in her face. She looked like she was in all her glory.

"! OF COURSE I WILL…ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I YOU JASPER!" Alice squealed the loudest I ever heard. Her squeal was so loud that the reporters had to cover their ears. Just then my phone went off.

"Was that what I think it was?…Daddy S." the message read. Since when could Charlie text message? Wait a minute since when did Charlie have a cellphone. Obviously he's been learning things when we're away. Edward's phone then went off. Obviously our dads think alike.

"Tell Jasper good job he made his father proud…Daddy C." the message read.

"What are they together?" I asked shocked. We then heard the familiar ring tone of Jasper's phone.

"Hi grandpa…yeah that was me…I know I cant believe it…we're both going to be married to Kill-a-Swan's daughters…well in Edward's case he already is but yeah we're all going to be like family…oh Charlie's there and my dad is too…your having a big new years party? Your color scheme is red white and blue? That's cool! Wish I could have been there! Grandpa…GRANDPA?" Jasper said hanging up the phone.

'Well Grandpa just died and went to heaven!" Jasper exclaimed.

"WHAT!" we all roared shocked. Grandpa Cullen died?

"False alarm…he's calling back!" Jasper said picking up his phone again. Edward breathed a sigh of relief next to me.

"oh we must of lost you there for a second. So what's going on? Oh so Charlie and dad are getting along that good. Yeah so thanks for the congratulations." Jasper said hanging up again.

"yeah they're having one hell of a party there…loud music in the background and I think I heard the distinct sounds of Charlie doing a keg stand…odd." Jasper said. as confetti flew through the air. Everyone was still screaming "Happy New Year" and Emmett threw beer on us. A half pissed off Alice dumped her whole cup on his head.

"YEAH!" Emmett bellowed soaking wet in 20 degree weather.

"we're going to be so close…I'm marrying Jasper…your married to his brother…we're stuck together to the very end Bella!" Alice said happily. I would have the sister that marries my husband's brother just to be closer.

" Edward I have a question…is your family attracted weirdoes?" Emmett asked. Edward threw a disgusted look at him

"Well Bella's not your typical girl…and Alice is self explanatory." Emmett said as he pointed to Alice and her bright pink flashing glasses.

" well it seems that theory holds true since Rose is attracted to you!" Edward spat back before kissing my head. Rosalie stepped on Emmett's foot.

"THINK!" Rosalie hissed.

" Whatever whatever…I'm normal and I have a hot girlfriend…everyone knows it!" Emmett said cockily. I could of said something but I didn't.

"so Emmett…when are you going to step up…we're married, Alice and Jasper are next…looks like your turn soon!" I joked. Emmett looked like he got electrocuted.


	36. Psycho Bride pt 1

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 36

BPV.

Luckily we left for our honeymoon before Alice could go full swing into her wedding planning. The day after her proposal she already had set the date and booked the place. She busted down the door of the place we were staying at (We were at another hotel until school started) and came bouncing in as we were packing.

"JASPER AND I SET THE DATE…ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL!" Alice roared happily running into the room.

"When?" I asked mildly shocked. I shouldn't of been…I knew that Alice would waste no time in jumping into wedding plans.

"February 14th !" Alice said excited. Rose…who was in our room looking for some nail polish stared at her.

" isn't that cliché… please tell me its next year.!" Rosalie groaned.

"what are you talking about….cliché …and why would I want to wait a whole year…its next month duh!" Alice said in a factual tone.

"Jesus Christ Alice…what is it with you and extremely short engagements…and holidays for that matter!" I said shaking my head.

" the faster the better…besides I always wanted to get married on Valentines day…your Christmas wedding was just a coincidence!" Alice said.

"Alice what about our dresses…yours in particular!" I said.

"Not a problem…already have my dress…saw it the week of your wedding while I was walking the streets taking a break from decorating the banquet hall and fell in love with it. I just had to have it…I didn't care that I wasn't engaged yet. I brought it and made some alterations so that it could fit me. I figured that if I didn't get married in the next few years I could add my own touches to it!" Alice said whipping out a huge pink dress that had a bodice with a rhinestone pattern. This was going to be a circus. All I could say was thank god I was already married….and to her groom's brother. Edward could put his foot down and stop Alice from driving me insane. Besides we were going to miss some of it being that we were going on our honeymoon. Edward's parents lent us their mansion in Italy. So it looked like we were going back there. I couldn't wait.

"now aren't we lucky you just got married Bella…I don't need your measurements for your matron of honor dress!" Alice said happily. I looked at her.

"oh I forgot to ask didn't I…well Jasper and I were wondering …well since you guys are married to each other and both of you are our siblings…it would only be fitting if you guys were our matron of honor and best man?" Alice asked. Edward and I nodded. Alice was going to drive me nuts. Edward and I better lock our doors at night…if Alice gets an idea nothing stops her.

"Rose…you and Emmett are going to be ushers…I don't care if he's a licensed minister…we're not having a repeat of last time. If the minister gets sick or something I'll find another one even if its two seconds before the ceremony!" Alice said already starting up.

"Now flowers…I was thinking red roses, lilies and pink gerbas. You and Rose will carry a smaller version of mine. Here's the list of flower shops that I'm willing to work with guys…chop chop these things don't plan themselves you know. I'm off to sample cakes." Alice said throwing an entire book at us and running out the door. Rosalie was looking horrified.

"So what…are we supposed to go for the cheapest…the most expensive…what?" Rosalie asked confused as we picked up phones and started to call places. Since almost every place we called refused to do it on short notice I think Alice's plan was to go with the one who accepted at all.

" She's insane…Jasper just asked her last night and she's already talking baby's breath…she's going to be one of those brides!" Rosalie moaned.

"now what place are we on… ' Alfonso's Floral Palace'?" Rosalie asked scrunching her eyes.

"Geez with all these scribbled in notes she's going to make us go blind. What's this say …something about making a deal if you offer him massive amounts of food. Says 'similar to Emmett in personality' is she practically saying to go with him?" Rosalie asked calling the place.

"Hi is this Alfonso? I'm calling in regards to a wedding. The bride's last name is Swan…oh you already spoke with her…small little dynamo…yep that's her. For the bridal bouquet she wants red roses, lilies, and pink gerbas. Yes I think it's the arrangement you showed her back in November ( Alice must of stopped in while planning my wedding…though why she visited a florist in New York I don't know…then again she was probably planning her wedding for years!) yeah that sounds about right. She's willing to offer an invite to the wedding and all hamburgers that you can eat. Free? Deal! We'll call with the name of the place in a little bit" I said hanging up the phone.

"Florist is all set. We just need Alice to give us the name of the place of the ceremony and reception." I said.

"now that that's done…what are we going to do for her wedding shower…you know she's expecting big…and I don't think we can get that many people out here on short notice…I don't know how we're going to do it for the actual wedding never mind something that's supposed to happen before hand!" Rosalie said shaking her head.

"well I don't know about the people but I have an idea for the place…I'm sure Gucci would accommodate us. That's been her dream ever since she was a little girl. Trust me I've heard her rants about it. Besides we can easily make it a surprise and tell her we're going shopping. She loves shopping so much that she wont suspect a thing." I said.

" that's great!" Rosalie said.

"you know I wish I could go on your honeymoon with you…I'm afraid to be alone with Alice. As the only female in the wedding party present she's going to torture me this week." Rosalie said. Poor Rosalie…unwillingly subjected to Alice's craziness.

" alright guys …the bride _is _back. Lets talk cakes…I found the perfect one. I already paid for it. You have to see it goes so well. Its pink with red and white accents! The topper is a little bride and groom standing in front of this big red heart…and the bride is wearing a miniature version of my dress. Its soooooooo cute!" Alice said walking in.

"Jesus Alice your like Rambo-bride" Rosalie whistled.

"I've been preparing for this day ever since I was four years old…now that the time is here all I need to do is set my plan into motion. Now I was thinking for my reception dinner. The food is going to be brought to us by waiters. I want everyone to start off with salad. Then we have a pallet cleanser. Then soup. Then that pallet cleanser again. Then we all have pork roast . Then Pallet cleanser. Then we all have ice cream. Then I cut the cake and everyone has that." Alice said.

"Your going to have an eight course meal…Alice are you insane…how is anyone going to eat that?" I gasped.

"they'll make room. Besides they'll dance it off. Now I need help picking out songs…I already know what our first dance is going to be but I need a few others. Here's a few cd's to listen to. Tell me what songs to pick!" Alice said handing over a stack of cd's that reached the ceiling. There must have been at least 40 cd's in the pile.

"I need your lists by morning!" Alice said walking away. Considering it was 8 pm and Edward and I were going to be leaving at 6 the next morning there wasn't going to be much time to sleep.

" is she insane or just _stupid_…she knows that your leaving for your honeymoon early tomorrow morning and she's demanding this now…how would she like it if it were her. If the shoe was on the other foot and she was already married and planning your wedding and you were like 'here I need the list by tomorrow!' when she was supposed to leave early tomorrow morning. She wouldn't like it at all…no matter what she says!" Rosalie hissed. We shook our heads and sat down. Edward volunteered to help us out to make the time go by faster. We placed the cd's into the only stereo in the room and started listening one by one. At the third cd everyone looked at each other.

"does all Alice ever want to listen to is techno…even the slow songs are fast paced!" I moaned as the song switched to more techno music.

"by the end of the night no one is going to be dancing because they're going to get bored of the music!" Rosalie said shaking her head.

"you know I have my Ipod on me…I have some great slow songs that don't sound like this. Maybe we could mix those in?" Rosalie asked.

"its worth a shot." I said. Rosalie went into her room and returned with her ipod.

"'when a man loves a woman' and 'I swear'….definitely. What is Alice planning on for her first dance with Jasper…she said she had it picked out…do you know?" Rosalie asked.

"ugh we know…they're going to be waltzing to 'Chapel of Love' lyrics." I said.

"are you serious…she's going to have the most cliché wedding ever…seriously its like she started to plan this wedding yesterday…oh wait she did!" Rosalie said.

"you would think that she learned her lesson from your wedding …not to have like a 2 second engagement…you know….give herself a little bit of a break…like even a six month engagement or something. No the minute she gets the ring on her finger she starts planning the ceremony. Doesn't she remember a few weeks ago…snapping under the pressure. We had to bail her out of jail because she attacked a florist….something about screwing up your bridal bouquet…Alice said she wanted purple orchids and they put in blue. I don't know why she got so upset …your color scheme was blue and purple so it still went. The police report said she jumped the counter and punched the florist out the minute they brought it over to her. Luckily they dropped the charges because they found out that the florist stole from her. And that wasn't even for her wedding…I'm afraid for this one!" Rosalie said shuttering with the memories.

"are you sure I cant come with you guys!" Rosalie moaned.

"Believe us Rose…if we had the forethought that Alice would be engaged when we left we would of got tickets for both you and Emmett. But I think its too late now…they said that they had two seats left after we booked it and that was over a month ago." I said.

"I understand. Could you leave some money though…that way if Alice gets arrested again Jazz and I don't have to fully pay out of our own pockets for her bail. God knows what she's going to do know with her own wedding!" Rosalie said.

" don't worry we will." Edward said.

We taped our list to Alice's door early the next morning and then headed to the airport. I couldn't wait for this. A week fully alone with Edward. I sighed. This was going to be the best vacation ever! As the plane took off Edward rubbed my hand and I rested my head against his shoulder. He kissed my head as the airplane went air bound.

"are you ready for our honeymoon?" Edward asked with a light chuckle in his voice.

"one week…no one with us…not even my sister or your brother…I've been ready for a while. I've been looking forward to this forever….and you?" I asked smiling.

"you took the words right out of my mouth." Edward responded beaming back. Our lips met at that point. I fell asleep on his shoulder a while after they served dinner that night.

We took a taxi from the airport to the mansion. Walking to the door we noticed that it was unlocked but we figured that the maid service had left it open for us. The house was extremely quiet as we turned on all the lights. We could hear the lapping of the water from the lake pool. I could tell that we were thinking the same thing…swimming. Edward playfully scooped me up and carried me up the stairs. Once we got up the stairs we could hear Tanya singing "do you really want to hurt me". Edward and I looked at each other in fear and opened the door to his room. There was candles lit everywhere and Tanya was sprawled out on the bed wearing almost nothing and eating chocolate covered strawberries, slowly lowering them into her mouth and moaning seductively.

"Eddie!" Tanya moaned turning towards Edward and pretending not to see me. Her voice was so husky that she sounded like a transvestite.

" What are you doing here….what the fuck are you doing here?" Edward asked pissed off.

"now now Eddie…is that any way to talk to your wife?" Tanya asked honestly believing that she was his wife. The bottom part of her barely there lingerie read " C" on it. This girl is definitely certifiable.

"I'm calling the cops!" I said to Edward.

"Wait lets just try to get her out right now…this is our honeymoon …I really don't feel like dealing with the cops." Edward said.

"but Edward she's not going to leave…she's clearly deluded herself into thinking she's your wife…she's not stable!" I said.

"deluded my self…honey I have the paper's right here!" Tanya said pulling out papers that she clearly printed on Microsoft word. Edward's "signature" was in Tanya's handwriting and said " Eddie Cullen". This was worse then I thought. Edward looked horrified.

"See!" I whispered in his ear.

"So being Mrs. Edward Cullen _I'm _going to call the cops on _YOU_…your disturbing me and my husband's honeymoon time!" Tanya said grabbing the phone. It took all my strength not to hit her. My phone went off at that point. Alice's voice was on the other end.

"We've alerted the Italian authorities about Tanya…they should be there with in minutes. Jazzy and I are on our way to help deal with her…we wont disturb you…we'll just be there to make sure she stays locked up because in most of my visions she got out. You wont even know we're here!" Alice said not even pausing to greet us.

" Alice we just saw her…how did you?" I started to ask.

"I've got impeccable timing…not as good as I thought …I was hoping to get you in the car on the way there but that's how these things go!" Alice said. I could hear a lot of commotion in the background.

"Alice where are you?" I asked.

"I'm at LaGuardia right now…our plane boards in a few minutes…Rose was pissed…she wanted to go but I made her stay here…with out someone here in constant contact with people my wedding plans would go down the drain. Rose knows specifically what I want and when I want it. So she's been left in charge…plus I couldn't stand such a long flight again with Emmett. So anyways there's nothing to worry about…Jasper already told the police Tanya's hair color, height, weight and psychological disorder. Told them that Tanya developed schizophrenia with accompanying psychosis…they're sending an ambulance to take her to a local mental hospital to be evaluated." Alice said hanging up as Tanya started to talk to herself.

"I know I'm Mrs. Edward Cullen…I'll _prove _it. I do have the evidence. I just forgot where I put it. Oh your right…I put it under the desk with his picture on it." Tanya mumbled to herself rocking back and forth. This was getting bad. Her hand was doing a strange twitch like movement. I grabbed Edward's hand out of fear.

"DON'T YOU TOUCH HIM YOU LITTLE BITCH…HE'S OURS…I MEAN MINE!" Tanya roared launching herself in the air. Edward jumped in front and blocked Tanya from getting at me. I honestly was afraid for my life.

"Eddie move out of the way darling…I need to deal with this intruder!" Tanya said trying to shove Edward out of the way…but he wouldn't budge.

"Tanya the cops will be here in as little bit!" Edward growled.

"Alright they'll be here…they'll take her away!" Tanya said walking away and mumbling to herself. Then out of no where this deep voice came out of Tanya.

"HE LIES!" The deep voice said. What the fuck…was she possessed or something?

"no he doesn't!" Tanya said in her normal voice now.

"Holy shit!" Edward said genuinely afraid. He grabbed my hand protectively. He looked like he wanted to do more but was afraid of setting the beast off.

"ooh… lets think…was he serious when he signed those papers?" a croaky voice came out of her.

"Of course he was!" Tanya's normal voice said. Where was Jasper when you needed him? I started praying at that point.

"I was there when he said his vows to me… ' I will love you always and forever'….he meant every word!" Tanya continued on in her normal voice

"TANYA WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS…I SAID THAT TO YOU…RICARDO!" The deep voice said. Oh my god…maybe she never dated Ricardo…he was a voice in her head. Come to think of it…all the pictures of "Ricardo" on face book did seem different…like they were of different men. And Alice only heard her voice in a stall…she never saw her actually on a phone. Maybe the voice known as "Ricardo" learned English. I looked to see Edward's jaw dropped in shock.

" YOU…ALL SHE THINKS ABOUT IS _YOU…_THEY'RE ALL OBSESSED WITH YOU!" the Ricardo voice said. Great…another Edward Cullen Fan Club…all wrapped up in one person. I was really scared at this point…I mean my husband was the target of this psycho's obsession. What if she tried to hurt him in the attempt to make him hers forever or some fuck up thing like that.

"YOU NEED FUCKING HELP MAN!" Edward roared as we tried to get out of the room. Psycho Tan-hoe blocked the exit.

" we're I mean I'm just fine thank you every much!" Tanya said. Just then the police broke down the door knocking Tanya to the floor.

"is this her sir?" a police man asked Edward while pointing at Tanya

"The one and only…take her away boys!" Edward exclaimed as they placed Tanya on a stretcher.

"WAIT A MINUTE…SHE'S THE CRAZY ONE…YOU HAVE THE WRONG PERSON…LET GO OF ME…EDDIE…EDDIEEEEEE! I LOVE YOU EDDIE…TELL THEM THE TRUTH…TELL THEM THAT WE'RE MARRIED…LET ME GO…LET ME GO!" Tanya shouted as they wheeled her away.

"Tell them to evaluate her for D.I.D as well!" Edward called after them.

"Oh thank god that's over with!" Edward said wrapping his arm around me and holding me close.

" you know I always thought there was something strange with her…she always seemed like she was trying to hide things. Maybe that explains why she was so paranoid though during our relationship…especially towards the end…and I thought it was all because she was cheating. " Edward continued on.

" well at least she's going somewhere where she can get the help she needs…and hopefully not follow us back to the U.S. I'm surprised Jasper didn't pick up on it sooner though." I said.

" well she never told us she heard or saw anything…Alice must of told Jasper the contents of her vision in order for him to get that diagnosis…she was actually skilled at hiding everything." Edward said.

"wow that's fucked." I said.

" yeah but at least she is getting help…or at least getting locked away for the rest of eternity…the night mare of her randomly showing up wherever we go is finally over." Edward said . Just then we heard a crashing noise from down stairs and there was a bunch of screaming.

"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! LET US AT HERRRRRRRRRRR!" Tanya and the two other voices were roaring in unison. Edward locked the door and barricaded it before she could run back up the stairs. We could hear the sounds of her hitting the floor as the police tackled her.

"oh shit get a priest!" Someone said in English as what sounded like a little girl's voice started speaking Latin.. Since when did Tanya know Latin…they didn't even offer that at the school! Edward was staring horrified.

" my ex girlfriend is possessed by Satan…I always thought she was evil!" Edward gasped. From the sound of it I guessed someone was praying downstairs but I couldn't be sure because it was in Italian.

" fre re jaqua fre re jaqua…dome vous dome vous!" Tanya was singing from downstairs. Tapped!

A little while later they were able to calm her down and finally get her out of the house. Edward slinged his arm around me as we watched everyone leave from an upstairs bedroom window.

"still feel like swimming?" I asked looking at him.

" surprisingly yes!" Edward said as we headed back to get our stuff. After we had our bathing suits on he playfully scooped me up over his shoulder and ran towards the pool. Light laugher filled the way. Once we reached the pool we played two person volleyball. Since my volleyball skills were known all around high school (courtesy of a certain pixie sister of mine who promised to be my partner one day but instead decided to skip class leaving me with Emmett and Mike "the volleyball champ" Newton by myself…I hit the net, Mike and Emmett's heads all in one shot) Edward went easy on me. I think he purposely botched some plays just to make me feel better. The fact that he was trying to make me feel better made me feel better. We both laughed as I finished the game with a spike…the only spike that I didn't screw up…ever.

"you must bee a good teacher…I've never been able to spike a ball!" I laughed as Edward swam over to me . We then started a huge splash fight in which again there was no clear defined winner. I swore it was him but he said it was me and we had a minor argument about this for the next ten minutes before we just gave up and declared it a draw.

"so want to go into the Jacuzzi?" Edward asked pointing to the Jacuzzi cave.

" do you want to kill me…I cant climb that!" I said pointing at the rock wall.

"who said _you_ had to climb anything!" Edward said picking me up and placing me on his back. How he was able to support my weight and climb up to the Jacuzzi I will never know. Getting in the water was perfect. Not too hot and not too cold either. The heat nearly made me fall asleep in Edward's lap. It was at that point that our lips met. The flames of passion roared to life .The rest as they say is history.

The next morning I awoke in Edward's arms. I couldn't believe that we were here. On our honeymoon. Back at the place where everything started. It seemed perfect…right for us to be here. We didn't even think twice about it when the place was offered up. A light smell of strawberries filled the air and I looked to see freshly made strawberry pancakes sitting on a tray in front of me. Edward was already digging in.

"Thank you…it tastes wonderful!" I said smiling at Edward as I took a bite.

" it was nothing." Edward beamed back. It was then that Alice called. We placed her on speaker phone.

"hey we're at the hospital right now…I lied…told them that I was Tanya's sister and Jasper was her brother….if you see the names Maria and Peter Denali in any of the news papers they're probably talking about Tanya just so you know…the doctor told us that Jasper's diagnosis was right…and she seems to have some sick obsession with hurting Bella to get to you…not that we didn't know that but it came out in full force when she was first brought in…apparently she broke through restraints and ran around the hospital looking for Bella…something about how her "eddiekins surely had to be here to lend a hand" and that "the evil ugly witch was sure to follow". She tried recruiting Jasper to help her out but it didn't work. In fact that's how they found her again. You had to see it…when they brought her back in she looked like Hannibal Lector. They even had the gurney standing up with a spit mask on. She gave me a dirty look as they brought her by me. Jasper gave them permission to sedate her. They told us that she was the most volatile patient in the hospital. It was a circus when we got there…all the doctors were looking for her…they shut the hospital down…Jazz and I barely made it in there!" Alice said. Edward and I gave "holy shit" looks at each other.

" and everyone always joked that Alice was the perfect case study…I don't have a ex girlfriend who has deluded herself into thinking that she married me and that Alice is my god damn mistress…I think we just found someone that out ranked Alice in craziness. I feel bad for the poor souls that have to take care of her…she's damaged goods. I don't think she'll ever be normal!" Jasper said. At this point we could hear in what was in translated English "CODE ORANGE CODE ORANGE DERANGED PATIENT ESCAPED THE PSYCHATRIC UNIT…ALL SECURITY AVAILABLE…PATIENT IS FEMALE BUT GOES BY THE NAMES OF TANYA AND RICARDO. BLOCK EXITS IMMEDIATELY!" in the background followed by loud crashing noises.

"Oh shit that's not good…oh fuck here she comes…well at least I have my dart gun!" Jasper said as we could hear roaring sounds right next to him. Then there was what sounded like a scuffle.

"FUCK YOU BITCH!" Alice was shouting. The three voices came out of Tanya.

"I can do that too…your not kidding anyone with that bullshit….aghhhhh!" Alice said changing the pitches of her voice.

"outchhhhhhh!"

"Alice!" Jasper screamed and there was the sound of the dart gun going off…followed by an extremely loud thud.

" I've always wanted to do that to her!" Jasper snarled as there was a squeaking sound.

"good shot!" Alice said as the phone disconnected.

" hopefully she never gets out!" Edward said shaking his head.

"Well that was an eventful start to our vacation!" I said. He was right…hopefully she never got out. The next person to call was Rosalie.

" I want to know what's going on…are you guys okay?" Rosalie asked on speaker phone

"Just fine…Tanya never got the chance to do any permanent damage fortunately. Rose she was out of her freaking mind. She looked like a wild animal or something. I never saw anything like it!" Edward said.

"I always said that bitch was tapped!" Rosalie said.

" so does Emmett have some crazy bitch thing that I should worry about?" Rosalie asked.

"Actually he went out with her cousin…nuff said." Edward said.

" great….your telling me that there is_ more_ than one Tanya out there and I could be on the hit list?" Rosalie asked horrified.

" yeah horrifying I know…last time we saw her was when Emmett dumped her over the summer…caused a huge scene in the air port. Haven't heard from her since…I don't think she died since wackjob would of surely mentioned something like that even in her delusional state. She just hasn't shown herself like her ever persistent cousin. To put another way…Jasper hated her and Jasper doesn't hate anyone besides Tanya." I said.

"Ugh glad I didn't meet that one…gonna have to get Emmett to give me a description. If she's related to nut job there's bound to be some defects with her as well. She'll pop up one of these days I have a feeling. Nauseating to think about." Rosalie said.

" oh I have to go…I forgot I have to check up on Alice's eighteen course meal…something about making sure that they didn't screw up the order…and she wants me to check up on the place." Rosalie said hanging up the phone. It sounded like Rosalie wouldn't care less if Alice's place got destroyed and the food burned.

"so what's on the agenda today?" I asked.

" whatever you want." Edward said.

" okay I was thinking we could go out to eat…drive around a little …see what trouble we could get ourselves into!" I said.

" alright…sounds great!" Edward said smiling.


	37. restaurant

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 37

BPV

We found this small restaurant in town that looked really good. Edward paid the people off so we sat in the most secluded part of the restaurant. Even though it was noon this part of the restaurant was dark enough to require candle light. The way the light played with his eyes made me swoon. I had to catch myself mid gasp. The god like creature staring back at me laughed.

" don't worry love …your secret's safe with me!" Edward lightly laughed and flashed my favorite crooked smile. I beamed back.

"don't look now…but the waitress is staring at you!" I snickered as both our eyes revered to a corner of the room where our waitress was pretending not to look at us. Edward probably thought I was crazy…until her eyes locked with his. She gasped, dropped the spaghetti that she was serving the nearest table…an elderly couple five tables away and then started scrubbing the table frantically. She then ran over to our table.

"I am soo sorry I kept you guys waiting…you do speak English right?" the waitress asked in a thick Italian accent. I noticed that she pointedly glared at Edward. To her I could have been a fly on the wall.

"yes we do." I said.

"Alright well our specials today are Cesar Salad, this delicious meat combo, and any soup on the menu…so lets start with drinks…what do you want to drink hot stuff?" the waitress asked staring hungrily at Edward.

"Two cokes." Edward said not even giving her the time of day.

" alright two cokes it is then…I'll be right back with that!" the overzealous waitress said skipping away. Two minutes later I could see the female wait staff glaring at our table. So she had friends!

" she must be some relative of his…like his little sister or something…they cant be together!" The ones who were clearly from English speaking backgrounds whispered. I couldn't understand what the others said but it was clearly about Edward since they were staring at him like he was a piece of meat.

"what is it with people thinking you're my sister or something…we don't even look alike!" Edward growled. He picked my hand up and kissed it in front of his groupies. If we thought that would give them a clue we were wrong…all it did was cause some girls to sway on their feet.

" I wonder if he'll give any of us his number?" a girl asked.

" if not I'll give him mine!" someone said. Edward looked like he'd rip up the paper if that was the case.

" where was that hunk of man when I was in school?" an older waitress asked creepily grilling us.

" probably in utero!" Edward mumbled. She looked like she was at least 40 years old.

" I wonder if there's a brother…or a really hot cousin?" someone asked. If Alice were here!

" Somebody…go ask him!" Someone whispered. Just then the elderly woman stood up annoyed.

" leave them alone you little boothanas…that's right your all boothanas…who cares who they are…you're here to do a job…now do it…SCRAM!" the woman shouted with more power in her voice then I thought her body could support. She reminded me a lot of Alice. Just then she turned around and I saw Alice' s face. No wonder why she reminded me of Alice.

"hi guys…I know I said that I wouldn't interrupt your vacation but I saw this…and believe me it wasn't going to end well if I didn't interfere. Well put it this way …I would have had to drive my Porsche up someone's ass and like fifteen on two is never a fair fight…so here I am…do you know how hard it was disguising Jazzy…I really should work for Hollywood!" Alice said pointing to the old man who waived and smiled. I wondered how Alice could create wrinkles on Jasper's skin.

"do you know how hard it was to get the putty to match Jasper's skin exactly…under those fluorescents!" Alice gripped.

" Alice aren't you supposed to be guarding Tanya in the mental hospital?" I asked.

" no worries…they locked her in a padded room and she's heavily sedated. From what I saw she's not going anywhere for a while!" Alice said pointing to her forehead.

" so what's going on guys…now that we're all here…tell me what a honeymoon feels like!" Alice pulling up a chair. The people looked confused…they probably thought Alice was our grandma.

"Let them stare….boothanas!" Alice said grilling them.

" Alice how did you get the clothes for this?" I asked.

"I may of pillaged through a patient at the insane asylum's wardrobe…not that they're going to have much use for it…they all wear gowns!" Alice said.

"Very resourceful!' Edward said sarcastically.

"Thank you…seeing as how I didn't have access to your wife's wardrobe I was desperate!" Alice said.

" hey my clothes aren't _that _bad!" I said. Alice snorted.

"So anyways…details…you owe me…I need to know what to expect…what to bring!" Alice chirped.

"Alice we haven't been here that long!" I exclaimed.

"is that code for something?" Alice asked obnoxiously.

"yeah its code for shut the fuck up!" Edward said annoyed.

" Edward as your sister in law x 2 I advise you not to speak to me that way!" Alice said.

" its not my fault you're my wife's sister and out of all the people on this planet Jasper fell in love with you…you have to accept that there is some details in people's lives that you shouldn't be privy to…just like there's certain details of your life that we all shouldn't have to be subjected to…I really don't like having to hear about my brother's sex life…especially with some weird nympho!" Edward growled shaking his head.

"Edward I can make your life a living hell…don't say I didn't warn you!" Alice hissed before walking away.

" oh she sounds pissed…that's not good…last time I saw that look in her eye Emmett woke up bald…Edward why don't you go over and apologize to her…she can be really scary when she's mad!" I said as we looked over at her table. She was glaring at us while elderly Jasper was eating his spaghetti. She looked even scarier with a 60 years older face.

"I'm afraid to go over there!" Edward said.

"I'm just going to say this now…she is permanently your sister in law so I would attempt to try and get along with her because it gets ugly when she doesn't get along with someone. She is helping us with Tanya…she could let Tanya out… 'whoops I didn't know that door was supposed to be locked!'" I said the last part in an Alice voice.

"oh alright!" Edward moaned getting up and walking over to the table. I watched as both Edward and Jasper scolded Alice. At the end of it though the three of them were laughing. Alice and Edward then walked back over to me.

"I'm really sorry Alice…I didn't mean to be mean." Edward said sitting down.

" I know…I totally understand…some people are more private then me…Jasper for example…he's begged me a couple of times not to be as loud as I am but he's coming to accept it. Hell he's coming out of his shell a little himself!" Alice said. Oh we knew that…our whole wing at the hotels we stayed at recently knew that. I swore Alice shattered a couple of glasses of mine.

" bygones?" Edward asked holding out his hand.

"bygones!" Alice said happily shaking it.

" now back to business…honeymoon?" Alice asked.

"Well after Tanya we swam and now we're here!" I said.

"anything else?" Alice asked. Curiosity sparkled in her eye.

"Alice you're a perv…I'm not talking about that…he's right here!" I said.

" oh Bells …you shouldn't hold out on details just because your hubby's here…help a sister out…he shouldn't mind you giving away juicy details…he should be proud!" Alice drilled.

"Alice how would you like it if we sat in the room and watched you and Jasper having sex-because getting details so you could imagine being there in your sick perverted mind is practically the same thing- oh wait you'd love that!" Edward said with a chuckle in his voice.

" you just gave me an idea Edward!" Alice said excitedly.

"UGH ALICE THAT'S NASTY!" Edward gagged.

" what…sex-even in a hallway- is not nasty…its natural!" Alice said walking away.

"and I thought I'd seen it all with your sister…I guess I haven't…she's nuts!" Edward said shaking his head.

"honestly how did you deal with her for all this time!" Edward said.

" well it was very interesting to say the least!" I snickered.

" it must have been!" Edward said smiling.

"may I take your orders now…and possibly your number?" The pest waitress asked finally venturing back and eyeing Edward out some more.. Alice scared the shit out of her. Her name tag read Irena. She looked like a girl that Emmett would of gone after if he didn't have Rosalie. Personally Rosalie was better and more real looking then this girl. I thought that her boob would explode all over our food…that's how fake they looked.

"My wife and I will have the pasta explosion for two!" Edward said handing the menu over to her. As she walked away she jiggled her surgically perfected ass in Edward's face. When she delivered the food she had two plates in her hand. She placed the empty one down in front of Edward and the other one down in front of me. We figured that she brought two in case we didn't want to share a plate until Edward looked down. Written in ketchup was _My name's Irena…we all know the truth, dump the dud and call me…my number is 899-0991! Talk to you later sexy!_

Edward looked grossed out. He shook his head and called the waitress back over.

"Excuse me miss…we don't need this extra plate but thank you anyways!" Edward said handing back the plate with an annoyed look on his face. Her shoulders slumped slightly and she took the plate. As the waitress walked by Alice's table two plates of spaghetti magically flew in the air and landed in Irena's face. Jasper and Alice were giving each other high fives.

" two peas in a pod!" Edward said laughing lightly.

"Don't you just love periodic twitches that broken lockers give you!" Jasper laughed walking over behind Alice.

"Screw her…what part of 'my wife' does she not understand…or maybe she doesn't care!" Alice huffed.

" well if she tries anything else…my fully loaded sundae with rainbow sprinkles and a cherry on top will end up in her head of fake hair…I could spot those poorly done hair extensions a mile away. She's not fooling anyone!" Alice said as an evil smirk spread across her face and she dug into her massive sundae which she brought over with her.

"yum cookie dough…awesome!' Alice said digging in.

" Alice only you!" I said.

" what…just because a hoe doesn't know when to back off doesn't mean we should suffer for it! Besides I heard what her friends said about 'having a brother or hot cousin'…seriously that's desperate…they're just jealous…its like they haven't seen a man before…yeash!" Alice said. Just then her eyes glazed over and she looked up at the ceiling. It looked kind of freaky. After five minutes her eyes cleared up and her head lowered.

"Crap they told me that the new pills they put me on should give me a feeling when that was going to happen…its just making everything more frequent…anyways…don't go home for the next couple hours…I don't know how but the bitch broke out…looks like Jasper and I have to go Tanya hunting!' Alice said.

"But I thought you said that she was sedated and locked up…that she wouldn't get out for a while?" I gasped shocked as Alice hurriedly paid the bill.

" I know that's what I thought…she woke up…over powered the sedative I think…it wasn't a conscious decisions she made three hours ago…from the looks of it she just took the opportunity when it presented itself. Someone forgot to lock her door and went on break!" Alice said annoyed. We asked for our bill and followed them out. Jasper went behind the bright yellow rental Porsche that they had scored. Alice really loved that car.

" be very very quiet…we're hunting Tanya's!" Jasper said laughing to himself while cleaning his dart gun. They jumped into the car and speed off in the direction of the mansion. We went into our car and went the opposite way. We found ourselves on the outskirts of the city a while later. The sun was starting to set.

"I am so sorry about all of this…everywhere we go my psycho ex girlfriend haunts us…the only place she hasn't gotten to yet is New York and that's bound to happen sooner or later." Edward sighed.

"Don't be…everyone's got a little bit of baggage…Mine's name is Jacob…I think what he did to me shows that he has a few screws loose too…besides it's not all bad…look at where we are…a pretty field watching the sun set together. Nothing can be more romantic then that. And if she does manage to break out, board a plane and meet us in New York well lets just say that she'll wish she was locked in a padded room by herself!" I said.

"your right…its not all bad…I have you and that's all that matters. We have each other…stuck together for ever!" Edward said the last part jokingly.

" like glue!" I added laughing.

" well its going to sound corny but there's no one I'd rather be stuck with." Edward said turning to me and smiling.

"well I should hope so…luckily I feel the same way!" I said. His face got close to mine. He brushed his index finger against my cheekbone.

"I love you!" he whispered. Our lips then met. He scooped me up and carried me to the back seat of the car.

"I love you too!" I whispered before we were lost in passionate oblivion.


	38. Alice's plan

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 38

BPV

The next week was uneventful in that we basically didn't leave Edward's house. Tanya stayed away…Alice and Jasper successfully intercepted her trying to break into Edward's house…this time with a veil on her head . Alice said it was a cheesy little kids veil…something that should have been burned a long time ago. I guess when they pulled up she was trying to break the lock of the front door. Alice punched her out because Tanya kept on saying "Hello brother in law of mine!" while peering over their shoulders. Apparently she's now boarding a flight to Seattle where the police will be waiting to give her an escort to the hospital. Alice kept on saying "Thank god for connections!". we were aloud to go into the house after they had deemed it okay. Alice and Jasper volunteered to go back to a hotel for a few nights. I could see Alice shooting glances my way…I had a feeling that twenty questions were going to fly out of her mouth when we next met. Walking into Edward's room we could tell that Alice was the one that searched this. There was lit candles on the piano and the counter. Sitting on the bed was 1 dozen roses, a Hershey's kiss that was life sized and had a holographic picture of us kissing at our wedding, skimpy lingerie that still had the price tag on it, and a picture of Alice and Jasper- both posing like models…poor Jasper , we could tell from the picture that this was not how he wanted to pose for his engagement picture-with a note on the back.

"What do you think for our engagement pic?…let me know asap!…by the way have fun…don't get too boring…I want details…they're owed to me big time…Allie!"was written above a taped condom. It looked like she drew a heart and wrote _E+B=Forever love on the package_.

"Alice!" I groaned detaching the condom from the picture. I did have to admit that her heart was in the right place though.

" I think your sister should get a room next to Tanya when we get back!" Edward joked as he opened up a closet and a leopard print sex swing fell on him.

"What the hell is this?" Edward asked grossed out. We then found a note on it.

__

"no worries…this is mine and Jaspers…just storing it in here for when we use the house next month…feel free to use it if you want to…or anything else in the closet ;)…just don't tell your husband they're in here! A!"

We peeked in the closet to find a variety of lotions, oils, lubricants, whips, costumes, and scary looking toy's that I didn't even want to know what they were used for. Edward closed the closet horrified.

"I told you so…I wasn't exaggerating when I said that people thought she was going to be a dominatrix!" I said extremely grossed out. I did not need to know that about Alice.

"how do I look at my brother the same way ever again?" Edward asked shocked.

"the way I _always_ look at my sister…I've always known my sister's a freak…believe me you come to terms with it!" I said reassuringly.

"didn't Alice think that I would figure that out…it is my closet!" Edward said shaking his head. My phone lit up with a text message.

__

"Sorry …I didn't see that coming till last minute…Jasper's pissed…see I kinda didn't tell him…I wanted it to be my gift to him. He said "no wonder why the security person at the airport looked at him weird" Anyways if you could just keep quiet about this little incident it would be greatly appreciated. By the way its called a sex swing Edward…Jasper and I just used it last night in the mental hospital…it was so fun…all you have to do is…"

We could tell that she was cut off by Jasper at this point. He must of read what she was writing and decided to intervene. The man had impeccable timing sometimes. Knowing those two he could probably sense the pleasure she was getting out of this.

"So wait a minute…if the closet if filled with that stuff…then where's our clothes?" I asked realizing that not only was our clothes missing from the closet and the drawers were filled with only lingerie, negligee and boxers. Our suit cases had disappeared as well. Opening up the first drawer we found a third note. What was Alice on a ticketing parade? Geeze if these were speeding tickets she'd make Charlie proud with the amount she issued.

__

" oh by the way…forgot to mention this in the other two notes. Figured you really didn't need clothes since you weren't going to leave the house…your departure clothes are located in the master bedroom and Jasper is unknowingly hosting your bathing suits in his room. By the way if you go into his room just be prepared…I may of left something's in there that would turn Charlie's hair white. You know the standard stuff- vibrators, whips, strawberry flavored oils, voice recordings, video cameras…oh yeah and don't turn on Jasper's TV btw. Love ya and have lots of fun tonight…A!"

" So I guess Alice limited our options on what to do tonight!" Edward said lightly chuckling.

" I guess so…give me five minutes!" I said smiling back and heading towards the bathroom.

"I'll be waiting!" Edward called after me.

" you better be!" I joked.

After I came back into the bedroom passion struck full force. That was how we spent the rest of the week.

Thursday afternoon was our first attempt at leaving the bedroom for something other than food. We decided to go swimming so we had to go into Jasper's room to get our stuff. Figuring it would be faster we just decided to change in there. As I had finished getting ready Edward caught sight of a TV guide.

"Ooh I forgot…Gray's anatomy is on right now…looks like it's a good episode…lets watch for a few minutes!" Edward said heading towards Jasper's television. Alice's face filled the camera with a hotel room in the background. Marvin Gay's "Lets get it on" played through the air as she threw Jasper down on the bed. Alice was singing to the music as she jumped onto the sex swing completely naked. Wow…did not need to see this much of my sister.

"okay this isn't grays anatomy…more like Alice's anatomy…we don't need to see this!" Edward said flicking off the TV as fast as possible. Looking to the side we saw about five DVD's.

"Alice in Wonderland vol.1, Alice in Wonderland vol.2...okay guess Jasper's been having fun in Wonderland!" Edward said cringing looking at the first two tapes. Volume one had a picture of Alice dressed up like Alice in Alice in Wonderland only her costume was in lingerie. Jasper was dressed up like the mad hatter.

"holy shit… god. I never thought Jasper would make a sex tape…never mind five!" Edward gasped.

"Speak for yourself…I always knew Alice would star in one video…be it actress, porn star or what have you." I said. Alice wasn't a slut…she was just very open with her sexuality.

"Bella…your sister needs help." Edward said.

"Well then she's with the right guy…Jasper is in to psychology." I said.

"I think she's beyond Jasper's help!' Edward joked.

"well then I guess she's hopeless!" I joked back.

" you cant blame her…we all get crazy sometimes." Edward laughed.

"if that's true …then you're the craziest of them all!" I laughed back.

"I'd say we're pretty even love…but you haven't seen anything yet!" Edward said scooping me up and running towards the pool. He jumped in with me still in his arms.

The rest of the honeymoon was spent like that. It was the most fun that I had ever had. Waking up the morning that we had to leave , I felt depressed. I wanted to stay here so much longer , but we had to get back to school. Luckily for us we were in and out of class at the same times on the same days again, which gave us optimum time together. I think Alice had something to do with it since when we went to pick our classes they seemed to be miraculously be set up already…with the day of the week that Alice's nuptials were supposed to take place on one of our days off. An email from Alice's phone's email account- which was gloating- confirmed my suspicion.

"I still don't get how Alice knew what classes I needed…I didn't even tell Jasper that and I brought our papers with me here!" Edward said as we finished packing the last suit case ( we found our luggage stuffed in closets downstairs…why Alice would do that I have no clue.)

"Its Alice…she probably snooped around at some point…after all she had enough time to transform your bedroom closet into a dominatrix's dream come true and hide all of our clothes…and its not like we hid everything in a locked drawer. Frankly I'm not that shocked." I said shaking my head. Alice would book our class schedules just so we could have her wedding day off.

" well at least she had enough common sense to put us in class at the same time…she had enough forethought to do that." I said smiling and Edward beamed in agreement. As he placed his arm around me the electrical current flowed through the both of us like a magnetic force. I didn't want to move.

" well it looks like its back to hell!" Edward laughed as the car that was supposed to take us to the airport drove up. As soon as we hit the main highway a yellow Porsche pulled out of nowhere. Alice and Jasper were smiling from the front seats. Alice looked like she was propped up on pillows behind the steering wheel for she was now level with Jasper. She had the look of a race car driver in her eye. Just then Edwards phone went off.

__

"When you get to the ticket station there's a surprise…think of it as a 'belated welcome to the family' gift…A!"

I wondered what Alice was up to this time. Knowing her it was probably something flashy and expensive. I internally groaned. I hoped that she didn't out do herself too much. Edward shook his head at reading the message.

"excuse her…she's just thrilled that there is now more dolls for her to dress up. Give her a few months and it should calm down some." I said.

"I understand…your talking to the brother of Jasper…who sends song-o-grams for every little event." Edward said snickering.

"Well at least this Valentines day he wont have to…he can serenade Alice himself at the reception!" I said joining in on the laughter.

We went up to confirm our tickets and found out that _somehow they were upgraded to first class_. I wonder who did that. I looked at the smiling little pixie who had this suspiciously innocent looking face and half scowled. I was right…expensive and flashy. Not that I wouldn't like riding first class but Alice knew she should of told us that. Her eyes deviated up and to the left.

"Why are you looking at me like that…I didn't upgrade us to first class…really…I don't know what their talking about. Tell them Jazzy…I wasn't near a computer this whole time!" Alice said way too fast and not meeting any of us in the eye.

"Alice I helped you book the tickets…you actually had me look up their flight schedule…and don't you remember you did it on your phone. We looked at your face book right after…you had a message from Violet saying that she was flying out to New York that night to speak with Rosalie. She said that she wanted to be a part of your big event. That she was organizing a crack team of decorators to fly out with her." Jasper said. Alice's eyes then widened.

"Oh shit has anyone heard from Rose recently?" Alice asked slightly nervous.

"Not in the past few days?" I said. I could see why Alice was nervous. Violet was well lets just say she gave Alice a run for her money when it came to dictating everything. Lucky for me my wedding was an Alice Swan production which meant Violet was a subordinate to Alice. This time though…Violet was alone with Rosalie who she didn't know very well. She would try to take everything over. Alice whipped out her phone and dialed. She then placed it on speaker phone

"Hello?" Rosalie asked with a weird tone in her voice.

"Rose its us!" Alice said.

"OH THANK GOD. WHEN ARE YOU GUYS COMING HOME? I CANT TAKE HER ANY MORE. EVERYTHING IS WRONG IN HER EYES!…YOU KNOW HOW YOU SAID PASSION FRUIT RED FOR THE TABLE CLOTHES. WELL THAT'S WHAT I TOLD THE PEOPLE AND WHEN I BROUGHT THEM HOME ALL I GET IS 'HUMPH SHE SAID PASSION FRUIT RED… NOT THAT COLOR…ITS UGLY!' AND THEN SHE BRINGS HOME THE SAME THING AND SAID THAT YOU WOULD LIKE IT BETTER. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT PERSONALLY IF I WANTED TO GO THE SAME COLOR I WOULD OF AGREED WITH ME IN THE FIRST PLACE. ALICE I'VE TRIED TO GO BY YOUR INSTRUCTIONS BUT DON'T BE SHOCKED IF WHEN YOU COME BACK EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT!…EVEN EMMETT'S AFRAID OF HER!" Rosalie sobbed into the phone.

"ALICE IS THAT YOU…DISREGUARD EVERYTHING THAT GIRL SAID…SHE TOTALLY SCREWED EVERYTHING UP. YOU SAID PASSION FRUIT AND SHE CAME BACK WITH THIS HIDEOUS THING…IT WAS ALMOST FIRE ENGINE RED!" Violet said grabbing the phone. We could hear a scuffle break out. Rosalie and Violet's voices were echoing from the other end. We all shook our heads. My phone then went off. It was a picture of two table cloths that looked the same. A hand was in the corner of the picture.

"looks like Rose was telling the truth…I'm going to have a little talk with Violet about listening to my instructions again. Ugh this isn't going to go over well at all!" Alice moaned.

"Violet….Violet…though the table cloth you picked out is really nice it's the same thing as Roses just with a more slightly orange hue. Orange is not me no matter how dull. I'm getting married on Valentines day after all…summer colors aren't exactly what I'm looking for. You know as well as I do that red orange just wont do." Alice said.

"I know…but its original Alice!" Violet moaned. I swore I could hear Rosalie beaming from the other end.

" but its not in right now…you know I'm all about being unique…but I'm not having my tables look like summer in the middle of winter. It wont go with the bridesmaids dresses!" Alice said.

"Speaking of bridesmaids dresses Alice…we've yet to see anything!" Rose and Violet said together.

"I want it to be a surprise…trust me though they are soo cute…besides I don't get why your worrying …I know your measurements Rose…its going to fit like a glove!" Alice said hanging up the phone. Alice got a kick out knowing things others didn't.

"ooh this is so exciting…I cant wait to get back to the thick of the action…the flowers…the cake…the credit cards!" Alice said happily.

"Credit cards?" Jasper asked narrowing his eyes.

"silly you don't think I'm going to walk around New York with boat loads of cash now do you…and I can walk to Gucci NY after picking out my veil…its perfect. I don't have to stop at the ATM. Besides we're rich…we can pay it off!" Alice said blowing everything off.

"Alice technique its your dad that's rich…I would really watch how much you spend…you might not be able to pay it off!" Edward said.

"Oh hogwash…that's what trust funds are for Eddie…I'll have the money to pay it off!" Alice said as if it was a hundred bill and not a fourty five thousand dollar bill.

"Alice your putting serious cash towards this wedding…its not like your buying a pocket book…your buying a wedding ceremony. You've already asked for open bar all night long and instead of throwing rice we're releasing a thousand doves. You and Jasper both have diamond studded wedding bands not to mention what ever surprises we should expect for the reception. Gonna have belly dancers again like you did for the graduation party? Jesters? I'm not trying to be mean…I'm just trying to point out that its already going to be a hefty bill. You really need to think about that before you and Jasper start your married life ten billion dollars in the hole. That's not the best way to start a marriage!" Edward said.

"I know when to control my self thank you very much!" Alice huffed slightly pissed.

"I know…we just don't want to see you guys hurt. After all if you have a bad credit score you wont be able to get a house…" Edward started up.

"Deluxe penthouse!" Alice snorted.

" or get any more cars or anything else that you might need with good credit. If you cant rein it in for yourself then do it for my brother. You don't want him to live as a normal person do you?" Edward snickered

" NEVER!…I had to do that for all these years and I don't want my Jazz Jazz to go through that. Stealing t-shirts because I didn't have twenty dollars to afford it. No limos, driving trucks, having to white out credit card statements…Jazzy should never have to go through that!" Alice said shaken.

"Alice you know damn well it wasn't all that bad…but that's besides the point. You have an opportunity…a serious opportunity…to make your life better and your blowing it all on the wedding. Your in line to be a multi millionare…with all that money you can launch your own clothing lines and make more money off of that…and your blowing through all of it on one day. Does that make any sense even in your head?" I said.

"Alright already I get it…stay away from Gucci until Jasper and I are linked financially." Alice said annoyed.

"good!" everyone said in unison. It was then that the boys went to the bathroom leaving me all alone with the million dollar wedding planner.

"oh I sooo cant wait for my wedding. Its going to be the perfect wedding ceremony. Its going to be all about me! I'll be the star. All eyes are going to look at me!" Alice beamed happily.

"Alice when I got married you said that it was all about 'we"…besides having the perfect ceremony isn't what its all about. Its not about the flowers or the dress or even the cake. Its who you marry that counts. Look at my wedding for example." I said. Just from Alice's excited face I could already tell that something was going to happen that day. There was no such thing as the perfect wedding.

"you say that but we all know that's not true…its all about the ceremony…and Jasper. how everything looks that day affects the rest of your life. You do remember the color of the confetti that flew through the air and landed on your beehive ( Alice wanted this instead of the traditional up do).As a guest you do remember what color baby's breath lined the isle. And the cake…the cake is the panicle…god damn it it's the most important part of the wedding…everyone sees the cake! So while you spout "its all about you and him" it really isn't. Its all about the glam. Besides its going to be about you too…you're the maid of honor…you're the first act and I'm the grand finale!" Alice countered. I had a funny feeling that any wedding Alice was in was going to be about her to some degree.

"don't tell Jasper but I already paid the photographer an extra two grand to keep the shots on me and you. So I'm going to teach you a few poses that I think you should do…first up the ' pretending to pay attention while I'm actually posing for the camera' pose." Alice said shifting her body sideways but making a face towards me. I rolled my eyes. Here we go. My wedding album was full of Alice poses.

"and the 'I'm so happy for her' pose" Alice said holding up a pretend tissue and whipping her eyes.

"Don't worry your bra will be stuffed with Kleenex…everyone in the wedding parties are…except for Rose…she could tape hers down a little bit. Charlie pulled off that pose so well last time…he even managed to squeeze out a few tears…I had to sneak visen …also a napkin and an onion in it…oh well I guess some people are just a natural. I can do that to you too if you want." Alice said.

"Alice its going to look weird if the whole wedding party plus Charlie starts crying out of no where!" I said.

"Oh nonsense…everyone cries at weddings…they're a beautiful celebration of life…just like they cry when a baby's born!" Alice beamed.

" Alice theres a world of difference between two people in a hospital room and a one hundred and fifty person congregation. What are you going to do…hand out onions to every person!" I said.

"actually that's a wonderful idea…should of thought of that myself. When I get back I'm going to have to place some orders. Thanks to your genius plan there wont be a dry eye in the place!" Alice said happily. Oh what the fuck. I should of shut up.

"now face three…'pretending to look at your husband and reminiscing on your wedding day' poise. This is a new twist on my 'dreaming about what my wedding day would look like' pose that I so elegantly pulled off at your wedding. Example!" Alice said whipping out a picture of herself looking off at Jasper. I should of known that was a pose.

" now for my faces…I'm debating between this and this for the 'I'm seeing my husband for the first time' face!" Alice said making two faces of awe.

__

" well your about to get a boat load of practice…here they come!" I said as the boys found us. Just in the nick of time too. Stop Alice from showing me all of her poses. Edward wrapped his arm around me.

"Alice you weren't torturing my wife with those ridiculous poses now were you!" Edward said half joking half serious.

"how did you…" Alice started up.

" it wasn't hard to guess!" Edward said pointing to all the pictures of Alice's poses that were sitting on her lap.

"Alice I thought we agreed that you would _walk_ down the isle like any other bride. You shouldn't have to pose…a wedding is about raw emotions!" Jasper said shaking his head.

"oh Jasper…posing accents the raw emotion…I have a few poses that I want you and Edward to do. Brotherly love and support. Nothing more important at a wedding! Emmett doesn't get a pose…I don't think he's intelligent enough to know how and Rose is a natural…she'll know exactly what to do!" Alice said.

" Alice …sweetheart…do we need to have that talk about forcing people to do things that they don't want to do again!" Jasper warned.

" I understand Jasper…but I've been looking forward to this day since birth…if I say pose…everyone will pose…do you understand!" Alice growled. Jasper looked like he got bit by a rattle snake.

"now…I want you to make this face when you see me…you and you are to look at him for one second and then turn towards me. At this point Bella you deploy the " pretending to pay attention while posing' pose that I taught you. I want you all except you Jazz to follow in her lead. Jazz you actually have to pay attention. When we reach the rings the onions come out!" Alice said making faces.

" onions?" Edward whispered in my ear.

"I'll explain later." I said. Edward nodded. We then practiced the pretending to pay attention pose that Alice taught as she babbled on. She really was going overboard for this. After a little while they called our flight and we were aloud to board.

"Free Champaign!" Alice said sitting down and taking a glass from the flight attendant.

"yum…exactly the kind that will be served at the wedding!" Alice said happily.

We listened to Alice drown on and on about the ceremony until we reached New York. She even talked in her sleep about it. I was so glad when she went into her own dorm with Jasper. Walking in we found everything was in its proper place. Nothing had changed except our marital status since we had last been in this room. Edward wrapped his arms around my waist.

"oh I wish the honeymoon wasn't over!" I moaned.

"Who said it had to end?" Edward asked drawing his face closer to mine. He stopped a centimeter away from my lips.

" I love you!" we whispered together before the space between our lips closed. Next thing I knew we were under the covers. Familiar and extremely powerful passion then consumed the both of us.


	39. Fighter

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 39

BPV

Later on that night I awoke in Edward's arms. The sound of the door creaking open had stirred the both of us. We had forgotten to lock it. Alice was sitting in the doorway in lingerie. While her eyes were open they were wild and blank at the same time. I knew the look immediately. When Alice was younger she used to sleepwalk. Though she had grown out of it by her teen age years the doctors told my parents that extreme stress could cause her to do it again. A couple of times when I used to stay up late doing homework assignments I caught her doing it. She would always have that weird half crazed stare in her face. Edward got up to get her back to her dorm.

"Jasper…who's that…a friend from your human sexuality class?" Alice snored staring at Edward and me. Edward looked slightly shocked.

"you need help with your homework…understanding the anatomy of a threesome?…of course I'll help you!" Alice said lunging in the air. Edward jumped out of the way. Alice landed on the bed and started to hump my leg.

"ALICE WAKE UP…YOUR HAVING A DREAM…WAKE UP!" I roared. Edward pulled her off immediately and held her at arm's length away.

" ooh exotic Jazzy…you like to use paddle's too mystery girl…my type of woman!" Alice moaned. Edward and I were looking at each other horrified.

"ALICE WAKE UP!" I roared even louder. All I got in response was whipping sounds.

"JAS-PER!" Alice moaned weirdly humping the air.

"JASPER…WAKE UP…GET IN HERE!" Edward and I started yelling at this point. A loud thud was our only response.

" YEAH JASPER YEAH…RIDE IT LIKE ITS HOT!" Alice belched out still humping the air.

"what the hell is all the yelling about?" Jasper yawned walking in. He was dressed in the most flashiest pj's ever and wearing a matching hat. Obviously Alice was the one who picked that out. Edward pointed Alice who had escaped his grasp and was now managing to molest my computer chair. She was grinding her body all over it.

"oh…OH!" Jasper said extremely embarrassed.

"not another one!…I'm so sorry…it does explain a lot of times that she claimed not to remember though." Jasper said. Upon hearing Jasper speak Alice turned around.

"What's this…a third person?…I'm game!" Alice called happily.

"this is so embarrassing…please don't tell anybody about this…I swear I'll keep her in my room next time…I'll get extra locks! She wont be able to live it down if anyone else knew…she doesn't even know she does it. Really I'm so sorry about this!" Jasper said as he extracted Alice off the chair.

"We wont we swear!" Edward and I said together. Poor man…I felt so sorry for him. Jasper had to limp back to his room. Alice had intertwined herself around his leg. As soon as he went back to bed I rested my head against Edward's chest.

"As I've said before…thank god your not like that!" Edward whispered wrapping his arm's around me. Peaceful darkness then enveloped.

Alice met us the next day for breakfast. Jasper had class so it was just the three of us. Edward could barely look her in the face. I could tell that he was trying his damn hardest not to laugh. After some debating we decided to head over to a local donut shop.

"want to hear something weird… Jasper said that I slept walked last night…but I don't believe him. I mean I woke up in my own bed…unlike the last time." Alice said. The time that she was referring to was the time that she woke up in the middle of downtown Port Angelus. Charlie had a fit because she woke up in the back seat of some 60 year old guys 1985 Chevy Tahoe. Needless to say that guy was grilled with questions for like 85 hours about kidnapping Alice. Thinking back that foreshadowed Alice's future.

"Um Alice there's something that you need to know and is that a new bag?"." I started up pointing to her pocket book.

"oh yeah…I seriously need to control my spending…I didn't even know I had it until I found it in my closet this morning!" Alice laughed. Just then the local news broke in with their lead story.

"BREAKING NEW AT THIS HOUR…POLICE SEARCHUBG FOR ' SLEEPING BEAUTY BANDIT' SOMEONE SLEPT WALKED INTO THE LOCAL GUCCI STORE AND WALKED AWAY WITH THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN MERCHANDISE. WHILE SHE WILL NOT BE CHARGED DUE TO SLEEP WALKING GUCCI HAS A REWARD OUT FOR $1000 FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE RECOVERY OF THEIR THREE POCKETBOOKS AND ONE NECKLACE THAT THE WOMAN MANAGED TO GET AWAY WITH." The newscaster said as security images of Alice in lingerie throwing pocketbooks in bags came across the screen. The reason she was getting off was because she passed out for a little bit in the shoe isle.

"oh shit Jasper was right…what the fuck happened last night?" Alice gulped. The entire store turned and looked at Alice. I could see the dollar signs in their eyes. I gulped.

"RUN!" Alice shouted as mob converged on us. Alice swung her stolen pocketbook and hit people in the face as we fought our way out of the place.

"Good thing I picked out a heavy one!" Alice beamed as she hit someone so hard you could see Gucci on their skin.

"OWW HOW ABOUT I GRAB YOUR HAIR!" Alice screamed in pain. Next thing we knew there was a handful hair extensions in Alice's grip.

"Please like none of you slept walked before…you obviously were when you put that outfit on girlfriend!" Alice shouted out from under twenty people. Edward tried to protect all of us but Alice being the defiant one said she could defend herself…which was failing. It was a full fledge riot at this point. In all the chaos some people mistook me for Alice.- though how I don't know…me and Alice looked completely different- and tried to attack me. Edward subsequently punched them in the face. We squeezed our way out into the street . All of us were scratched up but Alice was the worst of all. She had a chunk of hair missing, two chipped nails and her clothes were ripped apart. The minute we touched pavement a car whipped around the corner. The window went down to reveal Jasper's face.

"Jasper aren't you supposed to be in class?" Alice asked shocked.

"Get in I'll explain on the way!" Jasper said as we ran into the car. The crowd was starting to spill out into the street.

" I was in my class and the teacher brought it up. The minute I heard I knew it was you Alice and I ran out. I lojacked your phone to find out where you went and here I am!" Jasper said as we sped away. Just then Edward's phone went off. It was a text from Emmett.

"Hey guys…I have to tell you something…meet me at my dorm in five!" Emmett sent. We all looked at each other and Edward sent "Okay we'll be there!"

"Guys I'm kind of scared to enter the dorms…I mean there was a lot less people in that coffee shop then dorm with us and people are really greedy. They didn't even give me a chance to turn myself in or anything!" Alice said shaken.

"don't worry Alice…almost everyone is in class right now…I'm sure it will be fine!" Jasper said opening the door.

"alright…but if anyone else tries to rip hair out of this head they can say goodbye to their perfect noses forever!" Alice said whipping out her Gucci brass knuckles.

"lets go!" Alice ordered charging into the building.

Lucky for Alice the hallways were empty when we walked in. We were free and clear to walk to Emmett and Rose's room with out the worry of an angry mob forming. We reached the door with ease and walked in.

"IM GETTING THAT MONEY!" Emmett roared running out of no where and tossing an Alice sized net on her.

"AHHHHHHH!" Alice screamed as she was knocked to the ground. Jasper punched Emmett out before he could get a good grasp on the net.

"owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Emmett cried as Alice escaped from the net. Should of really seen that one coming. Emmett couldn't resist the temptation of money no matter how small.

"good you deserved it…apologize to Alice Em!" Rosalie said turning around from her computer desk.

"Don't you have class Rose?" Emmett asked looking at the time.

"Canceled…the teacher said something about recovering from minor injuries during a car accident over the weekend in an e-mail." Rose said.

"Oh cool…we can turn Alice in together…split the reward money!" Emmett said happily.

"Wow hold your horses Mr. Benedict Arnold…while you may value money over friendships I don't…besides she's family to me and you don't turn your back on family…you turn her in and you die…got it…besides I think Alice should be given the chance to give the stuff back herself!" Rosalie said harshly.

"oh alright…sorry I almost finked on you Alice!" Emmett said looking for an ice pack.

"oh its fine…I understand…greed can even happen to the best of us sometimes!" Alice said brushing it off.

"you should of seen the hell we went through this morning…you were small potatoes compared to that." Alice continued on.

"well I'm off to turn everything in…hopefully I don't run into any more angry mobs…or nets for that matter!" Alice said turning towards the door.

"Wait up Alice…your not going anywhere by yourself today!" Jasper said running after her.

"don't you have class?" Alice asked.

"I can miss a day!" Jasper countered.

"I like the way you think Jasper…are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Alice asked with a knowing smile.

" That depends…are you thinking what _I'm _thinking?" Jasper answered with the same smile.

"That's why I love you Jazzy!" Alice beamed. They walked out hand in hand and practically skipped down the hallway. Alice's head then backed into the room.

"and another thing that I'm thinking is that you guys better get going on the wedding plans…don't think your out of the woods yet guys…there's still so much to do!" Alice said before disappearing.

"kill me now…I swear to god if she drives me any harder I'll commit suicide before the wedding!" Rosalie moaned. Our cell phones went off at this point. There was a list of about one hundred items on there.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME? CALL THE FLOREST AGAIN…WHATS THIS THE 20TH TIME SHE HAD ME CALL…THEY'RE GOING TO GET ANNOYED WITH ME…AND SHOULDN'T SHE BE THE ONE PICKING OUT WHAT SHE WANTS FOR HER WEDDING SHOWER GIFTS? AND WHAT THE FUCK DOES SHE NEED A DISCO BALL FOR!" Rosalie growled.

"what next…are we supposed to scrub her shoes…marry Jasper for her…she is the bride and she hasn't lifted a fricken fingernail since she picked out her cake!" Rosalie muttered to herself.

"now we have to do this huge list and book her shower…looks like its going to be a long long day!" I moaned.

"your telling me it is!" Rosalie agreed

"so you take half and I'll take half on here and then we call Gucci together?" I asked.

"Deal!" Rosalie said. Edward and I then went back to our dorm. After three hours of making sure everything was in order and on track Rose and I went to work out the details with the people from Gucci. Emmett adamantly refused to go and so he and Edward headed out to Sports Authority. I felt bad for Edward. Emmett in Sports Authority was like Alice in Prada.

"I so cant wait for this to be over…everything to calm down and be normal for once. Your sister is such a stickler for details…look it she's already asking about flecks of confetti!…well at least she's not at Gucci anymore…sent me something about taking a walk…we can plan with the representatives in peace!" Rosalie said. Walking in we smiled and walked up to the manager. We managed to score Alice's favorite place as the spot where we would meet…Gucci's shoe isle. They were willing to add chairs and bring in small tables for us and everything. It was perfect.

"good and she wont even have a clue!" Rosalie snickered as we walked back out.

Later on that night Edward and I were digging into the take out. Emmett and Rose had joined us and were sitting on our computers when we could hear this commotion in the hallway. Before we could do anything our door burst open and a very trashed Alice and Jasper stumbled in. They actually reeked of alcohol. Rosalie waived her hand in the attempt to brush the smell away. Emmett was staring enviously.

"Alice what did you do?" I asked as we sat them on the bed and straighten them up.

"Jazzzy and I decided tooo celebrate the fact that I'm noo longer a wantedd woman…we foundd this bar that serves upp a deliciouss cosmopolitan among other things. I Must have had arounddd tennn in additionn the souuuuthhhernnn cooommfooort that Jazzzzy and ii shared!" Alice said very loaded.

"ooh iittt wass sooo fuun guyys…Alllie and I hadd the _whole _bar singing "whats lovee got to do with it" by the endd of the night…the bartender wass soo nicee…he offered to call us a cabb and everything." Jasper carried on sounding just as lit as Alice. I didn't think the bartender offered to call a cab because he wanted to be nice. I could only imagine the scene that my sister and brother in law caused. Edward looked like he was trying really hard to hide the embarrassment from his face.

"Sounds like you had a good time guys." Edward said.

"I'll sayy…I think Allie and I made friends…a couple of girls gave me their numbers and a group of guys gave Alice theirs…they were so nice!" Jasper slurred. He tossed a couple of papers down happily and Alice followed suit. I could see the names _Liz, Vicki, Barbie ( wonder who she was named after) and Michelle _along with tag lines like _"Hey good-looking Call me!" _for Jasper. Alice had _Michael, Tony, Roger, Mitch, Bob, and John_ with sayings along the lines of _" when you drop Dr. Feelgood here's my number sweetie!"_ If they were only sober and they saw that! I had to hold back laughter as the images of what they possibly did came to mind. I had a feeling that come tomorrow those numbers would wind up in the trash.

"Barbie…sounds hott!" Emmett whooped. Rosalie glared at him.

"sorry dear!" Emmett backpedaled. Until Rose Emmett never apologized to his girlfriends when he made comments like that.

"we'll haave to do that againnn Allie…that was so mucchh fun!" Jasper slurred.

"Say you guys don't have anything in here do you…beer, greygoose, anything in the wine family, or any of the extremely hard stuff now do ya?" Alice asked as her eyes started to scan the room. They locked on Jasper before they started to makeout…if you count practically having sex with their clothes on making out…on the bed.

"that is so hot…I wish-" Emmett was cut off by Rosalie.

"don't you even think about it Emmett…we've had this discussion!…no action for a month…you should of known better then to say that prostitute was hot…you made your bed so now you have to sleep in it!" Rosalie growled as Edward pulled the two drunken lovebirds off the bed.

"okay…I think we've seen enough thank you…Say goodnight Alice and Jasper!" Edward said slightly embarrassed dragging them away.

"now that that's over…what's the plan for this evening?" I asked.

"glad you asked that…I was thinking we should watch a movie…so 'Rambo' or 'Terminator'?" Emmett asked holding up two DVDS and wiggling his eyebrows.

"Which 'Terminator?'" Edward asked.

"'Terminator 5: Return to the red box machine and actually get a good movie'…we're not watching that!" Rosalie huffed.

"Okay 'Rambo' it is then!" Emmett said happily. Just then there was a knock on the door and Alice's room grew quiet for a split second. Opening up we found "Beverly hill's Chihuahua" with a note from Alice next to it.

"_knew Emmett was too daft too pick up a movie by himself. So I bought my favorite one. Seriously not all of us want to watch basically Emmett killing people…so I bought a cute one! Give us five minutes before you put the movie in…love A!" _

" what the fuck is this shit?" Emmett said staring at the movie cover.

"its better than what you wanted to watch…there's enough male testosterone with you around!" Rosalie said trying to fight Emmett to the DVD player.

"Rambo!" Emmett said pressing the open button. The disk tray popped out and he placed the movie in. Rose had used that opportunity though to grad the remote and promptly reopened the tray.

"Beverly Hills!" Rosalie countered placing her disk down.

"RAMBO!"

"BEVERLY HILLS!"

"RAMBO!" Emmett bellowed even louder.

"BEVERLY HILLS!" Rosalie snorted over him. I swore smoke started to come out of the machine. "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" was going to break my machine. Honestly I didn't know what was going to happen first…Emmett going Rambo in the room or our DVD player exploding.

"Hey guys chill out with that DVD player…it was a wedding present from grandpa you know…Emmett you especially don't want him finding out that you broke my machine do you?" Edward said sternly.

"You wouldn't dare!" Emmett said as his face went ashen. I could tell that he flashed back to my graduation party and maybe some other events as well.

"_I _wouldn't…but grandpa has many friends in high places…so does Charlie for that matter…between the two of them they'll find out about you breaking my DVD player…and well lets just say that grandpa isn't adverse to traveling to New York…and we all know that he has such fond feelings for you!" Edward said with a slight chuckle in his voice. We could hear Jasper laughing from the other room.

" Let the old man bring it!" Emmett said defiantly. Rosalie put her hand to her head.

" 'True Life: I'm Dating An Idiot!'" Rosalie groaned loudly.

" Emmett are you kidding me….your talking about the man who's friend trained Alice…and we all know Alice can kick your ass!" Edward said shaking his head.

"What…no she didn't!" Emmett said stupidly. Emmett's nose was never right after Italy. We could hear the laughter from the other room grow louder.

"are you kidding me Emmett…you told me you got that in a bar fight!" Rosalie snickered.

"Dude you used that excuse again…is that becoming your code for 'Alice kicked my ass?'" Edward snorted slightly.

"What are you talking about Edward…I got this from that bar I went to in Port Angelus…The bouncer hit on my girlfriend at the time…my ex girlfriend…and I punched him in the face. The guy was huge…I swear to god Rose…he was twice the size of me!" Emmett said in a high pitched girly voice. Rosalie was looking at him skeptically.

"That's not how it went down and you know that…Alice punched you in the face because you were being an asshole!" Edward countered.

"So I'm not denying Alice hit me…I didn't feel a thing…felt like a breeze go across my face!" Emmett bullshitted. There was an explosion of laugher from Alice and Jasper's room and a very loud thud. Just then all of our phones went off. "Picture message from Jasper" read the screen. A picture of the exact moment that Alice's fist connected with Emmett's face appeared. A second picture showed Emmett rolling around on the floor with his face in his hands as Alice posed next to him with blood on her hand.

"Oh yeah just like a breeze huh…I bleed every time a breeze comes by too…and that bouncer in the picture doesn't look two times your size Em!" Rosalie said.

"Whatever…Jasper just got a good shot…she didn't even break my nose!" Emmett said. Just then a third message came through. Pictures of them resetting Emmett's nose appeared. The message underneath read _"courtesy of Kate's face book 3"_

"didn't break your nose huh…then why did your face look like Marsha Brady's after the football hit it…and why in that picture are they resetting it?" Rosalie laughed.

"The doctors were just looking at it …I swear!" Emmett lied

"ALICE…JASPER….GET OUT HERE THIS INSTANT!" Emmett roared. We heard the door to Alice and Jasper's bedroom lock.

"GOD DAMN IT…DON'T THINK THAT DOOR'S GOING TO SAVE YOU!" Emmett screamed running out and attempting to rip their door off its hinges. All of a sudden there was a rapped knocking on the door. I opened it to a very angry Grandpa Cullen. His eyes flashed immediately to the smoking DVD player.

"What are you doing here?" I asked shocked. Edward shook his head.

" I was at a veterans convention down the street when I got a phone call from my grandson saying my wedding presents are being destroyed!" Grandpa snarled. Emmett stopped knocking on the door and turned around very slowly.

"What are _you_ doing here…I thought you were in Washington state…you know the Eastern Hemisphere!" Emmett gulped fearful.

"wow he truly is a retard!" Rosalie shook her head.

" wait till you meet his mother!" I whispered to Rosalie. During the last vacation everyone was so wrapped up with the wedding that she didn't have the pleasure of meeting Mrs. McCarthy.

"how did you graduate high school boy? Anyways…a little birdie told me what you did to my DVD player boy…and luckily I was right down the street at a Persian Gulf Veterans Convention…by the way daughters of Kill-a-Swan…he's on his way to the convention…got a later flight then I did…but back to business at hand. The destruction of _my _wedding gift!" Grandpa said the last part through gritted teeth.

`"I'M SORRY MR CULLEN…I DIDN'T MEAN TO OFFEND YOU…IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!" Emmett whimpered afraid. Just then a recording played.

__

" Let the old man bring it!" Emmett's voice said.

"oh I'll bring it!" Grandpa gritted as his eyes narrowed at Emmett. Emmett emitted a very high pitched girly yell and ran out past Grandpa Cullen. Grandpa and Alice took off in hot pursuit.

"aren't you going to stop this…that's your fiancée!" Edward said to Jasper.

"oh we all know that Alice isn't in any real danger…and I didn't see _you_ stop grandpa… and I would think out of all of us it should be Rose that stops them…after all it is her boyfriend and grandfather after all!" Jasper said. Rosalie was related to Edward and Jasper because her mother was their fathers sister.

"uh guys…I may of not mentioned to the family that I was dating Emmett…what with you guys getting married and everything I wanted to wait to the right time…so you guys are the only family that knows. Benefit of me asking Emmett at a rehearsal dinner…no one heard me say it." Rosalie said sheepishly.

"Rose you know that's an excuse…the real reason is your afraid of what grandpa will do. And if that's not an excuse-which I highly doubt because you can call your mom up on the phone anytime and tell her that- then you should really tell them. When's the right time going to be…when your married to all brawn and no brains with 2.5 mini Emmett's and a pit bull jacked up on HGH…I think they'll figure it out by then!" Jasper said skeptically.

"Hey I'm not going to have a pit bull…I'm going to have a Chihuahua!" Rosalie said offended.

"whatever he'll still have it addicted to human growth hormone…I wouldn't be shocked if you own a freakishly large Chihuahua if I were you Rose. Might as well own a pit bull!" Jasper said.

"oh shut up…at least my dog will look like a dog and not like a pink glittering disco ball. I wont have people questioning my sexuality whenever I walk out the door because my wife thought 'this little outfit would look so cute' and dressed it up in a pink, metallic, mini version of mini mouse's dress with a diamond studded collar. Not to mention said dog is a pink miniature poodle! I'd rather have my freakishly large Chihuahua thank you very much!" Rosalie huffed. Just then we heard the sounds of Emmett screaming. General. Take-no-shit soon appeared with Emmett all pretzled up in his arms followed by his side kick…Sgt. Pixie.

"Jasper you really picked a winner son…_you'll _never be able to touch this one!" Grandpa said excitedly.

"what do you mean _I'll _never be able to _touch this one_?" Jasper hissed with his eyes narrowing at Emmett.

"Oh you know….well Emmett grabbed her from behind…and well lets just say that your soon to be wife S.I.N.G's very well. She did most of the damage…sure would make her father god damn proud!" Grandpa boasted.

"All I can say is that you can thank your lucky stars that Alice is okay Em…you'd be fucking dead if you so much as displaced a hair on her head!" Jasper growled. Emmett gulped and winced in pain. He looked like he had a bluish tinged flesh colored balloon where his nose should have been. I recognized my sisters handy work immediately by the "A.S" written in pink marker on his nose.

"god what a moron!" Rosalie said walking off to get an ice pack and aspirin.

"Well I'm off to the convention…I'll tell Kill-a-Swan everyone said hello!" Grandpa Cullen said taking off.

"phew…now that that's over…come along Emmett…its off to the ER for you…seriously you don't think sometimes!" Rosalie said grabbing Emmett by the ear and dragging him off sounding much like a mother disciplining a naughty child.

"I love Grandpa Cullen…he's such a psycho!" Alice said smiling.

"Now back to watching whatever is in the DVD player right now…lucky for us I brought a backup!" Alice said running away.

"She brought a backup DVD player…why does that not shock me?" Jasper said shaking his head. A half hour later we watched as the opening credits flew across the screen. We were eating popcorn out of Alice's giant hot pink glittered bowl.

"next time I'm making the popcorn!" Emmett grumbled.

"if your thinking about eating pop corn out of your double d rack shaped bowl your wrong Em…I found it and threw it out with the trash this morning…want to explain why you had that in the first place?" Rosalie growled. Emmett gulped.

"Uh um it was on sale?" Emmett tried to lie poorly. This was going to be a long night!


	40. Ghosts of Emmetts past

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 40

BPV

The next few weeks turned very hectic. Alice turned into General. Pixie. She acted as if she were going into combat and not getting married. She even dubbed the whole thing "Operation: Marry Jasper" though on all the instructions (which was made during the sixth grade. I knew this from the many cross outs where fashion fads died out, and also I was next to her when she made it during textiles and she made me swear to always abide by it no matter what…my sister was a psycho) had the title " Operation: Marry (insert name here). Guess she never got around to changing the title. Alice had been planning this time for years. Before we knew it the day of Alice's bachelorette party was here. I internally prayed that it was a normal, quiet, evening. I should of known that it was not to be. After all Alice was involved with this. We made plans…well more like Alice invited herself…to meet up in Edward's and my dorm room for makeovers. We were then going to head to Rose's room to meet up with her and head out from there. Edward and I were checking out face book when Alice strode in 20 minutes late.

"Alice you were supposed to be here a long time ago…the limo's already waiting…we're going to be late!" I moaned.

"its called being fashionably late Bells…besides we're heading to a nightclub…well I think the more correct term is bar…but it does have dancing!" Alice said walking over to mirror and applying lipstick.

"uh Alice…remember that talk we had last night…you know about dying it down a little and watching Bella…"

"Yeah yeah, whatever whatever…I know already! One hair misplaced on your wife's head and you can personally burn my wardrobe…god your just like Charlie!" Alice said shaking her head.

"Well I have to go…I have to meet Jasper at the strip club…I still cant believe that Emmett talked us into that!" Edward said. Alice and I already knew where they were going and we really didn't care. We knew that the guys wouldn't cheat…besides Alice was more crazy then any of those strippers anyways. Rosalie however didn't know because she would flip the fuck out. All of us knew that a drunken Emmet+ strippers= don't tell Rosalie. To say that she a little on the jealous side would be the understatement of the century. We couldn't blame her though…everyone knew how Emmett was.

" don't get too close…don't want to catch any diseases …tell Jazzy the same thing!" Alice said brightly as the door shut in her face. Alice took it a little too lightly but I guess that was because she knew boyfriend would run and hide if a stripper tried to dance on him. Maybe even give her a therapy session on why her life turned her into a stripper. Or maybe, because of that dream a few weeks ago, she might want to get into a threesome. I didn't feel as comfortable as Alice but I trusted Edward not to stray.

"Don't get too close…catch what?" Rosalie asked walking in. Alice backpedaled immediately trying to think of the lie Emmett told Rose.

"The clothes at Abercrombie…they have crabs…I mean bed bugs…god that's all we need!" Alice said way too fast. Rose looked suspicious.

"Alice?" Rose growled.

"What?" Alice asked too innocent.

"Emmett never goes to Abercrombie…why would he go there tonight?" Rose spat narrowing her eyes.

"Well they did say they were going to a strip uh mall so I'm sure they're going to be passing by Abercrombie…just figured that I'd shout out a warning!" Alice said lying poorly. Alice couldn't lie to save her life sometimes. This was one of those times.

"Tell me what you know woman!" Rosalie demanded.

"nothing I swear…I'm just an innocent little future fashion designer…what would they tell me!" Alice said looking down and to the left.

"Alice give me the phone!" Rosalie snorted.

"Uh what's that…I think Jasper's texing me!" Alice said whipping out her phone and running away.

"Bella do you know anything?" Rosalie turned to me.

"Honestly Rose I don't know anything…all I can say is that I don't even know where they're going but I don't need to. I trust Edward enough." I said. I felt bad even spouting that half truth but this was the only night that they could do this and who was I to ruin their fun? Besides I didn't want to be the reason Rosalie broke up with Emmett.

As soon as we were ready we headed out the front door. Looking forward we saw a sleek black stretch limo…kind of like the ones you see carrying grieving families towards funerals. Alice's face dropped in disappointment.

"I said PEARL WHITE HUMMERRRRR!" Alice said bugging out.

"I'm sorry miss…this was all we had left." the driver said opening the door.

"Whatever…at least I have this with me…don't get trashed and watch my wife…what Edward doesn't know wont hurt him…and he never said anything about drinking on the way home… who's with me?" Alice snickered holding up a bottle of Bacardi 151 and smiling evilly.

"Um Alice…I plan on getting drunk enough at the bar…I really don't need that!" Rosalie said. I nodded my head in agreement.

"oh well more for me then…party poopers!" Alice said. A while later we pulled up to some random bar. Rose and I walked forward as Alice hovered near the front passenger side door. The three of us met up at the main entrance.

"uh Alice what did you do with the bottle?" Rosalie asked looking at Alice's empty hand.

"put it in the front seat with the driver…he seemed happy to take it off my hands!" Alice said.

" Uh Alice….I think he's an alcoholic…did you see his face…its as red as a fricken tomato!" Rosalie said shaking her head. So I wasn't the only one that made that observation.

"Well that explains a lot…but no worries…he said that if anyone came to take it they'd have to pry it from his cold dead fingers!" Alice laughed. Rosalie and I rolled our eyes. We then walked inside.

"Now they card…and I know you guys don't have fake ids so just ask me!" Alice said heading towards the bar. A.K. A expect to be fed drinks tonight. The creepy bartender smiled disgustingly at Alice. Every fiber in my being screamed not to trust that man.

"three long island iced tea's please!" Alice beamed whipping out her fake id and some cash. I had a feeling that Alice's id could of said that she was a 300 pound, 6 ft tall man and he still would of served her.

"sure whatever sweetheart!" the man said beaming as he handed Alice the drinks.

"Drink up Bells!" Alice said shoving the glass in my hand and running over to Rose. I took a couple of sips, looked up at the creepy bartender with missing teeth and watched him scratch down south while touching glasses, and sneakily dumped my glass out into the plant next to me. I wanted to puke.

A while later Rose walked over to me after I had dumped out the martini that Alice had forced me to take. I felt bad…that plant was going to be dead tomorrow. I could immediately tell that she was sober which meant she had observed the same thing I did. Alice on the other hand…well lets just say that she must of missed that observation. She stumbled up to the bar and asked for three more drinks. I didn't want to think how high the bar bill was going to be.

"Hereeeeee bellzzz, roooo!" Alice stumbled over handing us some weird concoction. You could see someone else's lip prints on the glass.

"ToO MEEE AND MARRIAGE…CONGRATS TO ME!" Alice said clinking out glasses together. She had been making this toast every time she came over with a drink.

"Alice remember what Edward said about forcing alcohol down people's throats…and the promise you made not to do it ?" Rosalie warned.

"oohh whatya going to dooo…ratt meee outtt….thereees nottthing to woory about!" Alice swayed on her feet.

"Alright Alice…put the sauce away…I think your done for this evening!" Rosalie said attempting to take Alice's drink away. Alice tried to fight back but it was useless.

" Well obviously Alice had a good time!" Rosalie said waiving her hand as she returned to the table. Alice ran of into the middle of the crowd at that point. Rose and I got up and looked for Alice with embarrassed looks on our faces. Alice was in the middle of a dance circle doing a disco dance…to not disco music.

"Whoot whoot!" Alice was singing. She started grinding with someone who made the bartender look like a movie star. If only she were sober!

"lets get her out of here before her clothes start coming off!" I said. I had noticed that her shirt was getting lower and lower somehow. By the time we pulled her away her shirt was half off.

"whoot whoot!" Alice sang as we dragged her into the parking lot. The driver stuck his head out the window and wolf whistled.

"Pig!" Rosalie huffed.

"Come along Alice…we're heading to a disco club!" I said dragging Alice to the car. We walked in and took out seats at that point. Well Alice climbed all over the place so she didn't really take a seat. The smell of alcohol permeated in the air but at the time I figured it was from Alice.

"Pictures guyyyys!" Alice said whipping out her camera.

"SMILEE!" Alice roared snapping pictures like a mad man. This went on for the next three minutes.

"noww wheree is my Bacardi?" Alice asked looking into the front seat. Just then the driver started to sway. The car veered off into the opposite lane and an empty bottle rolled into the back. Rosalie grabbed Alice and buckled the both of them in. She then held all three of us in a protective brace. Then blackness hit.

EPV

Jasper, Emmett and I were at the strip bar watching topless women parade themselves around us. These women were attractive but they held no interest to me. Frankly I just wanted to get out of here and be with Bella. I could tell that Jasper was having similar thoughts. Emmett on the other hand was looking at the women like they were god or something like that. I swore I saw drew coming out of his mouth. If Rose knew what he was looking at right now she would break up with him on the spot!

"man all I keep thinking of is Alice. I mean she could do dances around these women!" Jasper sighed boredly. I knew how he felt. I felt the same exact way. These women were nothing compared to my beautiful wife.

"Want to go to the bar?" I asked.

"you read my mind!" Jasper exclaimed jumping up immediately.

" Em…we're gonnna go get something to drink…we're going to be next door!" I said turning towards Emmett.

"I'll be there soon!" Emmett said not paying attention. He was too distracted by the brown haired silicone enhanced version what used to be a pretty girl to pay attention to what I said. As we turned to leave we saw Emmett head to the opposite side of the room with a curvaceous blonde. All I could see was the back of her head so I didn't see what she looked like. We walked next door and sat down at the bar.

"Two long island iced teas!" Jasper said shoving our fake ids across the bar. I looked at him.

"what…Alice got me hooked…she can make a lean one when she gets her hands on liquor!" Jasper laughed lightly.

"Thank you for getting me out of there…I know Emmett's heart was in the right place when he forced us to go here but this is not my idea of a good time!" Jasper sighed taking a sip of his iced tea.

" yeah I think that he just got caught up in everything, you know, New York, bachelor party…he just couldn't contain himself. He didn't realize though that its not _his_ bachelor party. Say I wonder what the girls are doing?" I asked.

"Alice sent me a video a little while ago…they were at some other bar with Grizzly Adams giving Alice free drinks. The image was starting to sway a little and it cut off as she was handing Rose a tall glass of white zyphendel. Rose looked sober and I caught sight of Bella dumping a bunch of drinks and she didn't seem lit either." Jasper said nonchalantly as he stirred ice around his drink.

"So basically my lovely sister in law and your lovely wife to be is the only one trashed as usual." I said.

"Yep!" Jasper said as he took a swag of his drink. The music from next door grew louder. The bartender mumbled about getting better insulation.

" I hate that music!" the bartender said taking out a bottle of aspirin and taking two.

"I'm sorry…its just that they've been blasting that music every day since I've worked here…I've complained and complained to the owners and I get nowhere. I'm considering calling the police or something!" the bartender said.

"oh don't worry about it. We understand. I'd be like that too if that were me!" Jasper said. This started an impromptu counseling session on how to deal with obnoxious neighbors.

"uh Jasper…how long have we been in here?" I asked.

"I don't know… an hour…maybe less?" Jasper said looking at his watch.

"Where's Emmett?" Jasper asked in a Rosalieish tone. He finally realized why I asked. We turned and looked at each other, paid the bartender for the two long island iced teas and headed back to the strip joint.

"um where's the manager?" Jasper gulped asking a topless waitress.

"oh he's over there!" the woman said pointing towards the back corner. We turned to see a 30 year old version of Emmett sitting there surrounded by his posse of topless women…a.k.a employees.

"see shake your things gir- uh our company stock will increase ten fold if we increase wages by ten percent!" the man said upon seeing us walk over to his table. I don't think I wanted to hear him finish that sentence.

"Yeah hi…we're looking for our friend…big guy, low IQ, curly black hair, goes by the name of Emmett?" Jasper said as if he were describing his lost dog or something.

"I've seen someone that fits that description…has a loud mouth and a particular taste in blondes?" The man asked.

"Yeah that's him!" I said.

"Boy that kid got hammered…went home with one of our best strippers…normally we don't do that but they said that they were good friends. Man you have to see the rack on that one! The man howled holding his hand very far out over his chest to emphasize his point. Jasper and I looked at each other and shook our heads. I hope Rose doesn't find out.

"say your friend's gone and you guys are here…I'm sure that one of these ladies would be happy to service you in any way that you please!" The man said gesturing to his topless Barbie collection.

"No…thank you." I said. If I wanted the kind of service that I think he was suggesting then I would turn to my wife for that…not some strange girl.

"we're fine thank you very much!" Jasper said as we turned away.

"Well since my ride just abandoned me Edward do you mind if I ride back with you…I doubt that Emmett's going to be coming back any time soon." Jasper asked.

"sure…no problem…and if by some miracle Rose doesn't get home when the girl is there lets make a pact not to tell Rose any of this. You know what happens when Rose gets pissed!" I said.

"Yep…hell hath no furry like a Rosalie scorned…that's for sure!" Jasper said. Lets just say I got scared when Rose got mad. She inherited our grandpa's tenacity.

"I'm sorry , I normally would of drove myself here but my car's in the shop right now…why I would let Alice drive my car while drunk again I don't know. Thank god this time was a fender-bender." Jasper said. Jasper's new replacement car met a building thanks to Alice. Alice and Jasper were both cocked at the time.

" well at least this time she hit something that _wasn't_ a police car…and she was backing out of a parking lot so its not like she was going fast. They can bang a ding out…they cant glue a car back together after it's been cut in two." I said.

" yeah and the person who's living room we landed in wanted to redecorate anyways…we just gave them the money." Jasper agreed chuckling.

"your going to have your hands full!" I said.

"Yeah well we all have our problems…your married to klutz-zilla …Rose's dating Emmett -need I say more. My little pixie just cant handle her alcohol…so what…get a couple of extra cars and retain a lawyer?" Jasper said.

"your beginning to sound just like her 'I'm just as innocent as you guys and you all know it'" I said the last part in a fake Alice voice.

"oh shut up!" Jasper said as I turned the ignition on.

We were on one of the bridges heading back to the dorms a few minutes later. Jasper was trying to get a hold of Emmett in the back seat but it wasn't working. Emmett had shut his phone off. What a stupid idiot…he's going to be so fucked if Rose tries to call. And that's just from him not picking up her phone call. Jasper had it on speaker phone so we could both talk to him.

"yeah touchdown!…oh shit is this thing on? Rose seriously is it on ( sounds of Rosalie bickering in the background)…uh…um…scratch that last part…you've reached Em-BEEP" The voicemail read.

"Emmett its Jasper…seriously if you get this call us…and turn your phone on if you want to live another day…and get that ridiculous message off your phone!" Jasper said hanging up. At that point something caught my eye. A black stretch limo that had been slightly weaving for the past mile swerved violently into on coming traffic. I watched in horror as it slammed into the side of the bridge on two wheels and flipped over the side of the it.

"Holy shit Jasper did you just see that!" I gasped horrified. A familiar bad feeling sprang up in side of me.

" yeah that was crazy…it just fricken flipped over the side of the bridge!" Jasper said shocked.

"Jasper weren't the girls in a limo tonight?" I asked frightened. I pulled to an area where I could change direction. I then started to head to the area where I saw the car wreck. I knew the bridge had a suicide net and I hoped that it was big enough to catch the limo even if it wasn't the girls. Jasper had already speed dialed 911.

"Yeah but Alice said that it was going to be a white hummer one…she was carrying on about it all day long." Jasper said. That didn't reassure my bad feeling.

"still, I think that we should see if whoever that was is alright…I mean what if that was one of us?" I asked as I pulled off the side of the road.

" alright!" Jasper said as I got out. Looking down I saw the black limo stuck in the suicide net.

"is everyone alright down there?" I called down. Just then my worst fears were confirmed when I saw a hot pink manolo shoe shove itself through the window. What was clearly Alice's foot started to wiggle.

"I'M STUCK…EDWARD IS THAT YOU?" Alice shouted in pain and still drunk. I looked over to see my brother's face was ashen white. The sun roof opened up and Rosalie scaled out at the speed of light.

"Hold on Alice…I'm going to try and equally distribute my weight so we don't plunge hundreds of feet to our deaths!" Rosalie said.

"WHAT!" Alice roared afraid and confused to how Rosalie knew what to do.

"No good…I'm going to have to scale up the side of the bridge and get us some help!" Rosalie said. She then scaled up the side of the bridge like Spiderman on crack. I never saw anyone move so fast.

"HOLD ON ALLIE BEAR….HELPS ON THE WAY!" Jasper called shaken. Just then Emmett's car pulled up. The passenger side window rolled down and a lit Emmett stuck his head out. From behind him I could see a set of familiar eyes. It took me a second to recognize who they belonged to. KATE? Holy shit she had a shit load of plastic surgery! She could now be Tanya's identical twin.

"Heyy whaats goingg onn?" Emmett slurred happily.

"Kate?" I hissed.

"EDWARD?" Kate gasped shocked. At that point a hand appeared at the edge of the bridge. Red fingernail polish gleaming in the light. It scrunched pissed off.

"The girls limo flew off the side of the bridge…they're stuck in the suicide net…luckily they just put a new one in that's huge!" I explained. Emmett's face developed a fearful look in it.

"Rosalie's…here?" Emmett gulped. Just then Rose's face popped up. If possible the scratch on her eye made her look more menacing. She looked like she was possessed or something.

"Oh shit!" Emmett said raising the window again. Kate then pealed out like a bat out of hell. Next thing we knew a wild eyed Rosalie catapulted herself over the edge and was charging at Jasper and I like a bull.

"GIVE ME THE KEYS EDWARD!" Rosalie snarled.

"Now Rosalie…your not in the right state of mind to drive…how about you just sit down-" Jasper started up.

"I SAID GIVE ME THE GOD DAMN KEYS!" Rosalie said making this noise that I never heard before. It was a combination of a scream, snarl, growl, and roar. She ripped the keys so hard out of my hand that I actually had cuts.

"AWW!" I shouted as my car shot past me. Rosalie whipped my car through traffic like she was a woman on a mission.

"god damn it why did my car have to be in the shop today of all days…ugh I need a drink!" Jasper moaned.

"YOU NEED A DRINK? I WAS IN A CAR ACCIDENT, MY SEATBELT HAS ME EFFECTIVELY TRAPPED OFF THE SIDE OF A BRIDGE, AND WORST OF ALL MY NEW PINK MANOLO SHOES ARE RUINED…YOU NEED A DRINK!" Alice screamed from inside the car. It was then that I realized something. Alice was inside the car screaming her lungs out. Rosalie climbed out of the limo and up the bridge like she was the incredible hulk or something but there was nothing from Bella. Where was my wife?

"Alice where is Bella?" I called out. Alice grew very quiet at this point.

"Alice?" Jasper demanded.

"Um she's right next to me…uh sleeping!" Alice called sheepishly. I automatically knew that she was more then sleeping.

"Wake her up then!" I called.

"I uh cant…um she told me that she wanted to nap and not to wake her up!" Alice lied poorly.

"WAKE HER UP ALICE!" I demanded.

"oh alright already!" Alice said.

"Edward?" Alice said lowering her voice to sound like Bella. Obviously she was trying to pretend to be Bella and it wasn't working.

"Alice we know that's you!" I said.

"no it isn't!" Fake Bella/ Alice called out.

" Alice!" Jasper warned.

"Oh alright…she was knocked out in the crash…please don't burn my wardrobe!" Alice pleaded. Next thing I knew there was flashing lights everywhere and the girls were being wheeled into the same ambulance.

" Alice what exactly happened?" I demanded.

"I'll explain later…right now I'm a little busy bleeding out of my foot…but when I do please don't get pissed!" Alice whined as all of us jumped into the ambulance together. Jasper rode shot gun. I held my wife's unconscious hand afraid. Please let her be alright…please god!

"say what's the chances that this isn't deep enough to require stitches…I'm getting married in a few days and I would really hate to have stitches in my foot the day of the ceremony…no one wants to look like 'Bride of Frankenstein' if you know what I mean?" Alice asked the paramedic.

"not high miss!" the man said. Alice looked pissed off. They breathalyzer Alice since she was the only passenger conscious at the scene and she was still sounding lit. To say she was still above the legal limit at this point was an understatement. The radio then went off.

"yeah the driver came around briefly. He was really lit…when we got down there to get him out we found a empty bottle of rum." The radio man said. I looked at Alice. There was no way that this was a coincidence. Alice gulped and looked away which confirmed my suspicions.

" What…all I wanted was to have a little fun…I didn't think that he'd steal my bottle!" Alice defended.

"We'll talk about this later Alice!" Jasper called from the front. I knew this had Alice written all over it. The two people in the world that I knew would who were stupid enough to leave a bottle of alcohol in a car with a stranger was Alice and Emmett.

" honestly I didn't mean for this to happen…he was a limo driver for crying out loud…you would think that he would know to stay above the influence or at least let me drive!" Alice continued on. I looked at her.

"I meant Bella or Rose…let them drive!" Alice said in a small voice.

"Alice, you, me, Jasper, and possibly Charlie will be extensively discussing how your drinking affects other people later." I said.

"please don't bring Charlie into this…he doesn't need to know!" Alice pleaded to save her own ass.

" Alice while you can hide your stitches by wearing pants…he's going to suspect something when Rose shows up with a busted eye and Bella's in a halo. The man's not stupid you know. " I warned.

"So we can come up with something…like we were in a taxi heading to Gucci when we were hit head on by a drunk driver. The car rolled over eight times. The impact sent my foot through the divider. Rosalie saved us all by breaking a window and throwing us out of the car before it exploded. They're considering giving her a medal for her heroics. They said that she'd receive the purple heart if she was in the army. I was never so scared for my life…or some bullshit like that!" Alice countered.

"Alice dear…your dad was in the army. He knows tactics of getting the truth out of you that would turn your hair gray. And incase you didn't notice…your sister's really hurt right now. He's not going to be in the mood to hear your bullshit." Jasper said. Just then we pulled into the hospital. We were blocked from the part of the hospital where they took Bella so we had to sit there and watch Alice complain as they stitched her foot up. Rosalie, who met us there, was sitting in a chair having her eye looked at.

"my foot…I cant believe my perfect foot is ruined…its going to look hideous…its not going to go with the pink Gucci heel that I picked out for my wedding dress!" Alice whined.

" Alice quit your bitching…look at my face!" Rosalie said. In addition to her eye her fist was bright red with blood on it. The blood wasn't hers though. Not going to ask.

"That's just a scratch!" Alice said.

"Actually that's about as deep as your foot miss!" the woman who was stitching Rosalie's eye up said.

" I'm going to look like Dr. Evil on your wedding day…you can hide your foot in the pictures!" Rosalie said as they added another shot into her lid.

"a little councilor and some touch ups…no one will know the difference…me on the other hand…my dress swishes one way and you get the full view of Franken foot down there!" Alice countered. I couldn't believe they were fighting over who had the worst looking injury.

"whatever Alice…but answer me this…why on gods earth would you leave that bottle with that man…I told you that he had the look?" Rosalie snorted.

"he seemed decent enough to me…and some people look like that when they're not even alcoholics…its called rosacea you know." Alice said.

"and you didn't see the AA sticker that was on the back of his car Alice!" I growled taking out a picture of the back of the limo. A huge AA sticker was on the trunk.

"Everyone makes mistakes!" Alice defended.

"Not everyone leaves a full bottle of rum in a car with a recovering alcoholic who's by himself Alice!" I countered.

"alright alright…excuse me for wanting to have some fun…I'm sorry…how many times do I have to say I'm sorry! But I'm not the only one that did something stupid tonight…look at Emmett!" Alice said.

"I don't even want to hear that name Alice…not right now…don't you dare say that name again Alice…not tonight!" Rosalie hissed.

"okay…just saying." Alice moaned. At that point a nurse walked over with an update about Bella. Please let it be something minor…please. I didn't think I could handle it if it were serious.

" Mr. Cullen…your wife has a hairline skull fracture and a slight concussion. She's going to have a massive headache for a while but once she wakes up she should be fine. She's showing signs of starting to come around. She should be awake any minute." The nurse said. Bella's going to be fine….Bella's going to be fine…don't kill Alice…don't kill Alice in front of Jasper.

"Can we see her?" I asked.

"Sure…I have to fill some paper work and then I'll bring you guys back there. If all of you guys are going to visit at the same time then I suggest you make it short." the nurse said.

" okay" I nodded.

"My maid of honor HAS A HAIR LINE SKULL FRACTURE?….MY WEDDING'S RUINED…HOW CAN SHE WEAR THE CUTE HEADBAND THAT I PICKED OUT TO MATCH THE DRESS…EVERYTHING'S RUINED…I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT HOW THE PICTURES ARE GOING TO COME OUT NOW!" Alice roared sounding hysterical. It figured that Alice would take her sisters serious head injury and make it about herself. I had no clue how they were sisters…that's right Alice was adopted.

"Excuse me…I brought up that point a minute ago and you told me you'd touch up the images…but that's besides the point. Your sister has a serious head injury Alice and your worried about your wedding and yourself…like granted I was upset about my injury earlier but at least its petty…just like yours is. Your sister could of died…a glass bottle hit her in the head…and your concerned about how it will look in the pictures! Like really Alice…your that obsessed with your wedding that that's your reaction…you have a problem!" Rosalie said sounding like a mother scolding her naughty child.

"I have a problem…at least my boyfriend isn't running off with stripers!" Alice fought back.

"WHY YOU LITTLE-!" Rosalie roared flying at Alice. Alice having a "serious" ankle injury ran like the speed of light.

"NURSE!" Alice screamed. Considering Alice was practically the reason my wife was laying in a hospital bed , I made no attempt to stop Rose.

"AHHHHH….HURRY NURSE SHE'S GOING TO KILL ME!" Alice screamed.

"Uh I think I should let them handle it!" Jasper said staring terrified at Rosalie.

"Chicken!" Alice called from under the examining table.

"So that's what Grandpa's like off his meds!" I said staring at Rosalie's hulking form.

"EDWARD IF YOUR GOING TO STOP ME THEN SAY SO!" Rose grunted through her teeth as she circled Alice's hiding place.

"Hey I have no qualms about you killing my sister in law…I full heartedly support your efforts!" I shrugged. Rosalie smiled and rage twinkled in her eyes.

"Rose…I'm not saying this as Alice's fiancée but as your cousin, Alice is under a lot from this wedding and now with the post traumatic stress of this accident …everything she says is hardly credible…so please just ignore it. I'm sure she's very sorry!" Jasper said looking up from 'psychology today'.

"Jasper…I understand but that's no excuse for her opening her big trap like that…besides that girl hasn't lifted a finger more then she wanted to…you think she's the only one stressed out…she's not!" Rosalie snorted.

" I have graciously helped plan two weddings this year, go to school, got into a severe accident tonight…and to boot saw my boyfriend head away from the scene of said accident with an ex-girlfriend/stripper…Alice is not the only one with stress in her life!" Rosalie roared on. It was then Alice's nurse came back.

"Alright Miss. Swan…the doctor ordered us to give you crutches and you told us earlier that if you wanted crutches that you wanted pink. Well here you go sweetie…pink crutches!" The woman said taking out pepto bismal pink crutches.

"Leave it to hospitals to ruin even the color pink!" Alice mumbled as she grabbed the pair.

" Oh and the other nurse told me told me to tell you that you can visit your wife now she's this way Mr. Cullen…the rest of you can come along as well!" the nurse said bringing me out. Walking to Bella's bedside I could see that she was still unconscious but barely. I took up vigil in the chair next to her. Seeing her like this made me sick. I should of did more to stop this from happening. I should of known something like this was going to happen. Though the nurse said that she was going to be fine I was still very worried. Why wasn't she waking up…they said that she should be waking up soon.


	41. The aftermath

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 41

BPV

As I awoke from the black abyss the first thing I heard was voices. Something about being okay. I was confused. I then recognized the voice as everything started to become more clearer as Jaspers. Memories of the accident came flying back.

"Look Edward she's been though stuff like this before…granted she never cracked her skull open but still she pulled through the other things just fine. I'm sure that she's going to be okay…everything will be just fine!" Jasper's voice said reassuringly.

"But still they said she'd wake up an hour ago and she's still out…what if its more serious then they thought!" Edward's voice said sounding afraid.

" Yes hi…is this HR…my name is Alice Swan… I would like to file a report on some people in the Emergency Room…see I asked for hot pink crutches and I got pepto bismal colored ones…now either someone's color blind or stupid because they are not the same colored ones…hello? HELLO?…did they just hang up on me…that was rude!" Alice's voice said. Did she break her leg or something?

"Get off the god damn phone Alice…your sister's like practically dead in a hospital bed and your complaining to human resources about what colored crutches you got. We rolled over a god damn bridge …we could of died…just be thankful your alive and quit your bitching…who cares what color your crutches are…no one's going to notice. They were even kind enough to get you pink crutches and you have the nerve to complain about the shade! Your just like Emmett…gods knows what he'd do if they gave him the wrong football team on the band aid that they gave him…the whole world would have to end!" Rosalie said pissed.

"Rosie you do know what security said about fighting Alice right…one more attack and they'd throw you out!" Jasper warned.

"I'm well aware!" Rosalie said through gritted teeth. It was then that I felt my eyes slowly start to open. The face that I most wanted to see in the world came swimming into view.

Edward was looking at me with the upper most look of concern and fear etched in his face.

"Bella you were in a really bad accident…do you know who I am?" Edward asked with a mixture of concern and relief in his voice. Jasper leaned in…probably thinking I was the perfect case study amnesia or something like that. I looked over.

"No…No!" I said pulling his chain. Edward looked downright afraid. Jasper on the other hand looked excited. He whipped out a notebook and a pen and inched closer to my bedside

"Geez Jasper don't get so excited!" I said. Jasper's face deflated but Edward looked like he didn't get it.

"you remember Jasper but you don't remember me?" Edward asked confused and afraid.

"I was just kidding Edward!" I exclaimed. A smile erupted across Edward's face.

"very funny…seriously though you gave us all quite a scare there!" Edward said as both Jasper and Rose nodded their heads. Alice was too busy looking on her phone to notice.

"Right Alice!" Edward said emphasizing her name.

"huh…what…right…whatever!" Alice said waiving her hand and still looking at her phone.

"What are you doing?" Jasper asked.

"Facebook silly…duh!" Alice said reading what she posted.

" I posted this in the ambulance…wow can't believe everyone almost died tonight…crazy car accident…leg is extremely fucked up right now…thanks a lot alcoholic limo driver!" she read aloud. Everyone looked at each other.

"Something bad's going to come out of this…I have a feeling!" Jasper said.

"Why the hell would you put this on face book…that's extremely personal!" Rosalie said.

"Bella could you close your eyes…I have a surprise for you!" Alice said.

"Alice put the phone down before I break it…how would you like it if Bella posted a picture of you in a hospital gown on face book…wait a minute you'd probably like it…you're an attention whore!" Rosalie said.

"did you just call me a whore?" Alice asked offended. Edward smacked his hand across his head.

"Bella…babe…I know that we have to keep up the family relations and everything…but how can you stand that?" Edward asked.

"ooh Jessica Stanley just put up a new status… ' RIP…EDDIEKINS…IF ONLY YOU WERE HERE WITH ME YOU'D BE ALIVE RIGHT NOW L YOU WILL ALWAYS AND FOREVER BE IN MY HEART AND PRAYERS…I KNOW YOU'LL BE WATCHING ME LOVE!'…Wait. A. Minute…they think we died ?" Alice asked shocked.

"Hold on…I'm going to check my profile!" Alice said.

"oh shit…someone hacked my face book!" Alice said.

"How do you know?" Everyone asked.

" 'Cause as I was reading all these crazy posts that I didn't put up and it kicked me off. Hold on…I'm changing my password and then I'll show you what they put up!" Alice said pissed. Five minutes later she handed her phone to everyone her phone. There was three under Alice's original one.

"Scratch that…everyone died…Edward….Jasper…Emmett…everyone…I'm the only one out of all my friends to be alive…FML!" the first one read.

"Bella died wearing my new Gucci shoes…now I'm never going to get those back…seriously WTF!" The second one stated.

"Going in to surgery to have my foot cutoff…RIP new Manolo Blahniks…I hardly new ye!" the third read.

"Who the fuck is doing this…alright seriously Bella if you died I would never write those statuses on face book…even I'm not that black hearted!" Alice said pissed. There was literally too many comments to count on her page. There was even links to our memorial pages.

"Alice I'm so sorry to hear what happened…strength will get you through these trying times…just know that everyone here in Forks is vying for you…we love you…I understand that you were supposed to marry Jasper…well God works in mysterious ways! Feel free if you need to talk. Again, I'm so sorry!" said a comment from Angela Webber.

"I could only imagine what Emmett would say if he was alive… 'Alice with a peg leg…ahoy ye maties…its Fashionbeard Alice…where's your parrot?" read a comment from Mike Newton.

"What an asshole…for all he knows everyone died and that's what he has to say…even Emmett would never say something so insensitive!" Alice huffed.

" I'm shocked and saddened beyond words. Alice I want you to know that the Edward Cullen Fan Club is hosting a memorial for all of your friends this week. We all lost someone very special to our hearts and we want you to know that you are not alone. Our thoughts and prayers are with you during your time of need. Sincerely, ECFC 3" read the official web site.

"We all know the special person they miss so much…not like they give a flying fuck about the rest of us!" Alice growled.

"you would think that you would be more pissed off at the fact that someone told the entire world that everyone…including your fiancée…died except you a couple of days before your planned wedding. That would put a huge damper on the wedding if the guests think the entire wedding party including the groom was deceased and the bride is in the hospital missing a foot. You want to talk about being concerned about having the perfect wedding!" Rosalie snorted.

"your right Rose!" Alice said. She then started to type at the speed of sound.

"$10,000 reward for anyone with information leading to the identity of the person who hac-what the fuck they did it again!" Alice said pissed.

"Well what did you change your password to?" I asked.

"Prada…why?" Alice asked.

"no wonder why they got in so fast…Alice you are so predictable!" I exclaimed.

"Change it to something no one would know…like Grandpa Cullen's middle name or something." I said.

"Ooh I got the perfect one…the only person who might possibly think of it is considered dead and not in this room right now…so if I get hacked again I know who it is!" Alice

said changing her password again.

"alright I'll tell you guys since I know none of you guys are the hacker/hackers and I trust that you wont change my face book. Its Sports authority…very not me huh!" Alice laughed.

"so basically we'll know that its Emmett if you get hacked again." I said.

"yep!" Alice said. She then reposted her reward message beginning with "everyone's alive." In two seconds there were already twenty messages with tips.

"this sounds like the work of Emmett…scratch that if it were him he'd make himself the person who tried to save everyone but failed…good luck finding out who did it!" one post read.

" I'm not sure who did it was but I have a funny feeling that it was Mike Newton…he did have that sense of humor after all!" another read.

" All of you are wrong…I know exactly who did it. I saw Tanya the other day…in town. She was released from the mental institution. Told me that she learned a few tricks while she stayed there and that she had a plan up her sleeve on getting 'the imposter' and her friends back for putting her there in the first place. She was also pissed that Edward sided with the 'imposter' over his loving wife. I'm sorry. I would of said something sooner but I never thought that she would do something this evil." Eric Yorkie said.

"THAT PSYCHOPATHIC BITCH…I SHOULD OF KNOWN IT WAS HER…IT HAD THAT PARTICULAR STENCH…I ALWAYS SAID SHE WAS A PSYCHO!" Rosalie roared pissed.

"got that right!" Alice snorted. It was then that we heard the doors to the Emergency Room open up ( we were in a room that was an offshoot to the area of the ER that Rose and Alice got stitched up in.). Emmett's voice boomed in. Rosalie looked livid. I automatically knew that something bad had happened other then the obvious. I guessed Emmett didn't pass the fidelity test.

"ROSIE BABY…ITS EMMETT…ARE YOU HERE…WE NEED TO TALK!" Emmett called.

"UGHHH!" Rosalie growled getting up and signaling Emmett over. His nose was busted again and he had a new shiner.

"Damn Bella you look bad…guess the accident fucked you up bad huh…so what happened to ya?" Emmett asked.

"she fractured her skull in the accident you idiot…which you would of known if YOU STAYED BEHIND AND DIDN'T LEAVE US ALL ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND DRIVE OFF WITH A STRIPPER…AND THEN CHEAT ON ME WITH HER. YOUR FRIENDS NEEDED YOU EMMETT…I NEEDED YOU…AND YOU PROCEED TO CHEAT ON ME WITH A HOE AFTER I ALMOST DIE IN A CAR ACCIDENT. SERIOUSLY GO FUCK YOURSELF!" Rosalie roared the most pissed that I had ever seen anyone. She hurled her pocket book and hit him right in the face.

"Rose she wasn't a stripper…she was my ex girlfriend!" Emmett argued.

"OH THAT MAKES IT EVEN BETTER!" Rosalie snarled.

" you know what Emmett…I don't have to put up with this bullshit…we're do-" Rosalie was about to break it off when Emmett interrupted.

" Rose wait…I didn't cheat on you!" Emmett said.

"do you not understand that you were caught…I. Saw. You….clad in your boxes…with _her_ running around naked. Might as well been caught in the act!" Rosalie spat. Alice and Edward then filled me in on the details at that point.

_Flashback._

" Give me a chance to explain before you break it off…I was drunk…Kate was putting me to bed…and she was changing into your clothes. She spilt something on hers. You must of walked in mid change or something like that. I swear to god Rose…I didn't touch her!" Emmett said. Any girl would of continued to react just like Rose did. This was a turning point in their argument though. Emmett was too dumb to contrive a lie like that so he must have been telling the truth and Rose knew that.

"Alright then lets say I believe you….what took you so long to get here?" Rose asked.

" Rose I left right after you. You never told me what hospital you were going to…in fact you snorted 'whatever…I'm going to the hospital' before slamming the door in my face. I've been to like three hospitals looking for you guys.

"You could of called!" Rose seethed.

"I did…you never picked up!" Emmett countered. Rosalie then grabbed her phone from her purse.

"10 missed calls?…crap it was on silent!" Rose said embarrassed.

"its okay…so whatsup guys?" Emmett asked.

"I'll tell you whatsup…while you were not hooking up with Miss. Stripper…her cousin hacked into my face book and told everyone that everybody but me died and I had to have my foot cut off. that's what's going on!" Alice huffed.

"damn…but we're not…I'm not dead!" Emmett gulped.

"Exactly…I had to change my password twice and put out a bounty to let everyone know that we didn't die!" Alice said.

"that's disgusting…no one lies about my death!" Emmett grumbled.

"You are just like Alice…the opitimy of selfishness…your concerned about people like 10,000 miles away thinking you died when Bella's in a hospital bed with a skull fracture. Not one ounce of concern for anyone else. Your girlfriend, your friends fiancée, and your friends wife drive off the side of a bridge and your concerned about you. What if we died Emmett?…what if we died…what would you say at my funeral?…Go Seahawks?" Rosalie snorted.

"HEY!" Alice said offended

"Sorry babe I didn't think!" Emmett said apologetically.

" hey I didn't notice that before…what sup with the Dr. Evil thing you have going on?" Emmett asked.

"UGH YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE…COULDN'T BE FROM MY HEAD SLAMMING INTO THE DIVIDER IN A LIMO THAT DROVE OFF A BRIDGE!" Rosalie huffed. Alice leaned in behind her, pointed to her face, and slammed her fist into her other hand to add dramatic effect.

"oh ouch!" Emmett said getting it.

"exactly ouch…we're going to be the black eyed couple tomorrow!" Rosalie said shaking her head with shame.

"That reminds me…why exactly did you put your foot through the window?" Rosalie asked Alice.

"it was the only thing I could move at the time…my seatbelt was broken…and I'm wearing a strapless gown at the wedding…I couldn't have my arm all stitched up…talk about having hideous pictures!" Alice said. Alice would think of that in an accident.

"damn you must have one strong foot then…I want to try that!" Emmett exclaimed happily.

"Absolutely not Emmett…I'm not putting that in an insurance claim!" Rosalie said. If Emmett didn't learn from seeing Alice's leg then he was more idiotic then anyone gave him credit for.

"it feels worse then it looks Emmett…I'm so pissed off they wont give me a hospital bed too! These chairs are so uncomfortable…not healthy for a woman with an injured leg!" Alice complained.

"What are you talking about Alice…you had stitches put in…its not like your ankle's broken!" Edward said rolling his eyes.

"did you have stitches before Edward?" Alice counted. Edward opened his mouth to speak.

"Didn't think so!" Alice said cutting him off.

"Whatever!" Edward mumbled. I felt bad for Jasper. I could already see what was coming. "Jasper paint my toenails…Jasper pretty please…I would do it for you…and can you get me a strawberry Sunday while your at it?"

"Jazzy Sweetie…since the doctor told me I have to rest my ankle for the next two days ( her wedding was in four)…can you please head to the nearest Godiva chocolate store and pick me up some of their yummy chocolate strawberries. I'd ask you to pick me up a chocolate martini but I don't think we're allowed to drink here. Get anything but dark chocolate…I cant stand the bitterness." Alice ordered. We all looked at her dumbfounded.

"After what _I've _been through (she wiggled her leg up to support her claim)…I deserve to have what I crave!" Alice exclaimed.

"God forbid she actually get hurt…if she had an injury half as serious as yours Bella the entire world would end. We would have to have a priest at her bedside giving her last rights." Rosalie said sarcastically.

" I was seriously injured in a car accident Rose and your going to give me lip!" Alice said pissed. Rose looked at her and shook her head with disgust.

"yum Godiva!" Alice exclaimed when Jasper came back with a couple of chocolate covered strawberries.

"so tomorrow after we leave this joint…we're heading over to the Crown Plaza ( we decided to head over early…we warned our professors that we were going to be missing classes anyways so we were granted an excused absence)…the doctor said that you should stay a few days longer…luckily Edward slipped him $200!" Alice said happily. I looked at Edward.

" it technically wasn't me…Alice stole my wallet." Edward mouthed. Alice smiled and continued on.

"Now drinking…Bells since you have a skull fracture your going to have to take your pain meds and not drink…Rose its up to you what you want to do…I just need to know because I need to know how much sparkling cider to bring in…me on the other hand…not taking my pills that day. I'll just drink until I don't feel my legs anymore!" Alice said.

"Yeah Alice!" Emmett whooped.

"Shut it peanut gallery…Alice did you consider how your going to walk down the isle then?" Rosalie said shocked.

"I said I'm not going to take my pills that day!" Alice said more forceful.

"Okay…Alice you know that you don't have to drink on your wedding day!" I said.

"Pl-ease…if that's not a day to get trashed then I don't know what is!" Alice said.

"Alice you've been preaching about how you want to remember this day. You spent $45,000 on this day and your not going to even remember it." I said shocked.

"That's what the videographer is for duh!" Alice exclaimed.

"Do you really want your kids seeing that video and asking you why you did the electric slide to the Macarena?" I asked.

"Oh guys I don't plan on getting that bad…just enough to dull the pain!" Alice said touching her foot and wincing dramatically.

"You would think that getting so cocked that she forgot that she left her bottle of rum with an alcoholic limo driver would stop her from getting that trashed again. She was so drunk that the cops offered her the number to the nearest AA clinic especially after they looked at her file and noticed that she had a problem with alcohol from a very young age." Edward said.

_Flashback._

EPV

The rescue team had just pulled Alice out. The cop sniffed the air around her as she was placed onto a stretcher.

"Um Miss. Swan…would you be apposed to a breathalyzer test?" the cop asked.

"_No I would not like to take a breathalyzer test…I wasn't driving!" Alice slurred and refused._

_"Miss. Swan…we've looked at your record. This isn't the first time you've had an issue when you were under the influence of alcohol…and definitely not this year. In fact we have a report of you hitting a building a few days ago. Its in your best interest to take the test miss. And while your at it there's an AA meeting place down the street. The number is 475-6403 if you need to call them._

_"I don't appreciate this type of discrimination!" Alice said offended._

_"Don't get smart with us young lady!" the cop warned._

_"is that all you ever say to people…my father is a police chief!" Alice spat._

_"which explains why you've been getting away with everything for so long…just take the test!" the man said._

_"WHAT! maybe if you were nice I'd give you a little breathalyzer!" Alice huffed as they placed her in the ambulance and stuck the breathalyzer machine in her mouth._

_End of flashback_

"are you trying to infer that it was my fault the limousine crashed. I purposely hired a driver so I could get trashed and _not _have to worry about crashing. It's not my fault that he was an alcoholic that likes to commit theft. How many times do I have to say it…I don't have a problem!" Alice said. At this point we could hear a commotion at the nurses station.

"I JUST GOT A CALL ON MY CELLPHONE THAT MY DAUGHTERS …ALICE SWAN AND BELLA CULLEN WERE ADMITED HERE….WHERE ARE THEY?" Charlie's voice rang in.

"Oh shit…we only have a minute before he comes rampaging in here!" Alice said shaking her head. At that point Charlie's pissed off face shown through the doorway.

"ALICE SWAN…HOW DARE YOU GO SO FAR YOUNG LADY!" Charlie roared turning a nice shade of purple.

"Not my fault this time dad…I wasn't the drunk driver…you can blame it on a total stranger!" Alice said informatively.

"AND WHERE IS THIS STRANGER?" Charlie half growled half roared. Just then the limo driver happened to pass my room in the attempt to find a bathroom. He was hooked up to some IV's.

"RIGHT THERE DADDY…HE HURT US!" Alice pointed. Charlie charged at him like a bull.

"GET HIM DADDY!" Alice cheered as Charlie knocked him out cold. Charlie was then escorted to the waiting area where my mother was by security.

"alright well I'm going to go find somewhere to sleep…we'll have to figure out what we're going to do for clothes tomorrow…come along Jasper…night Bells!" Alice said as she and Jasper finally left the room.

"I think I'm going to turn in too…see ya all in the morning!" Rosalie said grabbing Emmett's ear and dragging him out.

_

* * *

_

First flashback...sorry it keeps on moving to the end

_RPV__._

_I was seeing red. What in gods name was he thinking! I almost _died_ and he drives off with that whore? Emmett was going to die…plain and simple. I don't know how but I somehow managed to drive the car back to the dorms in one piece. Next thing I knew I was in the hallway that lead to my dorm room. Flinging the door open I found Emmett sitting on the bed dressed only in his boxers. Bitch was in the nude. Both looked shell shocked seeing me there._

_"YOU LYING, CHEATING, SLEEZY, JACKASS…HOW DARE YOU…YOU BROUGHT HER _HERE…_WHERE WE _SLEEP!"_ I roared flying through the air. My fist connected with the side of Emmett's nose. A swift knee to where the sun doesn't shine and Emmett was effectively out of commission. I held back a little on that one since I wasn't that much of a bitch. I then heard a movement from behind me._

_"where do you think your going home wrecker…your definitely not going to escape me!" I roared. I took her right out!_


	42. bedwritten

**i dont own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 42

BPV

I awoke early the next morning. I looked over to see Edward sleeping in a chair that was pulled up right next to my bed side. Concern was still etched in his face even though he was asleep. I was shocked that he had even fallen asleep. Every time the doctor came in to wake me up and make sure I was okay he was fully awake rubbing my hand reassuringly. Rosalie managed to find the only spare cot left in the hospital and was now curled up right outside my door…all I could see was her head since she wanted to provide enough room for the doctor to get by. Something about wanting to be there for her baby cousin's wife or something like that. She fought with all of the staff to sleep there. Emmett was sleeping in a chair at the foot of her bed. I knew this because Edward and I passed by them in the attempt to find a bathroom in the middle of the night. Alice, Jasper and co. slept in the waiting room. We could hear Alice complaining about how her foot injury should of given her more priority for spare cots then Rosalie. At this point everyone gave up arguing with her. About a minute later Edward's eyes fluttered open.

"What time is it?" Edward asked groggily.

"A little after seven…how long have you slept for?" I asked.

"I fell asleep sometime around five…not that I wanted to…the doctor sedated me. He asked me if I wanted a glass of water and I accepted. There had to be something in it because I was out like a light a minute after drinking it." Edward said. I had a funny feeling that the doctor was following somebody else's orders. Something told me that Carlisle was somehow involved…could have been the message on Edward's phone saying "son I'm sorry…they told me that you haven't slept all night. Charlie and Jasper were concerned…Jasper was offering to ask the doctor if he could inject you with the needle himself!" Jasper walked in at that point holding a fully loaded Sunday with jimmies on top. Wonder who that was for?

"You called dad?" Edward asked half pissed.

"Dad called me…and the hospital staff I might add…something about calling the dorms all night and not getting an answer. I had to tell him what happened…Rosalie is his niece and Bella is his daughter in law after all. Also Alice will be his daughter in law in a few days. They were already at the airport…they took the next flight after Charlie. Grandpa's on the hunt for the limo driver since they released him last night. He and Charlie just left. They shook hands, said 'no one hurts their family members' and left. Don't want to be that guy right now! Your not the only one they sedated. They sedated Alice too, but for different reasons. She refused to sleep on the couch in the waiting room. They found her trying to kick a patient out of their bed a couple of minutes ago. She also raided the janitors closets looking for spare cots. Lets just say that they just gave her a shot of Valium. that's my girl…still awake…the amount they gave her should of knocked out a horse!" Jasper said as the three of us stuck out heads out into the hallway. Alice was in the waiting room…a distance of maybe a little less then 20 ft sitting on a couch glossy eyed.

"Durh!" Alice moaned as her head flopped to the side and all drool came out.

"Allie bear…want some ice cream?" Jasper asked walking over.

"Uh Jasper are you sure she can even swallow?" Edward asked.

"oh sure…she's been on this much valium before…it can melt anyways!" Jasper said as he started to spoon feed Alice. It was then that we were joined by Emmett and Rose.

"Man what happened to Alice…did you guys go out drinking or something?" Emmett asked clapping his hands in front of her unresponsive face.

"Urhhhh!" was Alice's only response.

"they gave her a little something to calm the nerves." Jasper said.

"oh this is turning out to be such a great wedding! My face is stitched up, Bella's got a fractured skull…and just look at Alice. This is such a good omen!" Rosalie said in a very sarcastic manner. Alice's eyes started to roll back in her head and her head hung limp.

" is it me or is everything so slow around here?" Alice asked spaced out of her mind.

"A little something? I want what she's on!…nurse I have anxiety too!" Emmett called out loud. Rosalie slapped him in the back of the head.

"Think!" Rosalie growled and hissed. Alice started to wag her finger in front of her mouth. Her lip gloss was smearing on her face.

"she should be like this for the next few hours…my Allie almost never sleeps on sedatives…that goes to show you how strong the one in my dart gun is…her excessive energy burns it off. If I wasn't going to be married to her…she'd make the perfect case study… 'Extreme ADHD'." Jasper said as Alice started to blow spit bubbles.

" UH I THINK WE NEED A BIB OVER HERE!" Emmett shouted and pointed at Alice while laughing.

"your definitely going to need a bib when I'm done with you!" Rosalie growled. Rosalie had her fist cocked back about to hit Emmett when Carlisle and Esme walked in. she quickly changed her fist to a open hand and waived.

"Hi guys!" Rosalie called happily.

"hey!" They said walking over.

"how are you feeling Bella?" Carlisle asked as the doctor in him came out. He whipped out a small flashlight and flashed it in my eyes.

"Oh you know…your used to this Carlisle…fractured skull…concussion…they're all head injuries. It wont keep me down!" I joked.

" well if you ask me…Alice looks like the one with the head injury…so they had to give her valium too huh…what was it this time? She asked if she could redecorate the children's ward again….are teddy bears not in this year?…in our hospital it was 'neutral's so boring…you want bright pinks and bright blues!'" Carlisle said.

"no this time she was looking for a queen sized bed…you know Alice…she likes her comforts." Jasper said

"Trust me I know…I've seen and heard the stories. Your wife to be over there was a legend in Forks Community Hospital before we came along and not just for alcohol related incidents. On my six month anniversary of working there actually Alice caused a scene. We had just treated you for hypothermia Bella. Alice said she slipped on a patch of ice and broke a nail. She thought she broke her hand and was screaming in the waiting room. They tried to get her to sit down but she refused to sit on vinyl couches. Emmett son you came in right after with a broken eye socket claiming something about a bar fight. We found fingernail marks under your eye and we found a nail in your hair. Guy must have had really nice ones…they were manicured and everything. The chief threw disgusted looks at your room. Even though you still deny it …it isn't hard to figure out what happened. " Carlisle said in a factual tone. We all turned and looked at Emmett.

"so I fought a guy with nice nails…so shoot me. oh alright Alice kicked my ass. I did nothing out of the ordinary that day. You know: wake up, brush my teeth, harass Bella…I'll admit I may of went a little overboard when I duck taped her to the school roof and wrote 'Shakespeare's lover' all over her face. Jasper you definitely didn't have to tell Alice that you l spotted me on the roof. And you didn't have to pull the fire alarm!" Emmett huffed. Edward turned towards Jasper and I.

"that was the two weeks that my diary was lost…apparently _someone _went shopping and threw my diary under a pile of clothes in the closet to make room for her new 'curious' perfume. By the time I found it there was new Emmett McCarthy endeavors to write about." I said.

" like I told you before how was I supposed to know that you'd wind up with her…besides that was the day that your law class went to Seattle to watch the judicial system in action. You were especially psyched because there was a medical malpractice suit going on that day. I didn't want to burst your bubble…and again I figured that she wouldn't want that known." Jasper said.

"It was only half the school day…what's the big deal!" Emmett countered.

"Emmett you left her up there for three hours…in the middle of January…in _FORKS!…_alright what's the full story?" Edward growled. If Alice was coherent their faces would have been identical.

__

Flashback.

BPV

I had just arrived at the school. Alice had some trouble picking out what outfit that she wanted to debut today so she was going to leave a few minutes later. Something about trying to match her completion while going with the season. There had been 4 inches of new snow the night before which was complicating her decision. Should she go with the white sweater or the blue tinted off white. She was still fighting with herself when I left. As I stepped out of the cab I noticed a very large figure behind me. Emmett was looking even more menacing because his coat added twenty pounds of bulk to him.

" oh Shakespeare's lover…COME HERE!" Emmett roared . I dashed across the parking lot but Emmett ,being twelve times bigger and surprisingly more coordinated then me, had caught up quickly. I was trying to climb up the fence to the tennis courts when Emmett pulled me off. At that point a strong sent of alcohol filled my nose. I was going to be in for it this time. Though I don't know how he did it…Emmett managed to get us both on the roof. There was a spot already dug out in the middle.

"Now I figured that the birds were going to be lonely so I nominated

"Your lover would love me….you could totally act out that poem about ravens!" Emmett said making a bird sound. I couldn't talk through my beak , but that idiot was obviously talking about Edgar Allen Poe not Shakespeare . Honestly, if his dad wasn't who he was, Emmett wouldn't of earned a C in English.

" Oh damn it! Jasper's late…now I wont be able to tell him about how I gave the birdies a new playmate!" Emmett exclaimed pissed. He was pissed off for the wrong reason. The idiot didn't realize that he was probably just spotted…which he really should of though of since he was wearing a bright red jacket and I could see Jasper's high beams reflecting off of him. I didn't hold out much hope though…even if Jasper saw Emmett…there are plenty of reasons-not to do with me- that Emmett could be on the roof. I sighed and waited for rescue.

JPV.

Today was a day that I had no classes with Allie because after I got into the car I received a text that she couldn't decide what to wear so she was going to miss first period. I sighed. That meant I wasn't going to see her till lunch. I pulled up to see Emmett waiving retardedly on the roof. If Edward was here I would of asked him why he was friends with that kid. But he was on a bus heading to Seattle for a field trip right now. I would of envied him if not for the fact that he had to wake up at 5am and the roads weren't even plowed yet. I didn't put much thought into it…after all Emmett was stupid. He probably thought it was a class or looking for the third floor swimming pool. I shook my head and went to the office to get a slip.

I gave no thought to this for the rest of the morning. Then lunch rolled around. I grabbed my usual seat next to Allie. We talked about a party that Alice was planning to host at our house.

"So the whole school minus Bella is coming…I really wish that she'd come to one party…wouldn't kill her!" Alice went on happily. Something hit me. I hadn't

"Alice…where's Bella?" I asked.

"I don't know…I was going to ask you…she left before me this morning. I'll be so mad if she grew some balls and skipped with out asking me!" Alice slightly concerned. I had figured that Bella's absence was due to her being sick, but if Alice said that she left before her this morning then it made sense why Emmett was on the roof.

"oh shit…listen Alice…I think we have a problem! When I pulled in this morning I saw Emmett on the roof." I started.

"OH MY GOD…YOU THINK HE HAS HER…THAT ASSHOLE…I'M GOING UP TO THE ROOF…DO SOMETHING JASPER…GET SOMEONE'S ATTENTION!" Alice roared running away. I didn't know what to do. There was no teachers in the cafeteria. So I did something out of the ordinary…even for me. I snuck out into the hallway and pulled the fire alarm. I was desperate…I left my cellphone at home. I looked away and tried not to smile as I broke the glass and pulled the alarm. Lucky for me the hallway I was in had no cameras or else I would have been expelled. I then met Alice on the roof as students evacuated the building. The teachers looked pissed off…that was until they saw us standing on the roof.

you _to come play with them!" Emmett said as he duck taped me down. He placed a fake beak on me, wrote on my face, threw glue all over my clothes, and proceeded to dump feathers on me. _seen_ Bella all day. ___

" OH MY GOD…I BOUGHT HER THAT COAT…..ITS RUINED…

"I think we're going to need an ambulance…Alice there's something really wrong!" I said. Alice's eyes blazed in a fury that I had only seen in Rosalie. Remind me not to piss off Alice.

"YOU!….MY FATHER WONT GET HERE FAST ENOUGH!" Alice roared. Next thing I knew…Kapow …Emmett was flat on his ass and not from Alcohol.

"AWWWWWWW….MY NAIL…YOUR FACE BROKE MY HAND!" Alice roared as Emmett's eye swelled up. It was then that Charlie came charging up out of breath. He looked at Bella, and then Emmett before his eyes rested on Alice who was holding her hand.

"Good job Alice…remember for the next time…tuck your thumb in!" Charlie said. Most parents don't condone violence. Charlie actually praised Alice…and told her how to do it better next time.

"You son will be spending a long long night in jail…once you get your eye checked!" Charlie snarled at Emmett while leading him away in hand cuffs. Alice started crying about her hand and jumped into the ambulance. I jumped in my car and followed. I didn't think we'd be doing much after finding the Bella-popsicle on the roof.

End of flashback.

$200. BUCKS. DOWN. THE. DRAIN._ WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU GLUE FEATHERS TO HER!" Alice roared disgusted. No one seemed to be paying attention to the fact that Bella was still tied up and was out there for three hours. I ran over and began to untapped her. I made a mental note not to tell Edward this. As much as I hated Emmett and I wanted to see Edward kick his ass I didn't want to embarrass Bella. When I took Bella's beak off her lips were blue._

"Like I said Jasper…are you 'eye spy' or something?…and Emmett…really? duck taping people to snow covered roof tops…you wonder why Charlie hates you so much!" Edward growled.

"wow…I'm dating an asshole!" Rose said pissed.

"what…it was a long time ago." Emmett moaned. Alice slumped over on the couch and stared aimlessly at the ceiling.

" for that your damn lucky!" Edward countered.

"man that was some of my best shit though…you looked just like a chicken!" Emmett said as he made clucking noises. Edward growled and narrowed his eyes. Rosalie stepped on his foot.

"you say something like that at a time like this…Alice is sedated and Bella has a skull fracture…you can be a huge ass sometimes Emmett…seriously do you not have a concept of when to shut the fuck up?" Rosalie growled. Emmett immediately clammed up.

Alice came around a little while later. She wasn't too thrilled when she did. She talked about suing the hospital for sedating her. Rosalie talked her out of it, saying that they could argue that there was a need to knock her out for the safety of the other patients and or staff members. After we were released we got our stuff set up at the hotel. We were all in one suite until the night before the ceremony. They were going to work out sleeping arrangements then. I couldn't do much since I was placed on mandatory bed rest. Alice rested on the bed next to me. She argued that it was easier so that no one had to dash between rooms. Frankly I think she used that as a rouse, her real plan being to gossip my ear off or something like that. Her foot was propped about three feet above her head. She whipped out these little white bells with "A+J+ February Fourteenth= Together Forever" written in hot pink. I looked at Alice.

"What…so I may of taken some of the guests hand outs…its not like they're going to be needed for the next couple of days!" Alice said defending herself. Just then Emmett shoved Rosalie into our bedroom .

"Babe honestly I don't need to rest…I only have stitches in my face…its not like I broke a bone or something like that!" Rosalie pleaded.

"Nonsense…Rosalie I need to do this…I want to show you that I can be the doting boyfriend…now go to bed!" Emmett commanded running over to the pull out couch in the corner of the bedroom and pulling it out ( the rooms were very big). Rosalie plopped down on the bed like a five year old being scolded. Emmett walked away, locking the door behind him.

"honestly I think this is all because he feels guilty. No matter if he strayed or not he knows that he shouldn't of been in the room with a naked girl and he knows that he's in deep shit. He also knows that he shouldn't of left us for dead on the side of the road. That's why he's doing this. Doting boyfriend my ass. More like he's trying to kiss ass!" Rosalie huffed falling back on the pillows.

"JAZZY…JAZZY…I NEED YOU TO GET MY FACIAL MASK…I WANT A FACIAL!" Alice rang a little while later. She rang that bell all day long. I swore if she kept it up I was going to go crazy. I felt bad for my poor brother in law but hell he wanted to marry her.

"Thank you…and can you get me some apple juice…and my cell phone…and a salad!" Alice asked as her love slave handed her the materials for her facial.

"Right away Alice!" Jasper said running away

"Such a wonderful man!" Alice sighed as Jasper handed her what she ordered. She then picked up her phone and dialed a number.

"Yes hi this is Alice Swan…I was just wondering how the cake is going…what do you mean…this is only the fifteenth time I called today!…look buddy I'm getting married in three days…I don't want to have to explain to the guests why the cake is red instead of a reddish pink. Now you will let me call when I want to and you will have no complaints about that…comprende!" Alice said in a slightly harsh tone. Alice was going to be going nuts over the next three days.

"ugh people…cant even plan a quickie wedding with out having something go wrng…the man actually complained that I cared about my cake. Well excuse me for wanting to have the perfect wedding. I cant exactly walk to the bakery now can I …I think I have a right to know what the hell is going on with my deserts….besides like they would call me if something went wrong!" Alice huffed.

"JASPER…JASPER…CAN YOU TAKE MY PLATE AND GLASS NOW!" Alice called. I swore to god the ringing in my head would never cease. Jasper came running in again. His eyes actually went cross eyed….that's how hard Alice was driving him

" EWW OMG JASPER…YOUR EYES….YOUR EYES….YOUR CROSSEYED MAN!" Alice shrieked freaking out. Jasper started to rub his face frantically. Rosalie walled up behind him and smacked so hard across his head that his eyes straightened out.

"Thanks Rose!" Jasper said.

"No problem…now you wouldn't happen to have anything to you know!" Rosalie said making a sealing gesture over her mouth and pointing to Alice.

" believe me Rose I really want to but I cant…Alice would get mad and I don't want her mad at me right now" Jasper said.

" well then do you at least have some ear plugs…the bell noise is getting on my nerves." Rose said.

"Those I do have…see with Charlie staying here the night before the wedding…Alice wanted to be prepared for every scenario possible and she got a little overzealous at the store…so we have like over twenty boxes….as you can tell that was before everything went down." Jasper said handing over a pair of deep purple ones. Rosalie put them in, opened up a book, and started to read. I fell asleep while Alice started to read Vogue bridals "twenty tips on what to do in the days before the big event."

I woke up about two hours later to find Edward sitting there with two bowls of soup. Alice and Rose were both gone. He smiled as I started to dig in.

"You had a long nap there…two hours. I would too though if I were locked up in a room with Alice all day long…she tried to summon me to wake you up a couple of times so she could go over those poses with you again. I told her absolutely not. You should of seen Emmett's face when she made him hold up a mirror to practice her poses ." Edward said.

"speaking of everyone else…where are they?" I asked.

"Rose forced Emmett to take her out to eat…said that he would be doting on her if he did that…Jasper wanted to go out with Alice. She pulled out the doctor card. They wound up compromising by having room service in the living room. So she'll be back really soon" Edward said.

"EDWARD IS SHE AWAKE YET?" Alice's voice carried in.

"Hold on one minute!" Edward said walking out. A second later he walked back in and shut the door.

"I told Alice that you were still sleeping and you weren't to be disturbed for at least the next half hour…and to stop screaming like that because she was going to loose her voice before the wedding. I figured you needed a little bit of quiet time." Edward said as he laid down and wrapped his arm around me. We stayed like that for the next half hour. It was as if time stopped. As if we were the only two people in the universe. He gently stroked my hair, avoiding the place where the fracture was. We then traced the paths of each others tattoos. Right as our lips were about to meet Alice burst down the door.

"Bella are you awake yet…I gave you a half hour…oh shit did I interrupt something?" Alice asked stopping dead in her tracks.

"I did didn't I…I'm sorry about that , I should of knocked." Alice said answering her own question.

"So anyways back to what I came in for before that little awkward moment…now lets go over those poses again. I want to make sure that they're perfect!" Alice beamed.

"Now first up the 'pretending to pay attention while I'm actually posing for the camera' pose again!" Alice said making a face. That was an easy pose. I practiced it a lot over the past few weeks whenever Alice brought up the wedding.

"good…now for the remembering your wedding vows one…we really cant practice the other one because we don't have any of the props or else I would of did that." Alice said.

"Alice um aren't you supposed to be in the living room…like way down the hallway?" Edward said.

"Yeah well room service hasn't arrived yet and Jasper went down to yell at them. And see he really didn't check to see if I left behind him…so I have some free time…now I wanted to ask you some questions about the wedding night. See I know you had to stay with us at Charlie's but we did give you guys some alone time. Is it different?…is it better? Common Bella…I'm your sister…I have a right to know these things!" Alice demanded.

" Alice…just because your open about _your_ personal life doesn't mean the rest of us are. How many times do I have to ask you not to ask my wife about our sex life. That's private information that's between me and Bella not me, Bella, you, Jasper, Emmett, Rose, all of Face book, and practically anyone you speak to.

"I spread that rumor once…and you never let me live it down. I said sorry!" Alice said annoyed. Jessica had pride that people thought something conspired between her and Edward because of Alice's rumor. She actually thanked Alice.

" Alice…gossip to you is like breathing. Its amazing that you could hold on to any secrets. What does shit follow you and Jasper around. Also…you have the mouth of Emmett. Talk…talk…talk. So between the fact that your always with 'Eye spy'…so you see everything, and the fact that you love to spin the truth…why do you think we're not telling you anything." Edward said shaking his head. Alice gave a look like she smelled a bad onion or something.

"Whatever…I'll find out in a couple of days!" Alice said walking away. Right as she left we could hear the door open down the hall with the sound of wheel's squeaking.

"I gotta say Bella…that marriage will be interesting to say the least!" Edward said with a soft chuckle in his voice.

"lets just say we warned him!" I agreed.


	43. Alice's big day part 1

**i don't own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 43

BPV.

Time flew by in the blink of an eye. The minute she could Alice went full throttle. She was like bridezilla on crack or something…I actually felt bad for some of the staff people who had volunteered to help out. The day before the ceremony we were all downstairs setting everything up. Alice took it upon herself to bark orders at everyone. I swear to god we must of moved the floral arrangements around the alter fifteen times before she was satisfied. Emmett had hung up a huge net holding approximately 50 pounds of confetti for the third time when The Bride of Jasperstein struck again.

"Ehm Emmett…you know that huge heart picture of me and Jasper that's behind the alter?" Alice asked. Emmett turned around.

"Yeah…what's wrong now?" Emmett asked. Emmett was the one who hung it up…and adjusted it thousands of times to get it to Alice's liking. It was a huge 10 foot heart which held the year book superlative in it.

" Well see I'm looking at it now…and its too far to the left…move it please?" Alice said. This set Emmett off. I knew someone was going to crack. Alice was acting that out of her mind. The stress of the wedding was definitely getting to her.

"I MOVE IT LEFT….YOU SAY ITS TOO FAR TO THE LEFT…I MOVE IT RIGHT AND YOU SAY ITS TOO FAR TO THE RIGHT…IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE JOB I'M DOING THEN DO IT YOUR SELF!" Emmett snarled. Half the room cheered.

"Don't talk to me like that…you know that I'm disabled!" Alice said pointing to her foot.

"PLEASE ALICE…YOUR FOOT IS STITCHED TOGETHER! WHOOPTY DOO YOUR INJURED! OH WHY DON'T WE JUST GO FULL OUT AND CARRY YOU UP THE STAIRS IN A CANOPY QUEEN ALICE!" Emmett snarled. Alice huffed offended.

"I would say something…but I'm going to take the higher road Emmett. Yeah I'll admit that I've been acting very crazy lately and I'm sorry about that. I'll try to calm down a little bit…but that in no way gives you the right to speak to me like that! This is not your wedding Emmett…its mine and Jaspers. I AM THE BRIDE! NOT YOU! Which means you do what I say…with a-" Alice was cut off by Emmett.

"Smile on your face…I know! You gave everyone the exact same speech for the last wedding . You even said 'I AM THE BRIDE…I MEAN MAID OF HONOR! I AM SECOND IN COMMAND AND THE BRIDE ISN'T HERE RIGHT NOW WHICH MEANS YOU LISTEN TO ME!'" Emmett said finishing her sentence.  
"good, then we have an understanding…now would you pretty please move the picture…thank you!" Alice said as Emmett went up on the ladder behind the isle.

"You know Alice…don't be shocked if something goes wrong!" I warned. Though what else could go wrong I really don't know.

"are you trying to insinuate Bella?" Alice asked with her eyes narrowing.

"No…I'm just trying to say that if you expect the perfect wedding it wont happen. Really all that matters is that you marry your soul mate. Your going to drive yourself nuts putting all of this stress on yourself...just look how stressed Rosalie is over all of this" I said as we turned and looked at Rosalie who was so stressed that she had a facial twitch going.

"yeah that wont look good in the wedding album!" Alice said looking weirdly at Rose.

"How come you don't seem that stressed?" Alice asked me.

"Believe me Alice I am…but I know when to mentally step back for a second and take a breath." I said. At that point Edward joined us. He looked over at Rose.

"Congratulations Alice…you just managed to destroy 5 years of therapy." Edward said. Alice and I turned towards him.

"oh whenever Rose got stressed as a child she developed a facial twitch…her parents put her into therapy to teach her ways on how to release stress. She finally lost the twitch fully around five years ago. Guess it came back." Edward said answering the unspoken question.

"oops!" Alice said looking down embarrassed.

"Well its not all my fault…you saw how she acted the night of the accident. That stunt Emmett pulled with Kate The Stripper must of added extra stress." Alice said.

" well Jasper said that he'd remind her of her breathing techniques once we're finished in here. Alice I know you want this wedding to go well …but your stressing everyone else out. Could you please die it down a little…its not going to help the wedding if the wedding party is in a mental intuition. Rosalie's already half way there!" Edward said as Rosalie's twitch caused her to trip over a fifty pound vase that Alice had next to the alter. Well I don't know if it was the twitch that caused that …the vase was Chrystal and right under a light.

"MY VASE!" Alice called running over. I didn't know why she was concerned over it…the thing didn't even break.

"Good not even a scratch…that would of so ruined the wedding…could you imagine having an alter with one Chrystal vase…can you say asymmetrical…so not in this year!" Alice exclaimed relieved. Edward shot me a look that told me we were thinking the same thing. Oh my god…Alice is crazy.

"alright so ceremony room is set, reception area is set, florist is on his way back to pick up our flowers, Baker is adding the last touches on the cake in the kitchen right now, musicians for the ceremony are arriving in the morning with the harpist arriving first, the DJ for the reception is checking in as we speak, doves are in their cages, belly dancers are up in their room…" Alice was going on. Emmett's head shot up at the word ' Belly dancers'. Rosalie smacked him across the face.

"Don't worry Rose…they've been advised to stay away from the guy with a steroid addiction, jugglers are in route, bartender is heading to the liquor store to stock up on liquor…guess Emmett, Jasper and I made one hell of an impression last night, Caterers are coming early tomorrow morning. and mom's rectifying Charlie's mistake…if you call spilling red wine all over the brides pink satin dress a mistake. What the fuck was he thinking…an entire bottle open and sitting right on top of my dress SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK! I told him not to put anything on it…not even a paper clip…and he puts an entire bottle of ' Black Swan Shiraz' on it. Seriously if the drycleaner cant get it out…people will speak. Wait a minute…I got it…I'll add a bow if I have to. But seriously Bella, last wedding he burned my makeup stand- don't think I forgot about that…by the way Charlie's banned from my makeup area…if you see him any where near it…pull him away. Lord knows we don't need to loose any more to the trash man- now he ruins my dress. We can just thank god there wasn't another Swan sister in the family…he'd fuck that wedding up too. Lord knows what he'd get himself into!" Alice said.

"I didn't even know dad drank red wine." I said.

"apparently that man is full of surprises…besides one daughter just got married and the other is getting hitched tomorrow. From what I understand that can cause fathers to go bonkers, though that doesn't excuse them from ruining their daughters dresses…or burning their makeup stands for firewood. Really…I mean really…did he have to burn my first vanity…that's like if I burned his first fishing rod. I totally wanted it to be here for tomorrow…we went through so much together. We made miracles together…especially with you Bella!" Alice said as if her child died. We already know what miracles you worked with it Alice…you really didn't need to say that.

"I remember the day I picked it out as if it were yesterday. I was in the furniture store looking for a desk top…the desk top that matched said vanity. We had just gotten our computer a couple days before hand and we really needed one. I rounded the corner of the girls bedroom furniture and there it was. It spoke to me 'buy me Alice…buy me…together we can work miracles!'" Alice said with a sparkle in her eye.

"And your parents never thought to get Alice help?" Edward asked turning towards me.  
"They did…this is the result of like twelve years of therapy. She stopped after we got into NYU…something about not making progress when your 3,000 miles away from your shrink. You should of seen her as a child." I said.

"And then DAD BURNED IT! All these years I dreamed of having my makeup stand, my vanity, my friend, in my room on the day that I was supposed to get married…and I cant have that now because dad WANTED FIRE WOOD…he couldn't cut a tree down…seriously! Is it that hard to take an ax to a tree…or even better a chain saw. But noo he had to burn the perfectably usable makeup stand….now I have to use the bathroom mirrors…fluorescents in a white bathroom…hello can you say Casper much! The lighting in the bedrooms are so much better yet no mirrors! " Alice gripped as if she weren't interrupted.

"Casper the friendLY Ghost!" Emmett sang.

"Emmett SHUT IT!" Rosalie said under her breath.

"Emmett if you don't shut up this instant…when you get married so help me god…you will regret calling me Casper. I'll find ways of torturing you while pulling off the perfect wedding at the same time. You know I can do it Emmett!" Alice growled. Emmett looked scared.

" that's better…now back to work people…D-Day Rehearsal is in T minus-3.5 hours and we need this place up in ready by then!" Alice said clapping her hands. Everyone scampered off like ants.

"ugh this is truly my calling!" Alice beamed as everything seemed to assemble itself. Just then the baker walked in.

"I'm taking a 15 minute break to get something to eat…I'll be right back." The baker said.

"okay I understand!" Alice said. Something dawned on her as the baker reached the doorway.

"Wait a minute if your taking a break…who's watching my wedding cake?" Alice asked.

"oh your dad walked in and said that he was perfectably capable of watching the cake. I told him slightly burn the edges of the scroll decorations that are supposed to go on the side…you know the old look you were going for Alice, because he asked if there was something that he could help with." The baker said. Alice nodded and the baker left.

"oh this is not going to go well!" Alice moaned. She then turned towards everyone else.

"Emmett…Emmett… the flower filled canopy needs to be pushed 5 inches forward…the minister cant be the only one standing under it…you…man who just picked up the pink tipped roses from the beginning of the isle…put those down immediately they were fine where they were!…Go check on my father…he's in the kitchen near my wedding cake and I just saw the baker…I can smell smoke…god knows what he did in there!" Alice dictated.

EPV

The next three and a half hours flew by. Charlie completely messed up his job along with some of the paper and floral decorations that Alice had on her wedding cake. The baker threw a fit once he got back. Alice wasn't too thrilled either. She told him very loudly that he should never be allowed near fire again. Before we knew it though we were back upstairs meeting up with everyone.

" Alright lets talk sleeping arrangements, Edward I know that your Jasper's brother, but your also married to Bella…so you have a choice…" Charlie said.

"I think I'll stay with my wife tonight…if that's alright Charlie?" I answered. I agreed to stay for two reasons; I didn't trust Alice near Bella on the night before Alice's big day even with their parents there and secondly I felt bad that Chief Swan was going to be the only man there.

"Edward I totally understand your answer…but Chief Swan that's not fair. When I asked to stay with Alice the night before Bella got married all I got was a big fat no!" Jasper said the second part offended.

" well you weren't married to Alice at the time…besides you stayed over the next night!" Charlie countered.

" That doesn't count…you came down the stairs every half hour with a flashlight and your .38 pointed right at me. I had to sleep 3 feet away from Alice…and you measured! In fact the only reason why Bella and Edward consummated their marriage was because Alice caught you in a flying tackle at the foot of the stairs. You must have some really poor balance if someone who's five feet tall and weighs almost nothing could take you down. Alice had to lock you up in your room. Huh that's ironic…Alice locking you up. Usually it's the opposite. Must of felt weird huh. What's more ironic was Emmett had to stand guard. Usually you're the one guarding your daughters against Emmett." Jasper said.

"Oh that reminds me…Alice you still owe me $30 for guarding Bella's door." Emmett said holding his hand out.

"Well Emmett you still owe me $40 with 10% interest for destroying Bella's pants at the Yorkie party over the summer plus money for the three hours that I spent shouting out her pants. You keep this up and by this June your going to owe me fifty four dollars…and I will collect!" Alice countered. Emmett looked at her as if she was nuts.  
"how do you even remem-" Emmett started up but was cut off by Alice. Charlie was too busy blocking his ears to pay attention to the conversation.

"LALALALA…NOT LISTENING!" Charlie interrupted .

" not all of us were that obliviated that we had to be told what we did the next day…and be threatened that the police chief would find out. Besides Emmett…THREE HOURS SPENT SCRUBBING PANTS THAT I BROUGHT JUST TO HAVE THEM WIND UP IN THE HANDS OF THE SALVATION ARMY! AND WHY? BECAUSE YOU HAD TO SHOVE 'BELLA THE LIGHTWEIGHT' DOWN THE STAIRS!" Alice snarled the last part. Rosalie shook her head.

"Emmett's the poster child for impulsiveness…which has bad results when mixed with idiotic asshole...don't worry Alice if Emmett doesn't willingly pay I'll stronghold him into doing it…you should of told me about this debt sooner , but you will definitely have the money by tonight if I have something to say about it!" Rosalie said glaring at Emmett. Emmett pulled out his wallet, opened it, and looked around at everyone embarrassed.

"uh um…there wouldn't happen to be an ATM around here would there…see uh I kind of blew through all of my money for this week in sports authority….they had every Seahawks team's members authentic jersey and in my size…I had to have them all. It was a once in a life time opportunity!" Emmett stammered out.

"Oh. My. God…we were supposed to pitch in money for the room and you didn't tell me this….HOW THE FUCK ARE WE GOING TO PAY EMMETT…WE AGREED THAT CASH WOULD BE THE BEST WAY TO PAY SINCE IT WOULD BE EASIER TO HAND OVER THE MONEY….GOD YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT!" Rose growled.

"that's what an ATM is for babe…duh!" Emmett said trying to sound smart but just sounding more idiotic. I held Bella close. I almost killed Emmett that night. It took all of my strength not to find him and kill him for that stunt. I still had Jasper's text from that night on my phone.

"Emmett your account is down to $50 dollars that's not enough for everything we need to get never mind this hotel!" Rosalie countered. Emmett had taken a considerable cut back on his allowance after his dad got caught on those extortion charges. Rosalie didn't know that though. Emmett came up with some grand lie that his father left for Africa with another woman. It was the best lie he ever told. He got a little overboard when he said that it was some princess of a small country but Rose bought it. I told him to tell the truth but you know Emmett. The truth wasn't his forte. Alice helped him with the bullshit which explains the princess part. Since Rose was in France at the time she didn't know about Emmett's dad.

"Rose I cant help that my dad went to-uh Africa…yeah Africa…he's in Africa….where else would he be…in his palace with his new wife…dressed up in jail stripes…I mean zebra stripes…I mean he wouldn't be wearing jail stripes…haha…and prison orange isn't really his thing!" Emmett sputtered really fast getting caught up in his lie.

"What are you talking about Emmett?" Rose asked confused.

"Nothing…just ranting…a man cant rant after the loss of his father….oh look it…McDonalds…I think I'll skip the rehearsal and get myself a big mac…I'm not needed there anyways!" Emmett said, his voice rising three octaves. Alice looked like she found her way to torture Emmett and pull off his perfect wedding.

"why does he act so weird whenever we bring anything up close to his father?" Rosalie asked.

"Rosalie there's something you need to-" Bella, Jasper and I started up but were cut off by Alice who wanted to keep her torture device

"you know how boys are…their daddy runs off with some bohemian princess…I've seen pictures-very exotic beautiful woman -poor Crissy…then again she's just as smart as Emmett so she probably thinks that he just didn't come back yet from getting groceries. Honestly I never seen a kid so devastated…I wonder if in her country they ever heard of Channel?" Alice said to save ass.

"Really…Alice does this woman have a name?" Rosalie asked suspicious.

"some weird exotic name...bezanthala or something messed up like that…I don't know…these days you cant really pronounce names anymore. I really didn't catch a last name either…all I know is that I drove Emmett to the airport to stop them but when we got there they were already at the terminal waiving at us as they boarded the plane. The divorce papers came a week later via air mail and Mrs. McCarthy signed them thinking that it was some weird thing to fill out for Emmett's college. Poor boy had to hire an attorney all by him self just so he and his mommy could stay in his house!" Alice said. I could totally picture Mrs. McCarthy holding up divorce papers and saying "look Emmy bear I filled out your student loan application" even though their rich and Emmett would never need a student loan.

"he never told me about that part…that's fucked!" Rosalie said.

"yeah well you know what they say about the rich…always wanting more!" Alice said. Everyone but Rose saw the double meaning there.

"So enough about Emmett…its me and Jasper's party and its supposed to be about me-I mean us tonight. Lets get going!" Alice demanded running away. I wasn't looking forward to an all about Alice fest…tomorrow night couldn't come soon enough! We then went down stairs.  
BPV.

The party passed by in a blur. Before we knew anything it was the next morning. Alice took it upon herself to be everyone's wakeup call. She ran into our room at five in the morning with a bucket of melted ice water and dumped it on our heads. Edward rolled out of bed swearing his head off.

"Rise and shine sissy and soon to be brother in law to the second power…today's the big day…so much to do so little time!" Alice roared running to the curtain and opening it. Dawn was just breaking.

"Alice your not getting married till much later…chill out…how the hell are you up now anyways…did you even go to sleep last night?" I moaned rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and squeezing the water out of my hair.

"Oh the power of red bull…Emmett was kind enough to buy me some last night…I did manage to catch two hours of sleep last night but that's all I needed…I was too nervous to sleep anyways." Alice bounced. Emmett should of never did that…oh crap I knew we forgot to tell him something.

"So what did you do with the spare time?" I asked.

"I managed to make a few phone calls…got a few extra bridesmaids since Jazzy went a little overzealous with inviting groomsmen. You know its too bad that that one guy got screwed over and couldn't get a room with us…I would of liked to have everyone meet up before the wedding but that's what happens when you try to book the week before the ceremony. I also made more bridesmaids dresses…you had to see it…I was moving at the speed of light. Thank god I brought a portable sewing machine and the girls are just about my size. I didn't even need a manikin…I knew where to clip! So everyone should be arriving right now." Alice gabbered on.

"well that's great…especially getting them last minute and everything." I agreed

you know I love throwing parties. I have a feeling that things are going to get very interesting!" Alice said throwing a look at Rosalie's room with her eye twinkling. What the fuck?

"lets just say that after tonight Emmett wont be taking Rose for granted anymore!" Alice said in that tone of voice. Guess that meant there was going to be fireworks tonight.

"Speaking of Rose…I have to go wake her up…we all have to have our mani's, pedi's and hair done…don't get me started on makeup…especially you Bella with the raccoon eyes and Rose with the scar face…we're going to need a tub of councilor!" Alice said turning towards the door.

"Alice I would let her wake up by herself if I were you. You cant just wake her up like that…it takes her a little bit to get up." Edward warned.

"oh hosh posh Eddie…who's the bride here…me that's who…Rosalie will get up when I tell her to get up…end of story!" Alice said walking to Rose's room.

"there she goes…into the lions den…don't say I didn't warn her!" Edward said rolling his eyes.

"Rosie…wakey wakey…its wedding time!" Alice said opening the door. We then heard a very tiger/ lion like roar emanate from the bedroom.

"oh Rose you don't scare me…get up!" Alice said unfazed. We then heard a louder, more ferocious roar. The scuffling of feet said that Rosalie was up…and pissed. Alice ran out of the room screaming. She came back in to our room panting. Her hair was now sticking up to the side and her new Victoria secret pjs were ripped. Just then the door opened. Emmett walked in with a bag of McDonalds and wearing sweats and a Reebok head band. He must of just came back from his morning jog

"Rosie what did I do this time?" Emmett asked afraid. I couldn't believe Emmett heard Rose from down the hall. Alice turned.

"Emmett…what the fuck are you doing here…your supposed to be guarding Jasper…make sure he doesn't make a break for it or get near me! IF I'M LEFT STANDING AT THE ALTER BY MY SELF BECAUSE JASPER DEVELOPED A CASE OF COLD FEET WHILE YOUR JABBERING TO ROSE IN HERE YOU WILL DIE…GOT IT!" Alice hissed. I thought venom was going to come out of her mouth. Emmett backed up shocked.

"wow someone's gone bridezilla…think we should call the army in?" Emmett joked.

"I wouldn't if I were you Emmett…someone might mistake you for Godzilla and shoot you…don't want that huh!" Alice snapped back.

"okay…now I know why I volunteered to sleep with Jasper!" Emmett said. At this point Rosalie joined everyone in the hallway.

"Oh so I see why you were yelling Rose…Alice has gone off the deep end…I brought us all breakfast…hope you don't mind…don't worry I laid off the carbs…got everyone parfaits so Alice wont freak out over everyone loosing their figures…well I did get egg mcmuffins for the guys. Didn't get your parents anything…I saw them standing in line." Emmett said. Alice looked like she was about to say something about leaving the love of her life all alone on the day of their marriage so I blocked her mouth.

"Thank you Emmett…that was very nice…Alice really appreciates it deep down inside." I said.

We were running around like crazy people that day. Edward and I barely had a minute to ourselves even though we were in the same place. Edward and Charlie went off with the boys while Alice dragged us to the hair salon and the spa located in the hotel. After that it was off to get manicures and pedicures. We met back up in the room…Charlie and Edward already in their suits. The guys were wearing pitch black suits with a pink tie and white undershirt with pink tipped roses that looked out of a magazine. Emmett was still on Jasper patrol. Alice grudgingly agreed to this a couple of days ago. I headed into my room to get the dress that Alice wanted me to wear on. This was the first time that I was going to see it. I un zippered the bag and shook my head. The dress looked like it was out of "Gone with the wind" or something like that. It was an all white A-line with lace hanging off the sleeves and a hot pink sash. Alice went with a tie up back but surprisingly I didn't have a problem with it. As I finished getting the dress on I heard what sounded like Alice coughing followed by Edward getting pushed through my door. I had a serious case of de ja vous. I was going to have to ask her how she does that.

"trust me you'll thank me some day…CHARLIE. PUT. THAT. DOWN…NOW!" Alice roared the last part. I looked at Edward who was holding a small box. I felt like I was going to melt.

"now Bella I know that with your sisters wedding we agreed to exchange on a later date but I couldn't wait. Happy Valentines Day!" Edward said handing the small gift wrapped box over to me. I immediately went to the desk and grabbed my gift for him. I had gotten him his favorite cologne. I had never seen the name on the bottle but the minute I described it Alice knew what it was. It took a couple of weeks to track down because its not commonly carried in stores. But we eventually found it in some boutique in soho. I also got him a personally autographed Lady Gaga CD that was signed " any family of Alice is a friend of mine…if you need anything let me know…Alice and Jasper know how to contact me!…Gaga!"

"funny you should say that, I was going to give this to you at the reception but now's perfect!' I said handing him a small gift bag. We looked at each other and opened them at the same time. In the little box was a diamond heart charm with a bracelet. I was slightly stunned at its beauty for a second. He communicated my thoughts exactly.

"this is perfect!" Edward said walking over to me and beaming.

"My thoughts exactly!" I beamed putting the bracelet on. His eyes bored into mine almost like he was seeing into my soul. After a minute he closed the distance between our lips. The fire, the passion, the electricity, struck in such a powerful blast. The hotel could of exploded and we wouldn't of known about it. Next thing we knew the door opened.

"alright you two break it up…man I heard of people in the wedding party hooking up before but after they had a few drinks at the reception!" Alice said in a Charlie like manner. As she was trying to break us up she happened to catch a glimpse of her right hand. Her eyes narrowed in on a small defect on the gold band of her index finger. Out of all the things that could cause her to snap this was the most ridiculous, insignificant reason. But it happened. Alice developed this weird look on her face and she started to hyperventilate.

"MY NAIL…ITS RUINED…THE WEDDING IS RUINED!" Alice screamed running out of the room in her underwear. We gave chase as she darted into the hotel hallway but we couldn't catch up to her. We found her in the reception hall tossing a table's center piece.

"EVERYTHINGS RUINED…THIS VASE…RUINED…MY NAIL…RUINED…MY FOOT… RUINED…NOTHING IS GOING RIGHT!" Alice bellowed knocking over an amplifier. The DJ gave her a dirty look as she rolled on the floor crying about "the perfect wedding going down the drain"

"Jesus did you act like this at our wedding?" Edward whispered shocked.

"Edward…you seriously have to ask that?…Personally Bella I think you had more of a right to act that way and you didn't. I give you kudos for remaining calm even though your wedding was held in blizzard with Emmett having to become a last ditch minister. Personally I would of flipped the fuck out…we would be at Alice's grave site right now if that was me. And don't even get me started on the snowmobile stunt." Rosalie whispered/ grunted. Having enough of it at this point Rosalie walked over, picked her up with one hand and slapped her across the face.

"Alice get a hold on yourself…the only reason your wedding is getting ruined is because of you!" Rose said.

" looks like we're going to need the dart gun…luckily its in our suite…I know exactly where it is!" Edward said as we grabbed hands and went up to get it together. Edward and I both knew not to stick around long when Alice was like that. As we stepped off the elevator and into the hallway we ran smack dab into the devil himself.

"Hey guys…how's Alice?" Jasper asked.

"Alice?…she's fine….couldn't be better!" My voice cracked at the end. Edward shifted nervously and looked away.

"so where are you going?" Edward asked.

"oh to the reception hall…Alice wanted me to check up on a few things!" Jasper said.

"Um I wouldn't do that right now if I were you…Alice decided to make a last minute change…hanging little hearts from the ceiling ( fortunately she actually did this early this morning). A whole team of decorators are in there right now and its really chaotic. She told us to tell you to hang out with Emmett right now…not to worry about a thing!" I lied. Edward nodded in agreement.

"okay…if that's what she wants!" Jasper said weirded out. He then turned back around. We passed Jasper's room on the way to ours. The door was open enough that we saw Emmett sneaking nips into his pocket.

"oh god!" Edward said shaking his head. We then be lined it to the suite. Edward dug Jasper's dart gun out of his suit case. I looked at him.

"we modified the dosage…she'll only be knocked out for 20 minutes." Edward said answering my unspoken question.

"Edward…she's getting married in 25 minutes!" I said freaking out.

"then it will give us enough time to get her back upstairs, dressed and ready with five minutes to spare. Also we have a massive amount of coffee in here thanks to Alice being a caffeine addict." Edward said. I nodded and we took back off.

"Thank god Jasper lent me this…although I planned to use this under different circumstances…like Alice holding you hostage in the attempt to put makeup on." Edward said. Luckily Alice already put my makeup on me when our hair got done. That was the last thing Alice made us do before we met back up with everyone.

Alice was still throwing a fit when we reentered the banquet hall. Edward shot her point blank in the chest and she went down immediately. Rosalie was the first over to her, slinging the limp Alice immediately over her shoulder with her face towards the sky. Looks like she couldn't fight it this time.

"in the chest…good shot!" Charlie whistled as we walked back into the hallway. Rosalie placed Alice in bed and we went to work. Edward went downstairs to pay for the damages that Alice caused there. I fixed the damage done to Alice's hair. Rosalie fixed Alice's chipped nails ( fortunately Rose had a matching color gold nail polish and all Alice's chips were on the tips of her nails). Then we planned an attack on her makeup ( Alice had told everyone at the hair salon that she wanted to do hers herself…looks like that wasn't going to happen). We found Alice's battle plan (an event this big…Alice spent days…weeks even planning how her face was going to look.) on her dresser. She had down to the model number what she wanted where.

"Thank god Alice is one for details…she would of killed us if we did her make up differently then what she wanted!" Rosalie whistled as we grabbed everything.

"I got the lips…I'm not really that good at handling eyes even when there's a detailed description on how to arch the eyeliner." I said.

" I have her eyes no problem!" Rose said. Between the two of us we finished five minutes later. The next 15 minutes were spent struggling to get Alice in her dress. Her dresses back was the most complicated that I ever saw. A third of it was buttoned, a third zippered and a third tied. I thought I was going to go cross-eyed at the end. Her shoes only took a split second to put on. We had just stood up when Alice came around. She was groggy until she got a look at the clock.

"OH MY GOD…IM GETTING MARRIED IN FIVE MINUTES…AHHHHHHHHHH!" Alice shrieked thinking she was still in her underwear. She stopped dead in front of a mirror.

"ohthankgod!" Alice whispered in one breath. Rose and I grabbed our umbrella props and change purses. Then the three of us headed out into the living room.

"Alice do you need coffee?" Edward asked.

"no thank you I'm fine…and I forgive you for knocking me out this time…however do it again and your dead!" Alice said. We then made our way to the ceremony.

"The DJ grabbed an extra amplifier and the hotel had an extra vase so everything's all set." Edward whispered in my ear. I smiled.

"thank you…it would have been a nightmare other wise." I said

"no problem!" Edward beamed. It was then that we made it to the doors of the room where the ceremony was supposed to take place. Edward went to stand with the guys who were already standing at the end of the isle.


	44. Alice's big day part 2

**i don't own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 44

BPV.

The doors opened and the march began. I looked around. The room looked like it was the inside of a very coordinated hostess snow globe. It was obvious even to the outsider that Alice chose to get married on Valentines day just so she could have that color scheme. There was a massive amount of pink, white, and red everywhere. The minute I touched the isle my eyes jumped to the best man. He looked up and after that point it seemed like we were the only two people on the face of the earth again. If I hadn't already been married to him I would of day dreamed about what that day would have been like. Instead I remembered the feelings from my wedding…with the exception of being scared out of my mind that Alice was going to kill me. The happiness and the joy that he chose me. That nothing mattered but who was waiting for you at the end of the isle. From the look on his face I could tell Edward was going through the same thing. I slightly touched my wedding band and we smiled at each other. The music then changed and the doors opened again. Alice and my father appeared. The look on her face told me that Alice was slightly buzzed though I don't know how. She must of snuck a nip some how. She was wearing her hot pink, rhinestone studded wedding dress. Coming down to her shoulder was a matching hot pink veil that was placed on her the minute we had gone into the hallway. Her hands were covered in hot pink gloves. The videographer and photographer both zoomed in on her and she began posing immediately. Charlie looked down turning beet red.

"I feel like I'm in a cup cake!" Emmett said looking around.

"excuse me…you feel like your in a cup cake…I have lace coming out of me…I feel like little bow peep!" Rosalie whispered heatedly.

"A hot little bow peep!" Emmett commented. I heard a throat clear. That was when I looked to see the new additions. They were the only four people standing there that I didn't know. The two girls were obviously out of Alice's textiles classes. Of course Alice would do that. One of the groomsmen looked infatuated with his opposite while I caught the other gawking Rosalie. Obviously both she and Emmett missed it. They would of freaked other wise. Jasper was too lost in Alice to see or hear any of the exchanges going on. I had a funny feeling that he dreamed about this day ever since he first laid eyes on Alice. The minister smiled at the happy couple once Alice joined us.

"about two months ago none of us here probably thought that this is where we would be. I know I thought I would be in Florida on some beach while my kids splashed in the water ( everyone snickered). This couple was only a little more then a month into their new relationship (Alice hissed " we were friends for years…this guy makes it sound like a shot gun wedding because I got knocked up or something like that!") . Yet here we are today…celebrating the union of Jasper and Alice." the minister started. Emmett coughed something that sounded eerily similar to "I could of did a better job!". Rosalie stepped on his foot.

"So before we go on…anyone with objections…speak now or forever hold your peace?" the minister asked. Everyone looked around.

" alright…who here presents this woman to this man to be his lawfully wedded wife?" The man asked.

" I do!" Charlie gruffed. A tear slid down his face and Alice gestured for the cameramen to take pictures. She then slid out her onion-napkin prop and lightly waived it in my face while pointing at the camera. Edward and I shook our heads but knowing that she wouldn't stop we appeased her. My eyes immediately stung. I was going to kill her later. Alice made periodic gestures indicating what pose she wanted everyone to do for the rest of the ceremony. She got so engrossed that the minister had to grunt to get her attention back to exchanging rings with Jasper. Right before they were declared husband and wife, Alice pointed to me, made a fake smile with her hands and made her final posing face. She then pointed to the isle. So that's what she wanted me to do!

Edward grabbed my arm the minute we walked back down the isle. The 50 pounds of confetti + the doves made it hard to see never mind walk around in 6 in high heels. Edward basically had to support the both of us down the isle. I would of surely broken my neck or something if it wasn't for him.

"hey Bella…we're sharing a middle and last name again!" Alice said in the same tone she used when she was five. If I hadn't known that Alice was in love with Jasper I would of sworn that she married him just for that purpose. Edward stared at her for a second.

"who would of thought…last year Jasper was sending me a song-o-gram, this year we're married…boy how life changes!" Alice said. We then made our way to the reception. After making the rounds Alice returned to the table thinking that Jasper was behind her. Instead the DJ had lent him a microphone and he was standing in the middle of the empty dance floor.

"Alice dear, I know that we agreed that the wedding was going to be our gift to each other this year for Valentines day but I got you something a little extra special. I need you to close your eyes though." Jasper said. Alice looked confused but did as told. Just then the doors burst open and Lady Gaga came in singing "Bad Romance" with an extra mic in her hand.

"Its no song-o-gram but I improvised!' Jasper said into his microphone.

"Shut up….SHUT THE FUCK UP…HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HER ROYAL HIGHNESS TO ATTEND MY WEDDING!" Alice screeched happily. I thought she was going to faint.  
"Well it wasn't easy. I had to keep the decision out of my mind all the time. I just called Gaga this morning. Luckily she was in the area and she was ecstatic to come. She thought I was joking at first, said that last time she heard I hadn't even asked you out yet. So I broke the happy news and one thing lead to another!" Jasper said.

"awwww…jazzy…always thinking about me!" Alice cooed excitedly. Jasper smiled. We watched as Lady Gaga serenaded the couple with three songs before heading to a guest table with an empty seat.

"Alright, I can die and go to heaven now…my idol came to my wedding!" Alice sighed happily. Alice's month was made just off of that. Dinner was then served. Jasper and Alice made more rounds asking everyone if the food was good. The salmon was cooked to perfection…I couldn't of done it better my self. Just then a pea hit me in the face. Looking over we saw Emmett playing mini "baseball" with his carrots and peas.

"God Emmett, your in college…STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR FOOD!" Rosalie mumbled. Emmett immediately dropped his carrot "bat". Thank god Alice was in the middle of her "first couples' dance or she would have been pissed.

A little while later people started to venture out to the dance floor. Edward took my hand and lead me out. Rosalie took off towards the bathroom. As we finished one of the slow dances the disco ball that Alice had demanded we get came down from the ceiling. The entire crowd clapped and faster paced music started to play. Then a couple of things happened.

RPV

I had gone into the bathroom to touch up my makeup. With all the eating and drinking going on my lipstick had become non existent and I needed to reapply it. Entering the bathroom I could hear the sounds of someone getting sick. Somebody must of took advantage of the open bar! I shook my head…poor baby! As I was pulling out the bottle of lipstick from my purse a very young girl stumbled out of the stall. She looked barely of age. Leave it to Alice to have people develop alcohol poisoning at her wedding!

"I cantt belie eve it…everryones gettingg married…noot mee…Iii wont marry till im thiiirty!" The girl slurred before passing out. I dragged her out to a couch and told the staff about her. Then I headed back towards the reception. As I opened the door the song changed. "All The Single Ladies" blasted through the air. My eyes immediately darted towards the middle of the dance floor. There a group of twenty ,obviously single, girls were dancing with their skirts hiked up to their asses. In the middle of it all, making himself an Emmett sandwich, was my soon to be dead boyfriend. I snarled. That perverted, disgusting, jackass…how could he? After I let the stripper thing go-I could of gone hard core but I didn't- this is how he repays me! GRINDING WITH A BUNCH OF WHORES! That was it. Emmett was going to die! It was then I caught a pair of simmering brown eyes staring at me from across the room. A plan formulated in my mind. Hello tall, dark, and handsome! I started to lay my trap. The size twelve's that belonged to those eyes sauntered over, meaning that he read my signals well. Hook line and sinker!

"Well hello gorgeous!" The man said in a deep southern drawl as he was sauntering over. It turned out that he was one of the groomsmen. He stared right at my chest. This was so degrading but it had to be done.

"Well hello there your self!" I greeted back.

"So sweetie…do you have a name?" The man asked.

"Rosalie Hale…and yours?" I asked shaking his hand.

"My name's James!" The guy said.

"So…James…I happened to notice that your one of the groomsmen…how do you know the happy couple?" I asked.

"I'm friends with Jasper. We met in general psych. How about you darling?" he asked staring at me hungrily.

" I'm Jasper's cousin. I'm also very good friends with Alice!" I answered.

" must be some good genes in that family if they produced you!" James said.

"What a charming accent…where are you from?" I asked trying to change the subject off of me.

"I'm from Mississippi…born and raised! I even attended the university of Mississippi…I even interned in a partially opened insane asylum. Then I had the chance to come here, which I took, but I lost all of my credits. The guidance counselors screwed up, so I'm redoing my freshman year." James said.

"oh that's horrible…so your from Mississippi…what's it like?" I asked with fake interest.

"well I can tell you that no southern bell holds a candle to you honey!" James said with lust in his voice.

"what if I told you I had southern roots!" I whispered.

"Really!" James lit up like a Christmas tree. This guy was too easy!

"See up until my great grandpa…Emmett Cullen ( I laughed at the irony of that statement internally) my entire family lived in Alabama!" I said. At that point I turned towards the dance floor and caught Alice's eye who winked. Alice knew exactly what to do at this point.

BPV.

Edward and I were on the side of the dance floor watching everything go down. I couldn't believe that Emmett was so engrossed with dancing with those girls that Rose was seeking attention from other men.

"I knew this was going to happen!" Edward groaned shaking his head. Alice charged the group like the little dynamo she was. The group parted just like in the story of Moses.

"EMMETT…YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND…GET YOUR ASS AWAY FROM THESE GIRLS THIS INSTANT!" Alice roared grabbing Emmett by the ear and dragging him next to us.

"ouch Alice…why did you have to do that!" Emmett moaned rubbing his ear. Alice grunted and shifted her eyes in the direction of Rosalie. The way the guy was staring at her we could tell that he was visually undressing her. So disgusting! But Emmett didn't catch what Alice meant.

"Emmett…Rosalie!" Alice grunted louder and making the same motion.

"Rosalie what?" Emmett asked.

"with. The . Biggest. Player. In. Jaspers. General. Psych. Class….EMMETT YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S GETTING HIT ON YOU DOPE!" Alice roared pointing at Rose. The man was resting against the wall at this point and staring lustily at her chest. Seeing the forced flirtatious look on her face told me that this was her plan all along. This is probably what Alice saw. Emmett then let out the sound of a grizzly bear on the attack.

"NO ONE HITS ON EMMETT MCCARTHY'S GIRLFRIENDS!" Emmett snarled bulldozing over ten people to get to them. Honestly he made King Kong look like a nice baby chimpanzee.

"Oh shit…looks like Emmett's suffering from roid rage!" Jasper said as we all looked down in embarrassment. Emmett bellowed a pissed off grunt.

"YOU…LAY THE FUCK OFF…SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND!" Emmett growled clenching his fist.

"I didn't know the incredible hulk was based on a true story…besides what did you think would happen…she's a hottie…and your off grinding with some notties…if you don't notice how good looking your girlfriend is then someone else will." The man said.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?…DUDE DID YOU JUST FUCKING HIT ON MY GIRLFRIEND IN FRONT OF ME…FUCK YOU BUDDY…ONLY I GET TO SAY THAT ABOUT HER!" Emmett roared picking the man up by the throat and shoving him against the wall. Rosalie looked like she was mortified. I swore I heard it crack even from here. Emmett and Rose walked away as the man slumped unconscious to the floor.

"You didn't have to do that you know…you caused a scene … I didn't think you'd act like that…that wasn't in my plan!" Rosalie said embarrassed.

"Rosalie…why on gods earth would you purposely put me through that…did you know how jea-!" Emmett said shocked

"Jealous you felt, how angry and hurt you were? How do you think I felt when caught you with your stripper ex…I know you didn't screw her but seeing you in that car with her, in our apartment…naked…with her! Or how about tonight when you were practically poll dancing on those girls waiving your hands in the air. Did you think I was happy to see all of that! You needed a taste of your own medicine Emmett!" Rosalie said both hurt and pissed.

"but I didn't think…" Emmett started up.

"Exactly you don't think about other people sometimes…all you care about is yourself!" Rose said with a fire in her eye.

"Baby I'm sorry…really I am…I just wanted to dance and you weren't around!" Emmett whined.

"no that was some male attention thing that was going on there...you wanted to see what would happen if you did that and it blew up in your face. Emmett, babe, meet the new Rosalie. I'm not taking your shit anymore. You want to dance with other girls…fine go right ahead. Just remember that it's a two way street baby…you can do what you want then so can I. Maybe you'll think about that before next time." Rosalie said in a final tone. She then looked over at her parents who were in deep conversation with Grandpa Cullen at their table.

"They didn't hear…but I think we should tell them anyways. I mean you never know who heard Emmett's rant." Rosalie said shaking her head.

"Come on Emmett…its time to face the music!" Rose grabbed Emmett's hand and turned towards her parents table. Edward, Jasper, Alice and I followed along for moral support.

"Hey guys I have to tell you something!" Rose said getting their attention.

"what's wrong Rose?" her mother asked

"Mom, dad, ggrandpa…I have some news…Emmett and I are-" Rosalie was cut off by her sister Rosland barging over.

"Mom , dad, I have to tell you guys something…this cant wait any longer…TY AND I ELOPED LAST WEEK CAUSE I'M PREGNANT…WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY…EEEEEE!" Rosland shrieked. Rose's mom slumped to the floor.

"Wait a minute…exactly who the fuck is Ty…and if he's your husband why isn't he here?" Her father asked shocked.

"oh I didn't tell you…we've been dating for a month and a half (Rosland didn't live with her parents…and she goes to a different school then everyone else)…we met in my history class…we started hanging out…and then everything went by so fast… in next thing I know I have a bun in the oven. He's not here because I told him to stay home…that he couldn't miss class. Remember last weekend… I called and told you I was spending it at a friends vineyard …well me and Ty found a chapel in Seattle and we tied the knot. CONGRATULATIONS GRANDPA HALE!" Rosland bellowed the last part while nudging her father.

"boy I know people out in Washington State…one phone call and Ty can go bye -bye…or if you want to wait we can do the job ourselves." Grandpa Cullen whispered in Rose's father's ear.

" I'll take that second option…but Jack we're not going to kill him…he needs to learn the repercussions of his actions!" Rose's father whispered back.

"That's what Carlisle's for, I didn't send that boy to med school for nothing…hey maybe while he's fixing the boy up he could give him a little snip down under…prevent future 'accidents'." Grandpa Cullen said.

"Now Rose what were you going to say?" her father asked.

"Nothing…I said nothing!" Rose gulped. She then turned towards Rosland with a fire in her eye.

" ROSLAND…YOUR HAVING A BABY WITH SOMEONE THAT NO ONE KNOWS…YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM…HE COULD BE A CREEP! A  
PEDAPHILE…SERIOUSLY HE COULD BE SOME TAPPED CHILD MOLESTER AND YOU PROVIDE HIM FREE ACCESS…DO YOU EVEN THINK! BESIDES THE PLACE YOU LIVE DOESN'T HAVE ROOM FOR CHILDREN…WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD TWINS…DID YOU THINK ABOUT THAT!" Rosalie snarled. It was dead obvious that Rosalie had the unborn child's interest at heart. She didn't even know the child. Rosland could have been having the Antichrist and Rosalie would of still defended it.

"I…uh…um" Rosland stumbled out.

"Exactly…you didn't!" Rosalie huffed.

"Listen Rose…I'm only about a month along…there are things that we can do!" Rosland said.

"THINGS YOU CAN DO …YOUR GOING TO HARM A CHILD JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE STUPID…JUST BECAUSE SOME GUY NAME TY CAME ON TO YOU. GOD YOU WERE ALWAYS LIKE THIS WITH MEN. THE MINUTE THEY SHOWED INTEREST YOU HOPPED RIGHT ON INTO BED WITH THEM. YOU KNEW YOUR LIFESTYLE AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN TAKE THE PILL OR GET THE SHOT. HOW MANY TIMES DID UNCLE CARLISLE WARN YOU THAT THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN AFTER YOU ASKED HIM TO GET YOU THE MORNING AFTER PILL! LOOKS LIKE YOU WAITED TOO LONG THIS TIME…COULDN'T FIND A CLINIC AT YOUR 'WEDDING!'. FRANKLY I'M SURPRISED THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN SOONER! I SHOULD BE AUNTIE ROSALIE TEN TIMES OVER WITH ALL THE MORNING AFTER PILLS YOU TOOK. AND YOUR PULLING THIS STUNT ON THE DAY OF OUR COUSIN'S AND MY FRIEND'S WEDDING…HONESTLY YOU HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE NOW. THIS COULDN'T WAIT TILL TOMORROW MORNING. YOU ARE SO SELFISH. YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HAVING A CHILD!" Rose screeched.

"Thank god we got married first…I mean I know when we broke that news to your dad he took it well…but if you had gotten pregnant first he would of acted just like that!" Edward whispered while pointing to Grandpa , who was making battle plans. Alice was looking over his shoulder.

"ooh Grandpa…can this wait a month…I want to come…she's my cousin now too…I can have my assault rifle out the minute I get back!" Alice said excitedly. Grandpa Cullen beamed with pride.

"anything for a daughter of Kill-a-Swan…these things take time anyways…the addition of you Alice adds a new layer to the plan…if this is to take place in a park your going to be right here…in a home and your right here!" Grandpa said pointing to impromptu plans he made out.

"Rose your on birth control right?" Emmett gulped.

"Of course I am…I tell you every morning Emmett 'I'm taking my Lady Pills' really you think I'm as stupid as Rosland. Yeah I cant wait for a little bundle of joy but I'm in no shape to have a kid right now and neither are you Rosland. You really should of thought about your situation BEFORE TY JR WAS CONCIEVED! Your are in such a mess right now and you don't even know it. Did you even know Ty's last name before you got hitched?" Rose said shaking her head.  
" uh no…I really didn't think to ask…whatever I don't need this. I need to be concentrating on baby names…I'll probably just continue the R merriment…Rosemarie Alyssa for a girl …and I was thinking Ricardo Tyson for a boy after Ty…he's Tyson Ricardo after all " Rosland said. Edward spit out his drink upon hearing the boys name.

"Tyson Ricardo…he wouldn't happen to be Tyson Ricardo Boyle…my ex boyfriend!" Rosalie snarled the last part. Rosland's face dropped.

"Uh…noo…not the same one!" Rosland lied poorly.

"ROSLAND DON'T LIE TO ME!" Rosalie said through gritted teeth.

"well you have to understand…it wasn't all my fault…see he was cute and I didn't understand my history homework so he came to tutor me one night. Next thing I know we're dating. I didn't know he was your ex!" Rosland said.

"Rosland stop lying to me…you met him before! He went to the Bahamas with our family for crying out loud!" Rosalie said. Alice then tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to the videographer who was capturing the entire thing.

"oh shit…your sister banging your ex…and getting pregnant by him too…that sucks!" Emmett said.

"Emmett shut it!" Rose said.

"That's like if Edward banged Alice!" Emmett continued on. Edward made a gagging sound and Alice went "EWWWWW…EMMETT THAT'S GROSS!…no offence Bella!"

"none taken!" I said. Actually that image was kind of funny due to the fact that they probably would of killed each other by now if I wasn't in the picture.

"EMMETT SHUT UP ALREADY!" Rosalie growled.

"This is Jerry Springer shit man…I could see it now… ' My Sister Is My Ex-Boyfriend's Baby Mama!' JER-RY…JER-RY!" Emmett fist pumped the last part.

"Emmett stop right now!" Rosalie said narrowing her eyes. Emmett flinched.

"Rosland YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN ME AND TYSON…HOW I FOUND OUT HE HAD THE CLAP FROM SOME PROSTITUTE IN A WHORE HOUSE. HE CHEATED ON ME…HE DIDN'T EVEN WEAR A GLOVE! AND OBVIOUSLY HE TILL DOESN'T BY THE LOOKS OF THINGS. GOD ROSALINE HAS MORE SENSE THEN YOU AND SHES MY ADOPTED SISTER. YOUR HAVING A BABY WITH MY EX BOYFRIEND…DID YOU EVEN CONSIDER WHAT THIS WOULD DO TO THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU. I DIDN'T EVEN PLAN ON SEEING HIS FACE EVER AGAIN AND NOW I HAVE TO AT EVERY FAMILY EVENT…X 2. YOU NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT HOW MUCH PAIN IT WILL CAUSE ME…ALL YOU SAW WAS A DING DONG!" Rosalie growled

"Long duck dong!" Emmett laughed.

"you know what Rosland…you can keep your man…but remember what goes around comes around. Karma's a bitch. He's visited whore houses before and he'll continue to do so. don't come crying to me when you get a call from a free clinic saying that your boyfriend…well in your case Mrs. Tyson Boyle or is it Mrs. Hale-Boyle, I think husband is the correct term…has STDS…and then you have to listen to him admit that he banged a whore!" Rosalie said. That gave us new insight on why Rosalie acted so jealous. Her past combined with the fact that she was dating Emmett made her the way she was. Rosland shook her head and walked away.

"Wow…Rose do you have a picture of this man…I want to see who just replaced me on Grandpa C's hit list?" Emmett asked.

"yeah I have a picture left over on my phone." Rosalie said taking out her phone. She dug through the picture archives until she stopped at one of her and some guy standing on the peak of Mt. Rainer. He was tall, heavily muscular, curly hair, and dressed in work out clothes…a lot like Emmett. Huh so it looked like both Rose and Rosland were attracted to Emmett like men.

"huh looks like an ass." Emmett commented. I had to hold back laughter. Well you know what they say…takes one to know one!

"So Rose…back to earlier…I thought those were your woman's vitamin pills…come to think of it my mom restarted what she called her 'Lady Pills' too…but I figured that again it was 'One a Day Woman's' or something like that…which is odd with my dad uh not there anymore!" Emmett said. Rosalie cocked an eyebrow.

"Emmett you dope…your mom's on birth control!" Rosalie hissed.

"Why would my mom be on birth control?" Emmett asked confused. Rosalie cocked an eyebrow and narrowed her eyes as if it should be dead obvious.

"OH I GET IT…SHE'S STARTING MENOPAUSE!" Emmett bellowed smugly.

"I'm dating an idiot!" Rosalie groaned. Since we knew that he would be upset over the truth we decided to let him keep that image. Frankly if Mrs. McCarthy was on birth control she definitely was not in menopause.

Emmett's point of view.

A little while later I was by my self since Rosie had gotten so pissed over the dancing incident. Rose had run off to the bathroom to gossip with Alice and Bella . Edward had gone off with Bella to keep her from Alice no doubt and Jasper was talking war plans with his grandfather…bor-ing! I took the last sip of my drink…damn it I needed another…Emmett McCarthy never had an empty drink in his hand! It was then that Rosalie's clone came walking over. Since Rosalie's really angry with her I probably shouldn't talk to her. I didn't want to give Rose another reason to get mad at me tonight. Maybe she wont say hi if I don't look at her. I began to look all around the room trying to find something interesting to look at.

"Hello Emmett!" she said in a deep raspy voice while fluttering her eyes. Damn it!

"Hey Ros…I think Rose is around here somewhere!" I said thinking that's what she wanted.

"I couldn't help but notice that your glass seemed empty…so I came to give you a refill!" she said handing me a Alabama slammer. Sweet!

"Thanks Rosland!" I exclaimed taking the glass from her hand. Wow she was really nice!

"do you think Rosalie's really mad at me?" Rosland asked looking extremely upset. Her mouth developed a small pout.

"You know how she is…give her a little time to calm down…she got mad at me tonight too you know!" I said. Rosland's eyes lit up.

"I don't know how anyone could be mad at you Emmett…your so sweet!" Rosland said with what I thought was sympathy in her voice.

"well I could see why she was mad at me. I was doing something that I shouldn't of been doing. I just get caught up in the moment." I said.

"That's exactly how I feel!" Rosland said taking a step closer.

"don't worry …I think she'll be okay." I said nonchalantly. Normally with a girl like this…I probably would of hit on her, checked her out…but oddly enough I felt nothing. If anything I felt a little uncomfortable talking to her…I never feel uncomfortable talking to girls…if anything I make them feel uncomfortable. I never felt this way before.

"Emmett…my sister can be such a bitch sometimes…you don't have to put up with that…a beautiful caring man such as yourself. I know that your together…I saw…I saw everything. My sister should of never did that to you!" Rosland said while rubbing my leg. Okay needed to get away from creepy pregnant sister slut…fast!

"such strong thigh muscles you have!" she cooed.

"um Rosland I have to go…uh Jasper's calling me!" I said trying to break away.

"Jasper's busy planning with grandpa…I don't know who your trying to kid Emmett…speaking of kids Emmett…all I really have to do is get rid of Ty and give him custody and we could be together. Think about it…you don't have to put up with Rose's bullshit!" she said pushing her face within inches of mine.

"Uh Rosland…I would never cheat on Rosalie…so you could just forget about it!" I tried to walk away but Rosland grabbed me firmly and pulled me back around.

"I WANT YOU…AND I'M GOING TO HAVE YOU!" Rosland demanded as she grabbed my ass. MOMMYYYYY!

"MOMMYYY!" I cried out loud. Oh shit did I just say that out loud?

"Yes Emmett I am your mommy…you've been very naughty…YOUR ABOUT TO GET PUNISHED!" Rosland said. Just then there was a flash of white lace and blonde hair. Rosalie had Rosland on the ground and was wiling out…meticulously avoiding her stomach. She ripped a clump of hair right out of Rosland's scalp.

"YOU BITCH…FIRST TYSON…NOW EMMETT….WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE HITTING ON MY BOYFRIEND! GO FUCK YOURSELF!" Rosalie said making a noise that wasn't humanly possible. The whole Cullen table…which included Rose's parents, Grandpa Cullen and Jasper turned around. Rose's parents looked shocked, Grandpa Cullen looked pissed and Jasper had a sort of mortified / oh shit they found out look on his face.

"Go Rosalie…don't put up with that shit!" Rosaline called in a very Alice like fashion.

" WHAT IS IT WITH YOU….DO YOU HAVE TO FLIRT WITH EVERY MAN ON THE FACE OF THIS EARTH…YOU EVEN HIT ON EDWARD AND JASPER…AND THEIR YOUR COUISNS!" Rosalie said slapping Rosland across the face.

"EWW!" I said grossed out.

" I never hit on them…well okay I may of hit on Edward once…but I was really drunk…I didn't know it was him!" Rosland said. The look on Bella's face told me that Edward had already told her that. They told me that one of their cousins was a slut…but damn I never figured that would happen. I really should of went to those Christmas parties!

"CANT BE YOUR EXCUSE THIS TIME. YOUR PREGNANT…CANT DRINK WHILE WITH CHILD NOW CAN WE ROSLAND…WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY THIS TIME? ' EMMETT CAME ON TO ME?' I DON'T THINK SO. I HEARD EVERYTHING!…YOU THOUGHT I WAS A 'BITCH'…WELL YOU AINT SEEN NOTHING YET!" Rosalie roared like a mother lion. Alice was sobbing quietly behind her.

"this wedding was supposed to be about me-I mean me and Jasper!" Alice sobbed. Everyone ignored that comment.

"ROSLAND…SAY HELLO TO MAMA BITCH!" Rose said decking her in the face with what I thought was an awesome right hook. It was at that point that security came in and dragged the both of them away.

"PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT! I'LL SUE! THIS IS SECURITY BRUTALITY…UNNESSARY ROUGHNESS…I COULD GET YOU FOR ASSAULT! HEY SHE'S PREGNANT…WATCH YOUR HANDS ON THAT BELLY YOU BIG BAFFOON!" Rosalie roared as the security guard threw her over his shoulder. Her feet were flying in the air.

"Why am I getting in trouble?" Rosland asked as they carried her into a different room then Rose.

"Cause your hot!" The security guard said.

"Thank you!" Rosland said really flattered

"HEY WATCH YOUR MOUTH…SHE'S A MARRIED MOM TO BE!" Rosalie shouted.

" Shut up hot sister!" The security guard said turning and looking at Rose.

"you know what Johnny…your married…why don't you take this one…I'll take Aphrodite over there." the man said pointing to Rose. Did he just hit on Rose. Having enough I went over there.

"Excuse me…but I'm very capable of dealing with my girlfriend. Frankly speaking if anyone should be taken away its that one cause she's the one that started it." I said. After I flexed my muscles the man dropped Rose like she was a bag of hot potatoes. Rosland stretched her head around and went "Call me!"

BPV

"About time…someone should tell her that envy green really isn't her color. She's more of a lime…jinks!" Rosaline and Alice said together. I still couldn't believe that there was too Alice's in this world…never mind in the same family.

"you know Alice…I never got to say how much I love your wedding…I totally wanted to get married on Valentines day too…but I don't want to copy you!" Rosaline or whatever we should call her said.

"oh you still can silly…as long as you don't get married here it wont be copying…are you seeing anyone?" Alice asked

"well actually…there is this one guy…kinda looks like Jasper…his name's Casper. I've been seeing him for a while now. He's right over there talking to Jasper. I've been pestering him to get married for a while now but he says that I need to learn what marriage is. Please its just because he's into all that psychological bullshit. He's more emotional then I am!" Rosaline said.

"Oh my god girl I went through the exact same thing. I thought I was the only one!" Alice exclaimed.

"like last night…when he gave me this speel about how we're going to get married when we both feel like it….a.k.a when he feels like it and how I need to understand that a marriage isn't about the wedding but the life after. Really? All I'm asking for is a wedding with everyone dressed in hot pink and all eyes on me and my black and baby pink gown…Alice you understand…you don't like tradition either…with matching flower girls prancing down the isle before you…" oh god it must be genetic. I felt so sorry for Jasper.

"and then you make your grand entrance…you strut down the isle like your Tyra Banks….and then you see him!" Alice said.

"I've been practicing my "surprise at seeing Casper" pose for a while now…I'm just waiting for that rock!" Rosaline said.

"Girl I'm going to give you a piece of advice…you don't have to practice that face…it comes natural when you get your first good glance…you do need to train your bridesmaids though. And Jasper said the same exact thing to me. Did you get the speech that marriage wasn't about "the me factor" but was about the "we factor" too?" Alice asked. I had to hold back laughter. It reminded me of the saying " birds of a feather flock together."

"yeah…I found that weird because we all know marriage is about the " me factor". I mean one half of the "we" is "me"" Rosaline said.

"don't worry…if he's anything like Jasper and for some reason I think he is (wonder why?) he wont be able to wait that long…no I bet that you'll get that rock by the end of the month." Alice said smiling. Alright this is freaky…if I didn't know they were biological siblings then I would of sworn they were. It was then that the Jasper clones came walking over.

"Twilight zone!" Emmett said making twilight zone music. Edward started laughing under his breath.


	45. Confessions Of A Lonely Housewife

**i don't own twilight...s/m does. thanks for the reviews...keep them coming!**

Chapter 45

BPV

About a month later we were stepping off the plane for spring break. Mrs. McCarthy was waiting for us with a hat and glasses that completely obscured her face. My guess was that she was deathly afraid of being recognized as the wife of a scam artist. She tipped her glasses and glanced over her shoulder to make sure no one was looking before walking over to us.

"Hey guys…how was London…did you see the Eiffel tower?" Mrs. McCarthy asked.

"Um we were in New York." Alice said.

"Oh mom…we weren't in England…we were in Canada." Emmett said smugly. I bit my lip to keep from laughing.

"Geez now I see where Emmett gets his intelligence from." Rosalie said rolling her eyes. Honestly I didn't know how Mrs. McCarthy lived by herself

"alright guys…hurry to the car…you never know who's watching." She said tipping her glasses towards her face and turning her head down before booking it towards the car. Since my parents and her were now neighbors (they got to move to the richest plat in town…the place was chock full of mansions….Mine and Alice's new In laws were right down the street …we were going to split time between the two households.) …Mrs. McCarthy volunteered to take us back to the house.

"why is she dressed like that…she looks like she's in the mob?" Rosalie asked.

"Oh you know…she's embarrassed…what with what her husband did and all." I said truthfully.

"her husband left with some African princess…that's nothing to be ashamed about…he's the cheating scumbag jackass bastard…not her. If anything he should be the one who's ashamed. He left a woman who bore his child…if that's not the definition of an asshole I don't know what is!" Rosalie said.

"Ooh what was that?" Mrs. McCarthy asked curiously.

"Oh Mrs. McCarthy…we were just talking about the thing with Emmett's dad." Alice said wiggling her eyebrows.

"ooh…well good luck to him…he's going to see lots and lots of action where he is. Jackass!" Mrs. McCarthy said snidely. Rosalie looked confused.

"Emmett said that his mother found out about bohemian princess a few days ago. Apparently she was going through some of her husbands things and found letters. Then she got the final notice for her divorce…Emmett had to get his lawyer to come over and explain everything that she signed to her. Poor woman…really thought she was signing stuff for Emmett's college. Emmett said that she took it badly…probably why she's dressed the way she is…cant help but feel embarrassed that she got divorced when she didn't even know it." Alice lied under her breath. Rosalie looked at Emmett's mom with sympathy in her eyes.

"So guys…we have to back to my place for a second because I have to pick a few things up." Mrs. McCarthy said turning on the car.

"So wait a minute mom…when the hell did you get your license back…I thought you were supposed to have it suspended for another month after you blew the stop sign and were chased through three counties?" Emmett asked.

"My lawyer filed suit…such a brilliant man he is…hiding cameras and catching eight other people blowing the same sign. He argued that if other people blew it then why should I be the one getting charged…said that it was discrimination due to the fact that I was rich and driving the Benz at the time…god bless his soul. As for the other charges he argued that while I was guilty I had already suffered enough punishment and that after I completed my driving class I was no longer a danger on the road. So convincing…I swear that man has the gift of gab. Your father…" Mrs. McCarthy was cut off by Emmett.

"Should of used him for when he blew the red light a while back…could of argued that it had just turned while he was in the middle of the intersection." Emmett lied. I wanted to laugh…there was a whole lot worse on Mr. McCarthy's driving record then that.

"his record would have been so clean." Mrs. McCarthy sighed. Rosalie didn't catch what she said. The rest of us looked away. Alice played with her new rings. She and Jasper had spent a week at the house in Italy. During the entire time no one could get in contact with them. Knowing those two…only god knows what they did the entire time. No one asked and they certainly weren't saying anything.

"you know…this entire year's so crazy…who would of thought that you Crissy of all people would gotten divorced…while others got hitched…I mean…I thought you and Marcus of all people would have never been divorced. Mr. and Mrs. Crowley…saw that coming a mile a way since they practically ripped each other's heads off that time Tyler had a house party and they came home early. Fought so bad that they didn't even notice the party. But you two weren't like that." Alice said.

"People change." Mrs. McCarthy said.

Pulling into the plat was like a scene from the twilight zone. Every lawn was exactly six inches high, the same lawn ornaments were scattered in the same places, and the houses were cloned down to the front door…even the shutters were the same standard black. The only house that was different was the Cullen's. Carlisle preferred an eight inch lawn and had repainted the house from boring white to modern looking brown tone with white shutters. I was thanking god that the Cullen's were my parents neighbors…they wouldn't let them conform. It was then that we passed a group of people slurping down this bizarre green drink. They had that dead look in their eye that made them look like mindless idiots. We automatically knew that the drink had something to do with it.

"you know I still cant believe that they drink that health drink bull shit. Cant they see what the hell its doing to them?" Edward said shaking his head. Frankly I was surprised that Emmett wasn't hooked on that stuff. Seemed right up his alley.

"You never tried it?" I asked.

"No…our family never bought into it…besides we wanted to be liked for us…not because we looked like that." Edward said pointing to a guy who was mindlessly slurping down his drink.

"Creepy!" Rosalie shuttered.

"Yeah dad said not to try that shit…said that actually the idea for a mind control drink was his…but someone snitched and the corporation pattoned it before he had the chance. Knew his idea from a mile a way. I did try it once…I wanted to see the appeal in it. I really didn't like it much. I felt really trashed and sick at the same time and I blacked out about 5 minutes later. Woke up four hours later in the center of town completely butt naked with no idea how I got there. Oh mom if you hear from dad…don't tell him please." Emmett whispered the last part. I knew Emmett would try something like that. I shook my head.

"Oh don't worry Emmett I wont say a thing…I did the same thing a while back…only it was with tequila and not some weird green drink…don't tell your father about that either." Mrs. McCarthy said winking. Pulling into the McCarthy's driveway Mrs. McCarthy pointed out my parents new house which was located across the street. I could see that Carlisle and Esme had gotten to them before the rest of the neighborhood could conform them. Their house was a vivacious yellow with mahogany colored shutters. Alice looked like she wanted to give her seal of approval. Then we turned towards the McCarthy house. The McCarthy house was an exact replica of every other house in the neighborhood. Actually Mr. McCarthy was the "trend setter" who started this whole crazy 'lets make everyone's house look the same as mine" idea in the first place. Emmett's father had leadership qualities about him…a.k.a he was a skilled manipulator . He also bribed and extorted the shit out of every elected official like there was no tomorrow. I'm surprised he wasn't caught sooner! Really…the only reason Emmett wasn't in jail himself right now was because Mr. McCarthy bought off every judge and jury Emmett went up against. The only judge and jury he couldn't buy off was his own and I wouldn't be shocked if he tried. Walking into her house, she darted off into the kitchen while we waited in the living room. Sitting on her coffee table was a book called " Confessions of a Lonely Housewife: an autobiography of Crissy McCarthy" with a picture of Emmett and his parents on the front and a picture of Mrs. McCarthy kissing at the camera on the back. Opening the book we started to read.

"What the….mom wrote a book? She never told me!" Emmett said.

"Oh yeah…I forgot to tell you…things got a little tight so I decided to write a memoir of my life. Alright we have some time for a little reading." Mrs. McCarthy said taking a seat next to me and Alice.

_Passage from Chapter one : The beginning _

_I was sixteen and working at my family café in Montréal where I lived my whole life when he first stepped foot into my store. Our eyes locked and I knew that this was a man that could change my life. So I strutted over took his order and flirted like I never flirted before. That was the day that Marcus McCarthy entered my life._

"Mom…you told me you grew up in Seattle…not Montreal." Emmett said

"Oh well…they're not that far from each other." Mrs. McCarthy said.

_Passage from Chapter 2: a new life._

_Marcus and I married April 20th 1989 at 4:20 pm in a grand and lavish ceremony. The flower girls pranced down the isle looking like those baby things…I think they're called cabbage patch kids. I descended down the isle in a beautiful gold flaked dress and into Marcus's arms. It was a fairytale and the best day of my life. That was until August 12th 1993 when I gave birth to our 12 and ½ pound bouncing baby boy…who we called Emmett._

"Mom…my birthday is in June of 1992...not 1993...and definitely not in August. And you and dad eloped….on Halloween 1990…you didn't get married on April 20th 1989 in some lavish ceremony." Emmett said.

"How do you know that we eloped?" Emmett's mom asked.

"You told me…dad told me…grandpa told me…Uncles Aro and Caius told me!" Emmett said rolling his eyes.

"I may of embellished some facts…the publisher told me to do so!" Mrs. McCarthy said.

"Hold on…let me see that!" Rosalie said flipping to Chapter 6

_Chapter 6 : A new love_

_The years flew by and before I knew it Emmett had reached his teen years. I worried that Marcus was starting to grow board with me…we were reaching a erotic low point in our relationship. I felt neglected and unloved by a man whom I bore his child. I kept the pretense of a happy wife and mother up for Emmett's sake. Even Marcus was in the dark about how I felt…but I couldn't leave him. Where would I go…Marcus bought out my family business years ago. So I decided to stay and hope for the better. And things did eventually get better…just not in the way that I planned. We met at the local supermarket. His brown eyes bored into my soul as I picked up some protein drinks for my son. I immediately dropped the drinks into the carriage and introduced myself. His name was James and the way he made me feel was so amazing…_

"YOU HAD AN AFFAIR!" Emmett belched horrified.

"Yeah…but don't worry Emmett…I ended it after the pregnancy. I went back on birth control to make sure that nothing like that ever happens again" Mrs. McCarthy said.

"Mrs. McCarthy…What. Did. You. Do. With. The. Baby." Rosalie gasped pissed.

"well see I went down to plan parenthood and…"

"DON'T EVEN FINISH THAT SENTENCE MRS MCCARTHY…I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!" Rosalie said with a fire flaring in her eye that I had not seen since Alice's wedding. Rose was definitely 100% pro life that was for sure

"your telling me that I could have had a baby half brother?" Emmett growled shocked and pissed. Of course Emmett would assume it was a boy. Rosalie scanned the room…her face growing enraged.

"Well actually I was never sure if it was Marcus's or James's…so it could have been your full brother…" Mrs. McCarthy started up but Emmett cut her off

"MOM…YOU TOOK AWAY MY CHANCE AT HAVING A BABY BROTHER…IT COULD HAVE BEEN DADS!" Emmett roared.

"Please don't tell your father…as far as he's concerned…it was menstrual cramps. And Rose…you don't understand…" Mrs. McCarthy pleaded

"I understand perfectly…you didn't want Emmett's dad finding out that you were unfaithful…but why make the poor baby suffer!" Rosalie growled.

"awkward." Jasper mumbled under his breath.

"OK lets continue…Mrs. McCarthy there is no other surprise men right?" Alice asked as Rosalie flipped through.

_Passage from Chapter 32- the nightmare begins._

_My son was a surely new high school graduate and had just returned from a celebratory trip to Milan with his friends. The day had started out like any other…I woke up, made breakfast for my Emmykins, and then headed to the nearest tanning salon. Marcus had left early that morning…taking the infinity even though he had lost his license…he could of bribed a judge if he got caught so I wasn't concerned. After arriving home I went on my thigh master while counting how many pushups Emmett did. After that I launched into the first draft of what eventually became this book. Some time later Marcus came in with a huge smile on his face. He called Emmett into the room and told us how he bashed into someone's old red truck and totally left the scene of the accident and to boot he also hit someone's mail box as well. We were having a laugh at the story when Emmett called someone and a very shocked look crossed his face. He immediately hung up the phone and said that that Marcus had hit his best friend's girlfriend. That was when I first knew that this was not going to end well._

Rosalie turned towards Emmett enraged.

"Wow…you really are such an asshole Emmett…your father leaves someone for dead on the side of the road and you laugh at that…never mind the fact that it was Bella…you know…the apple doesn't fall far from the tree at least in certain circumstances!" Rosalie growled.

"I didn't know it was Bella…I didn't know until Edward called me…Rose you weren't there…that was the old me…I'm nicer now!" Emmett defended

"Old red truck Emmett…you knew the only people who drove those in town were me and Bella…and you knew that I was at a party…you were planning on going to the same one!" Alice rolled her eyes.

"I want to continue reading this…Mrs. McCarthy do you mind if I take this with me after wards…I want to see what Emmett hid from me." Rosalie asked to which Mrs. McCarthy agreed.

_Passage from Chapter 33- the nightmare continues_

_It was that same night as the accident. My son was smoking a 'cigarette' in the living room and my husband was in his study smoking a 'cigar'. I was in the kitchen making dinner when all hell broke loose. Agents were swarming my house and had tackled my husband to the ground. The local police chief stumbled upon Emmett and promptly arrested him. I felt my life go into shambles before my very eyes. Asking what charges were against my husband I was handed a packet. I flipped though the pictures of the accident and then came on to some of my husband taking money from a man in a suspicious way Then I came upon one that made me sick…my husband…a prostitute….and a hotel room. Needless to say I flipped shit. I punched him all the way to the car and refused to bail him out of jail. I was mortified…I know I sound like a huge hypocrite right now but honestly I cheated because he was acting like a cold indifferent jerk. I was the doting wife and he still strayed._

"Emmett…you told me that your father had run away with an African princess…your fathers in jail?" Rose said shocked

"I was embarrassed…I mean how do you say to your girlfriend 'yeah my dad's going to be in jail for the rest of his life' I didn't want you to worry." Emmett said.

"how the hell do I know that your telling the truth Emmett…that your not lying?" Rosalie growled.

"honestly babe you don't have any reason to trust me…so why would I lie now?" Emmett asked truthfully. Rosalie looked like she bought it

"true." Rosalie agreed

"I know that I shouldn't of lied to you like that…I'm sorry." Emmett apologized.

"so speaking of your father and his crime riddled family…I visited Uncle Aro the other day. Your father may be a scum bag but I figure Aro's still your uncle so he's still family to me. Said that he and Caius filed appeals…they're hoping to get out soon and they want to see you. I'm okay with it if you want to see them…but Emmett whatever you do don't let them talk you into anything. You know how that side of the family is." Mrs. McCarthy said.

"What were they in for?" Rosalie asked.

"Ponzi scheme." I whispered in Rosalie's ear.  
"Oh so they're apart of the McCarthy 'Family'" Rosalie said putting Emmett's linage together. As I said everyone in Washington knew about the Grand McCarthy "Family"

"Don't worry Mrs. McCarthy…ill keep an eye on the situation should it arise." Rosalie said.

"Thank you." Mrs. McCarthy responded.

"no problem." Rosalie responded. I had a feeling that she was doing this more for Emmett's sake then Mrs. McCarthy.

"I cant believe I'm dating someone who's 'connected'" Rosalie said shaking her head.

"you should try having some guy you slept with come out…at your graduation party. Thank god I got married…that wont ever happen again!" Alice said.


End file.
